Trashed & Scattered

The pounding in my head is what I awoke to the next morning. Well that along with my ring tone going off somewhere around me.

Wait a minute.

My eyes shot open as I flew upwards. I was no longer laying on the floor in front of the couch. Somehow I wound up laying in a bed...with Brian?!  

I quickly jumped from the bed, searching for my purse. 

'Hollywood whore, passed out on the floor. I'm sorry but the party's over.'

"Mother fucker!" My words escaped my throat in a raspy hiss as I dug through my purse for my phone.

After I hit the send button I placed the phone to my ear.

"What?"

"Where the hell are you? I just woke up on the couch and you are nowhere to be found." Joelle sounded rather frantic and I had to bite back the bile I could feel coming up.

"Uh I think I'm in a bedroom. And you Missy. I have some very strong words for you. I swear I'm going to choke you with my bare hands."

"Woah, Woah, what the hell did I do?"

"Oh nothing really, just blurted out the fact that I am on medication for fucking seizure prevention!" I slapped my hand over my mouth as I heard movement on the bed behind me. 

"Morning." I groaned silently at the raspy voice that came from behind me as I hung up on Joelle. 

"Uh...hi. So how did I end up here exactly?"

"Oh. Sorry about that. You were asleep on the floor so I brought you in here."

"I would have been fine out there."

"Of course you would have....So about last night."

"There's nothing that needs discussed. I'm just gonna go now." I quickly gathered up my stuff and fled the room before another word could be spoken. Pretty sure the scowl was permanently etched on my face. After made my way downstairs I was met with the sheepish looking face of my supposed best friend.

"Uh I'm sorry?" My eyes narrowed as she gathered her belongings and ran for the car.

I was right on her heels. We didn't even say goodbye as I pulled away from the house. Silence surrounded us as we sat there. I was practically fuming.

"What the hell man?!"

"Dude I'm sorry. I'm am honest drunk. You know that! And everyone else was drunk so I doubt they paid attention."

"Yea everyone except me0 Brian and Matt!"

"Oh...well I'm really sorry. I'm sure they won't even remember the names of that shit. Hell half the time I forget."

I groaned in frustration. There really wasn't anything that could be done about it now. I ran my fingers through my hair as I pulled up to our apartment and shut off the engine.

"It's ok I guess. Just...pretend it never happened."

"Yes ma'am." I punched her in the arm as we made our way back to our apartment. 

It was only eight in the morning and neither of us had to work. We usually spend those days lounging and watching movies. It's our 'bonding time'

Gotta love those days.

------

"Ok so you're sure you have everything?"

"Yes Joe."

"You're medicine, your phone, money? Oh! What about.." I cut her off quickly before she gave me a  headache.

"I have everything I need darling. I'll be fine."

"Ok just, don't forget to take your pills and if you start feeling..."

Once again I had to cut her off.

"Joe! I'll be fine. I'll brush my teeth twice a  day, floss at least once and yes I will shower regularly." I had to laugh at the stern look on her face. She takes her role way too seriously.

"Fine. But you better call me at least five times a day."

"Oh but of course!" she smiled and hugged me tightly. From the time we had made the decision to come out here to Huntington Beach we hadn't really been apart from one another. This would be hard for the both of us. Luckily she had Alex. I knew he would take care of her.

"Well I guess I'll see you in a few weeks?"

"Yea. I love you sis." 

"Love you too. Forever and always."

"Forever and Always." I smiled and wiped the tears from my eyes as I turned and headed for the tour bus behind me. The was there talking to the boys. I stopped at the door to say goodbye to him. 

He smiled knowingly. I quickly gave him a hug before lifting my bag from the ground.

"You take care of yourself now. Don't forget to..."

"Yea, yea I know. I already had this conversation. No need to get all mushy. I'll see you when we get back. Bye old man." I gave him a small smile before climbing onto the bus with one final look at the two people who meant more to me than anything in the world. 

"Next stop, Colorado!" I rolled my eyes at Jimmy who was currently jumping up and down on the couch.

I drug my bag along with me in search of the bunks.

"Welcome to our humble abode." I laughed at Val as she showcased the bus like Vanah White would.

"Oh why thank you my dear." 

