Tough Guy

Warning: Sexually explicit content

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I heard Matt cursing from the kitchen, “FUCK! Brian, come here!”

I hurried in to find him holding his bleeding hand over the sink and frowned, “Where’s your first aid kit?”

“Drawer by the stove, in the back.” He hissed out, running cold water over his hand.

I ripped off several paper towels to press to his hand and stop the flow of blood, “What did you do?”

“I tore it open on the fly wheel of that piece of shit I call a car.” He grumbled and allowed me to press harder on it.

I groaned, “Dude, I told you to let me get done with what I was doing and I’d come help you.”

“I know but I was hoping to ride in it before we left out tomorrow.” He sighed, “Okay, shit . . .pour some peroxide on it because I’m not getting infected.”

I eyed the cut, which already looked mean streaking across his hand, “You’re going to scream at me when I do, but okay.”

“Give me a little credit. I’m not a wuss, Bri-an!” His voice rose an octave and several decibel levels, “Oh for fuck sake, that hurt like a son of a bitch!”

I laughed a little, “Yeah, I thought so. Here,” I handed him some paper towels, sort of amused at seeing Matt’s tough guy façade brought down by a cap full of peroxide, “dry it while I get the antiseptic spray and some gauze and tape.”

“Antiseptic spray . . .that’s the shit that stings, right?” His eyes widened, “It’s okay. Give me some Neosporin.”

“It’s too big for Neosporin and too fresh.” I shook my head, “Let the antiseptic do its job and when I change the bandage, I’ll use Neosporin, okay?”

“Brian, don’t talk to me like I’m McKenna.” He growled but held his own wrist in an iron grip when I shook and uncapped the spray.

My eyebrows shot up, “Keep talking, tough guy, I’ll give you two sprays.”

His mouth clamped shut and so did his eyes. I shot his hand with the stuff and watched as his face turned red in effort not to scream out like he had with the peroxide. I unwrapped gauze and tape and bandaged his hand. As I was finishing up, his eyes fluttered open to meet mine and I made a face at him that said I didn’t envy the cut. He half smiled and it grew into a full blown one when I bent to kiss his palm right below where he cut it. I did too, “All better?”

“Yeah, if I was four. But that was still kinda cute.” He laughed a little, “Go on back to what you were doing and I’ll clean up the first aid kit.”

“Nah, it can wait. I’ll finish up on the fly wheel, you stand back and tell me what I’m doing wrong, okay?” I motioned with my head back outside to where he’d been working on it.

He nodded and followed me out. After an hour or two of cursing each other, the car, the auto-parts store, and our tools, he finally climbed under the wheel and cranked her up. She practically purred and he grinned like a tool, his dimples popping out.

I laughed a little, “So where do you wanna go?”

“Fuck, let’s go to Johnny’s bar and get trashed.” He suggested and leaned over the seat to push open the door.

I hopped in and when we got there, I groaned. Zacky’s small, fast car was in the parking lot. He sighed, “Dude, don’t sweat it. It’s only been a week since you guys parted ways.”

“That’s the thing, Matt. We didn’t officially part. I mean, I know Zacky pushed me away but we never called it quits. I have essentially been cheating on him . . .but only because he wouldn’t answer the door and he’s like never home.”

“Damn, and we swore not to do that. Fine, let’s go in and talk to him together if he’s sober and not talk to him at all about anything serious if he’s already drunk. Okay?” He looked over at me.

I agreed and leaned in to kiss him. Imagine my surprise when the window where I was sitting was hit hard. Not hard enough to break, but hard enough to jolt us apart. Matt swore and I spun around to see Zacky sitting there, his eyes sad but his mouth a snarl of contempt.
I opened the door enough to get out, “Zee, wait. Don’t start shit. I’ve been trying to talk to you, but you haven’t answered your phone.”

“So I guess you made your decision.” He smirked.

