Dirty Laundry

I told her about my father, she has even met the man. She didn’t need to ask these questions. ‘‘So you would...what if you had to kill a child? You were ordered to do it'' ''Kyle is still alive isn’t he?'' ‘‘Was he ordered to kill him?'' ''…no'' ''then there’s a difference, -'' ''he'd never kill a child'' I shook my head. ‘‘How do you know?'' ‘‘Because, I know, don’t try to press me for any more information. I can’t tell you everything'' ''why not? You’ve already told me a lot'' ''because Smith is a very private man, and there are things that haunt him. I don’t think he'd want me blabbing his feelings and past'' ''past? You say that like he was Xena looking for retribution from all the people she killed'' ''this isn’t a TV show with bad fight scenes, he has a past but not like that'' ''I’m a curious girl'' she shrugged.

‘‘Curiosity can get you killed. Ask the wrong questions and you can be seen as a target, never ask too many questions even if you’re curious. sometimes the answers aren’t as satisfying as you might hope…ask enough that you're knowledgeable but not so many that you’re a threat'' I turned looking at her seriously. She sat up in her seat surprised at my dire tone.

''I’m sorry'' ''don’t apologize, I just want you to be careful'' I cupped her cheek with a half smile. She nodded and I turned back to the ramen. ‘‘So why don’t we watch a movie tonight? I’m sure there is something good on Netflix'' I said casually. ‘‘Ok, let’s watch a romance, I haven’t watched a good romance in a while'' she said dreamily. I laughed to myself ''ok'' ''or a musical'' ‘‘it’s up to you, I’m not very picky about movies'' ''Chicago!'' she said cheerily. I swerved to look at her and leaned on the counter ''you know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Bernie. Bernie liked to chew gum. No, not chew. POP. so I came home this one day and I am really irritated, and I’m looking for a bit a sympathy and there's Bernie layin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. poppin'. So, i said to him, I said ''you pop that gum one more time...'' and he did. So I took the shot gun off the wall and fired two warning shots...into his head…he had it coming, he had it coming he only had himself to blame if you'd have been there if you'd have heard it I betcha you would have done the same!'' she sang with me giggling. ‘‘Remind me to keep all the guns away from you'' Gabe snorted walking to the fridge and taking out a beer.

‘‘What are you doing up?'' I giggled. ''Landon called, he wants to know if we want to go to the aquarium tomorrow'' ''…what?'' I raised a brow ''he's trying to get laid by some blond who likes animals'' he sighed. ‘‘Really?'' I snorted. He nodded taking a gulp.

‘‘You coming?'' he asked both me and Lina ''I can’t my parents are coming home tomorrow'' ''maybe next time then'' ''you want some ramen?'' I asked him. He eyed the boiling noodles shaking his head ''naw I’m going back to bed, I was just thirsty'' ''why not drink something less intoxicating?'' ‘‘Haven’t had a beer in a while'' he shrugged. ‘‘Well we're going to watch Chicago if you wanna stay up'' I meshed my lips ''yeah, lets watch women in prison who killed their husbands...that'll make me trust you'' he snorted. ‘‘If I wanted you dead you'd be dead already'' I rolled my eyes. ‘‘Ditto'' ''you didn’t kill me the first night what would make you kill me now'' I crossed my arms smiling at him. ‘‘People tick…it can happen at anytime'' ''I’d like to see you kill me, I don’t think you could'' my smug smile wiped off at his stoic face.

‘‘I could, but I’d be guilty afterwards. I could never live with myself if I did'' he said quietly. I reached my hand up to cup his cheek ''aw you say the sweetest things'' I pecked his lips. Lina just sat there wide eyed ''what the hell?'' she said to herself. ‘‘Don’t even try to understand'' I giggled. Gabe put his arms around my waist leaning in to lay his forehead on my shoulder ''I’m going back to bed call me if you need me'' he yawned kissing my shoulder.

He finished up his beer and tossed it in the trash can then went back upstairs. Lina and I watched the movie but half way through Kyle woke up and I tended to him, fed him then held him in my arms for the rest of the movie.

