Forgotten Kisses.

For a moment, it was hard to breathe. Was he really standing in front of me? After all of this time avoiding and ignoring me, the one time I’m not looking for him, he shows up right in my face.

My mouth widened and I didn’t know what to say. “I- I- Where’s Max?” I said in tears. “I need to see Max.”

Josh furrowed his brows at my behavior and ran his hand up to his hair. “He went to the store to get some more beer, he’ll be back in a minute.” He seemed utterly uncomfortable to be in my presence and it wasn’t a surprise why.

I needed to wait for Max, I wasn’t just going to return back to Alex and let him slap me across the face again. I turned my face straight forward, as it had been turned slightly to peer into the apartment and Josh caught sight of the side of my face, which had been yellowing and bruising already.

“Jesus, what the fuck happened to your face, Lia?” He no longer was quiet and reserved as he grabbed a hold of my hand and pulled me in the apartment. He walked me over to the livingroom under better light and examined my face closely. “Lia..”

I tried to keep the tears from falling, but the way he was looking at me, it was too much. My tears flowed even more than they had when I arrived and his arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders, holding me close. “Lia, what is going on?”

“It was an-an accident.” I barely got out, my lips unable to form a perfect sentence. “I just need to talk to Max.”

Josh let out a deep sigh and grabbed a hold of my hand once again, heat rushing through me. “Come on, you need to put some ice on that.” He sat me up on the counter, my body seeming effortlessly light as he set me up, and reached into Max’s freezer pulling out a bag of frozen peas. He watched with careful eyes as he brought it to my cheek. I flinched immediately at the touch and he closed his eyes tightly, letting out a deep breath.

“This isn’t a fucking accident, Lia.” I placed my hand over Josh’s that held the peas, and he slid his hand off slowly once I had a grip on them. I could tell he was angry with me and I didn’t know what to do. Wasn’t he done with me? Didn’t he tell me to just stay away?

“Mate, I got such a fucking deal! The beer was half off!” Max’s voice rung out through the apartment and I heard his footsteps growing closer.

“Dude, there was this-“ his voice cut short when he caught sight of us in the kitchen. “Lia? What’re you doing here?” he looked between me and Josh with an odd expression. “And what the fuck is on your face?” he asked, referring to the bag of peas I was nursing.

He immediately set down the bag holding the beers and came to see my face, placing his hand over the peas. He tried to pull it away, but my hand kept steady. “Lia, let go. Let me see.” He ordered.

I barely let out a whimper before dropping my hand and exposing the nasty bruise to Max. He let in a sharp intake of breath. “God dammit, Lia.” He pulled me tightly to his chest and I felt a sob rip through my chest instantly.

Josh walked out of the kitchen without another word and began heading for the front door. I glanced at him through my tears and I felt my heart tugging.

“Josh, where the hell are you going?” Max called out to him.

“I’ve got some business to take care of.” He muttered. “Keep her here, don’t let her out of your sight.” and with that, he slammed the door after himself.

“Where’s he going?” I mumbled against the skin of Max’s neck. He smelled of cologne and cigarettes. I nuzzled myself closer to him.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he responded softly, and with that, he grabbed my legs, wrapping them around his waist and walked us to the couch where he set me down and put the fourth Harry Potter in, our favorite.

He came back and sat down beside me on the couch, pulling me towards him. I dropped my head onto his lap and cuddled up as he threw the blanket over me. As much as I wanted to stay up, go after Josh, keep him from doing anything, I knew it’d be no use. Max would make sure with everything in him, that I stayed put.

With the darkness setting outside, the lights dim in the living room, the movie playing softly, and Max’s one hand holding the ice on my cheek and the other running a hand through my hair. Sleep came easy.

+

I was startled awake at the sound of the front door slamming closed. I looked around and saw Josh coming into view, his cheek beginning to look in the same condition as mine. I shot up from my spot on the couch with Max and rushed to his side, grabbing a hold of his arm.

“Josh what happened, what did you do?”

His blue eyes were hardened, he was fuming, that much was certain when he turned his eyes on me. “Don’t EVER fucking sit there again and let a man put his hands on you, Lia. You’re worth so much more than that bullshit.” He spat. “If something ever happened to you,” he cut himself short and walked into his room he had there at Max’s.

I turned around to look at Max and he gave me an encouraging nod in Josh’s direction. I bit my lip and walked back to where his room was. I knocked softly and walked into his room, finding him sitting on his bed with his head in his hands.

“Are you mad at me still?” I whimpered softly, not wanting to hear his answer.

He pulled his head up, those beautiful blue eyes I’ve been in love with since I was thirteen staring back at me with such intensity. “Of course I’m not fucking mad at you, Lia. How can I stay mad at you when some fucking asshole thought it’d be okay to lay a hand on you?”

“I can take care of myself.” I muttered, and his eyes narrowed for a moment.

“That’s why you came running to Max’s house when he hit you?” He shot back and it threw me off for a moment.

“I wasn’t going to have him go over there and beat the shit out of him! I just needed someone to talk to!”

“What was I supposed to do, Lia? See you like this, with your perfect face damaged because you decided to talk back? Come on, Lia. You know me better than that, I cant sit back when something happens to you.” His expression looked pained and it tugged on my heart.

“I thought you were done with me?”

He looked at me for a long time and I started to think that he just wasn’t going to answer me. I mean, it was a stupid question.

