Dirty Laundry

Jared laughed nodding ‘’try working detail with her’’ ‘’rather be a suicide bomber’’ I sighed standing up to put Kyle down for his nap. ‘’you ok?’’ Gabe chuckled. ‘’Oh yeah just peachy, she just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside’’ I succeeded in making then both laugh. I laid Kyle in his crib and left quietly back downstairs. Gabe was taking some pain medication as Jared spoke to him about what he endured with Miri. ‘’You boys hungry?’’ I asked as I walked into the kitchen ‘’yes’’ they both nodded. ‘’ok I’ll make you boys some sandwiches’’ I went to the kitchen to take out the cold cuts and spreads.

‘’hey babe…I have a thing tonight’’ Gabe said quietly as we ate. I looked at his chest and rolled my eyes ‘’fuck if I can stop you’’ I sighed. He paused debating ‘’you’re not mad?’’ ‘’no, it’s your job just be careful. I realized how idiotic it is of me to over react to you getting hurt’’ I lifted one of his hands and looked at the light scars that crisscrossed his skin and the blotchy light pink scars that ran the length of his knuckles. They weren’t very noticeable but if you really looked you’d see them. He turned his hand palm side up so I wouldn’t look at the scars.

He says they don’t bother him but I knew the truth. ‘’I’m going to have to be more not worry some anymore, but it’s hard. I almost lost you once I’d die if I really did lose you, but I can’t keep you cramped in my protective bubble. Especially with your hazardous job, so I guess I’ll have to take a few chill pills and calm the fuck down. I’m a spastic person, I know I am. And don’t lie; I know it annoyed you to an extent. But can you blame me? I love you and maybe I just want assurance that this won’t be the last time I’ll see you’’ ‘’don’t you trust me?’’ ‘’oh yeah, you I trust it’s the rest of the scum in the world that has me on edge’’ ‘’then worry for yourself, the only fear I have is some lunatic merc coming here trying to kill me only to kill you accidentally’’ he took my hand and kissed my palm. Jared mock gagged at our affection ‘’geez you two should be on a fucking soap opera women would soak that shit up’’ ‘’fuck you Jared, you’re just jelly’’ I snorted using a word he favored in high school. ‘’yup that’s definitely it’’ he said dryly.

That night I grabbed Gabriel’s boots from the closet and laid them out with his pants and shirt. As I went to grab his coat he came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. He already had the bandage wrap in hand with some gauze. I laid my palm against his entwined skin with nylon. It was rough and soft at the same time. He was still a bit tender so he winced lightly at my touch. ‘’it’s going to scar’’ he placed his hand over mine pulling it away. ‘’So what if it does?’’ ‘’Do my scars bother you?’’ ‘’No, I like them, if you didn’t have any scars you wouldn’t be my Gabriel’’ I shrugged as I placed the gauze gently against his chest. He held it in place so I could wrap the bandage wrap. ‘’is your arm still sore?’’ I asked as I tucked the end of it in. he moved his shoulder in small circles testing his arm ‘’a little’’ ‘’do you want to take something before you go?’’ ‘’no, I don’t wanna lag’’ ‘’ok’’ I nodded as he picked up the pants and pulled them on.

Days passed with practically no action. He was going to leave soon and was a bit apprehensive to leave me with Matt. He even considered leaving me with Landon but then thought better of it since Landon took on more jobs than he did. I already had my bag packed and ready to go, it was only two weeks anyway so I wouldn’t need a lot of things. ‘’so what are we going to do about the assassins and this mysterious person trying to kill you?’’ ‘’We aren’t going to do anything, I’m going to find out at a safe distance from you-‘’ ‘’that’s not fair!’’ ‘’it wouldn’t be very fair if you died trying to help me so, the way I see it I don’t care what you think’’ ‘’oh really?’’ I challenged twisting my lip.

‘’don’t do that’’ he sighed ‘’do what?’’ ‘’that lip thing, come on you shouldn’t be so angry. Is it so much to ask for a little assurance that you’ll live? I mean come on, you’ve risked yourself enough for one life time’’ ‘’maybe I want a little assurance too, you’ve risked more than a thousand life times. Why can’t I worry?’’ ‘’you can, but at the end of the day this is my job. I was trained for this’’ ‘’and the fact of the matter is I love you, and that my love is a two way thing. Trained or not we’re in this together, if you go down I’m demanding blood regardless of what you want’’ I crossed my arms. He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

