A Picture, A Decision, A Friend

Part 6: Disappearing Act & The Talk

As Chelsey and I got into the Mercedes about ready to go Chris hopped in the back.
“Hey I thought you were staying here.” I said. Chris opened a window behind me and lit a cigarette.
“I was but I thought another hand wouldn’t hurt.” he said.
“If you smoke make sure it’s outside by the woods.” Chelsey said. Chris nodded.
“No problem… But that’s if your grandparents aren’t there… If they are I’m hiding on the floor back here.” he said. I laughed.
“Good idea, cause if her grand mom saw you she’d probably flip to high heaven.” I said turning the car on and heading out. I had my iPod plugged in and the GPS set for Chelsey’s house. I had a play list of music on and luckily I had skipped over Daddy’s Lambo. Chris hates that song, and I swore when he was around I’d only play it in the Lambo. During the drive and list of random songs, screaming or randomly making up our own lyrics at the top of our lungs we made it to Deepwater. I turned up her street and parked around the corner. Chelsey got out first to go look around the house. She came back and told me that she saw a note left on the kitchen table saying that everyone would be out the rest of the day, and to be expecting them back around 10. It was around 5 now and we had exactly 5 hours to kill. I turned the car on and reversed around the corner and parked right out front.
“Chris if you wanna smoke a cigarette go out on the back deck there is an ashtray by the pool. If not yet, common in.” I said grabbing buckets. We headed in and to Chelsey’s room.
“Holy, the fuck.” Chris said looking around. “This is a… Small but long ass room.” Chelsey and I laughed. I pulled out one bucket and a top and placed it on the bed.
“Should we start with the movies or video games?” I asked. And Immediately Chelsey grabbed her systems and began to carefully place them in the tub. I began to grab the video games that were visible and place them in the open areas and on top of the systems. She went and grabbed the others she had and did the same as well. After we had filled that tub I found duck tape and put a nice amount on the lid and named that video games. We moved that aside and then began on the movies. We filled the whole tub with all of her movies and Chris named that tub movies/dvds. We began on the next one which ended up being clothes and stuff. Her dog began to bark and get hyper by all of the changes that were happening. Her cat Blinky began to meow up a storm knowing what was going on.
“Chelsey this tub is almost full.” Chris said. She nodded. I thought about the animals.
“Chels, what about your dog and cats?” I looked to her. She stopped what she was doing and looked at me. She didn’t think about that. “Or your gliders.” Chris looked to me wondering about his own cats. I thought about mine. “I’ll be right back.” I ran outside to the car, being I left my phone in my bag. I grabbed my phone and dialed up Bam. He answered.
“Damn done already?” He asked.
“No, there’s a small dilemma.” I said. He got silent.
“Did something happen?” he asked.
“No nothing happened just something dawned on all of us.” I said.
“Which would be?” he asked again. I took a moment.”
“Well you see, Chelsey has a few animals. Out of all the ones here. She is the owner of 6. She has a dog, three cats, and two sugar glider.” I began. “Chris has 2 cats, one that’s still a kitten, and I have 2 cats.” Bam was quiet a moment.
“That’s fine. It’s just we’d have to bring them all in slowly.” he said.
“Yeah I know but, with Chelsey’s situation, it’s like a rush emergency. We already have 3 out of 10 tubs filled and we don’t have any portable kennel things. And she needs a cage for her sugar gliders.” Bam was quiet again. “We didn’t really think about it till her dog and cat started realizing what was going on.”
“Alright, well I have 2 so the cats and dog don’t have to fight. I can get a cage and stuff for her sugar gliders, would it need anything else?” he asked.
“When we’re done here, I’ll call you to let you know to head over. Her family is out till 10 so we have exactly 5 hours to kill. We should be done about 6:30 so before then I’ll call you.”
“Alright and how big does the cage have to be?” he asked.
“About a medium sized cage. I know she’ll want to get more. But make sure the bars are about a good centimeter to a centimeter in a half cause these things are small.” I laughed. He laughed.
“Alright, and I’ll be waiting for your call.” he said.
“Alright, talk to you then!” I said.
“You too.” and we hung up. I grabbed my phone and headed in putting it in my pocket.
“Bam will have everything under control. I told him I’d call around 6 something cause we only have so much time.” she nodded.
“And the animals?” Chris asked.
“He said it’ll all be fine, we’ll just have to bring them in slowly. For now, hers will be an emergency.” She nodded.
“I’ll have to thank him when he get’s here.” she said. We all nodded.
“So how many more did you fill?” I asked.
“2 more full of clothes.” Chris said. I nodded.
