Only In It For A Minute

JOHN’S POV

“OK, wanna take it from the top?” I heard through my headphones and nodded.

I was sat at the piano in the studio, recording new songs with the guys as we worked on our third album. We were working hard on this album and we put everything we had into it as we were doing it alone, without a label.

Throughout the days we focussed on different things, whenever we had a new idea we’d get the most out of it. Jared and I had just put a new melody together and wanted to get it recorded somehow immediately.

Once I’d played through the song a few times, we decided we’d worked on that one enough for the time being.

“Why don’t we do the vocals for that one we mixed the other day?” Colby asked.

“Sure,” I agreed. I’d had some written out for a while that I’d wanted to use but had quite found the right melody so far. I knew it would work with this though. I took my place at the booth with my sheet of scribbled out words.

“You ready John?” Colby asked.

“Yeah, man,” I said into the mic.

“Alright, I’ll play it in now,” he told me.

The song we’d just put together started playing through my headphones and I took a breath to start singing.

“I’m fucked up again, I shouldn’t drive tonight but I keep thinking of you
I hurt you again, I shouldn’t lie tonight so the next few words are true
Never again, never again, no, will I leave you high and,
Never again, never again, no
Never again, never again, no, will I leave you high and dry
This time I more than mean it...”

“Can we try that again?” Colby asked, cutting the music. “Just wanna try something else.”

“OK, OK,” I said, knowing Colby liked to experiment with mixes as he went along.

I sang the words a few times over as I did a few takes of the song.

“I’m sorry...Yeah I’m sorry...
I’m sorry, I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry, I’m sorry I let you down,” I pretty much yelled as we got to the end of the song. I sang the last words and the music in my ears faded out. “That OK?”

“Yeah I think we got it for now,” Colby answered back.

I walked back through to the mix desk to five faces looking back at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Well, we don’t really need to guess who that’s about,” Garrett said sarcastically.

“I know, I know, I’m getting predictable, so fucking what?” I asked.

“At least, you’re getting it out somehow, since you’re obviously not talking to her,” Garrett continued.

“Don’t fucking start on me now,” I snapped, walking back out of the room.

“Let me go,” I heard Jared say and then follow me out to the kitchen area. “John, you need to talk to her.”

“Why do I?”

“Because you’re an ass and you need to stop fucking around,” he ordered. “Tash is the nicest girl you’ve ever had in your life and you fucked it up.”

“Did you not just hear what I sang!?” I yelled. “I’m not stupid, I’m not making this shit up, I know what I did!”

“Just chill, man,” Jared said, calmer. “Why did you do it? I mean, everything just seem so hostile between you two and the next thing we knew, she was gone and it was over.”

“I just..I don’t know,” I mumbled. “It was all on me. I didn’t like how serious it had all become and I drove her away.”

“But, why?” Jared asked again.

“Come on, man, you know me, when have I ever stayed with one girl for a month, let alone a year? I got scared and tried to find the easiest way out.”

“And do you want her back? Do you miss her?”

“Of course I fucking miss her. But damage is done, it’s over,” I said.

“It’s never over until you allow it to be. If you want her back in your life, you gotta work for it. Fix the mistakes.”

And with that he walked back to the studio, leaving me alone again. I knew I had to work for it, I just didn’t know if I wanted to yet. Last thing I knew, Halvo had mentioned that Tash would be coming back to the states soon as they were heading out on another tour. That meant if I was going to seriously work on getting her back, I had to come up with a plan. I pulled out my phone and started tapping the screen.

To: Halvo
Hey man, you know if Tash is back here yet?

Not long after I received a reply.

From:Halvo
Yeah she is, she text me two days ago saying she was back. You better not even think about going and messing with her.

To: Halvo
I’m not. Trust me.

After this I went back and joined the rest of the guys as we all worked on mixes of songs and how we wanted them to sound. We did this for the rest of the day and ended up in the studio late into the night as we perfected every sound we heard. As we all came up with ideas, we’d try them out and then maybe try something different and then got back to the original idea or maybe try something else completely. This was how it went with every song. By the time we were done, we must have spent about 10 hours in the studio.

As we all retreated to the living area of the place we’d rented out, Colby pulled me aside.

“I’ve already mixed the vocals of I’m Sorry with the music. I’ve emailed you the song, thought you’d want to hear how it came out,” he explained.

“Thanks man,” I said, nodding at him. I grabbed my laptop and headed to my bedroom area.

I signed into my emails and sure enough, sat there in my inbox was the song we had just put together. I pressed play and listened as it played out. I was happy with the way it came out, so much that before it was even halfway through, I was opening a new email and attaching it. I typed in the email address I knew so well and typed a simple message. I had become a man of few words recently, it was the easiest way to be.

Tash,

I’m Sorry.

John.