Maybe It's Not My Weekend, But It's Gonna Be My Year

*1 month later, September 4 2011*
Rian’s POV
I walked into the arrivals of Baltimore airport with the band and the crew. It was the day of our last show, but I was mostly excited about seeing Jess again. She would come pick us up with her van, that she and her band bought to travel with their instruments. I looked around if I saw here somewhere. I then saw her, but apparently she saw us first since she was heading over to us, overly excited but looking beautiful as always. She walked straight up to me with a big smile and hugged me.
‘Hey babe’ I said smiling, as I put my arms around her and kissed her cheek.
‘I missed you’ she said softly, as she put her head on my chest.
‘I missed you too’ I replied.
She then lifted her head and looked at me. I kissed her gently.
‘Get a room you two’ Jack said.
‘Oh shut up, Barakat’ Summer said. ‘Let them have a moment’.
‘Yeah, why don’t you load the car?’ Matt suggested.
‘Yeah, I’ll help you’ Zack replied.
Jack, Zack, Matt Flyzik, Matt Colussy, Evan, Jeff, Vinny, Alex Grieco and Danny grabbed all the bags.
‘Could you interrupt your welcoming session for a moment to give me the car keys?’ Matt asked.
Jess pulled her lips away from mine, grabbed the car keys out of her pocket and handed them over to Matt.
‘Thanks’ he replied, and he and the guys headed towards the exit.
I looked at Summer and Alex.
‘Why are you still standing here?’ I asked.
‘I’m waiting till I can say hi to my best friend’ Summer replied.
‘Oh yeah…’ I said, and I let go of Jess, who went to hug Summer.
‘Well, let’s go’ Jess said as she let go of Summer.
Summer took Alex’s hand and I took Jess’. We walked out of the arrivals, towards the car, which wasn’t hard to find since everyone was waiting outside the van, pretty much blocking the road. We walked up to them.
‘Good, there you are, get in the van’ Matt told everyone, and for a change we all listened.
Matt ended up driving us to the venue. He would first drop me, Jess, Alex, Jack, Zack and Summer off at Alex’s and my house so that we could just spend the rest of the day there instead of being bored at the venue, while the crew would get things ready there. Matt pulled over in front of our house and we got out. We walked up to the house, when Jess stopped us.
‘Okay before you go in, I would like to tell you that, after that party I threw with your permission, I didn’t have the time to clean very well since I’ve been very busy with band practice’ she said sanctimonious.
‘How bad is it?’ Alex asked.
‘It’s not that bad…’ she replied.
Alex walked past her and opened the door. We walked in. I had cleaned up a lot – I spend every free moment I had trying to have it cleaned before they would come home – but the floor on part of the living room was still covered with plastic cups, beer bottles, food and everything else you could find on the floor of a party scene.
‘Was the whole floor that messy?’ I asked, pointing at the one corner that she hadn’t cleaned yet.
She nodded.
‘Well, then you must have spend a lot of time cleaning’ I said.
‘I did… I spend some nights here cleaning’ she said. ‘But I will clean it’
‘It’s okay, we’ll just call someone to do it. You have to practice for your performance’ I said.
‘Well not today, the guys are practicing without me’ she replied.
‘Why not? Because of us? We could just come with you and watch you practice’ I said.
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know.. It’s okay, we’ll just practice tomorrow’ she said.
I looked at her. I knew her, and I could tell she was really nervous for this performance and that she thought they weren’t good enough and didn’t practice enough.
‘Jess, you and I both know that practice is where you wanna be right now’ I said.
‘Yeah, you should go’ Summer agreed with me. ‘I wanna watch you sing!’
‘Fine…’ Jess said, and she grabbed her phone out of her pocket, probably to call Matt, Nate or Pete.
After a short phone call she hung up.
‘They’re practicing at my house right now’ she said.
‘At your house? While you’re not home?’ Rian asked.
‘Well, yeah, our equipment is in my garage. We don’t have a crew who carries our equipment everywhere’ I joked. ‘Well, let’s go then. Are you coming or not?’
They all nodded.
‘I’m not sure that will fit in my garage though, but we’ll try’ she said.
We all walked outside, to Jess’ house which was very close. Jess went inside and we followed her, straight to the garage, where it was very noisy.