‘’woman, you are going with Matt. I don’t want to even hear that you’ve been snooping around the database…don’t think I’m stupid I know you’ve been on my computer’’ he pointed a finger at me. I looked away to keep my smile hidden. ‘’you left the program open, what can I say I’m a snooper’’ I shrugged. ‘’Shanell I mean it stay out of it let me deal with this and you just worry about yourself’’ he sighed as he cleaned one of his guns, preparing it to take with him when he left. I walked to him and took the gun from his hand and the polish from the other and set them aside. I scooted into his lap and held his face in my hands ‘’baby, I do worry about myself but I worry for you too. I love you it’d be ridiculous of me if I didn’t worry about you but if you want me to stay out of it and you whole heartedly mean it then fine. I’m out of this but that doesn’t mean I’m not there for you when you need me’’ I rubbed my thumb along his bottom lip. He kissed my thumb and nodded ‘’I don’t want you in this, when I come back this will all be sorted and I’ll tell you everything but until then just keep Kyle and yourself safe for me. ’’

Grudgingly I sighed and nodded ‘’fine, but just for you’’ I pecked the tip of his nose. ‘’now go get your things, I’ve got a plane to catch and you’ve got to go to Matt’s’’ ‘’I can’t get up if you’re holding me down’’ I laughed. He opened his arms smiling lightly. I left him in his office to get our suitcases. He followed shortly after getting Kyle from his room.

Standing here in the airport just made me fidgety. We left Kyle with Matt and I drove him to the airport in Va Beach. He only had one back pack for luggage. Simple and easy. It slung casually over his shoulder as we walked hand in hand to the terminal. I didn’t want him to leave of course but two weeks would go by quick right? Well to think about it it’ll be worse than the one night away from him when he went to Michigan. Ok this was so much worse it was eating me up. This time he was actually going overseas. Already checked in and everything we just waited for him to board. We just casually filled the time with bullshit small talk not wanting to say too much but enough for each other to understand. ‘’be careful ok’’ I laid my head on his shoulder. ‘’I will’’ he put his arm around me. ‘’don’t be reckless, if I have to go rescue your ass in Germany there will be hell to pay’’ I poked his ribs making him chuckle.

‘’ok ok stupidity will be left here’’ he kissed the top of my head. ‘’and stay away from them blond bitches your mine’’ ‘’wouldn’t dream of it’’ ‘’good’’ I giggled. They opened the door calling for the first class and we stood up. He picked me up squeezing me to him then kissed me ‘’I love you’’ I smiled once I was back on my feet a bit breathless ‘’love you too’’ then he turned picked up his backpack and walked onto the plane. I turned and left. It felt weird just walking away like that.

It wasn’t until I was seated in my car that it finally hit me. Two long weeks. ‘’I can do this’’ I told myself pulling out of the parking lot. ‘’yeah I can totally do this, I’m a strong independent woman…who just happens to be ridiculously in love with a commissioned assassin in the CIA. Oh yeah I can definitely do this’’.

‘’I can’t do this’’ I grumbled as I laid in bed that night. Kyle was in his crib next to me and Matt was in the room next door. Unlike Gabriel he downsized and lived in a small two bedroom apartment. It was cute and luxurious like a condo, very homey and comfy. It’d just feel much better if Gabe was beside me. I think it made it a bit harder since this was a new surrounding for me and there was nothing of home except for Kyle and his crib. At least at home I could roll over and pick up Gabe’s scent on his pillow. Here I just smelled the fresh scent of fabric softener on the clean sheets. There wasn’t anything familiar to ground me but it shouldn’t be this hard. I was used to hotels and moving around a lot this shouldn’t be any different. I sucked it up and closed my eyes falling asleep only to be awoken by Kyle because he wanted a bottle. Sure he was my little gift; I just wished that he’d grow out of the no sleeping stage soon.

Days passed by in blurs of playing with Kyle and talking to Matt. It was very boring, very slow. The days seemed to take forever, maybe it was just because I was staying with matt in his home and I wasn’t used to it yet or maybe I just felt weird without Gabe being here. I was sitting on the couch watching a movie as Kyle slept when matt came home. He crashed landed into the couch beside me ‘’may i?’’ he asked holding his legs up since I was in his way. I shook my head and his feet landed on my lap softly as he groaned then sighed. ‘’you know, my mother is a real slave driver’’ he said closing his eyes and cracking his knuckles.

I laughed not wanting to say anything mean but true. He opened one eye and looked at me ‘’what do you think of her?’’ he asked. I shrugged shaking my head and he snorted quirking his lip up ‘’you can tell me she’s a bitch it won’t offend me I lived with her all my life I know she’s a real pain in the ass’’ ‘’well if you already know what I think of her then why ask’’ I rolled my eyes. He shrugged ‘’sometimes stating the obvious is a good thing if people had suspicions. That way they are confirmed or denied’’ ‘’you suspected I hated her?’’ ‘’well everyone does after awhile’’.