“Damnit, Zee, don’t be that way. I wanted Matt a lot, but I wanted you too. I was trying to be with you. You pushed at me until I let Matt show me how it could be. If I could take it back, I’m not sure I would, but it’s not like I was going to cheat on you to begin with.” I sighed, “I want you in my life in the best way you can be and that’s as my friend.”

He looked away, “I’ll be here waiting when he breaks your heart like he broke mine.”

I wanted to tell him it wouldn’t happen because I was tougher stuff than him, but I couldn’t be mean on top of having already hurt him. Besides, it wasn’t entirely true. The more I was around Matt-the-boyfriend, the more I liked him. Just like the more time we spent in bed, the harder it was for me to deny how much I wanted him. “I’ll remember that, but you need to move on and live life. Be with someone who isn’t as fucked up as Matt and me.”

“True.” He laughed a little, “Speaking of Shads, what he is doing? Hiding in the car?”

I looked over my shoulder to see him readjusting his rearview mirror, “No, he’s trying to not make it over obvious that he’s primping. See, now he’ll readjust his hat. Tell me when he does.”

He watched for a second and then grinned, “Yeah, he just did. That’s funny. So you guys drinking tonight?”

“Yeah, of course.” I laughed.

“Cool. Get your lover boy, I’ll go get us some drinks.” He tapped the hood of the car, “Come on, slow ass!”

Matt laughed and stepped out of the car. He pulled me toward him by my belt buckles, “What’s going on?”

“He’s not exactly cool with it, but he’s not going to make things difficult. If you’re done primping, we can go in and get hammered.” I smirked at him.

His eyebrows snapped together, “I’m not primping. I don’t primp. You do that.”

“Sure, sweetheart, whatever you say. Your hat is a little crooked.” I smirked and watched as his hand went up to adjust it and then he smacked me soundly on the ass when he caught himself. I simply grinned and headed toward the door.

Three hours and entirely too much beer and Jack, we were all trashed and horny. Matt was being kissed on one side by me and the other by Zacky. Finally, he seemed to come to some sort of sobriety because he pushed Zacky away gently, “I can’t. Not unless you understand that this is just sex for me and you and for you and Brian. I know I fucked things up with us, but I don’t want to do the same to Brian.”

He shrugged, “Dude, I don’t care. I haven’t gotten laid in a week-“

“And you won’t be tonight.” Why? Because, even drunk, Zack was a horrible liar. I pulled him off of Matt, “I don’t want a threesome with you, not tonight. Maybe not ever, but definitely not tonight.”

Matt rolled his eyes at me, “Haner, you helped him create a problem, I hope you’re willing to fix it.”

“I am, but not here.” I looked around the bar, noticing people were avoiding looking our way, “We’re making a scene. Let’s catch a cab home.”

“No, I’m fine to drive.” He stood up and wobbled unsteady on his feet.

“No you’re not.” Both Zack and I chorused. Apparently, being told no wasn’t affecting our friendship at all. He was the one who snatched Matt’s keys away and marched toward the bar. I followed him.

He spun on me as soon as we were out of earshot, “I may not like it, I may want laid, but I be fucked if you guys are gonna die on the way home.”

“Thanks, Z.” I muttered, looking away from him as he gave the keys to the bartender and told him one of us would be back for the car in the morning. I got my cellphone out and called a cab. When I got back to the table, Matt was sipping on a bottle of water. I got the floor waitress’ attention and paid our tab before tugging at his hand. I finally leaned in close to him, when he simply grinned at me in amusement for trying to pull him up, “If you don’t come get in the cab, I’m totally sleeping at my place tonight . . .alone.”

He groaned and stood up, “You could have pulled me up if you had tried, I bet.”

“Why move muscles when my mouth works just as good?” I shrugged.

He sneered, “It’s not your mouth that worked, it was that ass of yours.”

I laughed and moved into the cab. He crawled in after me and kissed my throat as the cab driver pulled away. I glanced at the man and nudged him off of me, “Matt, you do realize you have been in public all night and all over me right?”