"Anytime. Here I'll show you to the bunks." I nodded and followed her past the boys and to the back of the bus. It wasn't huge but it wasn't overly small either. They were large enough for two people if they cuddled. 

"So Zacky has the bottom left and then above him are Brian and Jimmy. Johnny has the bottom right then you can either have the top or middle. Matt and I are in the back room. I hope you don't mind."

I laughed and shook my head.

"No of course not. I'm fine with whatever." She nodded and headed to the from mumbling something about checking on the children. 

I laughed and threw my stuff in the middle bunk. I only brought one suitcase and a backpack full of my necessities, such as medication and toiletries.

In my suitcase was my favorite clothing items and two pairs of shoes. My makeup was in my purse along with my technological devices.

"That's all you brought? Holy crap."

I jumped and spun around at the sound of Matt's voice.

"Uh yea...I pack lightly. I only brought the necessities."

"I don't know how you do it. Val has three suitcases just for shoes and makeup."

"Oh." I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly as I turned to plug in my iPod. 

"So why have you been avoiding us?" my lip found it's way between my teeth as I stood there awkwardly.

"I wasn't. I just wanted to spend time with Joelle before I left."

"You don't honestly expect me to believe that do you? After that little bit of information Joelle let slip the other day you've avoided us like the Plague. Which brings up another question. Why are you on an immune suppressant and anti-seizure pills?"

My body froze and I refused to turn around. He looked up the medication?!

"And don't even try to lie."

My anger was trying to seep through. This was not a good way to start off tour.

"I think I'm going to lay down for a while." I quickly tossed my bags to the bunk above mine. After climbing in I closed the curtain in Matt's face. I couldn't help but smirk at the shock that flashed across his face.

After I heard him sigh and walk away I put my earbuds in their rightful places and blasted Sick by Adelita's Way. 

My arms rested behind my head as I closed my eyes, mouthing the words and tapping my foot to the beat. It wasn't long before sleep took over and I was out like a light.

-------

"Skylar!" I let out a shriek and rolled over to face the person responsible for my fright. Unfortunately I was met with nothing but the hard floor as I rolled out of my bunk.

"What the hell?" I groaned and rubbed my face with my hands, instantly feeling the blood that dripped from my nose. It didn't hurt too bad but I knew the bleeding could possibly be an issue.

This was a lovely symptom of low platelet counts. My blood wouldn't clot right so I often bled profusely.

"Shit." I stood quickly and tipped my head back with my hand held under my nose. 

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you that bad. You wouldn't wake up though."

I chuckled and shook my head.

"It's fine Brian. Nothing broken, it's just a little blood. I'll be alright."

"Val can you grab a towel please?"

I began to protest before I was guided to the front of the bus. The blood was starting to run over my hand and down my arm. I cringed at the sight. No matter how many times I had watched my blood being drawn from my body, the sight never got any easier. 

"Holy shit what'd you do to her?!"

"I opened my mouth to tell her I was fine but the moment I opened my mouth I regretted it. Quite a bit of the blood seeped into my mouth and I began gagging intensely. I quickly ran for the trashcan and spit it out before gagging a bit more. 

"God that's disgusting." I shook my head as I was bent over the trashcan allowing the blood to drip directly into it.

"Are you ok hun?"

"Yea I'm fine. I just smacked my face off the floor. Nothing unusual." I said a quiet 'thanks' as I grabbed the towel from her hand. 

When I stood up I noticed I had the attention of...well everyone. Gotta say I really was not liking it.

"Ok funs over kids. I'm fine."

"Skylar let me see your nose, that's a hell of a lot of blood." I shook my head at Matt.

"It'll stop soon. I've dealt with stuff like this before. Quite a bit actually. I'm rather uncoordinated."

Though that was the truth I left out one minor detail. I usually dealt with it at the hospital. After loosing so much blood I usually passed out. That's what my first hospital trip was for.

I was in seventh grade and it was when I first started my 'feminine cycle.' yea not a great way to start. Instead of stopping like they were supposed to it went on for a month. I was such a shy kid, so I never told anyone. 

Yea it was a Thursday and I skipped school because of the pounding in my head and the fact that I couldn't stand for more than two seconds without collapsing. I ended up completely losing it.