“Just in case we have a few more tubs in the trunk.” I said. They nodded and we continued to fill the tubs. It was almost hitting 6:20 and we were almost done, and I knew it was going to take the guys a while to get here. I called Bam and told him it was time. I gave him Chelsey’s address and to find out they were in Pennsville. They were there within minuets. The moving truck wasn’t too big or too small, but just enough room and space for the tubs and everything from her room. We had a few tubs filled with dolls, her board games and everything else we were able to fit. Bam and the guys came in and began to take the bed frame apart and the bed out to the truck. Her TV went into the car with Chris in the backseat as well as the animals. Chelsey wore her pouch for her sugar gliders and Bam had a small kennel for the cats and a bigger one for the dog. Her comforters and pillows were put in other tubs and her collection of dolls were tied into the net that once hung over the bed. Her dressers were left empty, Her TV stand was left behind as well as her old computer or Dinosaur as we called it.
Her collection of snow globes were carefully wrapped in newspapers and put in one of the many extra tubs with allot of other fragile things she had. We made sure to put that in the trunk with a few pillows to keep it from falling. Soon her room and closet looked barren. Nothing left but her dressers and old desk. Everything pretty much empty. When the back of the moving truck was securely locked it was now hitting about 8 o’clock.
“Is everyone ready?” Bam asked. We stood there and I looked to Chelsey.
“Are you ready?” I asked. She took one last look at the house and then looked to me and nodded. I nodded to her and we got into the car.

On the drive back to Bam’s it felt like it took hours when it was only a good 45 minuets. She had Foxy out and she was loving in her hair as usual. Chip was sleeping in the pouch and she didn’t bother him. Bella wanted out of the cage. We let her out and she crawled lovingly onto my lap. Gizmo and Blinky stayed inside the carrier. Tink decided to start barking.
“Shut it Dog!” Chelsey yelled. I smirked and so did Chris. Tink listened to her master and stayed quiet. Bam and the guys were behind us the whole way. It was a very quiet drive and that might’ve been why it felt like it took so long. I parked and put Bella back in the cage with the other two, Chelsey got Foxy back into the pouch with Chipper and we got the animals inside.
“Follow me.” Bam said and continued up the stairs. He stopped at a door and opened it. “This will be your room for now on. But before you can move in, I’m going to deck it out. It should only take 2 days tops.” He grinned. Chelsey walked in and looked around it had been emptied earlier. We could tell. “For now with letting the animals out we’ll do it downstairs. There is a blocked area where they can roam to get used to their surroundings as well to the dog and two cats I have.” Chelsey nodded. We went downstairs and let the cats and dog out in the room.
“Bam did you get the cage for the sugar gliders?” I asked. He nodded.
“Yeah follow me.” he said. We followed him to the Pirate Bar. And in the corner there was more then a medium sized cage. “Being she said you might want to get more I decided to get a bigger cage. I have another one coming for upstairs so they don’t always have to be down here. And I have one for the corner of your room as well.” he said. “If there is anything else they need let me know.”
“Bam… I-… Thank you so much.” was all she could let out. “I don’t know what else to say really. You helped me and yet you barely know me. You helped me with the job and moving out of that house and town… You’re even so kind about my animals as well. I don’t know how to repay you.” she looked to him.
“You can repay me by having fun for now on… And not worrying about your family.” he said. I smiled and so did Chris. Chelsey looked at us.
“And thank you guys.” She pulled us in a hug. We hugged her.
“No problem sis.” I said.
“Of course.” Chris smiled. We pulled out of the hug and looked at each other.
“Now only if we had the rest of the family here.” Chelsey laughed. I giggled.
“Yeah, Bryan and Andrew.” I laughed.
“Bryan the one that was supposed to get Chris up here?” Bam asked. We nodded.
“Yep, that jackass.” Chris laughed.
“And Andrew our oldest brother.” I said.
“Well more like your’s. I barely hang out with him.” Chels said.
“Well he’ll be hanging out with you a hell of allot more.” I said. Bam nodded.
“She has a point.” We all laughed and got our sleeping arrangements set up. Glomb left with his truck after they unpacked it. Louie and Cleveland disappeared doing their own things. Chelsey was on her laptop talking to everyone and Chris was on Bam’s doing the same.

Meanwhile Bam and I were out on the deck drinking and relaxing. There was music playing through the iPod deck.
“So from earlier…” I started.
“I know.” Bam said. “So where should I begin?”
“From the beginning if you want.” I sipped my beer. He nodded and took a hit from his cigarette.
