Simple Kind of Life

Avery brought her mug of coffee to her lips during one of those rare moments when she had time to breathe. Of all the grades that passed through her doors, the kindergarten class was the most challenging. While they were creative and genuinely enjoyed art, they needed 100% surveillance. Constant hovering was absolutely necessary.

She placed her mug on her desk and hurried over to a student with her hand raised. Her name was Samantha and she was a nice kid. She was always very helpful and kind to the other students.

“Miss Nana,” Avery smiled at the shortened version of her last name. Kids always seemed to have trouble with Nanahara. “I can’t find my glue.”

Avery nodded and began to scan the floor for her runaway glue stick. Her eyes settled on the resident troublemaking, Lowell. He was being unusually quiet today.

“Lowell?” He looked up at her with rounded eyes, but he remained silent. “Lowell, did you eat the glue again?”

He shook his head vigorously, swaying his shaggy hair back and forth. Avery narrowed her eyes at him. “Why won’t you talk to me?”

The child shrugged. “Is it because you can’t open your mouth?”

Lowell nodded sadly, making Avery sigh. “I’ll call the nurse.”

Avery headed over to the classroom phone hanging on the wall and dialed the nurse’s extension.

“Nurse’s office.” Came the soft voice of the school nurse. She was an older woman with the patience of a saint.

“Hey Susan, it’s Avery.”

“Oh hey, Av, what’s up?”

“I got a glue eater here.”

Her sigh resonated through the phone. “Lowell again?” Avery chuckled.

“Yep.”

“I’ll send a hall monitor up for him.”

Avery hung up and turned to see an unfamiliar man holding a big bouquet of red roses enter her classroom. The buzz of the children ceased and the room became silent as he approached.

“Are you Avery Nanahara?” He asked, looking her over. She nodded. “Sign here please.” He held out a clipboard for her. Avery pulled a pen out of her ponytail and scribbled her name on the billing sheet.

“Thank you.” She breathed out as he handed her the roses. They were beautiful and smelled amazingly sweet.

“Miss Nana, do you have a boyfriend?” One of her students asked, a smirk on his face.

Avery shrugged before placing the flowers on her desk. “No, Jack. Just a really good friend.”

She sifted through the velvety flowers and found the card attached.

I miss you. Meet me for dinner at Casa Rosa around 5.

Avery couldn’t stop the huge smile that crossed her face. It had been a long two weeks and she was actually looking forward to seeing Jeff. The day couldn’t have gone any slower. All Avery could think about was her first official date in a long time.

She hurried home and begged Aaron to watch Lili for a few hours. After offering to pay for pizza and extend his curfew on the weekend, her brother relented. She hugged him tightly and jogged up the stairs to her room. She curled her long hair and dusted her face with a light layer of makeup before slipping into a little black dress and heels.

Avery headed downstairs to see Lili kneeling on the floor with her coloring book propped up on the coffee table and scribbling away while Aaron was on the couch next to her playing Mortal Kombat.

“Look Lil, I’m ripping his head off.” The tiny girl looked up from her coloring and grimaced.

“Mom! Airhead is ripping heads off!” Avery sighed as Aaron glowered at the nickname his niece had given him.

“Aar, stop ripping heads off.” She said automatically while gathering her cell phone and purse. Her brother took a sidelong glance at her.

“Why do you look like that?”

Avery frowned. “What is it? My hair? Makeup? What?”

Aaron shrugged, turning his attention back to the game. “Nothing. You look beautiful. Amazing, really. Why do you look amazing?”

“I’m going out.”

“With Angie?”

Avery shook her head. “No. Jeff asked me out.”

Her brother paused his game and grinned at her. “So is it official? You’re not just screwing him?”

Lili’s eyes widened and looked over at her mother, knowing Aaron was saying something bad.

“Watch your mouth around your niece.” Avery warned, frowning at the teen. “And I don’t know if it’s official. I guess we’ll talk about it.”