I didn't know who or where I was so my parents took me to the emergency room. The doctors thought I was going to die. Hell at one point I wished I was. I was in so much pain.

"Seriously Skylar let me see it." I rolled my eyes as Matt took away the towel. The blood had slowed a bit but was still running out of my nose like a freaking river. I knew it wasn't broken though.

"Holy shit dude. How hard did you hit it?"

I laughed and spit out the blood once again before grabbing the towel back.

"Aw man, Thor is going to kill us."

"No! You can't tell him!" my eyes were wide at my outburst. Everyone else looked pretty shocked also.

"I....I mean, he'll just over react. It's only a little blood. I'm not dying or anything." My laugh was forced and I was slightly nervous. Bad choice of words I suppose considering I could actually die from the blood loss. 

"Uh....ok?" They all looked suspicious at my nervous laughter. Things were definitely not going in my favor.

"Well let's at least get it checked out. We're at the first venue so we have to start getting ready but I'm sure Val wouldn't mind taking you."

I could feel my eyes widen slightly as I glanced at her.

"Yea no problem." I shook my head in protest.

"Seriously it's fine. I'll make a deal, if it stops bleeding within the next five minutes I'm not going but if it doesn't I will. Sound fair?" She sighed before nodding.

"Ok." I calmed slightly at her cooperation. The blood was already slowing. I knew I'd be safe for now.

I smiled as the boys looked slightly defeated when my nose stopped bleeding. 

"Success!" I laughed as I ran for the bunks. I just got myself out of a really tense situation. That immediately put me in a better mood.

I quickly searched my bag for an outfit to wear. My smile widened as I picked out my black lace up boots, black lace leggings, flower patterned skirt and plain white baby doll tee. I found my black belt too before skipping off to the bathroom.

After showering I put on my outfit. I don't dress up very often but I was in the mood to look...pretty. I scrunched my hair so it was in loose curls. My curly hair was one of my favorite assets aside from my eyes. 

For my makeup I just did some dark eyeliner and mascara. Simple, just the way I like it.

I opened the door only to collide into another human being. Of course it was Brian.

"You know..this is turning into some really annoying habit. We really have to stop doing that." I chuckled lightly before stepping around his laughing self.

"Hey wait a sec." I stopped and spun on my heel, wobbling slightly from the movement.

"We're all gonna go get something to eat. Anywhere specific you wanna go?"

I shook my head and smiled. 

"Nah, I'm good with whatever you guys want. I'm not very picky. Thanks for asking though."

"No problem. And I'm really sorry about the wake up call. I'll have to work on that huh?" His smile made my heart flutter but I gulped quickly and shoved away the feeling as best I could. 

"It's fine really. I tend to be a deep sleeper. I'll probably have to start setting some kind of alarm." He grinned and nodded before turning and heading back to the bathroom.

To say I was excited to see them live was the understatement of the century. My first concert was just a small Adam Lambert one. I'll never forget it though. Best. Night. Ever. Other than that the only ones I had been to weren't very big. Just small gigs and such.

I turned once again and headed back towards the front of the bus. Everyone had probably headed into the venue because the bus was now empty except for me and Brian. 

I bit my lip as I searched the mini fridge for an unopened bottle of water. After finding one a smile graced my lips and I pulled it from the back of the fridge and stood.

I drank some of it before heading back towards my bunk. I was humming along to Living Dead Girl by Rob Zombie as I bent halfway over my bunk to reach my iPod. After successfully retrieving it I grabbed my purse. 

I glanced at the clock as I headed to the front once again. 9:34 am

Time for my medicine.

I chuckled to myself as I sang and danced to the song My Medicine by The Pretty Reckless while opening my packages of meds.

The pill packages were practically human proof and I was struggling with it. I almost jumped out of my skin as the door to the bus opened and loud voices followed. 

Unfortunately this caused the package to open and the pills to go flying. Thank god there were only two or I would be completely screwed.

"Son of a mother fucking bitch." I hissed out under my breath as I got down on my hands and knees, feeling around under the couch for the cylindrical shaped objects.

"Uh....everything alright down there?" My face immediately reddened as Brian stood above me, my ass up in the air.

"Yup, just peachy." I let out a few choice words as my hand searched frantically.

