Shooting Love in Real Time.

The next few days were a blur. I went to class, I went home, I studied and I slept. I didn’t have the guts to face Alex and tell him what Jodie had told me, and judging by the radio silence, Marissa didn’t either. A familiar feeling was creeping back into my stomach when I saw Alex’s car pull into Marissa’s driveway each night. I yearned for him to be coming back here, so I could talk to him about everything that had happened. The last month had been painful, but I’d had nothing to deal with other than our separation. But now there was something big on my radar, and the only person I wanted to share it with was him; my best friend.
It was Friday, and officially December, before it hit me that something had changed. I’d spent most of the week in the library, finishing up next semester’s class choices and assignments I had due. I hadn’t seen James since the incident at my house and I hadn’t felt any inclination to speak to him either. I was leaving campus for the day, one more assignment left to complete and I was nearly finished. That meant that I could quite reasonably only spend one more day on campus between now and New Year; it was a glorious feeling. People were staring at me as I walked by, whispering into each other’s ears. It didn’t feel like anything new to me, so I brushed it off, figuring I was imagining things anyway. As usual, flyers were littering the ground and I paid them no mind, focusing on getting back to my car and home to think things over once again. It wasn’t until I hit the parking lot that I started to notice anything was really wrong.
Stopping people, handing out flyers as they walked by, was James.
“Oh, Holly! Glad you could make it,” he sneered.
“What do you want?” I sighed. I knew that whatever he was doing, it wasn’t anything good. Knowing he wasn’t in any of my classes next semester, however, made me care very little about what he had to say or do.
“I just thought you’d like one of my flyers is all.” He shoved one into my hand before I could refuse. From it shone up my face and my full name. Well, I guess you could say it was my face, but really it was only half of it, the other half of the picture was of Alex. It was a picture of the two of us kissing, one I had hung up in my living room. This had to have been something he had copied before we had fallen out. Had he planned this?
“What the fuck is this?” I seethed, pushing it back into his hand.
“Oh, you mean you don’t like it? Here, what about this one?” The next flyer he handed me was a little different, though only by means of who it was about. This one was Marissa and Jack.
“You sick, pathetic little boy,” I snarled. “Is this was 19-year-olds do for fun around here? Ruin people’s lives? This has absolutely nothing to do with you. Stop it now.” My hands were shaking with anger. I couldn’t believe this. I could handle him ruining my privacy, but Marissa’s? Jack’s? Alex’s? That was a step too far.
“But you made it everything to do with me, Jasey. You brought me into this little world of yours, and then humiliated me in front of everyone. What you’re feeling now is what I felt like last week.”
“And that makes it valid?” I screamed. “This isn’t my life you’re ruining here, it’s everybody else’s. Do you think I care who knows about me and Alex?” Students were now starting to turn and stare at me and James, something which only made him grin wider. I was playing into his hands and doing just what he had expected.
But he wasn’t going to win this one. I wasn’t humiliating myself, I was freeing myself. So what if people knew? I’d hear a few turns of the gossip mill, a few questions about what All Time Low are really like, and then… people would forget. I’d become another face in the crowd and no one would care anymore. They’d get what they needed and leave. I was beginning to remember just who Jasey Rae really was. The girl who turned the gossip mill more times than she could count and never once gave a damn.
“Do you guys want the gossip? James Arndale seems to think it’s all something you should know, so listen up. My name is Holly Jasey Rae, and I used to date Alex Gaskarth. Yes, he wrote songs about me. Yes, Jasey Rae was a breakup song about me, and there are plenty more of them too. Does that satisfy everyone’s curiosity sufficiently? Well, good. Now leave my friends out of it.”
I pushed James’ stack of flyers to the floor and shoved him out of my way, storming to my car and not looking back.