Alex’s POV
The guys stopped playing as they saw us coming down the stairs.
‘I brought some friends’ Jess told them.
We knew her band. After all, I had been in a band with all of them in ninth grade. But then I was kicked out by Dave, who was also in the band, because I made out with his girlfriend, who was – now that I think about it – actually Jess. We were together for a while soon after that. Jess, Matt, Nate and Pete soon quitted and started their own band. We had always been friends with them. Matt, Nate and Pete all came up to us to welcome us. We then went back upstairs to have a drink together before they would continue practice. We mostly talked about our tour and how excited they were about their performance.
‘I’m really nervous though’ Jess said after Nate said how excited they were. ‘I’m sure I’m gonna mess it up’
‘Jess, you never mess up’ Matt said. ‘You always think you will but you never do.’
‘Yeah, you didn’t mess up at that bar last week’ Pete said.
‘You performed at a bar last week?’ Summer asked.
‘Yeah… I guess I forgot to mention that. We’ve actually been playing quite a lot of bars lately’ Jess said.
‘Really? Why didn’t you tell me that?’ Rian asked.
Jess shrugged. ‘It didn’t seem so important’ she replied.
Nate, Pete and Matt looked at her surprised, but didn’t say anything.
‘Of course it’s important’ Rian said.
‘No, it’s not. You play at huge sold out venues, it’s just a bar’ Jess said.
‘Jess… That doesn’t make you any less better than us, nor does it make me any less proud of you! So will you just stop thinking that and let me know whenever you have a show?’ Rian said.
‘Fine’ she said.
‘Yeah, we started at small bars as well’ I said. ‘You gotta start somewhere’.
‘The point is, Jess, that you’re not gonna mess up. You’re gonna be great and they will love you’ Pete said. ‘Anyway, would you guys mind it if we would play some All Time Low songs at the performance?’
‘No of course not!’ Jack said, looking at me, Zack and Rian. ‘Right?’
‘Right’ I replied. ‘Of course we wouldn’t mind. What are you gonna play anyway?’
‘A few original songs, some All Time Low, Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy, Every Avenue, The Maine, Hey Monday, Paramore, We Are The In Crowd, you know’ Jess replied.
‘You have original songs now?’ I asked curiously.
‘Yeah, I’ve been writing’ Jess replied. ‘They’re not very good though’.
‘She’s just being modest’ Nate said. ‘They’re great songs. She’s a good song writer, she just needs to have more faith in herself’
‘Are we gonna hear them today?’ Zack asked.
‘I don’t know, maybe’ Jess replied, looking at the guys who shrugged.

‘Well, let’s go practice’ Jess suggested when we all finished our drinks.
We upped and walked towards the garage. Matt grabbed his guitar, Pete his bass and Nate sat down behind his drums. Jess did some vocal exercises first, and then walked up to the microphone and stood behind it.
‘So, any requests?’ she asked.
‘What can you play?’ I asked them.
‘Pretty much every All Time Low, Hey Monday, Paramore and Simple Plan song’ Jess replied.
‘Okay’ I said, looking at Zack, Jack and Rian. ‘Which song do you think they don’t know?’
‘Oh you wanna play it that way?’ Jess asked. ‘Go ahead, you’re not gonna find one we can’t play. Remember that our band exists longer than yours. As soon as you released a new record, we would learn all the songs’.
‘Fine, play Memories That Fade Like Photographs’ Jack said.
‘Will do’ Jess said.
‘I doubt we can still play that one’ Jack said.
‘I doubt you were ever able to play it’ I replied to Jack.
They started playing Memories That Fade Like Photographs, which was one of the first songs we ever produced from our first EP. It was cool to see that they enjoyed performing just as much as we did. They were very energetic. Jess would hardly stand still, but she was always like that.