"What exactly are you doing?" I ignored Matt's question as I finally found what I was looking for. Well part of it. There was one still missing. I stood from the floor and blew the dirt off the ginormous pill. I swear they were just made to choke people. 

I shrugged my shoulders at the lost cause and dug through my purse for another pill. I didn't feel like scouring the bus for the other. After I successfully opened that one I popped the lid off my other pill bottle and pulled out a small pill.

Yay, just gotta love these morning rituals. 

I quickly opened my bottle of water, ignoring the stares of the others on the bus. They'd see me take them at some point. Doesn't mean I have to explain anything.

After tossing back the two giant pills and the smaller one I quickly chugged back some water and swallowed, practically gagging at the taste. I grimaced as they slowly went down. Usually I prefer to take them with a thicker liquid such as milk or orange juice. But I'll take what I can get.

"Holy shit, those things were huge! How are you not dying right now?!" I laughed at Jimmy's reaction before shrugging my shoulders and tossing the empty packages in the trash along with my now empty plastic bottle.

"Eh it's not that bad. I'm used to it."

Everyone's faces held looks that were easy to recognize. Worry and confusion. I almost laughed.

"So what exactly are those for?" I raised a questioning eyebrow at Matt. He knew exactly what they were for. But not why I'm taking them.

"Why don't you tell me?" I smirked before tossing my purse over my shoulder. Two can play this game.

"So where are we going to eat?"

------

I laughed and threw a French fry at Jimmy who was currently making faces at the restaurant employees. Today was going pretty well so far. And as much as I hate to admit it, I was really starting to like this group. 

"So Skylar, where are you originally from?" My eyes flickered over to Johnny as he watched me curiously.

"Well I grew up in a small town in Ohio. It was in the country but I...I never really felt at home there. I mean don't get me wrong, I loved the open spaces and everything about it. But...my fa. Uh." I stopped myself, not really wanting to go into details about my family. 

That was a topic for another time, if at all.

"I just always felt like something was missing. And working in the music industry was always a dream of mine so Joe and I moved out here a after graduation and haven't really looked back."

"So you haven't seen your family at all?" I looked away from Zacky and down at the table, shoving another fry into my mouth. My shoulders shrugged in response before looking back up.

"Nope."

"Damn I don't think I could ever go that long without my family." Val seemed sympathetic as she glanced at me. I ignored the comment and played with my straw. My smile came back as I saw the perfect piece of ice in my glass. 

I loved eating ice. 

I quickly used my spoon and picked it up before popping the chunk of ice in my mouth. 

"Weirdo." Val was laughing at me when I searched for another good piece of ice.

"Shuddup." My words were slightly muffled as I wiped the water from my face. Some of the liquid spilled from my mouth when I smiled.

I slurped up the melting ice as I dug for my ringing phone. I quickly smiled and answered the call as Joelle's name flashed across the screen.

"Yellow?"

"Green"

"Purple"

"Red"

"Blue"

"Orange"

"Black"

"Kitten"

"Moose"

"....How in the hell do you get moose from kitten?" 

"This is me we're talking about."

"Touché, so what's up man?" I chuckled at the silent laughter coming from around the table.

"Oh nothing much just checkin on my bitches."

"Consider me checked in." Joelle's laughter could be heard from the other side of the phone.

"Ok well anyways I was told to inform you that your appointment is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Thor is in a business meeting so he couldn't tell you."

"Oh, Uh....I have yet to know who...yea you know."

I turned in my seat,  which luckily was on the end, so my conversation was slightly private.

"Oh well um...about that. Yea Thor never set up anything about that. You'll have to have one of the band members or Val take you."

"....You've got to be kidding me. He told me it was all taken care of! When we get back he is a dead man."

"Yea I figured you'd say something like that. Look I'm really sorry."

"No you don't need to apologize. It's not your fault. I'll figure something out before then."

"Did you remember to take your medicine?"

"Yes mother, but I'm considering writing a complaint to the manufacturers, I lost one this morning."

Her laughter was loud and rang in my ears.

"Oh tell me you didn't do that again. "

"Oh hush, you know they package them like that just to torture me." I couldn't help but laugh along with her. This was a reoccurring thing for me. I lost quite a few when opening those damn things.