He shrugged, “I told you I was going to try to be a better person, now shut up, I’m kissing you . . .right here. . . “ He nuzzled into my neck and bit lightly down on my throat.

I groaned and let him, “You couldn’t just wait until we get to the house?”

“God damn it, Brian!” He backed off of me and glared, “Are you trying to tell me that of all places you wouldn’t care if I fucked you senseless you care about a cab? Seriously?”

“No.” I shook my head, “I care about how uncomfortable you’re going to be knowing you did this when you’re completely sober. I don’t want to be a fuck you regret.”

His face softened and he sighed, “You won’t be, besides . . .we’re home.” He had given the cabbie his address and he pulled me out of the taxi by one end of a belt. I rolled my eyes and let him lead me in. We were barely into the living room when he spun around and latched his lips onto mine.

I groaned and followed his lead, letting him kiss and touch me wherever, however, he wanted until we were both naked. He motioned for me to turn and I shook my head, “I want to-“

“Don’t care. Turn around and bend over, I’m going to die if I don’t get in you soon.” He muttered and grabbed my arm to turn me around.

I smashed our mouths together and reached down to fondle his dick. He put up with it for a second before pulling back, “Syn, if you don’t let me fuck you now, I’m going to go jack off then come back and beat the shit out of you.”

I laughed, “That’s technically form of rape, Matthew.” I used his real name to counteract my stage persona.

He groaned, “Honey, you can’t rape the willing and from the looks of your dick, you’re rather willing.”

This was true. I was hard and leaking. I simply smirked at him because I enjoyed seeing him all worked up. He grabbed me, pushed me down on the couch facing the back of it, gripped my hips and slammed his entire length in me at once. It was only when I bit the back of the seat to contain my scream that Matt realized something. “Fuck, you’re damn tight. You don’t bottom.”

“Never have.” I grunted out and held still, fighting back tears. I had known it was going to hurt. Matt was huge, even I was a seasoned whore it would have hurt! I didn’t think it was going to feel like my ass was torn straight in two or that I would feel wonderfully full, as if I wiggled a bit and I’d be spurting cum across the room. He reached forward and rubbed my shoulders and back, showing an edge of tenderness that I didn’t want or need. I just needed him to keep going or I’d call the whole thing off. I finally got him to do it and he moved into me a tad bit more before moving out. I groaned and anticipated the release that would finally come.

He leaned over my back and bit down on my earlobe. I shuddered and he chuckled before slamming into me harder. When I surprised him by asking him to do it again, he changed angles and hit me harder, his hips slamming into mine sharply until I finally spat, “Matt, I’m going to cum.”

“Do it and I’ll cum in your face.” He threatened and reached a hand out to grasp my dick hard, “Not until I’m ready, Brian.”

“Fuck you.” I muttered and reached back to scratch his thighs with bitten-off nails.

That was enough to cause him to cum spurting in me and I followed shortly after. I smirked at him when he collapsed on top of me, “Matt, you’re kinda putting it even farther in me and you’re not quite soft yet.”

“Soft my ass, I could go for another round.” He chuckled and then turned his head to kiss my cheek, “Will it hurt you if I pull out now?”

“Probably not to mention we’ll have a mess.” I shrugged.

“How much will the pain turn you on?” He asked, an eyebrow crooking up as I looked over my shoulder at him.

I shuddered thinking about it and simply smiled. He pulled out of me not so slowly and I groaned as I lurched forward. He laughed a bit, “Come on, princess, let’s go upstairs.”

“Better idea.” I smirked at him over my shoulder before turning around gingerly. I sank to my knees in front of him and licked a trail up his thigh, “Why don’t you join me in the floor?”

He chuckled and started to lean down to kiss me. I moved at the last moment and gave a tug so that he landed on his face in the floor. He glared at me and I smirked, “What’s wrong, princess? Don’t you like the floor?”

He groaned and pouted, “Sorry?”

“That’s a start. Come on.” I patted his toned stomach and stood, leading the way upstairs with a raging boner and a grin. To be such a tough guy, lord did Matt have a pretty pout!

