Rescue Me

I stared at that shiny piece of metal that sat on the glass table in front of me. My leg bounced in anticipation and need as I just stared at it. It seemed like every sound in the room intensified ten times. The ticking of the clock that rested on the wall seemed to burst my eardrums; the drip, drip, drip of the faucet was unbearable; the hum from the refrigerator…intolerable. I twitched.

I reached to grab the razor but quickly retracted my hand.

“You know you want to.” I heard an all too familiar voice say. I shook my head.

“No, I don’t. Leave me alone.” I got up and walked over to the faucet and twisted its handles until the water stopped, my hands stinging in the process. I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. I then felt him against my back, his mouth tracing kisses up my neck, a hand wrapping around my neck softly.

“Come on. You know you want to feel it. That cold blade run across you white, pasty skin. Bright, vibrant red blood trickling down your arm, like in a movie or book you read.” He said in between kisses. I closed my eyes and pushed away from him.

“Aleck, leave me alone.” I walked into the living room and stood there at the entrance for a few minutes, biting my nails. I then started to pick up my already clean apartment. I needed to clean; I needed to get him away.

“Jenny,” I heard him whisper in my ear. I quickly turned around and but he wasn’t there. I ran my hands through my hair and whimpered.

“Leave me alone!” I screamed at my empty apartment. I sat on the floor, cross legged, and closed my eyes.

“Please, please just go. Please, please, just go,” I whispered. After a few minutes, my heart began to slow. I sighed and then opened my eye, only to find Aleck a few inches away from my face.

It felt like my heart stopped and fell to the floor. He was sitting identical to me. He opened his hand to reveal the same razor that was on the table. We both looked down at it. I then looked up at him, just as he looked at me. He gave me a grim smile.

“There is only one way to get rid of me and you know it, Jenny. There is only one way to get rid of the memories of your past, to get rid of all the voices, to get rid of the building of feelings that is about to explode through your veins. I will not go unless you do it and you know what to do. Just do it.” Tears started to fall as I grabbed the razor out of his hand. Just like countless times, I slid the razor across my skin, deeper than I usually do. I bit my lip as it stung for a second but then blood filled the cut, overflowing the edges, dripping down my arms. I looked up and still saw him there.

“One time isn’t going to cut it.” He laughed. I looked down at my arm and sliced it five more times, each a little deeper than the other. I rested the bloody razor on the carpet and looked up and saw no one. I sighed in relief and got up, walking into the bathroom and cleaning my arm up. I walked into my bedroom and changed into pajamas, smiling knowing that I had gotten rid of Aleck and the rest of the monsters that haunted me.

I got into my bed, covering myself up. I reached across to my bedside lamp and shut it off.

Just as I was about to close my eyes I felt the bed sink beside me. My eyes shot open and I quickly turned on the lamp. I looked beside me and saw Aleck laying there, smoking a cigarette along with every memory of my horrible past with him, billowing in his smoke. He looked at me and smiled.

“You know what you have to do to get rid of me, right?”