Dirty Laundry

He was about to turn on a mini flashlight but I grabbed his hand shaking my head and put my finger to my lips ''don’t do that you'll scare him'' I whispered as I pointed to a buck grazing with a few other dear a while away. I went slower than I usually did in the forest since Gabe followed. I wasn’t sure how familiar he was walking through a forest and I didn’t want to push him especially with the limp in his leg. His knee was still bad and every now and then I’d hear him grunt.

The forest was darker than the night sky but I knew even though it was dark and barely visible there was life all around us ignoring us as we went about our business. A time or two Gabe would reach out and hold me back. ‘‘Just don’t get too close, as long as you ignore them they'll ignore you'' I assured him. ‘‘You have too much confidence in animals'' ''maybe, but I’m used to being surrounded by them'' I shrugged as I led him on.
Finally a faint glow whispered through the dense bushes. I pulled Gabe down to the ground. Their fire was dying down and the two men slept in the open. ''This is too easy'' he snorted standing up. I grabbed his hand pulling him back ''you’re not the only one who's paranoid…look'' I pointed at a thin wire stretched across a tree. He avoided it and pulled out one of his knives going up to one of the men. Before the man could even open his eyes he was gone, throat slit eyes glazed. Gabe moved onto the next one and did the same. He looked around the camp for any clues as the dead bled out. I walked among the camp as well.

Unfortunately there was nothing. The only thing that we found was a few GPS systems and some tracking devices, laptops, cameras, a few knives and guns. I stayed back mostly just going through their back packs as Gabe took pictures of their corpses with his cell phone. His face was stoic, all traces of my Gabe were gone and he was all business. He really was intimidating when he was like this, it’s a good thing I was trained not to fear anything. He removed their clothing stuffing it in the tent then grabbed a gas container they had by a tree away from the fire and picked the men up tossing them in the ten as well. He grabbed a few logs from the fire placing them underneath the dead men. He reached into his pocket took out a few coins laying them on their eyes then doused the bodies and the tent with gas.

I watched fascinated, why would he put coins on their eyes? I almost smiled at my stupidity. Of course I knew why. He took a stick from the dying fire and set the tent and the bodies on fire. He stood back watching the blaze. The stench of burning flesh mixed with wood and plastic. It was a horrible smell. I covered my nose with the sleeve of my hoodie but I knew I’d never forget that terrible smell. I walked up to him putting my arm around his waist. He looked down at me wrapping both his arms around me pulling me into him until I couldn’t see the flames and smell the haunting aroma of death. ‘‘Let’s go home'' he whispered in my ear. The tips of his fingers were darkened by soot as he fed more into the fire. ‘‘You do like the Greeks don’t you?'' I asked nodding towards the pyre. He shrugged. ''I’m fond'' ''fond enough to leave money for Charon?'' ''I already told you I don’t know what’s out there, I’d rather be prepared than sorry'' he lifted the back pack that I put our findings and slung it over his shoulder. I smiled at his mercy. He wasn’t as heartless as he thought he was. ‘‘Lead the way'' he grabbed my hand wearily. He seemed exhausted, tired of this way of living.

I wonder if he ever just wishes he could stop and walk away. He says that he's comfortable but his eyes say otherwise. I rubbed my thumb over his hand soothingly then led him through the night forest. As the flame grew smaller and smaller from our view finally fading from our eyes I took a deep breath. It smelled of rain and soil and dried leaves. God how I missed that smell, I needed it after the smell of that pyre. The fire wouldn’t spread; I knew it as a fact because the forest was damp and soggy. It even began to drizzle as if the forest cried over the death of the two men.

If only they hadn’t come, they'd still be alive. But people's avarice would be their undoing. Greed was such a horrible addiction, always wanting. More more more until finally it consumed them. Sure money was vital to live in any country today but was it necessary to need so much of it? It was just a monetary unit that would grant you whatever you wanted, not what you really needed. Money couldn’t buy you love, it couldn’t buy you happiness. Sure there are things it could get you like a new body, all the women or men you could desire, friends, but they'd all be fake and superficial. Nothing would be real.

My hair stuck to my face and neck damp as the rain fell harder pelting us like ice cold needles. Gabe put his coat over my head ''its water proof'' ''I’m fine'' ''I don’t want you to get sick'' he insisted. I didn’t argue, I knew I wouldn’t win. That’s all we said for the next hour as we hiked our way back home. When we finally broke clear of the forest to the house I felt elated. This forest held a dark secret of death. A secret I hoped I’d never uncover again. I paused as I stood on the deck and looked east. The sun was rising slowly turning the leaves bright green and streaking the sky with pink and yellow. What time was it? How long had we been out there? The clouds were dispersing as quickly as they had come.

