Dirty Laundry

There was a knock on the door as I burped Kyle. ''Come in'' I called lightly. The door opend and Matt poked his head in. ''Hey'' he smiled quietly. ''Hi'' I smiled and patted the bed. ''What are you doing out of bed?'' I narrowed my eyes playfully ''..I found this in the nightstand'' he held up my phone. ''I forgot about that'' I said quietly. He sat down on the end of the bed and looked at Kyle hesitantly as I layed him on the bed. Kyle kicked and flailed his arms making his little noises looking ever so adorable in his blue little onsie and striped blue and white hat and blue and white socks. He handed me the phone and I turned it on cringing. One hundred missed calls, over fifty text messages and all were from my mom, sister, and dad. I erased them all since they were all repetitive. 'Are you alright?' 'Call me' 'Whats going on?' 'Talk to me!' I felt a bit bad. I set my phone down and looked at Matt who looked at me curiously.

''Why was it in my room?'' ''I already told you..I spend a lot of time in there when Smith isn't here..'' I shrugged. ''OK'' he shrugged. He turned his gaze back to Kyle and I smiled. ''And this
is my little baby boy'' I picked him up and kissed him. His little hands on my face as usuall felt so comforting. ''How old is he?'' ''Seventeen days'' ''You had him recently'' he pointed out.
I nodded smiling at Kyle. ''He's my little pride and joy when I found out I was pregnant with him I was scared..and then I met Smith..I worked at the foodlion and he shopped there..
well one day he asked me out..I pointed at my belly and looked at him curiously like you know I'm pregnant right? He shrugged and asked if I was married or seeing someone and I shook my head..he insisted that food would be beneficial for the baby so I shrugged, and I started seeing him, and then I got fired..I really started to panic because I had no way to support me and my baby let alone the hospital bill I was going to get..and then Smith was there asking if I was OK inviting me into his home. I was in the hospital at the time but he was there the whole time he even payed my medical bill. I was surprised he'd spend that kind of money on me, He's a good man and then he adopted Kyle as his son..I'm so thankful for him'' i rubbed Kyle's hand softly.

My lie seemed to work since Matt smiled. ''..Wait..so you've never slept with him?'' he asked. I blushed looking down shaking my head. ''No'' that must have been the one truth out of my whole story. I'll have to fill Smith in later so he gets it right..or he could always tell them to shut up which I'm sure he'd rather do. ''He's a nice guy..'' ''He's very sweet and funny too'' ''..Really?'' he asked intrigued. I nodded. ''Yes..but he never smiles or laughs'' I sighed.

''Get used to it I've known him for years and I've never seen him smile or laugh either..the man just doesn't do it'' ''Not even when he was younger?'' ''No..he never spoke to anyone..I remember in highschool he'd sit there eat his lunch and not say a word to anyone, even when the teachers called up on him he'd never speak he'd sit there and ignore them..it wasn't until we joined the Airforce he started talking'' ''He told me he was an
orphan..is that true?'' I asked. Matt nodded grimly as if he knew somthing. ''Yeah it's true..'' ''What?'' i asked ''Nothing'' he shook his head looking down at Kyle. ''Would you like to hold him?'' I asked.

He looked up at me and I paused. his crystal blue eyes and light brown hair seemed sad but there was a likeness to him, he looked like he could pass as a relative of Smith's. ''I've never held a baby'' ''Neither has Smith but he seems to love Kyle'' I encouraged. ''OK'' he nodded. He held his arms up and I set Kyle in his waiting arms and adjusted them ''Hold his head up..there'' I smiled as Kyle settled in his arms and looked up at him.

''He's so small'' he said wonderously. ''How much does he weigh?'' ''I'm not too sure..when he was born he weighed five pounds two ounces..I havn't taken him to a follow up yet''

''How old are you?'' ''Nineteen'' I shrugged. ''And you know Smith is-'' ''Yeah..he's twenty-seven I know'' I nodded. ''That doesn't bother you?'' ''..Not really'' I shrugged. ''How old are you?'' I asked. ''Twenty-five'' ''Your yonger than-'' ''Yeah..I was a sohpmore when they were seniors but we still hung out'' ''Thats nice'' I smiled. ''Are you sure you know what your getting yourself into? Thats an eight year diffrence'' ''Eight years isn't that bad..at least it's not like I'm with Hugh Hefner or somthing'' I shrugged. ''But he's still older'' ''Yes..and?'' ''Well I guess if it's fine for you..I just don't understand'' he shrugged.

''You don't have to..it is what it is'' I laughed lightly. Kyle started getting fussy and his face turned red. ''..I think he's pooping'' Mat cringed. I laughed taking Kyle and laying him on the bed. ''Yeah well thats a good thing it meanst he's not sick'' ''Well I'm going to take a shower'' he sniffed his pits. ''OK I had to cut your clothes off you so I guess you'll have to borrow Smith's..it's in the closet'' I pointed to the closet door. He nodded getting up and taking a shirt and pants.

I changed Kyle's diaper and cleaned his umbilical chord stump again. It seemed like it would fall off any day now. I folded the diaper so that the stub was left in the open and put his onsie back on. ''Lets go downstairs'' I cooed. I was thankful he was a quiet baby..unlike my little sister that cried a lot..I'm surprised he hasn't gotten colicky but there was always time for that. I put him in his carseat and went about doing the laundry.

For dinner I made homemade chicken soup and rice. After dinner and many compliments Landon left for home. Matt stayed mostly because I insisted as well as Smith that he wasn't fit to drive let alone walk too much.

