Shape of My Heart

“Baylee’s convinced AJ and I are going to be married by Yoda.” Kelsi laughed when I answered my phone the next morning.

“What?” I laughed. “He chose the Star Wars theme!? I would think he would have better taste for a ten-year-old.”

“Oh, ha, ha.” I could almost see her rolling her eyes.

“I love you Kelsi, but the first wedding I’m putting in my sample book will not be a Star Wars theme.” I laughed. “No one would want to come to me after that.”

“Oh, I know. And I told AJ that if he was going to marry me, I am not dressing up like Princess Leia. He said he wasn’t dressing up either, so we’re on an agreement term so far.” She laughed.

“At least he listened to you! Nick said if we were to get married, I would have a wedding dress that looks like Wendy’s nightgown from Peter Pan… and he would be wearing the tights!” Kelsi laughed hysterically, probably trying to imagine Nick in the green Peter Pan tights. “Yeah, my thoughts exactly. He refuses to dress like a prince! Nothing’s wrong with Prince Adam’s suit in Beauty and the beast! That’s more appropriate for a wedding than tights are! And he knows I’ve been planning my wedding since I was nine!”

“Dude, you two aren’t even engaged, no where near it, and you talk more about wedding than AJ and I!” Kelsi complained. “I hate you.”

“Oh, hush. At least you’re getting married.”

“You will! Oh, and uh, there’s a bet going around… so marry Nick. I got twenty down for you two. Give me a heads up if you’re not going to marry him.” She whispered so only I could hear.

“Will do.” I smiled. “Oh, speak of the devil.” Nick kissed my cheek. “I’ll call you later Kels.”

“Alrighty! Remember! Heads up.” I laughed and hung up.

“What’s up, chicken butt?” I smiled and grabbed his hand.

“Nothing new. What about you, tennis shoe?”

“Nada.” I shrugged.

“I see.” We grabbed our bags and loaded them on the bus. “What was Kelsi calling about?”

“Wedding stuff.” He nodded. “She’s jealous that we talk more about weddings than her and AJ.” Nick laughed as we walked onto the bus and sat down on the couch.

“Well that’s because you want to be a wedding planner, and I want you to plan our wedding.” My heart jumped a little.

“See, that’s no fun.” I played along. “Why would I want to plan our wedding? Half the fun is the surprise of seeing it all for the first time.” I sighed and turned on the TV.

“And then, when we go to the reception after the wedding, the venue will be decorated like-”

“I swear, if you say Neverland, you’ll never have children.” He opened his mouth to argue, then shut it and changed the channel. “That’s what I thought.” I smiled in victory.

~*~

“He really said ‘our wedding’?” Kelsi asked excitedly through the phone.

“Yes!” I squealed. “We’ve joked about getting married before, but this was a legit statement!” I heard Kelsi clap in excitement.

“That’s awesome!”

“But Nick’s not really the type to get married.” I shrugged and peeked out the door to make sure Nick was still playing his video game.

“Neither is AJ, but we’re getting married next June.” She had a point… as always. Would Nick really want to marry me? I shook my head to clear the thought out of my mind. Nick wasn’t the marrying type. I smiled as he jumped in victory as he killed another zombie on his game. I shut the door and continued my conversation with Kelsi.

“I know, but Nick likes to go out, party, have fun. He wouldn’t want to get married. He would be tied down for the rest of his life.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Kelsi asked, skeptical.

“Absolutely!” There was a hint of truth in my voice. “As long as we’re happy. Plus, weddings are too much work.” I sat down on the edge of the bed. “Way too expensive.”

“Coming from the lady who’s planning my wedding.”

“Yes, but you’re paying for it, remember?” I laughed.

“Don’t remind me.” She groaned. “My walled hurts just thinking about it…”

“Well get back to looking at those wedding magazines. You need ideas so when we get home, we can get it done.”

“Okay! Remember, the concert starts in an hour.” I heard AJ say something on the other line. “AJ said to tell Nick he needs to get his ass down to rehearsals.”

“Will do.” I hung up. “Nick!” I skipped out of the mini bedroom and saw him still kicking zombie ass. “AJ said you need to get down to rehearsals. Concert in an hour, remember?” Nick sighed and paused the game.

“Right in the heat of the game…” He stood up and tossed the controller to the side. “You know just when to interrupt, babe.” He chuckled and kissed me. “Be in the dressing room in thirty minutes. You’re our lucky charm.” He winked and walked out of the bus. “Hey Kelsi.” I heard right as Kelsi walked onto the bus.

~*~

As usual, Kelsi and I were late… about ten minutes. “Sorry we’re late!” I panted as Kelsi and I burst through the door.

“It’s okay.” Brian laughed. “We’ll just suck terribly tonight because our lucky charms weren’t here… it’s no big deal.” Brian burst into a fake sob. “I’m sorry, thousands of fans out there waiting on an amazing show! It’s all their faults!”

“Oh, shut up.” I laughed and playfully hit his arm.

“Well, now that you’re here,” I heard Nick from behind me. “and I’m completely ready,” I turned to see Nick walking towards me. Next thing I knew, Nick picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. “You’re coming with me!” He whispered and ran out of the dressing room. I yelped and began to hit his back.

