Let The Walls Break Down

-August 3, 2008-

The show tonight was over and we had an off day tomorrow to celebrate John's birthday. Everyone in Metro Station, Boys Like Girls, and Good Charlotte were hanging out with us as well. We were staying in this hotel for the night and Mason and Paul decided it would be a good idea to go swimming. I didn't feel so alone anymore because Trace's girlfriend Hanna joined us and we hung out when the guys were being guys. Billy and Paul from Good Charlotte cannonballed in first and splashed Benji and Joel, who was on the phone with Nicole, whom he had a baby girl with early this year. Benji just looked annoyed and went inside and Joel smiled and said goodbye to Nicole and jumped in after Billy and Paul. Mason was lounging by the hot tub but jumped off the diving board, disrupting Trace and Hanna's make out session. As much as I loved Hanna, she was very desperate. Jared kept his shirt on the whole time due to previous complaints and Pat cannonballed his lanky self while Gare and Kenny were entertaining a few girls in the hot tub. I was sitting on the edge and John swam over to me and put his hand on my leg.

"Why aren't you swimming?" he asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Guess I really don't feel like it."

"Oh." He looked up at me several times with a smug grin. And then he pulled me in the water and kissed me. "Guess what?"

"I'm in the water."

He chuckled. "We want you to be our merch person for the next tour."

"We as in...all of you guys or just you?"

"Mostly me, but we all enjoy having you here." He kissed me again. "Our next tour starts in October. Will that interfere with your online classes?"

"Of course. But it's worth it. Who are you touring with this time?"

"Mayday Parade and Every Avenue."

"Awesome, Mayday's pretty cool. I haven't heard Every Avenue that much."

"They're alright. I think they're the openers now." He got this excited look on his face. He looked so cute.

"You're so ugly," I smiled.

"You're uglier," he said and splashed me.

"And you're a child!" I said splashing back.

"I'm older than you!" And he once again dunked my head in the water.

We got out of the pool at around 2 in the morning and John put this giant towl around us as we got in the elevator. "Happy birthday, old man."

"I know I'm so old. Oh my God...I'm 20. I am old!" I laughed and gave him a hug. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on top of my head. "Are you going to stay in my room tonight?"

I looked up at him and our green eyes met each others. "Why wouldn't I? I sleep next to you every night anyway."

He shrugged. "I don't know...I guess I thought you wanted to share a room with Hanna or Pat because you didn't feel comfortable in the same room as me."

"I don't know why I wouldn't be comfortable with you. You won't leave me alone."

"That's it. You're getting it." The elevator doors opened and he picked me up and threw me on his shoulder and ran down the hallway to his room. I was screaming and beating on his back the entire time and once we got in the room he tossed me onto one of the beds and kissed me for a long time. He went in the bathroom and had some dry clothes on when he came back out. "Goodnight, babe." He layed on the other bed while I got up to change my clothes. I saw John's plaid shirt in his open suitcase and I put it on with some shorts and layed in my bed for about 10 seconds before I realized I couldn't go to sleep. I switched beds and put my arm around him and he turned around to face me. "I love you, Holly." He moved his nose against mine and I fit my head in the space between his jaw and shoulder and kissed his neck.

"I love you, John."

The next morning in the car, I got a text from Maria. 'Holly, Rian wants to talk to you.'

'What's stopping him?'

My next text was from him, not Maria. 'Hey.'

'Hey? That's all you have to say?'

'I can explain everything.'

'I bet.'

'In October, I'll tell you anything you want.'

I stopped replying to him because he was making me angry and John could tell.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just this weird guy I used to like is being an asshole."

I cuddled with him as he pressed his lips to my forehead. How did I get here? With this guy I used to like and then hated for a long time and now I was in love with him. The rest of the tour we made our way up the east coast and we were finally at the last show in Baltimore. I was setting up my merch table for the last time until October. Metro Station and Boys Like Girls' merch guys had become my best friends and I would miss them greatly. I even got on good terms with Bryan and Paul from BLG and Mason and Blake from Metro Station. And I would miss Hanna most of all - the only girl on tour besides me. I think Boys Like Girls was filming a DVD throughout the tour. I sold out of everything at tonight's show so I didn't have to pack up anything. I helped Kenny and Pat load their equipment while the rest of them went to go sign autographs. I think I learned to contain my jealousy. Maybe. Around 11 pm everyone from all the bands met up around Boys Like Girls' bus to wrap up an amazing tour. After Martin, Joel, Trace, and John said words of wisdom, we all broke into the fits and the sidewalk turned crazy. There was bro-hugs everywhere and 'See you later's and for me, kisses. I really didn't want to go back to Wisconsin, and I realized I didn't have to.

"Holly, can I talk to you?" John said and pulled me to the side. I followed without saying anything. "Pat said it would be okay if you stayed with him for a while. And I'd really like for you to consider it. I mean, I know we're going to see each other in a couple of months, but wouldn't it be better if you just stayed with us until then? And I want to take you places without the worry that I'll have press or sound check or whatever. I really want you to come live in Arizona for a while."

"I'd love to, I mean, I can bring college with me anywhere I go, and I'd really like to know you without the stress of tour. Without sleeping in the back of a van with a bag getting personal with me. I'll just have to talk it over with my parentals."

He had this permanent smile on his face that started to creep me out. He picked me up and twirled me around like he just asked me to marry him...I know. Weirdo. We got in the van for the last time and started the drive to Wisconsin.