‘I’m not saying it sounded good, but there, we can play it’ Jess said.
‘We have our own jukebox here’ I said.
‘Yeah, so what do you want know?’ Jess asked.
‘Bad Enough For You’ I replied.
‘Here you go’ Jess said.
They played Bad Enough For You.

Zack’s POV
‘So do you know any songs which would be nice to play at the performance?’ Matt asked after they finished Bad Enough For You.
‘Which songs are you playing?’ I asked.
‘Well, I’m not gonna tell all of them, but from your songs, we’ll play Lost In Stereo, Heroes, Painting Flowers, Just The Way I’m Not… Uhm…’ Jess started.
‘Break Your Little Heart, Coffee Shop Soundtrack, Keep The Change, A Party Song, Six Feet… and some more’ Pete finished.
‘Wow, isn’t your set list gonna be kind of All Time Low dominated?’ I asked.
‘No, we can play as long as we want, so we have a lot of songs we could play. We’ll see which ones we’ll play then… Depends on the crowd as well.’ Matt said.
‘So what about those original songs?’ Rian asked. ‘Are we gonna hear them?’
‘Some day? Yes… Maybe…’ Jess said.
‘Just play them now’ Rian said.
‘You just wanna know if they’re about you’ Jack said. ‘Admit it’
‘Well if that’s true, I’m gonna have to disappoint you’ Jess said. ‘They’re about my other boyfriend, Matt’.
‘Wait, what?’ Matt asked. ‘I thought we were keeping that a secret?’
‘Yeah, I don’t buy it Jess, sorry’ Rian replied.
‘Damn’ she said. ‘But I don’t know, they’re about things… Not necessarily about you or anyone else. I like to keep it vague’
‘Are we gonna hear them or not?’ Alex asked.
‘Yeah, just do one’ Summer said.
Jess looked at the guys, who shrugged.
‘Fine, we’ll do one’ she said. ‘This one is called ‘Friday’. No, okay, it’s called ‘Damaged’’
‘Well, that sounds like a happy song’ Jack said.
‘Shut up, Barakat’ Alex said.

They started playing. You could tell Jess wrote this song herself since it seemed to make her more emotional than the covers they just played. You could tell it was her story she was telling. It was a good song though. Both the lyrics, the melody and Jess’ voice with it were great. I figured it was about the time after Jess’ father died. That was a really hard time for her. She was only 18 when it happened. I remembered that year pretty well. We often hung out at Jess’ house so we all knew her father and he was cool, so it wasn’t easy for us either.

One day when we were at the skate park with Alex, Jack, Rian and Summer Jess got a call from the hospital. Her father collapsed at his work and was rushed into the hospital. We immediately went to the hospital with her. We waited outside while Jess was in the room with her father who was still unconscious. It really was heartbreaking to see Jess as upset as she was then, especially considering the fact she was tough and hardly ever cried about anything. Jess’ parents divorced when she was 15. She lived in Baltimore with her father while her mother lived in New York, so she wasn’t anywhere near either. Jess hardly left the side of her father’s bed, only to ask us if we could call her mother, which we did obviously. Her mother tried to get there as soon as possible, but she wasn’t there yet when the doctors told Jess her father had cancer. It was developed so far that they couldn’t help him. He would only have a couple of months left. I remember we all sat there crying in the hallway after she told us. None of us knew what to say to her to make her feel better. Well, I guess nothing could make her feel better at that moment. Those next few months weren’t much easier than that day. Jess spend a lot of time at the hospital and she found it very hard to let us in, even Summer. Rian and Jess weren’t together yet back then. It took some time, but after a couple of months she started to let us in, luckily. She could really use us. At least, that’s what her mother said, and I guess they were right. A few weeks later her father died. As if things weren’t hard enough already they obviously got harder after that. Those couple of months were probably the worst of Jess’ life. No one except for me, Rian and her mother knew, but she had been cutting herself and even tried to commit suicide. Luckily she failed. Rian and I knew, because we were the ones who found her, about to hang herself. It was horrible. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sight of her standing on her bed with that rope around her neck. Rian and I then realized something had to change: she couldn’t do this again. What if she would try again and no one would be there to stop her? The next couple of weeks we wouldn’t leave her alone. Alex, Jack and Summer didn’t know why we couldn’t leave her alone but they didn’t ask questions about it. At that moment she hated us for keeping an eye on her so closely, but she’s thankful for it now. Especially Rian spend a lot of time with her then, and that’s when they got closer and closer, and eventually started dating. It was mostly Rian who got her through that time. After a while things got better. She has had therapy for a while, but it was mostly Rian who made things better for her. She learned to deal with the loss of her father and to see the beauty of life again. She was now happier than ever.