*****

“How did Donnie take it when you broke up with him?” Leana asked as we all waited for the bus to take off from the studio.

Matt hemmed and hawed and finally shrugged, “Honestly? I haven’t yet. He’s been busy and I haven’t even bothered to call him. He’s smart, so I’m hoping he figured out what’s going on without me having to tell him.”

“Why wouldn’t you tell him?” I frowned a little, reaching up to turn my newly acquired nose ring a bit.

He frowned, “Because I don’t like hurting people, Brian. I’d rather he just think I lost interest than to tell him he was just a stand in for you.”

“Besides, wasn’t he going back to New York when the summer classes were over? How was that going to work?” I smirked at him.

“It wasn’t meant to. Come here.” He held out a hand and I moved over to the lounge where he was sitting. I sat down on the other side of the couch and he frowned again. I arched an eyebrow at him. He groaned, “Why can’t you just come here, like I asked?”

“I’m here, what more do you want?” I sneered and he grabbed my shirt to pull me across the couch to lean against his side. I rolled my eyes at Leana, who out-right laughed, and looked over at him, “You know, saying ‘Brian, I’d like it if you sat next to me and acknowledged my existence as your boyfriend’ would have worked just as well.”

“And I might have said that if I were your boyfriend.” He smirked.

Leana abruptly stopped laughing and I smacked his stomach sharply. He huffed out a laugh and bent his head to kiss me quickly. About that time, the bus started moving with a lurch and it threw me harder against him. He deepened the kiss and pulled me onto his lap as much as he could. Zacky came in a moment later, “I would say get a room, but there isn’t one. Matt, if you let him breath, he’ll be better in bed.”

He lifted his head and spoke before he thought apparently, “If he were any better, we’d never leave the house.”

Zacky smirked, “You mean, he’s better in bed than me?”

Matt sighed, “It’s not a competition, Zack. You were great, have always been great. Brian’s just a different kind of great. He likes sex the way I do, that’s all.”

I sighed too, “And that being said, I’m going to go work on a song.”

Matt tried to keep a grip on me and I pulled away with a look at him. In the bunk, working on a song I’d been writing for a while, I could hear Matt and Zacky semi-arguing up front. I could hear him telling Zack that he needed to stop being an asshole as far as us having sex was concerned. They argued back and forth for a few moments before Matt stomped back to the bunks. He wrenched open the curtain, “Babe, can I lay down with you?”

I gave a shrug and scooted over. He stretched out on the bunk and watched me play. After a moment, he spoke up, “You’re being awfully quiet, what’s up?”

I pinned him with a look that clearly said “what the fuck do you think?”

He rolled his hazel colored eyes, “What the fuck? People who say chicks are dramatic have never dated Brian Haner, Jr.”

I smirked, “Yeah, well, neither are you. It’s just sex we both like, that’s all.”

He groaned, “That’s what pissed you off? I was trying to not hurt Zack’s feelings and tell him that sex with you was the best I’ve ever had. I hate hurting people and it seems like everything I do and say does just that. I know I’m not the best boyfriend in the world, but dude, I’m trying. I say the wrong shit to the wrong person all the time. And I was joking when I said I wasn’t your boyfriend, you know that.”

“Don’t joke like that. I know it’s a miracle you own up to the fact that you’re gay and to most of the outside world, you still don’t. So when you say shit like that it makes me feel like I’m not important. I know it was supposed to be us just getting each other out of our systems, but shit if I can hold myself to that.” I laid my guitar down, “Besides, the more time we spend together, the harder it is to get you out of my system.”

“And the more time we spend together, the less I want to do that, Brian.” He pulled me down roughly and I lost it.

“And damn it, Shadows, if you don’t start asking me to move instead of moving me around like I’m fucking Donnie then I’m going to start punching you in the face every time you do.” I growled at him and sat back up.

“Whatever.” He flopped over onto his back and folded his arms under his head, “What is it about me grabbing you that you don’t like either? I thought me being all rough with you was what you liked?”