"Did you eat?"

"You are not seriously going to call me everyday just to see if I've eaten are you?

"...No."

"Joelle, I'm eating right now. You mention it again I will hang up on you."

"Fine fine. But I have to go. Talk to you later?"

"Of course darling! Love ya. Forever and always."

"Forever and always."

I smiled and shook my head while closing the phone.

"Well that was...interesting." I chuckled before turning back to the group at the table.

"Uh yeah. She worries a lot. I think she's just paranoid." Avoiding the awkward glances I finished up the last of my food before tossing my wrappers away. 

I contemplated waiting until later to ask Val but figured now was as good a time as any. Might as well get it over with.

"Hey Val can I talk to you for a second?" I ran my hand through my hair nervously as she stood and we walked to the bathroom.

"So what's up?"

"Well I....I need to ask you a favor."

"Sure anything." I was practically pacing at this point. I know it really wasn't this big of a deal but I honestly hated people knowing about my illness. 

"Well I have these...weekly doctors appointments. And I'm not allowed to drive myself on those days. Thor was supposed to have someone drive me but...apparently he didn't. Do you think..."

"Of course I can take you. It's no problem dear." I let out a sigh of relief and smiled a little.

"Thank you so much Val. I owe you."

"Oh don't even think of it. It'll give us time away from the guys. You're practically doing me a favor. So....what exactly are these..appointments for?"

My smile faltered a little but I knew I had to tell her. 

"I'm...Uh, anemic."

Her face held shock as I fidgeted waiting for her to say something.

"I've heard of that I think. I don't really remember exactly what it is though..."

"It's a blood disorder. I guess the version I have is basically one step away from leukemia. Yea the anemia is the reason why my nose bled so much. I've had it since I was in 7th grade. Thor and Joelle are the only other people who know."

"So that's why they're always worried about you." she nodded her head as she processed the information.

"But I really don't want the guys to know so can we please please keep this between us?" I was practically pleading with her.

"Uh yea..ok."

"Thank you!" I quickly wrapped her in a hug as she laughed.

"So what exactly...well I don't really know much about this stuff."

"I'll explain more tomorrow when we go to my appointment. Ok?"

"Yea that's fine." I smiled once more before grabbing her hand and heading out to the table. The boys were all done eating and waiting on us.

"Everything alright?" I smiled and nodded, glancing over my shoulder at Val who smiled nervously. I know it would be hard for her to keep something like this from the guys but I also knew she would respect my wishes. 

Have I mentioned I really like this girl?

"Ok who paid for my food?" I glared around the table for the person who looked guilty. Brian.

"You know I was going to pay for myself."

"Yea well it's too late now." I rolled my eyes as he smirked. Guys

-------

"Avenged Sevenfold, you're on in two!" I laughed as the boys stood in a group, prepping themselves for their concert. They were touring with another favorite band of mine, Papa Roach. But I had yet to meet them because they wouldn't be joining us until the next performance in two days.

I was definitely excited.

After we had eaten lunch we all headed to the venue. It was like a circus in there! People were practically running about just trying to get everything set up. 

I helped set up the merch tents and other random things. I actually enjoyed my day.

I smiled and said 'good luck' to each of the boys as they walked to the side of the stage. The lights dimmed and they quickly ran to their places as the crowd screamed. It was exhilarating to be this close. 

Val and I stood off to the right below the stage. 

"You know I never get used to this. It's like a new experience every time I see them perform." I smiled at her as she spoke. I envied that she had this kind of happiness. The kind that others only dreamed about. It almost made me jealous. But I was happy for her nonetheless.

"I bet. I've never seen them live before now."

"Well believe me, you'll love it."

We both smiled but turned towards the stage as the beginning chords to Almost Easy echoed throughout the place. My heart pounded in my chest from the excitement.

Throughout the time they were on stage Val and I sang along to every song. I loved every minute of it. 

We quickly made our way backstage as the guys headed off. They had to do a meet and greet but I was practically dead on my feet. I told Val I needed to go lay down for a bit and she nodded.

"Nothings wrong, I'm just tired. But I'll talk to you later ok?" She smiled and nodded.

We parted ways after a hug and I headed back to the bus for a nap.