“If only I knew where that was.” It stayed quiet for a bit then he sighed and just began ranting. “I guess it started awhile after Missy’s ex boyfriend was still harassing us really. Rumors that she had been cheating on me which I knew she wasn’t. And we were getting into more arguments everyday. She stopped being fun and enthusiastic about everything. When we would go out or when I was hosting something or doing a job, it was like, she wasn’t there. She had stopped supporting me.” He stopped a moment and took a nice hit off his cigarette and exhaled. Then he stayed quiet again and took a sip of his beer. “I was very upset that… It felt like she just lost all interest in me completely. That she was just unhappy with me. No matter what we did, she never really had fun. We would go on these beautiful vacations, I would do everything with her that she wanted to do first before myself. Because I love her that much.”
He paused a moment. He inhaled deeply a small shuddering of his breath. He sniffled a bit and wiped his eyes. I looked to him, I could see that he was really heartbroken. I reached my hand over and put it on his leg. He looked to me still sniffling. His blue eyes glassed over. I gently massaged his knee and gave a small grin. He tired to give one back. I looked out to the woods, and he did too. The sun was almost completely gone. The moon out.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” I asked absent mindedly. I could feel his eyes back on me. I turned to him and I was right. He had wiped his face and nodded. He put out his cigarette and lit another one. I did the same. I picked up my beer, holding that and my cigarette in one hand. Bam was already doing that and I grabbed his hand. I wanted to make sure he was comforted. His hand entwined with mine as we walked about.
We walked around in silence, and made it to the ramps and Fast Eddies. We walked up and sat on the ramp and sipped our beers and we stayed quiet. There was a nice breeze flowing through the woods. I looked to Bam who seemed more relaxed then before. But before I could as him if he wanted to continue he got up.
“You want another beer? There’s more inside.” He said getting up. I looked to him.
“Yeah sure.” I said finishing the rest of mine and handing it to him. He headed inside and I began to hum a song. I don’t know why but, Can’t Hold On by Shiloh just popped into my head. I began to gently sing it aloud. I didn’t hear Bam coming. “If you could save me now? Would I want you too? What will it take this time? To break away, forget your face and everything you said. And I can‘t hold onto you anymore.”
“Uh, here’s your beer.” he said setting it next to me. I noticed it was already open.
“Kiitos.” Thank you. I said. He nodded then sat back down next to me. He took a nice gulp and put down the can and took a nice deep breath.
“That was the reason I started drinking and taking pills.” he started again. I looked to him. “Because I thought well, if I’m going to lose her, what’s the point anymore. I could tell she was debating a divorce. Her mother was constantly telling her she was better off with another guy… For awhile, I believed that. For the longest time during the times I was binging, I thought she deserved someone else. Then when she found me that one day, I was happy… So fucking happy she called the ambulance. I then thought, maybe, maybe we had a chance to save it. That she still loved me.” he stopped and took a hit off his cigarette and exhaled to continue. “I had a Psychiatrist tell me that it would be better if we were just separated.
“At first I thought he meant divorce. I held my composure from flipping out. But when he saw the fear not only in my eyes but Missy’s. He said not a divorce, just some time apart. He said we could talk it out and so we did. He left the room and we spoke about it. Prior to this she complained that I never really gave her attention, and that the light was always on me. Which… Was true but I went off about how I tried my hardest to give her things, to do stuff with her and I guess that just wasn’t enough. So we spoke about it and thought it out and decided to do that. A separation. She now lives in another town, I see her once a week.” It got quiet again. I looked at him and nodded. “So yeah, that’s pretty much it.” he looked down then back up to the sky. I looked back up to the sky too. The moon was full it was a nice night.
I took a nice hit off my cigarette. Just thinking about it, and everything. He was obviously unhappy without her. But of course his ego is what’s hurting him more. I wanted to find the right words before he continued about the whole Tammy thing but, I decided to wait it out.
“Tammy and I though, is a very different story.” he began. I finally exhaled letting the smoke crawl around my cheeks. I was asphyxiated on something but I was still listening to him. He looked to me. “You know, I don’t know why, but you look sexy when you’re concentrated on something. Especially when you’re smoking.” I coughed exhaling and laughed.
“Dude. Don’t. Say. That. Again.” I said in between coughs. He laughed a genuine laugh for once and gently patted my back to help. I finally caught my breath. Taking a nice gulp from my beer, I looked at him and he had a big grin on his face. I couldn’t help but to giggle and blush at it. I shook my head and looked to him again and he looked back out to the sky.
“SO! Tammy, I met her at my bar actually.” he yet again began. I looked to him. “Her and her daughter were there. It was an all ages night. And she just walked right up to me with this, confidence. I thought it was sexy. Her daughter by the way is around your age.” I nodded.