Jack’s POV
We applauded as the song ended. Jess had teary eyes. It was obvious that she wrote this song herself, and that it was about her father. It was a really good, but sad song.
‘That was really good’ I said.
Alex, Zack, Rian and Summer, who had teary eyes as well, nodded.
‘Thanks’ Jess said shyly.
‘Told you so’ Nate told Jess.
‘It’s about your dad right?’ I asked, just to make sure since the lyrics were kind of metaphorical.
Alex, Zack, Summer and Rian looked at me with ‘you can’t ask that, she doesn’t want to talk about it’-faces. I was going to apologize and say she didn’t have to answer that, when she did anyway.
‘Yeah, it is’ she replied, wiping away her tears. ‘I actually wrote this one a long time ago, right after he died. I just didn’t dare to sing it until now’.
‘Are you sure you should sing this at your performance?’ Rian asked. ‘I mean, it’s a great song, but it’s also really personal and emotional’.
‘I have to do this’ she said. ‘For him… He wouldn’t want me to be afraid to sing it live’.
Rian didn’t know what to say to this.
‘So, what song now?’ Jess asked, to change the subject.
She never liked talking about her father, and we all understood and respected that.
‘Why don’t you pick a song yourselves? One you like playing’ Rian suggested.
They discussed for a moment, and Jess then walked back to her microphone.
‘This next one is called Shake It’ she said grinning.
‘No! Don’t do this to us!’ I exclaimed.
‘Do you honestly enjoy playing that one?’ Alex asked.
‘No, but I do enjoy seeing your faces while playing it’ Jess said grinning.
‘Please, play another song, anything, but not that one!’ I begged them.
‘Fine, we’ll play another one’ Jess said. ‘This one’s called The Ballad Of Mona Lisa by Panic At The Disco’
‘That’s better’ I said with a satisfied grin.

They started playing the song.
‘Hey, can you play It’s A Picture Of My Cock On Your Computer?’ I asked after they finished.
‘Dude, what?’ Alex asked me.
‘In fact, we can’ Jess answered. ‘It would just be very awkward considering the fact I don’t have a cock.’
‘That’s what you say, but secretly…’ I said.
‘Trust me, she doesn’t’ Rian said bored.
‘Dude... No, just no.’ I said.
‘What did you expect? That I didn’t know that?’ Rian asked.
‘Hey, can you please not have this conversation when I’m in the room? I feel kind of awkward’ Jess said.
‘We can have it when you’re not here?’ I asked.
‘Yes, as long as you won’t tell me about it’ Jess replied.
‘Yeah, but we’re not going to do that’ Rian said.
‘I think we should add it to our set list though’ Pete said randomly.
We all looked at him.
‘Add what to the set list?’ I asked.
‘Picture Of My Cock, obviously’ Pete replied.
‘Well, you’re slow’ Alex noticed.
‘Yeah, you get used to that’ Jess said. ‘But we’re not adding it to the set list! It’s inappropriate’.
‘So are most of our songs’ Alex said.
‘Yeah, but not that inappropriate’ Jess replied. ‘By the way, shouldn’t we get something to eat? You’ll have to leave soon’.
‘Yeah, Rian, go order pizza’ I said.
‘Why do I have to do it? I’m not your slave’ Rian replied.
‘But…’ I started.
‘I’ll do it’ Jess interrupted me, as she walked towards the stairs, and walked upstairs. ‘You’re gonna have to come with me, because I don’t know what you want’.
We all followed her and sat down in the living room while Jess ordered pizza.