Let The Walls Break Down

-October 22, 2019-

Today was my 30th birthday. John turned 31 in August and Holden turned eight last month. My oh my how time flies.

“Mommy! Where’s my blue shirt?!” Jenna yelled from the top of the stairs.

“I haven’t washed anything all week! Wear something else!”

“But Mommy! I neeeeeeed it!!!”

“I’m sorry Jenna, but school starts in half an hour and I don’t have time to wash it right now!”

Holden was sitting in the kitchen quietly eating a toaster strudel and watching cartoons. “Mom?”

“Yes, Dear?” I sighed and stood on the other side of the bar.

“When’s Dad coming home?”

“He should be home by the time you guys get home,” I said, smiled, and took a bite of a carrot.

“Really?” His face lit up and I nodded. “I’m used to him not coming home now. It doesn’t bother me anymore.”

He broke my heart. “I know it’s tough, kid. And trust me, I’d love for all of us to go on tour with him.”

“Can we?”

“Yeah right, maybe after you graduate. I can’t just take you kids away from school.”

“Of course you can, Mom…” He said and rolled his eyes. “Mrs. Parker wouldn’t mind. She doesn’t like me.”

“And what makes you say that?”

“She told me,” he said nonchalantly. “Which reminds me, Open House is Thursday. Do you think you and Dad can come?”

“Uh let me think, yes!” I ruffled his hair and he laughed. “Go get in the car if you’re ready.” I took his plate and put it in the sink then called my other children downstairs. “Jenna Riley! Jakob Chandler! Hailey Rae! Get in the car right now or you’re going to be late for school!”

John got his wish. Well, his bargain wish. He got his four kids. It just so happened, the last pregnancy I had was twins, resulting in Jakob and Hailey. They’re identical twins but since one’s a boy and one’s a girl, it’s easy to tell them apart. They’ll be five next month and I started them in school early so they can graduate when they’re 17. John still wanted two more kids, which wasn’t happening. Four was enough for me, especially when three of them were 4 and 6.

I put my degree in music engineering to good use four years ago and started working with John and the rest of the band to produce two of their albums, but I only work for them. The rest of the time when they’re not recording I’m here taking care of the kids.

Jenna came downstairs then and I gave her a Pop tart on her way out the door and I did the same for Hailey, then Jakob. Within five minutes we were all piled into my Range Rover and on the way to school. I can’t believe I was 30 and already have four kids all aged 8 and under. After I kissed them all and sent them out of the car and into the school, I went to my parents’.

“Holly, Sweetie! Happy birthday!” My mom said and gave me a hug.

“My kids forgot it was my birthday,” I said and laughed. “It’s okay though, I don’t want to get any older than I already am.”

She rolled her eyes at me and put her hands on her hips. “I can’t believe I’m 55 either. You’re just worrying about 30! Ha!”

“Dang is that all you are?” She rolled her eyes again and didn’t respond but decided to change the subject.

“When’s John coming home?”

“Today,” I said and ate a biscuit that was on the counter. “He’s been gone for almost two months.”

“Man, I bet you’re about to explode!”

“Mom! Come on!”

“What? I have a husband too!”

I laughed. “Oh Lord, Mother.”

I drove back home in a daze just thinking about the past eleven years of my life with John and how wonderful they’ve been. Except that one year of darkness…anyway. I told myself I wouldn’t think about that time in my life anymore. It’s over and done with. When I entered the house, I turned around to lock the door behind me and sighed. I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the door and when I turned around John’s hands were on me and his lips were on mine.

“Happy birthday,” he said between kisses and taking off his jacket.

“Are you my present?” I asked and took off his shirt.

He smiled and picked me up. “You have to unwrap me.”

“Do you have your British flag speedo on again?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. You’ll have to see.”

“You didn’t hold back on any fun.” He ran upstairs with me in his arms, taking two steps at a time. “You really missed me didn’t you?”

