I've Got the Guts to Say Anything

“Paige, I’m going out!”

I sighed to myself as I hooked my necklace back around my neck. In some aspects, I was glad Joseph was going out, it meant I didn’t have to make up a lie about where I was going so late and dressed so well, but I was tired of him going out all the time and splashing what very little money we had left over each month on getting wrecked and then blaming me when we didn’t have enough money for certain things.

“Alright, I’ll see you later!” I called back, pressing a button on my phone to illuminate the screen.

It was nearly seven, and after Josh had hunted me back out at the supermarket to ask my address, I was pretty sure that anytime now he’d be here to pick me up. I just hoped he didn’t bump into Joseph on the way up. I had just enough time to put my phone in my bag and get a drink of water before Josh knocked on the door.

“Hello pretty lady.” He greeted me with a cheeky smile.

“Hello Josh.” I smiled back, taking a pen from a jar by the door and the small jotter pad that sat next to it.

“What are you doing, love?” He asked, raising one of his eyebrows as I began writing.

“Oh nothing,” I smiled, putting the pen back, ripping the started note out. Joseph didn’t need to know where I was going – I’d probably be back before him anyway.

I locked the door behind me and ran the little way to catch up with Josh, who had already pressed the button to call the lift.

“You’re so lazy.” I commented, putting my foot on the top step to go down the stairs, “Some exercise will do you good!” I laughed.

“Oh, I see how it is.” He laughed, “I’ll race ya!” He shouted, as he got into the lift. I laughed and shook my head to myself, taking my heels off my feet and running down the stairs.

“How the hell did you do that!?” Josh exclaimed as the door to the lift opened to reveal me, shoes in hand, waiting for him.

I simply held up my shoes and shook my head, putting them back on my feet, to walk outside with him.

“I hope you don’t mind but, I don’t drive, so we’ll have to get a cab.”

“Oh, no, that’s fine, but we could take my car? I drive.” I laughed, holding up my keys.

“Well, only if you’re sure, you might want a drink or something.” He said.

“Oh, I don’t drink, so it’s fine.” I smiled at him, taking hold of his wrist to drag him to my car.



“If you pull in over there,” Josh began, pointing to a small alley, where various vans and cars were already parked, “Your car will be safe there and people won’t ambush me if we try and walk around the front to the back door.”

I looked at the venue as we rounded the front, the amount of kids stood outside wearing practically nothing amazed me, I had no idea Josh’s band were as big as this. The big ‘sold out’ letter’s on the front of the venue amazed me even more because even if his band were playing the Brixton Academy, I had no idea they were popular enough to sell it out. Although I didn’t go to concerts, I knew my venues from a short stint with a guy back in secondary school who had been a concert junkie.

“You look surprised love,” Josh smiled at me as I pulled up behind a van that wasn’t being loaded out of, “Wasn’t expecting a big band, eh?”

“Not really.” I smiled awkwardly, dropping my keys into my bag.

“Well, hopefully, you’ll still have a good time,” He smiled, opening his door, “We should hurry though, my band mates are going to have my balls if we take any longer.”

I smiled and got out myself, pressing down the lock on my door to lock the rest of the car before I shut it completely. I followed Josh into the venue and through a maze of corridors full of people checking equipment, talking to each other and generally rushing around.

We came to a stop outside a door that had an A4 piece of paper stuck on the door that had the words ‘You Me At Six – Dressing Room,’ printed on it. I wrinkled my nose up, trying to understand the band name, hearing Josh laugh from beside me.

“You look really confused.” Josh laughed, “I’m sure ‘You Me At Six’ isn’t that hard to comprehend.”

“It just sounds a bit funny, that’s all.”

Josh knocked on the door in front of us swiftly three times and then opened the door, taking hold of my wrist firmly. I don’t know what I was expecting from Josh’s bad mates, maybe some serious guys who were sat around contemplating what it was they were doing with their lives, or something like that – but it certainly wasn’t three guys completely running riot and one guy trying his hardest to calm them down.

“Guys!” Josh all but shouted at the four other men in the dressing room, “We have a guest.” He smiled, pointing at me. I waved at the guys who had stopped their riot-like behaviour to look at me, all of them waved back, “That’s more like it.” Josh sighed with happiness as he pulled me into the room even more, shutting the door closed behind him.