She handed Aaron a couple bills for the pizza and kissed them goodbye. She drove to one of her favorite Italian restaurants and was seated in a booth a little before 5pm. The waitress had brought Avery a glass of wine when someone sat across from her.

Her throat went dry and her eyes widened when she saw her husband sitting across from her. She blinked a few times, trying to convince herself it wasn’t him.

“I’m guessing you got the flowers.”

Avery’s heart dropped. She couldn’t have been more disappointed to see him instead of Jeff.

“Yeah. I got them.”

James nodded and smiled at her. “You look amazing, Av.”

Avery couldn’t deny he looked fantastic too. He had gained some weight, filling out his face. His skin was rosy and his eyes held a twinkle that she hadn’t seen in a long time. When his warm brown eyes connected with hers, any urge to leave evaporated. He reminded her of the old Jamie, before the lies, before the drugs.

“Thank you.”

Their waitress came over and took their orders, but Avery had a feeling she wouldn’t be eating much. A lump had settled in her stomach, making her nauseated. With James, she wasn’t sure what to expect from him.

“Ma told me she spoke with you.” Avery nodded, taking a big sip of wine. Maybe it would calm her nerves.

“Yeah. She told me you were in treatment. That’s great.”

He nodded, grinning proudly. “Yeah. Three months clean now.”

“So,” Avery folded her hands in front of her. “Why did you bring me here?”

James’ smile quickly faded. “You always like to cut to the chase, Av.” He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “I thought coming here, it’d be like old times.”

Avery frowned. “You do understand those times are gone, right?”

“I know, I got the divorce papers. It’s just,” He looked down at the table. “Part of the program is making amends to the people I’ve hurt. And I don’t think I’ve hurt anyone more than you.”

Avery’s lower lip quivered and her chin dimpled as she fought her instinctive need to break down into tears. She had cried so much over James, she didn’t think she had anything left for him.

It was becoming painfully obvious that she was wrong. Very wrong.

“I’m sorry about making you worry. I’m sorry for disappearing all the time. I’m sorry for being a bad father and husband,” He reached across the table and grabbed her left hand. “I’m sorry about your rings.”

She pulled her hand away and covered her face. “Don’t.” She choked out. His words brought back one of the memories she wanted so badly to forget.

Avery took her wedding rings off to make meatballs for dinner. She placed them on the window sill and neglected to put them back on afterwards. It was something she had done a million times before without consequence. But the next morning was different.

She was brushing her teeth when she peered at her reflection and saw her ringless finger. The tan line left by her jewelry always made her smile. Once she was minty fresh, she headed down the hallway. She stopped in front Aaron’s bedroom door and pounded her fist against the wood.

“School in 40 minutes, get moving!” She called through the wooden entrance. Once she heard signs of life, she moved on downstairs to the kitchen. Her eyes settled on the ledge where her rings should have been. But the spot was empty.

Avery’s heart pounded against her chest as she searched the kitchen for her wedding band and engagement ring. She could just hear James lecturing her about leaving her rings by the sink.

She was in tears when James entered the kitchen. Concern appeared on his face.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“Jamie, my rings. I put them right here and they’re gone.” She hiccupped, burying her head in his broad chest.

“I told you a hundred times not to leave them there. They probably fell down the drain.”

James spent that entire morning taking apart the pipes in hopes of finding the jewelry, but to no avail. Avery was heartbroken. The symbol of her marriage, of her love, was gone forever.

A few days went by when Avery and her husband were laying in bed together. She was nestled close to him, his rhythmic heartbeat lulling her to sleep when his words cut through the darkness.

“Av, I have a problem.”

Her eyes fluttered open and she attempted to focus on his face.

“What?”

“I can’t stop.”

“Stop what?” She whispered, sitting up and turning on the lamp next to her. It bathed the room in a soft glow and allowed her to see his somber face.

“The oxies.” Avery closed her eyes. James had gotten hurt at work a few months ago and his doctor prescribed him a powerful painkiller. But James had finished the medication weeks ago.