“Lia, what do you not understand? No matter how hard I try, as much as I try to push you away, as much as I try to focus on my music, on Tasmin, on Hanna, it doesn’t matter. My mind is always on you.”

“Josh, I-“

He brought his hand up to silence me and I held back an eye roll. “Don’t Lia. You don’t have to say anything.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Just promise me you won’t let this keep happening to you. I can’t take-“

“When are you ever going to shut the fuck up and stop cutting me off?” I’d had enough.

He looked surprised, but his brows furrowed. “…I mean, what is there to say?”

“Josh, I’ve been in love with you since I was thirteen years old. I stopped coming to Surrey because you were dating Hanna, you didn’t want me. I was just the fat friend you were stuck with. I was good for such a long time after I met Alex. He made me feel beautiful. He brought me into a world where it was so easy for people to like me. No one knew my past and I liked that.”

“Then he asked me to marry him and I was ecstatic. But as I was sending out the invitations, you were the only thing I could think about. I missed seeing you, I missed hearing your voice teasing me, I missed sitting out with you in your backyard. I missed sitting on the couch in Matt’s basement and watching you guys practice. I missed your messy hair, and I missed your blue eyes. But most of all, I missed the way you make me feel whenever I’m around you.”

I let out a shaky breath, finally getting out the secret I’d been holding in all these years. It felt so good to get it out, but I didn’t have long to replenish in the feeling when Josh shot up from his bed and in two quick strides, his lips were on mine and his left hand was on my right cheek and his right hand settled on my waist, pulling me closer.

“Why’d you wait so long to tell me?” He breathed against my lips before he pressed numerous closed mouth kisses on my lips. I ran my hands up into his hair and pulled him closer to me.

“I thought you didn’t feel the same way.” I barely had enough time to get out before his lips attacked me once more.

“Impossible. How can anyone not fall in love with you?”

He grabbed the hem of my t shirt and we broke our lips apart just to get my shirt off. I reached my hands forward and quickly pulled his up over his head.

He was quick in walking us backwards, turning me around so my back was to the bed and dropping us down on the bed, Josh careful not to place all of his weight on me, his right arm holding him up.

We heard a bang to the door and pulled our lips away from eachother at the sound.

“Im going to Chris’. Don’t forget to use protection!” Max called out before he heard the front door close.

“Asshole,” Josh chuckled, then brought his lips back to mine.

+

When I woke up, it was dark out and my eyes struggled to find a clock. Beside me, the red numbers read out 12:36. I sat up a bit, but an arm around my waist tightened and pulled me back.

“Where’re you going?” His voice was laced with sleep and the bit of light coming in from the window illuminated his face.

“It’s late, I have to get home.” I tried moving again, no such luck.

“Don’t go,” he murmured against my naked collarbone and I closed my eyes at the contact.

“I have to, he’s probably wondering where I am.” I sighed softly.

His hand was running along my naked side and it felt so good to have his hands on me. I could live the rest of my life like this.

“I’ll drive you home. You can pick your car up tomorrow. “ I nodded and I wondered if he saw me. “Just lay here a little while longer.”

“If anything happens, you know to call me, right? If I’m not right across the street, I’ll be back at Max’s, but I can get here in record time if you need me,” Josh promised once we’d finally rolled out of bed and he’d driven me home. I nodded and turned, pulling on the handle, opening the door.

Josh reached out and grasped my arm, causing me to turn around. I was met with his lips catching me in a sweet kiss. I gave him a questioning glance. “Just cause I’ve been waiting so long for you.” He shrugged.

It was dead silent when I slipped into the house. All of the lights in the house seemingly out. I pulled my hair into a messy bun and sighed, quietly making my way upstairs.

My bedroom light was on and I was catious as I walked in. On my bed, laid Alex, his eyes focused on me the moment I walked into the room. “Dahlia.” He sat up, his features remorseful.

It was then that I noticed the deep brusing around his right eye, the left side of his jaw, along with his left cheek. I wanted to feel bad, feel horrible that Josh had given him such a beating, but I knew better than that, I didn’t deserve the hit I got. I’d done nothing wrong. And this all needed to end. It was possible now, to be with Josh, he wanted me, all I had to do was end this.

“Alex,” I started out, and he stood up, coming to stand in front of me. His hand reached out to touch my face and I instantly took a step back. “ I don’t think I can do this anymore. I really wish I could, but this life just isn’t for me.”

His whole facial expression dropped to one of somber and he immediately widened his eyes. “Baby no, baby listen to me. I love you, I love you with every fiber in my being. I know I have a hard time showing it, and we’ve had our ups and downs, but I promise you that I’ve done everything for us. You can’t do this, I can’t make it on my own.”

His words, they were cutting a whole deep inside me. I wanted to depise him. I wanted to wish the worst things on him, I wanted to see him get exactly what was coming to him, but as he stood before me, basically begging and those hazel eyes looking deep into mine, I found myself getting weak. What was I doing?

Alex dropped down to his knees and wrapped his arms tightly around my middle, his head pressing into my stomach. “I know I’m not the perfect man, and we have our fights, but ill change. I’ll be everything you want and more.”
One by one, he brought each hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss there, and then he slowly came to stand back up and he kissed each cheek, his lips lingering on the one with the bruise, then one last kiss on my forehead. “Please baby.” He whisper was hoarse, almost like he was on the verge of crying.

I don’t know why it was so hard to say no.