Gabe woke up just in time for dinner. He was still groggy when he walked into the kitchen in just his jeans probably too lazy to put on a shirt. Heck his jeans weren’t even buttoned! He slumped against my shoulder and yawned. I turned facing him ''your hungry aren’t you?'' I asked. He nodded ''the only reason why I’m up is because I could smell it'' he gave me a small lopsided smile. ‘‘Well it’s almost done'' I buttoned his pants and turned back to the pot of soup I was making. ‘‘What is it?'' ‘‘Beef soup, mother's recipe'' I lifted a small spoonful and blew on it then held it out for him to taste. ‘‘Tastes good'' ''the soup is ready I’m just waiting on the rice'' I nodded to the pot of rice beside the soup. He moved away from me and went to sit at the kitchen island. Lina was with Kyle sitting at the dining table playing with him.

The doorbell rang and I looked over my shoulder at Gabe, he glared at the kitchen archway. He looked to me with suspicious eyes and I opened a cupboard where he had a gun hiding taped to the side. I slid it quietly to him so Lina wouldn’t be surprised and he stood up carefully walking out. I covered the rice and turned off the soup and went to the archway. Unfortunately I couldn’t see anything because the door was to the side. I could hear him talking quietly to someone. I walked out slowly. I was a bit apprehensive when I saw a man with dark hair and a day’s growth of hair on his cheeks.

He wore a black turtle neck and khaki pants. I knew from the get go that he was an assassin as well. He carried himself with authority and dignity, like Gabe, but there was a feral fierceness in his pale green emerald eyes that made him almost look insane. He seemed to be older than Gabe and just as tall if not a few centimeters taller. He rolled those feral eyes to me and I felt frozen. ''Well you finally found yourself a little friend'' he said mockingly with a crooked grin. ‘‘Baby, who's your friend?'' I kept my gaze on the new comer. I felt a bit violated when he looked me up and down. He was studying me. Filing me away incase I could be of use later. But for what? Was he a friend or foe? ''Shanell…this is my father'' Gabe stepped towards me. I looked at him searching him for something. Could this man really be his father? I thought he didn’t know his parents? Maybe he just didn’t want to face them. But I thought he didn’t know his father. I knew I already didn’t like this man.

''Alistair Kentigem'' he extended a scarred right hand. I looked down at it examining the pale scars that ran along it. I followed the hand up the black sleeved arm to his face. ‘‘Well I see he gets his looks from his mom…but his face from you'' I shook his hand uncomfortably. As I examined his face further I could see the signs of age. A few wrinkles there, some frown lines here. He was older than he appeared. I thought Gabe looked like his mother, but he didn’t. He had his mother's hair and eyes and maybe a few facial expressions and actions…but he was almost the spitting image of the man before me. The same jaw line, lips, facial structure…even down to the way he stared at you. Very analytical. ''Shanell Ruziano...Nani for short'' ''it’s a pleasure'' he kissed my hand.

It felt weird. I looked over to Gabe who was standing to the side uncomfortably. I could see he didn’t want me to meet his father. ‘‘Is he staying for dinner?'' ‘‘If he wants'' he shrugged but the daggers he was glaring at Alistair said he didn’t want him to stay. ‘‘Well then I guess I’ll stay'' Alistair said with a smirk. ‘‘Make yourself comfortable'' Gabe shrugged walking to me and putting his arm around my waist. ‘‘Stay away from him he's dangerous'' he whispered as he kissed my head. He guided me to the kitchen and Lina looked up with a smile ''hi'' she said friendly. It was nice at least one of us could be blind without fearing a knife would go into our backs the moment we turned. I took Kyle from her ''I’ll put him to sleep'' ''I was just burping him'' Lina smiled putting the empty bottle in the sink. Alistair looked at Kyle with soft eyes ''is it yours?'' he asked Gabe. ‘‘You could say that'' ''I’mma gran-'' ''he's not your grandson to claim'' Gabe said rather rudely.

