I've Got the Guts to Say Anything

Friday. My half day at work. A god-send from the Heavens. Heaven on earth in the form of shopping in Tesco.

It wasn’t that I hated my job so much that I wanted to leave it, I liked my job an alright amount, I suppose. It was just that, by Friday, I’d always had enough and almost always it was guaranteed that I wanted to slit my throat than do a few extra hours work sat behind a desk, answering a phone and passing messages on to the CEO of some major corporation that I wasn’t even interested in. Joseph had gotten me my job as a personal assistant to the boss of some company I didn’t even know the name of, even though its logo was printed perfectly on the top of each piece of paper I’d ever written on in my life while working there. I’d always had a ‘selective’ memory, a talent I’m sure pretty much [i[everyone in the world would love to possess, I just never remembered what it was.

So, here I was, in Tesco, taking my sweet ass time doing the weekly shop, on my own, as usual. Joseph never lent his hand in domestic happenings like shopping (He’d only ever venture to the shops if beer was needed in the house) or gardening or such things like that, which meant I had to do them all on my own, which I never really complained about, at all. Even if the bags were heavy. I was thankful for the few hours I had on my own away from my apartment and Joseph inside of it.

“You know, we’ve never spoken, and in the space of two days, I’ve seen you in an environment where I can start a conversation with you twice.” A familiar voice said from behind me as I reached up to the top cereal shelf to grab a box of cornflakes. It was obviously Josh from the coffee shop.

“Well, aren’t you the lucky one.” I forced a smile as I put the box of cereal in my trolley, turning to face him for the first time that day.

Just like he was in the coffee shop yesterday, he had some random shirt on that said ‘Down But Not Out’ on it, he had a pair of black jeans on, a plain black hoodie and a pair of converse. There was no doubting that he was beautiful, but I rather quickly rid my mind of any thoughts, and replaced them with thoughts of what Joseph would do if he found out I’d been talking to someone new, who declared us as friends because we were on full name basis. I failed though, and went straight back to thinking about how beautiful he was when he spoke next.

"You're very defensive seeing as we've barely had a proper conversation. Do I really look that horrible to talk to?" He spoke, taking one hand from the pocket in his hoodie, rubbing the back of his neck, “Actually wait, don’t answer that!” He exclaimed, putting the same hand out in gesture for me to stop the obvious sentence coming out of my mouth.

“Well, what can I say, when you’re not used to having friends, you get defensive.” I mumbled, rubbing my face with my hands.

“I thought we already decided that we were friends?” He queried, smiling at me, “That means you have no need to be defensive around me.” He put his hands back in his pockets, “You really need better excuses, Paige,” He laughed, trying to lift the mood that was hanging over us, failing miserably.

“Well, I haven’t had friends in ages, so I’m really not used to it, okay?” I said, all but snapping at him.

Josh looked at me in shock, “Oh,” Was all he said, before a long pause, “"I didn't mean it like that - um - Shit, I'm sorry," He rubbed his neck again, which was becoming a trait I really couldn’t stand about this boy.

“It’s fine, I’m sorry I snapped at you, there was no need for it.” I sighed, putting my head in my hands, shaking it slightly before looking back at him.

As soon as I’d apologised to him, his smile was back on his face in an instant, “No, it’s cool, it was my fault anyway.” He paused again, “Hey Paige, what are you doing tonight?”

“Oh, nothing I don’t think, why?” I asked, smiling back at him for the first time.

I saw his smile get a little wider when he noticed I was smiling, “That’s great!” He exclaimed, coughing once he realised that he’d been a bit too enthusiastic, “I mean, if you like, you could come to a show I’m playing with my band tonight?” He asked.

“Oh, I don’t know, it’s not really my scene.” I spoke, running my hands through my hair out of nervous habit.

He smiled at me, once again, in a way much like a child would when they really wanted something, "You seem like the kind of girl that would fit in anywhere: you must be polite because otherwise you would have more than likely told me to leave you alone by now, and you're nice enough to actually make conversation," He rubbed the back of his neck again, "and just sweet and," he paused, before mumbling, “Really pretty.” He started grinning again, “I think you’d fit in just fine.”

“Did you just call me pretty?” I asked, “No-one’s called me pretty in such a long time.” I mumbled, “But honestly, it really isn’t my kind of thing, I’m sorry.”

“You look especially pretty when you smile.” He grinned, "And you smiled when I asked you if you were busy, so something tells me you're quite excited about the prospect of going out," He paused for just a moment, “Or maybe, you were just hoping i would ask you on a date," He said, winking slightly before nudging me.

I felt my face drop a little at the ‘date’ comment, but decided to try and hide it, “I don’t go out, so I wouldn’t know where to start even if I did go out, I’d be more of burden than anything else, so maybe it’s just best I don’t come.”

“You wouldn’t be a burden!” He exclaimed, verging on the downright shouting, He calmed himself down a bit before continuing, “I think you're thinking this through too much. It's just a show, you'll have a tonne of fun and we'll get to hang afterwards. It'll be cool!"

He was making it rather difficult to refuse, but I knew that Joseph wouldn’t approve, so instead of fighting with him and getting close to getting a slap round the face like the other night, I decided it best not to go, “Josh, I really don’t think it’s the best idea for me to go, I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

"You don't need to say sorry, because you're coming. I know you want too; I can see it in your eyes!" His tone was a joking one, which soon swapped to quite a serious one, “Seriously, though. You said you don't have many friends," He paused and took his time to look at me properly, “So let me be your friend?” He smiled, "You don't even have to do anything! Just turn up, say hey. If you really hate us you can leave straight after!"

“Alright then.” I sighed and paused, “I don’t have anything to wear though.” I sighed, thinking to my wardrobe that was practically full of clothes for work and nothing else.

Josh grinned when he realised I’d said yes, “Awesome!” He said, before stewing over what I’d said before, “Oh! Do you want to go shopping now or something?” He asked, which kind of made him a bit adorable, considering he was going to do anything to get me to this concert tonight, “Or you could just go naked.” He smirked.

“In your dreams.” I laughed, “It’s alright, I really should be getting home anyway.” I said, “I just need to know if you’ll pick me up or whether I need to drive myself there.”

I saw him smirk a little at the first part of my sentence before he composed himself, “I’ll definitely pick you up m’lady.” He smiled, “I’m literally so glad you’re coming, you have no idea!”

“I don’t see why, I’m really not the greatest company.” I smiled, feeling myself blush, which was completely unusual for me.

“You seem like great company to me!” He smiled.

“Thanks Josh,” I laughed, “What time were you thinking tonight?”

“Erm, about 6? Is that okay for you?” He asked.

“Sounds perfect to me.” I smiled.

“Okay, well, I’ll see you then!” He started to walk away from me before he turned back around, “Bye Paige.” He bit his lip a little and waved awkwardly, which I returned, even though he’d turned his back.

“Goodbye Josh.” I whispered to myself, turning the opposite way to get the hell out of this damn place.