‘’well it’s her own fault for being the way she is’’ ‘’I guess, but you gotta meet her mom if you want to know a real stuck up bitch. My grandmother is just cruel. We joke around that her cruelty killed grandpa’’ he laughed then sighed ‘’nah, he died of a stroke’’ ‘’oh I’m sorry’’ ‘’don’t be I was very young I don’t remember him much but what I do, he was a nice man. He didn’t deserve grandma or my mother as his daughter’’.

‘’well I’m going to bed, no doubt better get my sleep now before Kyle wakes up hungry’’ I stood up and set his feet down. ‘’night’’ he called. I climbed into bed and fell asleep almost as soon as my head touched the pillow. My dreams weren’t very easy though, I woke up later from a nightmare so fierce that I nearly jumped out of bed when I opened my eyes. It was one of those dreams where someone shot me and I fell from a roof top and I woke up from the falling. The jump of feeling like I’d really fallen into bed felt so real that I was gripping the sheets until my knuckles were white.

I took a deep breath holding it while counting to ten then releasing it as I laid back. It was just a dream. Probably from the movie I watched earlier. There was a lot of shooting and I know I’m one of those people that dream what they saw or did earlier that day. That’s also why I don’t play RPGs and zombie games. Once I woke up thinking my alarm clock was my life bar draining and I thought I was dying. Not to mention when I dream of zombies I attack whoever comes to wake me up. Yeah my dreams always screwed me over sometimes.

I was staring at the ceiling when my alarm clock went off five minutes later. I reached over and turned it off then rolled on my side to look at Kyle’s crib. He was awake but happy as a clam. Then again how could a clam be happy? I never understood that saying oh well he was happy. I propped myself on my elbow and smiled sitting up and pulling the crib towards me. I reached in and pulled him out whispering to him and kissing his little head. I laid back with him and set him to the side cuddling beside him. I loved the smell of him; it was the soft sweet baby scent that always made me smile.

His wobbly little hands reached to the sky as he squirmed staring off into heaven knew what. He was still so young and small but bigger than when I first got him. Nearly seven months now and he was able to sit up with help. His neck was getting stronger though he was still a bit wobbly. As his little fingers grabbed mine a strange thought occurred to me. Gabe’s assailant, who was it? He told me not to get involved but that just wasn’t me. Then again I promised. But was it so bad that I wanted to help him? no it wasn’t but he really…really didn’t want me to get involved. I had to stop thinking about it but it was really hard for me. I’ve always been the one to protect my family and finally this one time someone was protecting me and it was…weird.
I sighed shaking my head trying to clear it of anything that had to with whoever was after Gabe. They probably have a good reason, or worse a horrible pointless reason. But then why kill someone?

I stretched finally climbing out of bed. I blockaded Kyle with pillows since he started rolling around more. I pulled on my silk robe and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. My cell started ringing halfway through and Kyle started crying. Toothbrush in mouth I walked out grabbing the phone ‘’hello’’ I said turning to pick Kyle up to rock him. ‘’it’s me’’ Gabe’s voice said a bit too reserved for my comfort. ‘’babe you ok?’’ I asked as I set Kyle in his crib and went to the bathroom. ‘’…everything is fine’’ ‘’don’t give me that bullshit. I can hear it in your voice. Don’t do this to me Gabe we both know-‘’

‘’listen, I love you and I just want what’s best for you and this is one of those need-to-know kind of things’’ ‘’what if what’s best for me is the knowledge you’re with holding from me?’’ I grumbled. He chuckled lightly ‘’only you could make me laugh in such a traumatic situation. Please just don’t worry about anything. It’s over. We’re going to be just fine’’ ‘’I trust you Gabriel. I just wished you’d trust me a little more’’ ‘’even if it’s for your own safety’’ ‘’baby, when have I ever held anything from you?’’ ‘’…never. But this is different’’ ‘’ok, whatever’’ I sighed rinsing my mouth. I leaned against the sink just listening to him breathe on the other end. ‘’I’ll be home soon. I’m catching the next flight’’ ‘’ok’’ ‘’and…uh don’t be surprised when you see me’’ he said sheepishly.

‘’why?’’ I asked. ‘’I’m a little worse for the wear’’ ‘’…nothing fatal?’’ ‘’no, just flesh wounds. Little love taps you know’’ he tried to joke with me. I scrunched my lips up. ‘’mhmm’’ ‘’don’t ‘mhmm’ me’’ he sighed. ‘’what? I didn’t mean anything by it’’ ‘’I’ll be hom-‘’ he stopped short and shouted something harshly in German. I could hear a man’s voice faintly talking to him angrily. ‘’sorry about that’’ he sighed. ‘’no it’s all good’’ ‘’I’ll be home soon, don’t worry’’ ‘’don’t worry? You’ve had me worrying this whole time for you’’ I giggled. ‘’I love you’’ he said quietly. ‘’I love you too baby, just get your ass back here soon’’ I made a kissy noise.