“Are you going to introduce us, Josh?” One of the guys asked as he cracked open a can of beer, “You want one love?” He asked me.

“No, I’m fine thank you.” I smiled, “I’ve got to drive home later anyway.”

He nodded his head at me and continues passing beers to everyone in the room as Josh rubbed the back of his neck, “So yeah, this is Paige guys.” He said, pointing at me and in turn, introduced me to each of the guys, who I found to be Max, Matt, Chris and Dan. They we’re lovely guys and didn’t let the awkward air last very long, as they were soon getting ready to go on stage.

“I’m going to take you to the stage side where you can watch now, because I’ll be too pumped after our huddle to think of anything else besides playing this show.” Josh smiled, taking hold of my wrist, which slipped to rest with my hand in his.

Josh placed me on top of a large empty equipment box and told me not to move. I smiled and waved him off as he went back to his dressing room. I took out my phone and checked for messages, to which I had none.

“Hey, are you Paige?” I heard from beside me.

“Yeah, that’s me.” I smiled; a rather large guy covered in tattoo’s was stood next to me with what looked like a pint of coke.

“Max told me to give this to you; he says he’ll pay for your cab home.” I took the drink from him and waited for him to leave before I sniffed out what was actually in the cup. Vodka. I laughed and then took a sip; I might as well enjoy it if I’m getting a free cab home.

I was nearly half done with my drink when Josh arrived back from his ‘huddle’ with the rest of the guys, all of them looked completely ecstatic to be about to play.

The show itself was amazing. The guys had so much energy on stage, Josh included, and from what I could see, they had some amazing fans. I couldn’t really understand the music and I made a note to search them when I got home and actually could understand what it was Josh was singing. Soon enough, the guys came off sweaty profusely, high-fiving each other and throwing things into the crowd for the fans.

“Josh, that was so good!” I exclaimed, hugging him.

“Thanks love! Means a lot coming from you!” He smiled, grabbing a towel to wipe himself dry.

It didn’t take long for us to find ourselves in the cab on the way home, after saying goodbye to the guys and having Max thrust a £20 note into my hand, following his promise to pay for my cab home.

“Hey Paige, can I ask you something.” Josh asked.

“Sure,” I said, lifting my head to look at him.

“Well,” He paused to think, which was probably because he was slightly more than intoxicated, “You said a little while ago that you had a therapist.”

“Mmm Hmm.” I mumbled, “What about it?” I asked.

"I guess I just wondered why? I've never known anyone with a therapist before - or at least, they haven't been honest about it if they did have." He spoke, itching his nose as he did.

“Because I’m fucked up, Josh.” I mumbled, “That’s why.”

"You don't seem that fucked up to me," he mused, "You seem pretty normal, if truth be told."

“That’s because you didn’t know me before I went into therapy.” I sighed, snuggling into his side even more than before.

"You can't have been that different. Surely your outlooks and general morals were the same? And I'm sure you were just as lovely then as you are now." He said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

“To be honest Josh, you didn’t know me back then, so don’t judge me, alright?” I snapped, immediately regretting my sudden outburst.

He laughed a little before mumbling, “Remind me never to try and compliment you again love!”

“Oh shut up Josh.” I sighed, moving away from his body.

"Seriously, Paige, I'm not judging you or anything of the sort. You know yourself better than I do; I just don't think you seem unhinged in the slightest - you're a bloody laugh a minute to be around," He smiled his cheeky smile at me, "and I mean that in a good way," He added quickly, probably to avoid the abuse I was bound to give him if he did carry on.

I sighed again, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.” I spoke, “It’s just a touchy subject.”

He nodded, “I wasn’t trying to annoy you,” He paused, “And you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to!”

“It’s just not something I’m keen on talking about in general.” I said, “We’re at my apartment anyway.” I pointed out of his window as the cab driver pulled in, “I wouldn’t normally do this, but do you want to come up?”

“You don’t have to feel obliged love.” He spoke.

“Oh, I insist Josh.”

“Well, only if you insist.” He smirked, following me into the building after he threw the £20 note from Max at the driver, telling him to keep the change.