It was a beautiful morning. Even though I didn’t see the exact sun rise watching it through the trees was just as beautiful. Dawn was always beautiful. Gabe walked beside me after he realized that I wasn’t walking with him to the doorway. ‘‘Are you ok?'' he asked looking out trying to see what I was staring at. ‘‘Yes…it’s just pretty'' I shrugged. He looked out again and nodded finally realizing I was just enjoying the view. ‘‘You like watching the sun rise?'' he asked. I shrugged ''it’s nice…it reminds me of when I was in Panama with my cousin Pati, she used to take me up to the river on the top of the mountain to sit on a slope where the water fell onto beautiful rapids and we'd sit there and watch the sun rise, I haven’t seen her in years I wonder if she still goes up there to watch the sun rise'' I said distantly as I relived the memory. Patrisia, Pati for short, was my favorite cousin. We did everything together and people always thought we were sisters.

She was sixteen when I was five and she'd never leave me out of anything. She even took me to another aunt of ours, Tia Chinta, who'd make cakes and cookies and bolie. She was the best baker I’d ever known, I still cry when I think of her death. At least she left our world peacefully in her sleep.

I clutched the small peridot crucifix my dad gave me around my neck as I thought of Chinta. ''Resto en pas Tia Hyasintha'' I whispered to myself then wiped a tear from my eye. ‘‘What’s wrong…I’m sorry if I made you upset, I didn’t want you to see tha-'' ''it’s not that'' I smiled as he hugged me. ‘‘Then what’s wrong?'' he asked. ''The sun rise, it reminds me of my cousin and my aunt. she died recently about a year and a half ago. I never got to say goodbye. I just miss her is all'' I shrugged as I sniffled wiping another tear and smiling at him for encouragement. He hugged me tightly stroking my damp hair back ''then let’s go inside. I don’t like seeing you cry'' ''I’m fine, but I’ve got to make breakfast anyway'' I nodded.

He cupped my cheeks ''I’m still sorry you had to see all of that'' ''it’s fine, really'' I put my hand over one of his. He leaned in pecking my lips still reluctant to believe me. ‘‘Come on let’s get you dried off'' I brushed some rain off his face.

We walked inside the same time Lina walked into the kitchen ''where have you guys been? There’s a man in the guest room downstairs. He says his name is Matt'' she pointed behind her. Gabe looked down at me ''I called him last night I didn’t think he'd come until today'' ''better go see if he's alright'' he left walking past Lina. ‘‘Well?'' she urged. I waited until Gabe was gone ''there was a problem in the forest…it’s all taken care of now'' I shrugged. ‘‘Was it a bear?'' ‘‘No some hikers got lost, their GPS's ran out of batteries so we went in to help'' ''how did they contact you?'' ‘‘Radio…Smith has one upstairs, they were vets in a way you could say it was a bear. They had one tagged and he was getting a little too close to some residents but they got lost on their way back'' ''oh, ok'' she nodded. ‘‘Now I’m going to take a shower. I smell like rain and wet leaves'' I giggled. ‘‘Ok Kyle is still asleep'' she nodded stepping out of my way.

After washing my hair I tied it up with a pin and tried to scrub the smell of smoke out of my mind. It didn’t work but I felt like I at least got it off my skin. I was almost startled when the fogged up shower door opened but I calmed instantly when Gabe stepped in. ''you look exhausted'' I smiled lightly as he hung his head in the water. ''I feel like a giant lead weight'' I grabbed a wash cloth and scrubbed his back ''poor Gabe, I thought we said no work for a week'' I snorted. ‘‘Does pro bono count?'' he chuckled. ‘‘I guess not'' it technically wasn’t work…besides it was for his life. ‘‘Besides I didn’t get into a fight'' ''they were sleeping'' ''would you have me wake them up and fight them'' ''no'' but it would have been honorable. I added mentally. I cursed myself for thinking of the warrior code. He was an assassin not a warrior. assassins had their codes, I think. ‘‘Do assassins have codes?'' ‘‘Codes? Like what?'' ‘‘Rules'' ''yes'' he nodded. ‘‘Tell me'' I said curiously. ‘‘Well it’s not really a written code...it’s mine Landon's and Matt's. Most assassins just do it for money, not that we are trying to be righteous. We just like lines that we won’t under any circumstances cross'' ''what are they?'' I asked. ‘‘We don’t kill children, I know what you’re thinking'' he stopped me before I could mention my family.