I burped Kyle as I walked upstairs and laid him in his crib. I put the baby monitor on and went back downstairs. I served dinner and sat across from Gabe, Alistair to my right and Lina to my left sitting across from Alistair. I kept him in my periphery. Gabe was tense, too tense. I didn’t like it. Lina’s phone rang ''it’s my dad'' she excused herself. ''I take it she's no fool'' Alistair lifted his beer to his lips. I narrowed my eyes on him and Gabe just watched him closely. ‘‘I don’t know what you’re talking about'' Gabe picked at his soup. ''I’m not dumb boy, I know when I’m getting the stink eye from a civilian who knows too much'' he set his beer down and looked at me ''so I take it since you know his mother you know what he does yeah?'' he had a slight accent.

It sounded Scottish. I looked to Gabe keeping my head down. He looked at me and nodded once. ''He didn’t tell me if that’s what you want to know'' ''then how does a civilian-'' ''I’m not as stupid as I seem'' ''I don’t think you’re stupid at all, it’s your friend I fear for'' he snorted. ‘‘You touch my friend and I’ll feed you your heart'' I hissed at him. He raised his hands in surrender ''I wouldn’t dream of it'' he said mockingly. ''Alistair I think it’s time you left'' ''kick your own father out? That’s very nice'' he snorted ''but an old man knows where he's not wanted'' he stood up.

I could see a trace of hurt in his eyes, but I wouldn’t fall for it. ‘‘Sit your ass down and stop being stupid'' Gabe growled. It seemed this wasn’t the first time Alistair had pulled this. Alistair sat down. ‘‘So how did a pretty little thing like you end up with him?'' he asked intrigued. I looked to Gabe ''none of your business'' he growled. I was so confused; Gabe said he was an orphan. But he knew his parents. By the way that Alistair talked I knew he was an assassin...or something. Maybe this world was a small world, a small community of assassins. ‘‘How long are you in the states?'' ''Miri called me in from India...I don’t know why but I thought I’d see my-'' ''I’m not your son'' Gabe glared daggers at the man. He got up and walked out angrily. I just watched as he left. When he was gone Alistair sighed wearily as if the weight of the world were on his shoulders.

''It’s not my fault; had I known he was there I’d have taken him. Miri didn’t tell me anything about him until I saw him in her office when he finished basic training'' it seemed he was trying to explain himself to me. ''Don’t explain it to me, all he ever wanted was a family. I’ve said too much'' I stood up and took his bowl to the sink along with mine. ''…just give me five minutes. I’m sure he'll be a little less mean when I talk to him'' ''don’t bother it won’t reach him'' he sighed looking at his half eaten soup. ''I love him, he knows that and he'll at least listen...I can’t change the past but maybe there could be a future. I may not trust you, nor do I like you but I understand the importance of family even if they are a pain in the ass. I'll talk to him. But you touch my son or my friend I swear by everything inside me that I will gut you where you stand regardless of if you’re his father. And that goes for hurting Gabriel as well'' I pointed a threatening finger at him. He nodded solemnly but he seemed a little condescending.

I went upstairs but Gabe wasn’t in the room. He was in his office typing away at his computer. I walked up to him and stood to his side. He seemed peeved, mostly annoyed. I ran my fingers through his hair and he laid his head against my chest. ‘‘I know what you’re thinking'' he sighed. I didn’t say anything. ‘‘An orphan who knows his parents…'' he snorted humorously. ''they give me up and the next thing I know they are back in my life but I can’t so much as look at them unless it’s for business...and now he's showing up on my doorstep. As usual. He treats everything as some big joke. And don’t get me started on Miri, that heartless shrew'' he stood up pulling away from me as his voice grew louder. He paced a small circuit in front of his desk and I just stood there and listened. Maybe all he needed was to rant.

I know I always felt good after yelling about things. ''where the fuck were they when I needed them, and now they come to my doorstep acting as if it’s nothing personal'' he lifted his laptop off the desk and threw it against the wall. Before he could pick anything else I grabbed his hands ''baby, I know your upset...but damaging your things isn’t going to help'' ''but it'll make me feel damn better'' ''think for a second, I know Miri isn’t reachable but Alistair is, he told me that if he knew you were alive before you two met the first time in Miri's office then he'd have never let Miri put you up. He said he would have taken you. and I know right now you’re angry, and you feel betrayed by the people that were supposed to be there to love and protect you, but he's here now isn’t he?'' ‘‘You don’t get it, the only reason why he's here is because he needs something'' he pointed to the door yelling at me.