“I know, I listen to Radio Bam remember.” I half grinned. He nodded knowing I did.
“True, true. Well, we spoke for a bit, and I bought her a drink and we just had a really good conversation. Later that night we all headed back to my house and she came. A few days later we were dating. It had been a month since the separation with Missy. We were told we could see other people. That’s when I started to date Tammy. But you listen to Radio Bam so you know pretty much how that is. But now you see it off of that. What it’s like on and off the Radio and the photos. She’s jealous. She was extremely jealous of the girl I dated in California. And being we’ve been hanging out she’s just been in complete bitch mode. I’m waiting for her to find out that you and your friends moved in. I mean she sleeps here but she hasn’t moved in. I won’t allow it.” I nodded.
“Well it is your decision. And your home. You’re awesome just helping my friends and I out. Really, I was expecting the asshole you more then anything.” I let out a laugh admitting. “You always perceive yourself as that. At least in most of the publics eye. But really you’re just a man. You want to protect your image but it’s also your personality. And your ego… No offence.”
“None taken.” he said. “But you are right… I am just a man. I have feelings but, I’m afraid of letting them out. But, heh, I don’t know why, I can’t believe I just told you everything from what happen to how I feel. But, there is just something about you. You’re so calm, collected. Your energy is just… I can’t explain it.” he said.
“I can’t tell you how much I get that.” I had my beer in my hand fiddling with it, finally taking a gulp.
“Can I admit something to you?” he asked. I looked to him and nodded.
“I’ll just say it all now. If you ever want to talk to me about anything, I’ll be here. You can tell me anything, and it’ll stay only between us, unless there is another who also knows then we will keep it between only whoever knows. I won’t talk about it outside of that. Kay?” I asked. He nodded.
“Well one, don’t tell anyone I got all emotional with you. And I know you won’t. Two, will you help me break it off with Tammy? And three, I admit, I never thought that ya know… We would’ve gotten along so well. And I’m actually really glad I met you. You’re a wonderful person, friendly, though in a way like Dunn, you keep to yourself.” he began another rant.
“Well I have this in common with Dunn. I hate people in general besides those whom I know and can trust, and I mostly like to drink by myself.” I laugh. He giggled.
“Yeah, but there’s something else beside that. Your personality, it’s just so beautiful. I really wonder how you’re still single.” he said. I looked down not really liking the subject.
“Well for opening up to me. I’ll repay you and open up to you a bit.” I said. He nodded. Turning his full attention to me. I finished my beer and wanted another. I knew I was going to need it. “First… Another beer.” I said. Bam laughed and finished his and got up taking both cans. He returned and had 4 cans with him. 2 for me and 2 for him. I cracked one open and took a good gulp and just started. “Well, I was in a relationship. But, we decided to be friends. I knew it was coming, but I understood. It’s not like he just felt we were more friends or more family or anything, we were just so stressed about stuff with trying to find a job and get in school that, it stressed us both out more about each other. But we just kind of stopped talking. I mean we do still talk but it’s like, he completely forgot. It hurts but I’m slowly getting out of it. I’m more then half way there.
“Thing that sucks, neither of us have started school. He was lucky to find a job. But I’m still sitting there like, ‘Oh congrats, I’m happy for you.’ ‘Do you know a few places that might be hiring?’ ‘Possibly get me a job?’ And of course… Nope.” I looked down. “I miss him I’ll admit. But I’m just afraid that ya know. I’ll find someone and he’ll be back and he won’t have me. I think I’m more afraid that, I’d be happier with someone else.” I shook that thought. “I guess I’m just in fear.”
“You love him. You still do. Have you told him?”
“That’s the hard part. I don’t want to say it and him shut me straight into the friend zone. I’m just trying to be content in it as it is.” I said. He nodded.
“I understand that.” he took a gulp of his beer. We sat there quiet for a few minuets and just drank both beers.
Finally the wind began to pick up and it was getting cold. Bam got up.
“Let’s go in, there’s blankets and more beer.” He said holding two empty cans. I giggled and got up and followed him in. My legs that were warm were hit with cold fast and I finally realized what he meant. We rushed in and sat on the bed and got warm. Under our own blanket and sipping beer and smoking. After our 6th can we were giggling and just telling stories.

“So Novak was like ‘The fuck Bam! I don’t even walk in for 5 mother fucking seconds and I’m half naked, wet and fucking cold, and now I need a new pack of cigarettes!’” Bam laughed. I was already laying on the bed laughing so hard. “Okay you tell one!” He was excited. I had to catch my breath first. When I finally did I began on a very old story.
