Guts

Jack and Alex have been best of friends for as long as Jack can remember, Jack always felt safe with the older boy. Always felt that he could tell the older boy anything and everything, but it wasn’t until Jack turned fifteen that he started to feel something. Something he just couldn’t quite put his finger on. Jack was just starting to feel something he never thought possible, it scared him a little in fact it scared him a lot.

To Jack it felt wrong to feel something like this towards his best friend, he felt awkward felt like he couldn’t tell his best friend anything. It wasn’t until Jack had noticed that he had been sat at the kitchen island in Alex’s kitchen day dreaming, “you ok Jay?” the older boy asked. The use of Jack’s nickname made the younger boy look up at his best friend a slight blush coming to his cheeks.

He just nodded and took a sip of his coffee that was now nearly cold. He sighed as he watched the older boy put his mug in the sink and moving back to sit next to him. Jack wanted to tell the older boy what he was thinking even feeling, but he was scared, scared that he would lose his best friend he knew it was too soon to tell the older boy anything he was feeling.

He had talked to Rian about it about what he was feeling but the talk just made him even more confused. Made him even more nervous to even go and tell Alex, all jack wanted to do was to just get it of his chest tell the older boy, cup the older boys cheeks in his hands and just give him a passionate kiss. But Jack knew it wouldn’t really go like that, that kind of thing only happened in a fairy tale and this wasn’t a fairy tale, this was reality.

“Jay talk to me you been quiet since you got here what’s wrong?” Alex asked his voice in a worried tone; Jack knew he wasn’t going to get out of this he knew he had to tell the older boy. Jack sighed lowering his head looking at his empty coffee mug and not realizing he had drunk the cold coffee, “I-I think I’m love lex” he replied using the older boys nick name. He could feel his cheeks burning, as he felt a hand on his shoulder knowing that Alex was their comforting him and just listing to the younger boy.

“Who’s the lucky gal this time? And why are you so down about it?” Alex asked confused as to why Jack is down. It’s not normally like Jack to be down in the dumps when he’s head over heels for someone especially a girl, “I- I” Jack can’t even begin himself to tell Alex , so instead of just saying “I’M in love with you” he opts for a better way, and says. “It’s Angela” Jack says. He feels bad that he just lied to his friend, he feels almost guilty lying to Alex.

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It wasn’t till later that night that Jack found himself at party he was with Rian, and he wasn’t making any sense. Rian just looked at him and just told him to go home and sleep the alcohol off, Jack had agreed. But just as he was leaving he saw Alex with Kyle, he got that feeling inside his chest, that tugging feeling, he saw Alex laughing having a good time even flirting with the older boy.

Jack didn’t want to feel jealous but he just couldn’t help it, he felt the jealousy pouring through him and even though he hasn’t really told Alex he wished he had, wished he had told him what was on his mind get it all off his chest, get it all out in the open. Jack walked towards the older boy, as he got closer he tapped Alex on the shoulder; Alex knew that jack was drunk.

With a sigh Alex turned to Jack, a small smile on the older boy’s lips, "can-we-talk" jack asked through hiccups. Alex nodded just going with what Jack had asked, he followed jack up the stairs of the house they were in, and found an empty quiet room where they could talk.

Jack moved over to the bed and sat down; he stumbled on the way but regained his balance. "Sit down with me" jack asked, and the older boy did; sitting next to him with a confused look on the older boys face. Jack seemed to be less drunk now that he was sitting comfy on the bed with the older boy next to him, but Alex knew that whatever was about to come out of the younger boy’s mouth was just drunken words.

"You know when you asked me if I was ok this morning?" jack asked words slurred as he spoke, Alex nodded remembering what they talked about earlier that day. "Well I wasn't being honest with you" jack replied looking down at his hands in his lap. His fingers playing at the hem of his glamour kills t-shirt, Jack looks at the older boy and he can see that the older boy is confused his eyebrows knighted together as he frowns. “Yeah I remember” Alex replies as he looks at Jack.

Jack looks up to see Alex expression on his a frown on the older boys eyebrows and he was biting his bottom lip, something that jack found a turn on. But jack knew he couldn’t think about that right now he had to tell Alex how he really felt while he still had the guts to. “Well-I...” Jack stops look at the older boy and moves a little closer, “it was you” Jack says as he looks down at his hands that were in his lap.

“What jack I don’t understand it was me what...” but then Alex realised what the younger boy was on about and his eyes soon widened. Alex heart started pounding against his chest it felt like it was about to come out of his chest, “Jack I don’t-“ Alex replied not knowing what to say in shock that what his best friend is trying to say to him.

“I love you Alex I have done ever since I was fifteen and it wasn’t Angela it was you who I’m in love with” Jack said more rushed than he intended it to. Alex sat there mouth gapping open at the older boy and his palms where sweaty and his heart was pounding, so much he felt like he was going have one of his panic attacks. And Alex really didn’t want that not in front of the younger boy, he didn’t want to scare the younger boy while he’s telling him his undying love for the older boy.

Alex sighed he looked down at hinds, not knowing what to say to the younger boy, he didn’t want to hurt his friend he didn’t want to say something that will upset the younger boy. It wasn’t until the older boy was brought out of his thought that Jack was asking him if he was ok and what he was feeling. “I don’t know jack....I just-I need to think” the older boy replies he give Jack a sad smile as he’s standing up from the bed and walking towards the door of the random bedroom.

Jack felt stupid telling the older how he really felt he knew he should off took Rian’s advice and went straight home and slept the alcohol off but no he went and spilled everything he had kept in and he felt stupid, felt like a fool.

He sat there thinking what on earth did he just do, he may have ruined his friendship with the older boy. He may have lost the older boy for good. Jack didn't want to go anywhere he felt tired exhausted; the alcohol making him sleepy his body tired n ached. He moved his body up his back on the head board and his legs curled up; making a foetus potion.

He felt his eye well up tears wanting to escape, they soon fell and he found himself crying to sleep.