‘‘What?'' I asked. ''I don’t know it could be money or a place to stay'' ''how are you so sure?'' ''ask him'' ''I will'' ''I'll be in here I don’t want to see his ugly mug, if he needs a room then tell him to hit the road and if he asks for money there’s some in the pantry in the tin sugar jar but I don’t want to see him'' he growled. I meshed my lips. I cupped his cheek but he pushed my hands away ''just give me some time Shanell I’m too angry'' he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. I nodded understanding. Sometimes I felt that kind of anger too. I just turned and walked out of his office and went downstairs where Alistair was sitting at the table with an empty bowl of soup. ‘‘That was delicious'' he smiled timidly. ‘‘Thank you, why are you here?'' I crossed my arms. God I prayed he wasn’t here for the reasons that Gabe gave.

He looked away sheepishly. ‘‘Call me a fool, Miri told me of the bairn. I was in town already so I decided to come by'' ''so you came just for Kyle?'' I asked with narrowed eyes. He looked away again. ‘‘You need money don’t you?'' I sighed. ‘‘No'' he said firmly. ‘‘Then what?'' ‘‘To meet you, I heard from Landon that you were a bonnie to be reckoned with, now I can see he's right'' ''I don’t believe you'' I narrowed my eyes crossing my arms. ‘‘I might not have been there when he needed me but I’m trying to make amends now, can you fault an old man for that?'' he stood up frustrated. ''Don’t raise your voice at me'' I growled.

He turned away running his hands through his hair. ‘‘If it’s sympathy you want find someone else explaining this to me won’t do anything. Gabe has made up his mind. I could try again but I doubt he'd listen. When I asked about you guys he said he'd rather not talk about it, I know you say you'd have been there had you known but that doesn’t excuse you. He’s a very angry man, sometimes I can make him smile and laugh but it doesn’t last long'' I sighed. ‘‘It was that bitch of a mother that did this to him'' Alistair growled clenching his fists. ‘‘She was always a shrew, and then she goes and gets married to that Byron guy and has Matt…she didn’t even tell me I had a son! I go the rest of my life as if I didn’t have a son because I didn’t know until I see him standing there in her office fresh out of the academy'' ''how did you know he was yours? You don’t look much like him he has blue eyes you have green and he has blond hair yours is dark'' I asked.

‘‘Look at him…he looks like me the only thing he got from that bitch is her hair and eyes but he's all me'' ''well if you want to be in his life then maybe you should come when you don’t need anything'' ''it’s not my fault if I know he hates my guts'' ''I’m done, I’m staying out of this now you want to resolve things with him be my guest. Just keep the blood off the walls and the fight away from my son or you'll both be very sorry'' I walked away. I went outside where Lina was talking in Vietnamese on the phone. She rolled her eyes at me as if to say whatever. She hung up a few seconds later and sighed leaning against the railing. ‘‘Why are parents so annoying?'' she asked. ‘‘I don’t know, because they are parents'' I shrugged giggling. I sat on the first step of the deck and she looked over her shoulder ''so who is that guy?''

‘‘He’s Smith's father'' ''I thought you said he was an orphan'' ''he is, but he knows his parents. He works for his mother…but she won’t claim him as such. And his father didn’t know about him until a few years ago, Miri is a bitch. I’m glad you've never met her'' ''no wonder why he doesn’t smile'' she snorted. ‘‘Why not just kill them?'' ''I don’t know'' I shrugged. ‘‘Too obvious maybe?'' I guessed. ‘‘Well I’m going to take a shower'' ''if you hear yelling just ignore it'' ''right...ok'' she laughed nervously. As she went inside Cerberus came outside and walked out to the yard. I sighed as I watched him and lay on my side. The deck was uncomfortable but my mind was too busy to register it. If Alistair knew that Gabe hated him then why bother coming around? If he needed something why couldn’t he just get it himself? Gabe makes good money, maybe Alistair isn’t an assassin? Or he could be one of those guys that blow it off quickly on booze and women. I don’t know. I was so distracted I didn’t see the clouds come in until the first raindrops hit my forehead. I looked up and scrambled to my feet ''Cerberus'' I called patting my thigh. He ran up to me and I smiled at my little beastie. ''Let’s go inside before the storm hits'' I scratched his head affectionately.