I took a shower and layed in bed. Smith was already in bed watching tv. Kyle had been a bit fussy when I layed him down but once he fell asleep he was all good. I snuggled under the covers and Smith turned off the tv. He put his arm around me and I couldn't help but feel comfortable. ''Sorry bout Landon earlier'' ''Don't mention it'' I shrugged. ''He's a pain in the ass'' he snorted. ''Arn't all friends?'' I ran my fingers over his arm. ''You have any friends like that?'' ''Well not an assassin but a pain in the ass yes'' I laughed. ''Who?'' ''My friend Beca. She means well but she can be a pain in the butt'' I smiled lightly as I thought about my friend. ''You miss her?'' ''Yeah she goes to Radford. We text but thats about it'' I shrugged.

''Does it bother you that I kill people for a living?'' he asked after a few minutes of silence. I paused my hand from running my fingers up and down his forearm. I rolled looking at him. His face was stone as if he dreaded I'd say yes. ''You look like someone died..relax'' ''Your avoiding my question'' ''No I'm not I just havn't answered yet, no I dont have a problem with your job'' ''Why not?'' he seemed a bit angered at my answer. I raised a brow at him. ''What do you mean 'why not'?'' ''I kill people shanell..kill'' ''I know..it doesn't bother me so long as you don't bring your work home..The mercenaries were a diffrent story though'' I shrugged cupping his cheek and stroaking his cheek with my thumb. ''Why are you so cool with this?'' he asked.

''Believe it or not when I was a kid I wanted to be an assassin and my father encouraged it'' I shrugged. ''Thats wrong'' ''To most people..but my father was an odd ball..my mother had a problem with it..she's a religious woman'' I shrugged. ''You know in most religions I'd go to hell for my job'' ''Then why do what you do?'' I shrugged running my hand up to his hair line. His sandy blond hair was soft almost feathery, it slipped through my fingers carressing my skin. He looked away thinking

''It's the only thing I know'' ''Do you like it?'' I pulled his face to me to look him in the eyes. He swallowed shaking his head ''Your the first to ask me that. No I dont like it'' ''I'm sure there
is somthing else you can do right?'' ''You can't teach an old dog new tricks'' ''Thats not always true..besides your still young'' ''It's comfortable'' ''The blood? the bodies? death? whats comfortable about that?'' ''I'm used to it'' ''That makes sense I guess'' ''What about you? you killed that man''

''Your not the only one who's comfortable with death and blood'' I winked.
''Then why are you questioning me?'' he was getting upset. ''I'm not..I'm just asking..I've only killed one man theres no excuse for it but you've killed more..not that is an excuse you've
just been doing it longer than me-'' ''Your never killing another person again'' he growled. ''OK I won't'' ''Don't patronize me'' ''I'm not'' I giggled. ''Calm down sweetie I'm not patronizing you'' I leaned in pecking his lips.

''How can you stand me after what I've done? What I've put you and your family through?'' he asked. ''What do you mean-'' ''Dont try to cover it up..I heard your phone before you turned
it off..I saw the caller I.D.'' ''My mother is a worry wart..I'm not gonna lie to you. She's probably traumatized..but I'm fine you didn't put me through anything'' I shrugged. ''Have you called
her?'' ''No'' ''Why not?'' ''..What am i to say?'' I sighed. ''Tell her your fine? I don't know''

''Now?'' ''It's better than later'' he reached over to the nightstand to grab my phone. ''Smith..it's late'' ''She's worried isn't she?'' ''Yes but-'' ''Then call her'' he pressed the phone in my hand. I pressed her speed dial and waited as it rang.

''Hello?'' my mother's voice sounded almost haunted. I bit my lip feeling a little guilty. ''Say somthing'' Smith whispered. ''..Mom?'' I said quietly. All of the sudden I heard sobs. I wasn't good with crying. Babies I could handle..full grown people..not so much. ''Mom stop crying'' I sighed. ''Where are you!? I was calling you like crazy and sasha told me what happend an-''

''Mom calm down'' I grumbled at her frantic panicked words. Her sobbing grew louder and I sighed closing my eyes ''I thought you were dead. Why would you do this to me?'' she accused more than asked. ''I didn't do anything mom-'' ''But you gone and sasha said you left willingly with that man- Oh..please tell me he didn't rape you or hurt you or somthing''

''I diserve that'' Smith grumbled. It almost made me laugh. ''No mom he didn't''
''How do i know? eh? como?'' she growled in spanish. ''Trust me? A little trust would be nice'' ''You I trust it's him I don't'' she grumbled. ''I'm fine..everything is fine. I just called to say hi'' ''Who is he?'' ''..Can't we talk?'' ''I want to know'' she insisted. ''His name is Smith..so far he's been really nice'' ''Are you eating right?'' ''Yes'' ''Bathing?'' ''Yes'' ''Deodorant?'' ''Yes mama..now stop asking things like that I'm not dumb'' I grumbled. ''Well I'll let you go I'm going to bed'' I said lightly. ''Where are you sleeping?'' ''..In a room?'' ''With a bed?'' ''No mom I'm sleeping in a pile of hay..of course I'm sleeping in a bed'' I rolled my eyes. ''With him?''

''..Yes'' ''Why?'' ''Theres an injured man in my room'' ''Why?'' ''He got hurt and he's staying over'' I shrugged. ''Are you involved with this Smith guy?'' ''..OK mom it's time for bed nighty night'' ''Shanell'' ''Night mommy love you'' ''Shanell'' ''Bye'' ''I love you'' she said hurried as I hung up.