He nodded and kissed me again before I went sailing through the air and landing on the bed.

****

“Let’s have another baby,” John said as he was propping himself up next to me and lightly stroking my arm with his other hand.

“Uh, no.”

“Whyyyyy?” He whined.

“Because. We have enough kids as it is. Why do you want more?”

“I need to be surrounded by family.”

“Aren’t we enough?” I rolled on top of him and ran my fingers through his hair. “Do we not satisfy your wants?”

“You do, you do, but…just two more?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop right there. I cannot handle six kids on my own.”

He looked at me with a blank expression. “…I’m here.”

“Half the time.”

“I’ll quit.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t. You know me too well. Well our parents can help…”

“But what’s the point of having kids if we’re not going to raise them together?”

“Is that why you don’t want anymore? I’m not here?”

“No, I just don’t want to birth six children.”

“I’ll do it for you.”

“Then I’ll be fine with it.”

He stroked my face then kissed me. “You know, I have been gone for almost two months…” He said and his hand started wandering.

“You don’t need to tell me twice,” I said and pulled him on top of me.

****

After John and I’s morning escapade, everyone in The Maine decided to come over and cook me lunch. Jared came with his wife of two years, Angie, and their 11-month-old daughter Corinne; Kennedy came by himself because he was already married and divorced; Garrett brought his model girlfriend, Ina, whom he started dating three years ago and was expecting a baby girl with due in early March; and Pat brought his three year old son, Liam. I didn’t want to bring up his crazy ex-girlfriend slash baby mama.

“Man, everyone has someone except me,” Kennedy said as he sat at the bar in the kitchen.

“Kenny, she was a bitch,” John said and poured himself some whiskey.

“Yeah she was, wasn’t she… Tried to take my money too…”

I laughed and stole a sip of John’s whiskey. “Oh, by the way Holly, happy birthday,” Garrett said after an awkward silence then picked Liam up and put him on the counter and I messed with his hair as he giggled.

“HOLLY NICOLE O’CALLAGHAN!” I heard being yelled throughout the house and Maria walked in the room with Austin and two of their three children (Skye was at school, in the same grade as Jakob and Hailey): Caleb, who was three, and Kaylee, who just turned two. She walked over to me and hugged me then Eric walked in with his wife Julianne and their twin boys Alex and Andrew who just turned four. Both of my girls were in love with the twins. Eric and Maria were on good terms now that they’ve found people they’re truly happy and in love with, kind of like what happened with Rian and me.

I was finally at peace. These people were my family; my large, extended family. In total, there were eleven children, about to be twelve. Six boys and five, almost six, girls.

After lunch for 18 people, everyone started gradually leaving and it was time to get the kids from school. “I miss them,” John said as we sat in front of the school.

“They miss you too. Guess what Holden said to me this morning.”

“What’s that?”

“He said he’s used to you not coming home and it doesn’t bother him anymore.”

“…I don’t know how I feel about that. I never thought it would be this hard, having kids and leaving all the time…Come on tour with me.”

“During the summer when they get older maybe. Let’s face it; your music doesn’t really have kid friendly lyrics.”

“I like the word fuck.”

I laughed. “I know you do.” He got out of the driver seat and came over to my side and opened the door and we got out and leaned against the car. He was wearing his old Ray Bans and still looked as good as ever. He was just one of those people that look beautiful no matter what age they’re at. I held his hand and he looked down at me and smiled and I could have melted. It was amazing how nothing changed between us after all these years.

Suddenly the bell rang and moments later, kids were running out every which way then our four walked out slowly and once they saw John and I, they started running. “DADDY!” they screamed and jumped into his arms. I thought it was funny how middle age women were staring at us, envying our youth. That made me feel good. Jenna and Hailey were hanging onto John and it was the most adorable thing.

John and our kids made me the way I am today and I wouldn’t change anything. What the heck, maybe I'll pop out a few more kids.

theend.