''I was ordered for that one by Miri'' ''Miri? She knows my step father?'' ‘‘No, the man who asked for her help is an old friend'' ''what’s a contractor got to do with the CIA?'' ''I don’t know, maybe he's retired CIA'' he shrugged. ‘‘Well go on'' I urged. ‘‘No innocent people, unless Miri is screaming in our ears just to shut her up, no children, no pregnant women-'' ''you'd kill a woman though right?'' ''I have'' he said stiffly. ‘‘Relax baby, I already know what you do'' I wrapped a towel around me and combed out my hair. ‘‘How do you do that?'' he asked. ‘‘What?'' ‘‘You’re ok...I know you say that you were trained by your dad but you've never had any action like that until you came here'' ''wrong, I’ve been fighting since I was four. Besides all I see is a man'' ''most would call me a monster'' he snorted as he shook the water off his head stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist. ‘‘Mm…monster, man…they both start with the letter M, but they're different. Sure some men are complete assholes, monsters, but what defines a monster? A murderer, wife beater, child molester, rapists-'' ''I’m a murderer'' he said quietly.

‘‘Are you? To me the words assassin and murderer are very very different'' ''really?'' he raised a brow sitting me on the counter. I nodded brushing my teeth looking at him. ‘‘Mhmm…for one thing a murderer enjoys what he does, lives for the kill. Thrives off of it, do you seek people out to kill out of pleasure?'' I asked. He shook his head. ‘‘No you know that'' ''I don’t mean to be rude, but you’re a military dog. You do as you’re told. You don’t do it of your own accord. Besides you get paid to do it...pleasure and business are two different things'' I spat toothpaste out in the sink. He lifted a glass of water for me to rinse but his eyes were searching me for something. ‘‘Don’t look at me like that. Be skeptical if you want but I’m telling you and I will always tell you that I see a person, a man, not a monster'' I dried my face with the edge of my towel. ''I’m sure your father would say otherwise'' ''the only reason he'd say otherwise would be when he finds out that I slept with you'' I snorted.

‘‘You can’t be his little girl forever'' ''in his mind I’ll always be his little heathen'' ''heathen? Not an angel?'' ‘‘No...If I ever said I was his little angel he'd tell me 'angel with two horns and a tail''' I shrugged. ‘‘What else does he call you?'' he chuckled. '' Heathen, demon, monster, monkey, spawn of Satan...'' I paused as one more came to mind but it was too embarrassing to say. ‘‘Those are endearments?'' he asked wide eyed. I nodded ''you don’t know my father, he calls me those things but he says them with love'' ''spawn of Satan?'' ‘‘That’s daddy'' I sighed nodding. ‘‘Didn’t he ever call you sweetie? Or something nice?'' ''…only when I was crying and he wanted to make me laugh, he'd call me baby, and if he really wanted to make me laugh he'd call me his little fart blossom'' ''fart blossom?'' ‘‘Don’t judge'' I laughed. ''I’m not…fart blossom'' ''shut up'' I shook my head. ''I think it’s cute'' ''no'' I shook my head ''it’s embarrassing'' ''I like it'' he chuckled. He let me off the counter laughing as he picked up his toothbrush. I got dressed in sofies and a t-shirt then went downstairs and made breakfast and a bottle for Kyle.

It felt like forever since I held my little darling. I wasn’t hungry so I just spent my time in the living room coddling Kyle. He turned a month old today. Matt didn’t stay long just long enough to talk to Gabe about the bounty on his head and the precautions to take to ensure that no one would get hurt. Lina sat in the armchair watching random TV; it seemed she was favoring disaster date.

''My parents will be home tomorrow'' Lina said quietly as Kyle fell asleep in my arms. ‘‘It’s a good thing your bruise healed, I don’t like lying to your mother'' her mother could get crazy. She giggled nodding. ''Caleb keeps calling me…he doesn’t remember anything'' ''you’re going to have to keep him off the booze or break up with him because you know I don’t have patients with abusive people'' ''I know'' she nodded.

She understood my intentions were for her own good, I know I’m not her mother or sister but it felt like she was my family since we've known each other since the beginning of high school. We’ve always been close. She turned off the TV ''can I plug the iPod in?'' she asked. I nodded ''yeah…let me just go put him upstairs'' I stood up rocking Kyle lightly. I came back down and lay on the couch and sang along to Amy Winehouse. Lina was sitting upside down on the recliner twirling her hair as she sang along too.