He groaned ‘’please don’t make me do that back, I’m surrounded by other guys’’ ‘’man up Gabe, takes a bigger man to say I love you and kiss his girlfriend over the phone than anything else, muy macho’’ I laughed. I waited anticipating him to come back with something else. Instead he made those dreaded kissing noises. I nearly fell to the floor laughing ‘’I was joking hun, you didn’t honestly think I’d embarrass you in front of your men do you?’’ I giggled. ‘’she-devil from hell’’ ‘’love you’’ I giggled. ‘’I love you too’’ he sighed. ‘’don’t worry if they ever meet me I’ll make them think I’m a tyrant that way they’ll understand that if you didn’t do it then I’d rip your head off...both of them’’ ‘’ouch’’ ‘’you know I really wouldn’t though’’ ‘’yeah sure. Well I have to go, I’ll call you when I’m at the airport’’ ‘’ok see you soon bye’’

I was standing by the gate waiting for Gabe to get off his plane. Kyle was sleeping soundly in his car seat beside me. Matt groaned stretching out on the uncomfortable plastic airport chairs. I rolled my eyes at him. The doors opened and passengers started walking out. When I spotted Gabe I bit my lip and ran to him. He dropped his back pack scooping me up in his arms ‘’easy baby I’m a bit sore’’ he said huskily. ‘’I’m sorry, couldn’t help it’’ I looked down at him. My legs were wrapped around him as were my arms. I kissed him then let him go. He set me down carefully. It was then I noticed three men standing behind him. Ignoring them I looked at his face at the faint bruise. I smiled ‘’is that makeup?’’ I slowly slid my thumb across his face ‘’I can’t board a civilian aircraft with noticeable bruises on my face without causing an uproar’’ he chuckled. ‘’so, all’s well?’’ ‘’all is well’’ he nodded cupping my cheek. It was nice to be back in my home again even if I was gone for a couple weeks.

I sat up in bed watching Gabe as he was in the bathroom addressing a wound on his shoulder. ‘’need some help?’’ ‘’nah, I got it’’ he shook his head topping it off then turning to me. He crawled up to me ‘’I missed you’’ he whispered kissing my neck. I laughed rolling my eyes. ‘’me or my special parts’’ I grumbled. ‘’you, who else could nag at me and not drive me to the point of suicide’’ he chuckled. ‘’I don’t nag you’’ ‘’sure you don’t’’ he nodded sarcastically. He picked up a lock of my hair and dragged it across my cheek. ‘’seriously though, I missed you’’ ‘’I missed you too’’ ‘’I missed you too much, and I think it’s time that…well, would you marry me?’’ he asked sincerely. I looked for some trace of humor but I knew Gabe wasn’t the joking type.

‘’what?’’ I asked needing confirmation. He reached to the nightstand on his side and pulled out a small black box. ‘’I’ve been meaning to ask you for some time. I just didn’t know when would be the ideal time’’ he opened the box to reveal the ring. I just stared at the ring. I was speechless.

‘’this was stupid, forget it’’ he closed the box ‘’no, I’m sorry’’ I stopped him ‘’I’m just…speechless. Of course I’ll marry you’’ I smiled cupping his cheek. He opened the box again and pulled the ring out and slipped it on my ring finger.

It felt so surreal. This couldn’t possibly be happening! ‘’it’s so beautiful Gabriel’’ I said lightly. I turned my attention away from the ring and looked up at him. my injured baby. No matter what happened to him he still had enough strength to come home lay beside me and say he loves me. All the shit he’s been through and all the emotional turmoil of his life and yet he’s still capable of such a passionate emotion. No amount of injuries could mar him from me. He would always and forever be the most handsome man I’ve ever known. I cupped his cheeks pulling him to me into the sweetest kiss.

‘’Mrs. Shanell Kentigem’’ I smiled at the name. Gabe had fallen asleep a few moments ago. He was so tired and worn. I could feel his breath on my skin since his head was on my chest. My hand on his head I ran my fingers carefully through his hair. I wonder how my mother would react. How my sister would react. Would she ever forgive him? He did nearly kill her.
Then the thought of everything else. It was nearly anticlimactic how this ended. The bad guys are gone and yet it doesn’t necessarily feel over. Then again with Gabe who knows. This could be a natural occurrence, the natural order of things for being an assassin. Maybe to him it’s so second nature that he doesn’t even see them as a threat anymore. Would the cycle ever end? Would it always be so anticlimactic? For one thing I know I got my happy ending. I’m going to marry the man of my dreams and have a house full of little children.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face. Right now life couldn’t get any better or scarier. From here what now? It obviously is the end of this chapter but what about the whole book? Well the imagination is a good means of guessing. But from now on…I think I’ll just try to enjoy every day I have with my family.

The end