“Alright, so Chris and I were hanging out. We were playing video games and pretty much had a game day. Later that night, he passed out really early cause when we started the Game day it was actually night the night before. Well Our friends Bryan and Matt Wood came over to see if we wanted to go out and do the usual shenanigans but I was tired and declined. I had pointed out that Chris was passed out like a motherfucker and just out of nowhere Wood plops his dick out and in Chris’ face.” I started to laugh. “W-When Bryan finally looked over to see what Wood did, just as he did, Chris woke up screamed fell out of the bed and got back in yelling ‘Fucking asshole! I’m sleeping.’ Not realizing what it was.” Bam was laughing so hard that I started to laugh with him.
“OH MY GOD!” He yelled aloud. “Oh fucking god! I just thought… W-what if, it was Frantz’s dick.” He laughed harder loosing his breath. I fell over laughing so hard I couldn’t breath myself.
Finally we caught our breaths and drank some more beer. We were pretty intoxicated and were laughing at everything at this point. We were laying down on the bed now we were looking up at the ceiling the lights pretty.
“It’s not as beautiful.” Bam said. I looked to him. “The stars are more beautiful then these.” He mentioned to the lights. I nodded and agreed.
“Yeah…” I turned and laid on my side, my eyes shut. I felt Bam shift on the bed, too. I hadn’t thought of it. But then his lips clashed to mine. His hand on my side. The alcohol fogging my mind, I had kissed him back, placing a hand on his chest. After a moment he started to lick and nibble my lip. We began making out our tongues entwined tasting each other. He tasted sweet, with the taste of alcohol and tobacco. He then shifted and was now on top of me, my hands had found their way around his neck. His hand on my hip sliding down my leg his other hand keeping him leveraged. One of my hands had entangled in his hair. His hand went from my leg to my face then entangled in my hair pushing my beanie off. He was now grinding on me as well, and he grunted. It felt good, and I wanted it but then my mind clicked. I could feel myself sobering up.
The fogginess had finally left, my conciseness finally coming back. I knew if anything were to happen, it’d turn into the same shit he’s been through before. And I didn’t want to jeopardize the friendship we had only just begun. I stopped kissing him and pulled away and gently pushed him off. He pulled back. He shook his head placing a hand to his face.
“I-I’m sorry…” He said. I shook my head too.
“No, it’s fine. We’ve been drinking, and haven’t had anything to eat.” I said. Which it was that.
“I know but still. I shouldn’t have pushed myself onto you. I mean I just strew my heart out to you, and told you how I feel about my wife. How I want her and here I am, drunk and trying to…” he stopped himself. After letting what just happen settle, I moved over to Bam and held him.
“Shh, I know, and you’re just upset. Your defenses are just up and you can’t help it.” I said consoling him. I kissed his head and rubbed his back. “I’m not blaming you. But how about this, let’s head back, take some medicine so we don’t wake up with hangovers and head to sleep. Everyone’s either asleep or wondering where we are. Just relax alright.” He nodded and just grabbed a hold of me. He had me in a hug.
“I don’t get how you put up with this. I don’t get how you’re okay with it. But, I’m glad. Thank you.” I nodded and just hugged him.
“There is a lot that you have yet to learn of me Bam… But in time you will learn about it.” I said consoling him still. He nodded.
“You are an extraordinary girl. And when you are ready to talk to me, I’ll be here to listen.” he said. I nodded.
“Kiitos Bam. Now let’s get back to the house.” I said. He composed himself and got up tossing the trash out and we headed back to the house. When we got back everyone was doing their own thing. Chris on Skype, Chelsey taking care of the Gliders, and Cleveland and Louie having a petty battle as usual. Bam went his own way after telling me to meet him in his room later. It was only 9 o’clock, and we didn’t have any plans for the rest of the night. And tomorrow, we will only know when it comes.

It was hitting midnight and we were all getting quite tired. Chelsey went to her room, and Chris passed out on the couch like he always has. I went to meet up with Bam in his room again for the night. Chris’ room and my room wouldn’t be done for the next few days. I knocked on his door gently.
“Come in.” he called. I pushed the door open and saw him standing by the window. I stood a moment after shutting the door behind me. I pushed myself to walk over to him and pull him into a hug. He really needed it. He grabbed a hold of me and hugged tightly. “Tomorrow…” he stopped.
“Tomorrow what?” I asked. He was quite a second.
“Tomorrow, I’m telling Tammy… It’s done. I’m done.” he said with determination in his voice. “I want… No… Need my wife.” I grinned to him and nodded.
“Yes.” I smiled pulling away. “Common’ lets get to sleep.” He nodded a grin on his face. Everything that was in the house. The sense of despair, the heaviness of an aching heart. It felt as if it was all finally lifting.