I felt drowsy, almost drained. I wanted to sleep but I couldn’t. A few songs later and I was up and cleaning. I mopped around the house and cleaned the windows. I needed to keep busy enough to tire me out and put me to sleep. Matt was on his way out the door around lunchtime. When I was about to start lunch Gabe picked me up throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me upstairs ''go to sleep before you kill yourself'' he growled. I knew he was in a bad mood, well now that I recall Matt walked out rather abruptly and annoyed. ''I’m not tired'' ''you were up all night and yesterday, get some rest in you'' ''I’m fine, I can’t sleep as it is'' I whispered so I wouldn’t wake Kyle. ‘‘You look tired'' ''and lunch?'' ‘‘We can fend'' ''you need sleep to you know'' ''I’m busy'' ''busy?'' I eyed him suspiciously. He pursed his lips ''one more thing and I’m yours for the week'' ''somehow I don’t believe that'' I sighed shrugging off my sofies.

''I promised didn’t I?'' ''I don’t know if you’re one of those people who promises things then breaks them'' ''don’t do this to me right now'' ''I haven’t done anything'' I shrugged shrugging off my shirt and snuggling under the covers. He sighed growling under his breath as he lifted the blankets and lay beside me. ‘‘What?'' he asked. ‘‘Nothing'' I shrugged. ‘‘It doesn’t look like nothing'' ''you’re the one who's annoyed Gabriel...I was fine. You’re the one with the tude right now'' ''I don’t have an attitude'' he bit my head off. I meshed my lips holding back a smile.

‘‘Why don’t you go back to being busy? If it keeps grouchy Gabe out of my hair'' I rolled my eyes turning my back on him. He sighed putting his arms around me ''I’m sorry'' he grumbled ''I’m taking my annoyance out on you'' ''now that you've admitted it...wanna tell me what’s wrong?'' ''Matt'' ''anything else?'' ‘‘Just Matt being annoying'' he shrugged. ‘‘Why don’t you take a nap, you seem more tired than me'' I patted his hand. ‘‘But I’m not sleepy'' ''your grouchy, maybe a nap will make you a little less edgy'' ''maybe your right'' he got up long enough to shrug off his jeans and shirt. He climbed into bed and bunched his pillow up and buried his face in it. I kissed his shoulder before I climbed back out and pulled my clothes back on. Now that he was calmed down enough maybe I can finish my house work. Before I left the room I looked back at him. He was so exhausted; maybe a nap was good for him right now. I went back down only to find Lina scrambling away from the baby monitor.

I narrowed my eyes on her guilty face. ''…I’m sorry'' she whispered almost mousy. ‘‘How much did you hear?'' I asked. ‘‘Not much, you guys whisper too softly'' ''lying isn’t a smart thing to do Lina, you don’t have a good poker face'' I crossed my arms. ''…ok I heard almost all of it'' ''almost all?'' ‘‘Ok all of it'' she sighed. ''Lina you can’t just eaves drop in this house; there are things that will really disturb you. Next time I want you to turn off the monitor no matter how tempting it is to leave it on'' ''ok'' she nodded but I could see in her eyes she had no intention of listening to me. ''Lina I mean it'' ''ok'' she nodded putting her hands up in surrender. ‘‘So what kept you two up all night?'' she smirked. I shook my head ''you don’t want to know'' I said solemnly.

She bit her lip realizing it wasn’t a crazy sexcapade in the forest. ‘‘There wasn’t any lost vets were there?'' ''no'' ''then wh-'' ''careful what you asking Li, I don’t want to drag you into this mess'' ''aren’t I alre-'' ''no you’re not, you’re not until you kill a mercenary'' I sighed. She looked at me with suspicion ''when did you become an assassin?'' ''I’m not one, I’m just dating one'' I snorted. ‘‘Now come on let’s get you some lunch'' I walked to the kitchen to make some ramen. Lina sat at the island. ''Shanell...did you kill a mercenary?'' ‘‘I already told you'' I rolled my eyes. ''I didn’t really believe you at the time'' ''Smith took the blame for me, he has to. I don’t have a license to kill, I could be convicted of murder'' ''so there really are licenses to kill?'' ‘‘Yes, I guess so, it’s not like there’s an ID card for it'' I shrugged. ‘‘If you could, would you be an assassin?'' she asked. I turned my back on her putting the water to boil. ‘‘You already know'' I shrugged.