“Yeah, during sex, but other than that I’d like to be treated like your equal. There’s no reason to be all over-hormonal macho man with me. If you want me to lay down with you, you just have to ask. If you want me to move closer, ask. Even if you don’t verbally say something, you could just motion to me or something. I’m not your bitch or the bitch period. If you can’t accept that then maybe this was a really bad fucking idea.” I rolled my eyes and then slid out of the bunk that felt increasingly suffocating with him just laying there looking at me.

I’d barely made it out before he spoke up, “Brian, wait.”

I paused and his hand grabbed mine. I expected him to pull me back into the bunk like was his usual way but he simply squeezed my hand, “Can you come back in here so I can talk to you?”

I sighed and edged back in, moving my guitar out of the way so I could lay down facing him. He leaned in and kissed me, speaking against my lips, “I hear you and I understand. Just be patient with me, Brian. I am trying.”

I smiled a little, “Try harder, Matt, or get used to your hand.”

He laughed a little and threw an arm around me. He pulled me a little closer and then stopped, “Sorry, sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s different than what you were doing earlier. Not as obnoxious.” I bit my lip from saying it was kind of sweet when he simply wanted me closer to him than when he was making me move without expressing any want or desire to have me near him. He’d veto the idea of him being sweet and stop making any effort against being an asshole.

We laid there for a while, talking and kissing, blocking out the sounds of the bus, of Jimmy and Zacky playing video games up front, and of Leana moving about putting away luggage. That was until it got to ours. She knocked on the side of the bunk and Matt groaned, reaching over me to open the curtain, “What’s up?”

“Do I put your and Brian’s luggage together or separate?” She arched her eyebrows curiously.

“Uh separate so we won’t be trying to wear each other’s jeans. I like mine tight, he likes his falling off his ass.” Matt sneered at me and then reached for his ringing cell phone.

I sneered back and snatched it out of his back pocket with a flick of my wrist. It opened before he had a chance to see who it was, but I did, “Hello?”

“Um, hi, Brian. I was looking for Matt?” It was Donnie and I was barely holding back a shit eating grin. Looked like Matt was going to have to suck it up and be a man now!

“Well, here he is.” I put the phone to Matt’s ear and he glared at me as he talked.

“Hi, Donnie. . .Yeah, we left about an hour ago from the studio . . .we should be in Carlsbad at about four or five tomorrow night. . .if you want, but I have to tell you something pretty important, Donnie. . .” He groaned and ran a hand over his face, “No, it really can’t wait-please, don’t hang up. Damnit!” He clapped the phone closed and looked at me in apology.

I kissed his cheek, “You tried, that’s what matters.”

“Yeah, but bad news . . .since he missed us leaving he’s going to Carlsbad for our first concert tomorrow night and wants to see me. So he’ll be there early. I’m going to tell him then I guess. I figured he’d get the message with me not calling or texting him for almost two weeks straight.” He pouted a little and I groaned.

“Some people don’t get subtle hints and please put the pout away, we don’t have enough privacy to solve that kind of problem.” I motioned down to where I was getting an instant hard on.

He laughed a little and fiddled with my belt for a moment, “So the whole Donnie thing isn’t freaking you out?”

“Why should it? I mean, unless you have no plans to break up with him, then why would I care?” I frowned a little, “You do plan on it, right?”

“Of course!” His eyes met mine, “You’re the one I want to be with, even if I keep denying it to the world and myself. I’m not going to jeopardize that.”

“Okay.” I pulled his mouth back down to mine, smiling against his lips when he pulled my shirt off almost immediately.

He laughed a little, “I’m just teasing myself, damn. Alright . . . want to go upfront and do something? Anything other than torture ourselves?”

I laughed too, “Nah. I’m going to work on some music, like I said. You can though.”

“Kay.” He leaned in and kissed me again before climbing over me. I smiled when he walked up front and Leana asked him if he’d sufficiently kissed ass enough to get him out of trouble. At least there was one normal thing about our relationship.