“I thought you finished up the prescription. You said you’ve been feeling better.”

He nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “I’ve been buying it on the street. It’s all I can think about.”

Never in her life with James did she feel like she didn’t know him. But this? This made her feel like he was a stranger.

She wrapped her arms around him and brought him close to her. “It’s going to be OK. We’ll get you help.”

“It’s not just that.” He pulled away from her.

“What is it? You’re scaring me.”

Tears were beginning to pool in the corners of his eyes. “You’re rings didn’t fall down the sink.”

Avery took a deep breath, unsure if she even wanted to ask. “What happened to them?”

He couldn’t even look at her as he uttered his next sentence. “I pawned them to buy pills.”

That was the beginning of the end. Countless rehab stints and jail time didn’t change anything, why should it be any different now?

“Don’t.” She repeated, holding her hand up.

But he didn’t listen. “I’m sorry for using drugs around our daughter, I’m sorry for not being there for her. I’m sorry about hitting you.”

“Stop!” Her voice shook and her fist collided with the table, making the plates and silverware clank. She had also drawn the attention of other restaurant patrons. Avery finally understood why he chose a very public restaurant to have this conversation in; it would prevent her from causing a huge scene. She sucked in a gulp of air and smoothed her dress with her hands.

“I have to do this. I have to make amends. Please let me make it up to you. Let me show you and Lili that I’ve changed.”

“It’s too late.”

He sighed and finally made eye contact with her. “You want those divorce papers signed?”

She sincerely hoped he wasn’t threatening her. Even if he refused to sign, she could still proceed with the divorce without him. It would cost a lot of time and money, but it could be done. Avery just didn’t want to have to involve lawyers or go through the court system.

“What do you want, Jamie?”

He looked at her with stern eyes. “I just want to see my daughter.”

Avery nodded. Since her talk with Cruz, she had given it a lot of thought. Even though her relationship with James was over, he was still Lili’s father. “You can see her, but it’s gonna be on my terms.”

He nodded. “Of course.”

“You will not come to the house until I say it’s OK.”

His eyebrows knitted together. “How will I see her?”

“She likes the park. Take her there.”

He shrugged. “Fine.”

“If I even suspect you’re high or drunk or whatever,” She pointed a finger at him. “Your time with Liliana will be over. Are we clear?”

He rolled his eyes. “Anything else?”

“You will not spend time with her without supervision. I have to be there.”

James shook his head. “So I need a babysitter just so I can hang out with my kid? That’s ridiculous.”

Avery nearly laughed in his face. If he honestly thought he could come back into Lili’s life without a probationary period, he was sadly mistaken.

The waitress returned with their meals and placed them in front of them.

“I’m sorry,” Avery looked up at the waitress, reading her nametag. “Michelle, do you think I can get this wrapped? And the check would be great.” The woman nodded and went off to grab Styrofoam containers for her veal parmesan along with the bill.

“Don’t leave, Av.”

“If you don’t want to play by my rules, we don’t really have anything else to talk about.”

Michelle returned, placing the check and Avery’s packed up meal on the table. “Can I get you anything else?”

Avery shook her head as she dug out a fifty dollar bill. She handed it to Michelle and told her to keep it. It was an outrageous tip, but Avery didn’t want to spend another second in that restaurant waiting for her change.

She could hear his footsteps behind her as she left the building and strode into the parking lot.

“Avery, stop.” He grabbed her arm, bringing her to a halt. “I just want a fresh start.”

She pulled her arm from his grasp. “I haven’t seen you in over a year, you just show up out of nowhere and you think we can just start over? You have to earn it.”

He looked down at the ground and shoved his hands in his pockets. “When can I see Lili?”

Avery shrugged. “How about Saturday? I’ll bring her to the park around noon.”

“I’ll be there.”

The woman unlocked her car and opened the door. “Please do not make me regret this.”

He nodded. “I won’t.”