Shape of My Heart

I sat in my car, staring at the front door to my house, dreading going inside. If I went inside and he was still mad at me, then I would pack up and leave. If he was upset and sorry, I would stay. If he messes up again… well, I would cross that bridge when I got there. I finally picked up my courage and got out of the car and walked inside.

“Katie? Katie is that you?” Aaron called from the other room.

“Yeah.” I said and took my coat off.

“Oh my God.” I heard him say to himself and he ran around the corner. “Thank God you’re okay!” He ran to me and wrapped me in his arms. “I’m so sorry, Katie. I don’t know what I was saying earlier! It’ll never happen again, I swear!”

“You can say sorry all you want, Aaron, but if you mess up one more time… I’m gone. No ‘ifs’ ‘ands’ or ‘buts’ about it. One more time.” I said, trying to show how serious I was about this.

“I know, I know. Katie, I am so sorry. I never should have said what I did. I shouldn’t have lied.” Aaron looked like he was on the verge of tears.

“Aaron, look at me.” He looked up into my eyes. “I love you, okay. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, you know that.” I wiped the tear that was rolling down his cheek.

“I know, I just… thought you weren’t coming back.” He sighed.

"I don't leave when things get tough.” I explained. “I was just angry and needed to cool down without you trying to see if I was okay or needed anything." I smiled at him.

“Okay.” He sighed. “Can we act as if this didn’t happen? Please?”

“Absolutely.” I smiled and kissed him.

The Next Day

“Good morning, honey.” Aaron poked his head around my bedroom door. “I made you breakfast.” He showed me the tray of eggs, bacon, toast, and orange juice.

“Aaron, there’s no need to kiss up.” I smiled and pat the area of my bed next to me. “Sit down.” He obeyed.

“I know I don’t need to kiss up, but I just want to show you how sorry I am.” Aaron sat the tray on my lap.

“We agreed that we were going to put this all behind us, remember?” I put my head on his shoulder. “Now please stop acting like you did something worse than lied to me.” Aaron was suddenly quiet. “You didn’t do anything worse, did you?” My insides twisted. I was going to be sick. I couldn’t breath!

“No! I was just thinking.” He put his hands up. “I would never do anything like that!” I was able to breath again. “I’m going to get ready for the day, okay? I love you.” He kissed me swiftly.

“I love you too!” I called after him. I set the tray of food to the side and grabbed my laptop from under my bedside table and decided to check my FaceBook. Just as I logged on, a picture of Aaron caught my eye. He was kissing a girl. That girl wasn’t me. “Calm down, Katie. You’re just over reacting. This could have been taken before you started dating him.” I told myself as I clicked on the picture, and the next, and the next. I had finally had enough and slammed my laptop shut. I started breathing heavily before getting out of bed to take a shower. “It was before you started dating him.” I kept telling myself. I got out of the shower and got dressed. “I’m going to Kelsi’s! I’ll be home later!” I called back to Aaron as I walked out the door.

“Love you!” I heard him yell through the door. I dialed Kelsi as soon as I was down the road from her house.

“I know you’re probably busy, but I really need to talk to you.” I said as I turned the corner. “I’m pulling in now.”

“Good! A.J. and I have to tell you something…” She said nervously.

“What?! I thought it was just going to be you!” I heard A.J. shout in the background.

“I’ll see you in a second.” She said quickly and hung up. I shrugged, went up to her door, and walked in.

“Kelsi! I’m here!” I shut the door behind me.

“Katie! Please don’t hate me when I tell you this but-”

“I think Aaron cheated on me at that party he went to the other night.” I interrupted. “I saw some pictures online, but I wasn’t sure, so I came here so I could show you the pictures and get your opinion.”

“They are from the other night, Katie.” She bit her lip.

“What?” I said a bit hurt.

“Kelsi and I went to a party a friend was throwing, and we saw him there.” A.J. came from around the corner looking a bit frightened. “We figured you knew he was there, but then we saw him kissing on some girl… Kelsi tried to call you, but it kept going straight to voicemail. Then they went up to her room…” My heart was pounding in my ears.

“Katie… are you okay?” Kelsi said and put her hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t touch me.” I said a bit more rudely than intended. “I have to go.” I ran out and grabbed my keys on my way out. I don’t even remember the drive home, but I remember pulling up and seeing Aaron’s car gone. He had better be thanking God he wasn’t home. I ran in the door and yanked my bedroom door open. “I love you, Katie.” I mocked Aaron’s voice as I grabbed my suitcases from the top of my closet. “I didn’t do anything like that, Katie.” I grabbed some clothes from my closet and dressers and began to shove them in my suitcases. I grabbed all of my possessions and began to shove them anywhere they would fit in my duffle bag. When I finished packing, I took all my bags out to the car one by one. When I was done, I thought that at least Aaron deserved a note.

Dear Asshole,

I saw the pictures online. You’d better be glad that you weren’t home when I was packing my stuff. You would have been a dead man. Thanks for lying to me and cheating on me. Thanks for ruining two years of my life, bastard. I’m gone.

Katie.