I closed the door right before the rain started pouring down and turned to the sink to clean the dishes and put away the leftovers. I went upstairs to my room to find Kyle wide awake. ‘‘Hi papa'' I cooed picking him up and rocking him. He was growing too fast! Soon another month would be added and another and another and before I know it he'll be one…one! My little boy was growing too fast. The door opened and I looked over my shoulder to find Gabe muttering to himself. I put Kyle down in his crib and sat beside Gabe.

‘‘Is he gone?'' ‘‘No'' he sighed. ‘‘He’s downstairs I just needed a minute'' ''any verdict?'' ‘‘That he's scum? Yes he's scum'' ''you know what I mean'' I giggled lightly. ''Shanell I’ve been angry with him for years what makes you think I’m going to forgive him now?'' ‘‘Forgive and forget, sometimes it’s necessary in a family'' ''I can’t just forget my pa-'' ''no you can’t, it'll always be there. But anger isn’t good for you'' ''that’s nice coming from the queen of anger problems'' ''hey at least I deal with my problems'' ''I already fought with Alistair I don’t want to fight with you too'' he laid his head in my lap. ‘‘Give him a chance…what could it hurt? Don’t get me wrong I see that man and I don’t trust him but he says he wants to make amends. Why not give him some time. If it doesn’t suit you then just forget it and go back to hating him'' I shrugged. He meshed his lips thinking it through. ‘‘Come on baby, he's your father…he didn’t know, give him a chance. I could understand blowing off Miri but he's here, he came to see you and he's trying'' I stroked his hair. Now that he was calm maybe he'd listen. ‘‘One chance?'' ‘‘One…it’s up to you he isn’t my father he's yours'' I cupped his cheek.

He stood up and paced a small circuit in front of me thinking it through. I stood up and grabbed his arms ''sweetie'' I made him look to me ''don’t over think it, all you'll do is give yourself a headache'' I smiled lightly at him. I lifted on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek ''just go with what your heart says, don’t use your mind sometimes the best things for us aren’t very sensible. Sometimes it’s just good to listen to our hearts then just tell it to shut up and do the smart thing'' I rubbed his cheek with my thumb. He nodded once and sighed.

‘‘Now why don’t you go try talking to him again? This time keep a bit of an open mind'' I smiled. ''I’m not closed minded-'' ''I didn’t mean it like that'' I giggled. ‘‘I know'' he leaned in kissing me. He walked passed me back out the door and I went to the closet and changed into my night gown. I crawled into bed but before I could close my eyes Lina was kneeling in front of me ''Nani'' she whispered dragging out my name. ‘‘What?'' ‘‘I can’t sleep…watch a movie with me?'' ''Ok'' I giggled sitting up. She was wearing her giant t-shirt and sofies. I patted the bed and she crinkled her nose ''I’d rather sit on the floor'' ''what?'' ''You and him...together…the bed spread tango…ew!'' ‘‘Oh my god you’re kidding me'' I rolled my eyes. ‘‘No I’m not…I’m still considered a teenager'' ''so?'' ''I’m not touching that bed'' ''ok ok we'll go to your room'' I laughed. ‘‘Better…I know there are no cooties there'' she smiled.

She fell asleep halfway through The Proposal. Right at the part where Sandra bullock and Ryan Reynolds collide into each other naked, I always liked that part because it was funny. I turned off the TV and tucked her into her bed since she fell asleep on top of the blankets. She groaned but didn’t wake up when I pulled the blankets on her. ''Nighty night'' I whispered as I left. I went downstairs to find Alistair and Gabe sitting on opposite couches talking seriously and quietly. I walked passed them to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water.