The Beach

“You love her, don’t you?”

Alex looked up at his friend, startled by the question. It was like his friend could read his mind. He had just been sitting on the couch thinking about Sawyer, and last summer. He had loved last summer more than almost anything he could think of.

”Alexander!” Sawyer laughed loudly as he held onto Alex as best as she could. He had run up behind her cunningly while she was walking along the beach, gazing at the ocean, and scooped her up, taking her by surprise. She screamed at the sudden disturbance, automatically wrapping her arms around the tall brunette as best as she could.

“Alexander William. Don’t you dare throw me into the ocean. So help me God I will kill you Alex!” She screamed, trying her hardest not to laugh, but with Alex’s playful laughter flowing directly into her ear, it was hard not to laugh along with him. His laughter was infectious to her, and she couldn’t help herself.

“I’m shaking in my boots!” He replied back, smirking back as his foot hit the water with a splash, causing a squeal to escape from Sawyer’s mouth. Alex just kept splashing deeper and deeper into the ocean, holding onto Sawyer in his arms. He leaped again, water splashing onto the couple with screams and laughter floating into the air.

“Alexander William Gaskarth.” She had tried so hard to look angry, but Sawyer couldn’t stop the smile from forming on her lips. Her eyes were twinkling and her dimples evident as she gazed at him. She looked simply stunning to the boy who held her. “Sheesh. I’m not even mad at you. That was a lot of fun.” She said with a laugh, tucking her head against Alex’s shoulder, nestling her nose against his neck. He could feel the smile on her face against the skin of his neck, which only made his own smile widen.

“I just” He had wanted desperately to tell her that he loved her, unconditionally and forever. He wanted to tell her how much he missed her during the year, and how happy he was to be here with her for another summer. But he just couldn’t. He couldn’t tell her everything that he was feeling, had been feeling, for the longest time. “I just couldn’t help myself” He recovered, smiling at the strawberry blond that he still held in his arms.

“To the point that it’s driving me crazy.” Alex admitted, running both his hands through his hair. It sounded ridiculous. He’d spent the last 7 years spending summers with Sawyer and he had never once built up the courage to tell her that he cared for her more than anyone else he’d ever met. He was so drawn to her, he just assumed that it would eventually happen on its own, and in a way, it had. They were in bed together every night, but he just couldn’t ever bring himself to tell her he loved her.

Now she was going to be getting married, and he was stuck in the same place as always. His last summer with the girl he loved more than anyone and he was going to lose her due to his own cowardness.

And if he were completely honest, he didn’t even know how to bring himself to accept that he was going to lose her. Reality wasn’t something he could accept just yet, or ever if he was being honest.

“Have you told her?” Jack asked, and Alex just shook his head at Jack.

“Well, that’s just dumb” Jack said as he sat down next to Alex, who rolled his eyes at his best friend.

“Gee thanks Jack. That was really helpful.” Alex said, and Jack returned the eye roll at the overly evident sarcasm.

“I can’t help you if you don’t wanna tell her how you feel. I mean, come on now. Let’s be realistic.” Jack retorted. “Look. The only way you can keep Sawyer is by telling her that you want her and that you don’t want her to marry Jake. That’s all I got for you.” Jack stated with a shrug.

“Yea. I know.” Alex said, although he knew that it wasn’t that easy.

He’s still not really sure when he began loving Sawyer, but he’s pretty sure that it happened before he actually realized it. He wouldn’t be surprised if it were after the first summer that they had spent together, but he really wasn’t sure. He just knew that it was last summer that he actually realized that he never really looked at Sawyer like he looked at everyone else. He hadn’t realized it until he realized that she was on his mind before summer even came up. It was winter, for crying out loud. Months before Alex was even due to go to Virginia Beach and he was captivated by thoughts of Sawyer and memories with her.

“You’re running out of time, ya know. After this summer, she’s gonna be married, so if you’re gonna do it, than you need to do it soon.” Jack informed him, and Alex sighed, because he knew that Jack was right. He was running out of time faster than he was gaining courage.