“Nick! Put me down!” I covered my eyes. You would think that knowing me for almost twenty years he would know I don’t like to be picked up. He finally sat me down what felt like hours later… which in reality, was only a fifteen yard walk from the dressing room. “What was that?” I grabbed my chest and breathed heavily. He shrugged and sat down against the wall in the hallway. “What’s up?” I asked and sat next to him. “You seem upset.” I rested my head on his shoulder and looked up at him.

“Nah,” He smiled and put his arm around me. “just been thinking.” He pulled me closer.

“About?”

“Life.” He shrugged. “What if I hadn’t been chosen for the band? What if you never went to the park that day? Stuff like that.” There was a moment of silence and I grabbed Nick’s hand.

“I went to the park everyday when I lived there, even when I was sick, so the second question was kind of ridiculous.” I smiled up at him.

“I guess that’s true.” He smirked. “But what if I hadn’t been chosen for the band, then? I would never have been at the park that day.” I stopped and thought about this. Nick had a point. He wouldn’t have been at the park. But we lived in the same neighborhood, so we would have eventually bumped into each other… right? “Makes you think, huh?” He sighed and kissed my hair. I nodded and awkwardly stared at the floor. “Well, if it helps, we would have ended up together anyway.”

“Why do you think that?” I smiled.

“We were obviously meant to be together.” He shrugged. “God would have led me to you one way or another.”

“How can you know that for sure?” I asked.

“Because my heart couldn’t belong completely to anyone else like it does to you.” Nick answered as if he didn’t even have to think about it. I hid my face behind my hair so he couldn’t see my face turn red. “So, uh,” He coughed and started playing with my hand. “Are you busy after the concert?” He asked me. I looked up at him confused.

“Uh, no?” I laughed. “You know I‘m not.” I nudged him.

“Good, I’ve got some big plans, tonight.”

“What would these plans be?” I asked and looked up at Nick and gave him my puppy dog eyes, hoping they would work on him like always. He’s helpless when I do this. I can get anything out of him. But, he wasn’t looking. Crap.

“My lips are sealed.” Nick shrugged and helped me off the ground.

“Nickolas Carter! Please?” I stuck my bottom lip out and begged.

“No! You’ll have to wait a few hours.” Nick kissed me.

“Fine.” I huffed.

“Nick, time to get out there!” Brian called as he ran to the stage.

~*~

“That was amazing!” I yelled as Nick ran under the stage and greeted me with a sweaty hug. “You did awesome!” I smiled as he took his jersey off and changed into a clean shirt.

“Thanks!” Nick said as he grabbed a water bottle and kissed me. Nick grabbed my hand and we walked out of the arena with the rest of the guys and onto Nick’s bus. “So, remember, when we get back to the hotel, get all dolled up and meet me on the roof.” Nick said as we sat down on the small couch on the bus.

“Why?” I asked again, trying to get him to tell me what we were doing.

“You’ll see.” Nick put his feel on the table in front of the couch and turned on the TV.

~*~

Later that night, I had Kelsi come to my room and help me curl my hair and do my make-up.

“What if he breaks up with me? Oh my God… he’s going to break up with me!” I start to breath heavy.

“Katie! Come on! Why would he have you get all dolled up to break your heart into a thousand pieces? Why in the world would he do that to you?” Kelsi rolled her eyes and separated more hair to curl.

“You’ve seen the movies! The guy gets the girl ready for a big romantic whatever, he acts like he loves her, reaches across the table, takes her hand, looks right into her eyes and says ‘I think we should see other people’. What if that happens to me?!” I start to freak out again.

“Katie…” Kelsi rolled her eyes right as AJ walked in the room.

“You ladies ready yet?” AJ asked and closed the door behind them.

“Not quite… Katie’s scared Nick’s going to break up with her. Will you please tell her that he’s not going to?”

“Of course he is!” AJ shrugged. “You two had a good go and I’m really-”

“Alexander James McLean! You get out of this room, right now!” Kelsi said and chased him out of the room with the hot curling iron. She stormed back into the room and saw me sitting wide-eyed and on the verge of tears. Kelsi rushed over to me. “Katie, don’t you dare listen to him. You know better than to listen to any of these boys.” I nodded and grabbed my phone.

“I’m going to call Devika.” Devika is Donnie’s new fiancé and we instantly became good friends.

“Hey, Katie!” She answered. “What’s up, chicken butt?”

“Okay, so Nick told me to get all dolled up and meet him on the roof. I think he’s going to break up with me, you know, like in those movies? Anyway, what do you think? Does Donnie know what’s going on? Oh my goodness I’m freaking out.” I asked Devika with my words coming out of my mouth about a million miles a minute.

“What?! Why would you even think that?!” Devika laughed. “Hold on. Donnie, love? Do you know what Nick is planning for Katie tonight?”

“Yeah, it’s really… is that her on the phone?” I heard Donnie in the background. There was a short pause before he said “Put her on mute, she can’t hear.” I heard a small click and waited a few seconds.

“Oh my goodness! Katie, you’re going to the roof, and you’re going to love it! I can’t say anymore because Donnie’s giving me a warning look, but I swear, you’ll love it.” Devika seemed pretty excited, so I guess that’s a good sign.

“Okay…” I said nervously. “I’ll talk to you later, then.” I hung up and went back out to Kelsi.

“Nothing to worry about, right? I told you!” Kelsi hugged me and sat me back down. “Now, we need to finish your hair and make up so you can get dressed and get up on that rooftop to your lover boy!”