Just Fake It For Me

Another awesome set was finished and Alex’s chest was heaving, breathless and body soaked with sweat. This set was extra special because it was his birthday, when he woke up that day he can’t even believed that he just turned 23, wow! How time flies ei?

Everyone gathered on their bus, people from A Rocket To The Moon and City Comma State was all present, ready to get smashed and be fuckin’ wasted. Even though they were staying that night in a Hotel, they decided to make the party in the bus to avoid paying some serious damages they may inflict.

The party went to a full swing in a matter of minutes. Alex was all over the place talking to all people he could get hold of, giving hugs and wet kisses on the cheeks. He was so happy that everyone was there to celebrate with him. The hours have passed like a hurricane, leaving a crazy aftermath. Matt will surely get pissed in the morning but Alex didn’t care of it much. He’s in cloud nine and got Jack beside him, who was trying so hard to keep Alex steady as he was assisting him to their hotel room.

As Jack was fumbling with the key, a glint passed through Alex’s eyes, he was thinking all day how he would asked Jack for a certain gift that he want from the younger boy not that he’s not happy with what Jack had given him already.

When Jack finally succeeded in opening their room, he looked at Alex and sort of gave him a looked that says – what the fuck are you planning Gaskarth – which made Alex looked away, he wasn’t sure what was his reaction that made Jack flinched but he wished it didn’t give away his plans.

“Erm,… I think we should go in now, it’s cold out here.” Jack said feeling the tension that’s building up as the minutes go by and they’re standing awkwardly outside the open door.

Alex just nodded not trusting his voice at the moment.

When Jack closed the door after Alex went in, he moved to his bed but was stopped by the hand that gripped his wrist tightly, and he sighed at this, realizing that he was holding his breath all along.

“What do you want bro?” he said a little annoyed because he already wanted to lay in the bed that had his name written all over it. It’s been long since he had a comfortable bed to sleep on and his fucker of a friend was keeping him from it.

“Seriously Alex, I’m tired and just want to rot in my bed all day since you planned to add an hour in our set.”

“I… I’m… J-jack…” Alex said, lost for words, he couldn’t just blurt out that he wanted his best friend to bone him as a birthday gift, could he?

“Spit it out man, I really want to sleep now.” Jack’s quite irritated by now as he tried to let his wrist go but Alex grip just tightened.

Alex just looked at him with desperation and longing in his eyes, he kinda hope that Jack could take the hint. But that would be hopeless of course, as Jack just stared back at him with a blank expression.

“If you’ll just stare at me all night, can you do that while I sleep?” Jack said sarcastically. He had been wary of his friend’s attitude all day. He had started a question but always dismissed it before he could even make his point across, and duh, Jack couldn’t just decode all that, he didn’t go to college for fuck’s sake. But Alex just kept staring at him, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t just go for it.

“Words Gaskarth, I couldn’t just put all these pieces together like a fuckin’ puzzle, you know. If you want to tell me something, just do it bro.” he tried again, seeing that Alex was almost close to tears, and he didn’t wanna freak out, but what the hell?!

“J-jack… I… I…”

“Uh! Alex seriously man, speak up!” Jack glared and shouted at him, he didn’t even have the time nor the patience for this if Alex keeps on stuttering and not making any sense at all.

“I.. I want you Jack…” he whispered.

“What?” Jack said louder than he should have, getting really annoyed by Alex’s demeanor.

“I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME!” Alex screamed back but slapped his mouth after, he closed his eyes and a tear fell down his slightly pink tinted cheek. Good going Gaskarth, you just fucked up the best friendship you ever had. He couldn’t believe he just said that. If only he could just strangled himself with the scarf he’s wearing now, that would really help.

He couldn’t take it back, he couldn’t even disguise it as a joke because really, there’s a big part of him that wanted to know what would be Jack’s reaction or if he would give Alex what he wants.

Jack just stood there, jaw dropped to the floor and couldn’t even bring himself to shut it close, he was speechless to say the least.

Alex felt like a century had gone by, but seriously it was just a few minutes, Jack would totally hate him after what he said, he let go of Jack’s wrist, seeing that he was still holding onto it tightly.

He heard Jack swallowed hard and was mumbling something, he gathered all his courage to look up at him and he saw Jack staring at him with this confused but fond look on his face.

“Please tell me that you’re just kidding Alex, cause there is no way I ever thought that you are into guys, especially me bro. Too much Jager perhaps?” Jack said trying so hard to lighten the mood and just pushing what just happened in the darkest corners of his mind. Alex couldn’t be serious, right?

Alex sighed, he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t just keep this façade anymore. He was, no, he is in love with Jack, he realized that the night they were trying to convince their fans, that no, Jalex is not real.

“I… I w-wasn’t joking about it Jack” he said almost inaudibly but Jack managed to catch his words. He heard the honesty in his words, but what the fuck?!

“Are you seriously asking me to bang you Gaskarth? What the fuck?!” Jack exclaimed, he combed his fingers through his hair just to have something to do than just clenched them at his sides. He walked to his bed and sat on the edge, trying to make sense of what was happening.

Alex saw that Jack was in a helpless state and he didn’t want to torment his friend like this, so he walked the distance between them and dropped to his knees in front of Jack, who was fisting his hair out of frustration.

“Jack I’m sorry.” Alex started, talking quietly. Afraid to break the silence of the room as their breathing, the only evidence that there were in fact people in it.

“You don’t have to, you know. I was just… I don’t know.” He trailed off.

In all honesty Alex didn’t really know. When he was on high because of alcohol intoxication, he was so confident that he can do it, that he can convince Jack to sleep with him. But now that the high surpassed and now that he’s facing his beautiful friend and staring at those adorable eyes, he felt bad. The confusion and frustration in Jack’s eyes was slowly breaking him.

“Alex, Lex, I… I really don’t know too. But if you want to, I mean for your birthday,.. I… maybe I can.” Jack was unsure but the hurt of rejection that he saw in Alex’s eyes just made his frustration grew a thousand times.

He wanted to make Alex happy, he loved him but clearly not the way Alex intended it to be. He loved him like a brother. But maybe, just maybe it was more. He really didn’t want to think beyond that. If he’s going to do this, it’s for Alex. After all it’s just one time. Just to take away that hurt in Alex’s lovely face and to bring back that jubilant spark in his eyes. Maybe tomorrow they’ll forget about it or maybe just laugh it off. Maybe.

Jack smiled a little as he saw Alex face lighten up a bit as he heard the words, but the hesitation was still clearly visible, but the hurt faded nonetheless.

“Alex, I don’t know what will happen, I… I really have no i-”

Jack cut off his words as Alex face slowly inched closer to him, his breath hitched at the effect of Alex’s breath that flickered his face. He felt his soft hands cupped his cheeks, he leaned into the touch and slowly slid his eyes close. Then Alex tentatively closed the gap between their lips. It was tender and soft, like a wave of the ocean gently touching the shore, and then he felt Alex pulled away slightly.

He opened his eyes and looked at Alex, gently searching his face and he ended looking at his eyes. He saw desperation and longing into them but beyond that he saw the glimmer of want and was it fondness that expressed love? Was Alex in love with him? He was sort of terrified but still somewhat hopeful.

Wait. What?

Did he feel the same? Where are all these emotions that slowly drowning him come from? But he shook those thoughts away, which Alex caught and thought that Jack didn’t want this after all.

He sighed which ended up as a quiet sob. Jack quickly snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Alex who was looking more desperate than before, the look of hurt and rejection came back at full force.

Then what he heard the next was enough to tug at his heart and feel it crumble, “J-jack… Just fake it for me.”