Sorry That I Love You

I put my headphones in to block out the talking. Sure Charlie couldn’t hear them but I sure as hell could and it was getting annoying. Sure I liked Edward and all but I hated hearing them talk at night being all lovey dovey. I think it was mostly because I knew their relationship hurt Jacob, and I was always really close to Jake. We pretty much grew up together seeing as I always lived here with Charlie when Bella went to live with our mom, but once Bella came back Jake was more interested in her than me so we don’t really see each other anymore. I actually haven’t seen him in over a month, since the whole werewolf thing. He’s been staying away from both of us and it’s killing me. All my friends from La Push actually stopped talking to me after the accident. Me, Jake, Quil, and Embry were joking around right after they all transformed and I wasn’t allowed to know so I ended up saying something to Jake that he didn’t take as a joke and he started shaking. Embry tried to get me away fast enough but I saw Jake and Quil both transform into huge wolves and start fighting. Embry took me right to Sam Uley’s house and Sam ended up telling me everything. I haven’t talked to Quil or Jake since then and Embry only texts me every once and a while to tell me they all miss me.

I laid in bed with my iPod and started singing along to the song that just started. I closed my eyes and was deep in thought about Jake. Truth is that over the past year or so I’ve fallen for him and I thought something was going to happen between us until Bella came into the picture. I didn’t really blame him for liking Bella more though, we were exact opposites. I sometimes wondered if she was really my sister. My hair unlike her’s was an extremely dark shade of brown that almost looked black which contrasted with my light brown eyes that were only a few shades darker than the Cullen’s unlike Bella’s chocolate brown one’s. And I was taller than Bella and curvy unlike her. And the biggest contrast was the fact that I could actually tan, so I was much darker than Bella from my many summers pretty much living on the reservation at Leah Clearwater's house.

My thoughts were interrupted by a noise coming from my window. It sounded like someone was trying to climb in. As I accepted the fact that some crazy person was going to murder me I slowly sat up in my dark room to be met by a huge dark figure. I tried to slow my heart rate as they leaned over and turned on my light.

“Jesus friggen christ Jacob! Are you trying to stop my heart?” I said trying to keep my voice level so Charlie wouldn’t wake up.

“Sorry Alli” he said sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck giving me a goofy grin.

“You could have just went through Bella’s window Jake. It would have been a little less terrifying and she’s used to people coming in in the middle of the night” I said trying to sound joking but coming off a little mean.

“Why would I have went in Bella’s window if I came to see you ? That seems a little redundant Al”

“Cause your usually only here for Bella, I kinda thought you forgot about me” I said sadly trying to not cry.

He walked closer to my bed and kneeled down infront of me, bringing us eye level. “Allison Rose Swan, don’t be so dumb. Your my best friend, how could I ever forget about you ?” he said with said eyes.

“Okay maybe I was over exaggerating” I said blushing a little “But you definitely like her better” I said sadly, wondering why I was finally saying this to him.

“See, that’s where your wrong. I don’t like Bella better” he said shyly.

“It sure seems like you do” I said looking down, not able to keep making eye contact with him.

“Wrong again Alli, I don’t like anyone more than I like you” he said smiling making my heart race. There was no way this was happening. I had to be dreaming.

“Not even Embry and Quil?” I said once I remembered how to form a sentence and started to tremble slightly.

“Nope, no one more than you” he said putting his warm hand on my seemingly freezing one. “I’ve actually been wanting to tell you something, actually more like show you i guess”

“Jake I swear if you turn into a huge wolf in my room I will not think twice about going to get Charlie's gun. I’ve seen that one too many times” I said

“Haha Allison your really funny. But no that’s not it” he said smiling at me, then taking a deep breath and continuing “You’ve been my best friend for a really long time and I care about you a lot, and I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Mostly about you. And I think my feelings for you have changed a little” he said stopping mid-sentence and was permanently cut off by my lips gently meeting his.

I don’t exactly know where I got the courage to do it but I did. The kiss started very sweet and passionate. It took him a second to register what was going and then he kissed me back with the same intensity I was giving. I entwined my fingers through his hair as he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him. The kiss started to get more aggressive as he licked my bottom lip and I slightly opened my mouth and then quickly shut it earning me a quiet growl from Jacob causing me to smile into the kiss. He tried again and this time I gladly opened up, meeting his warm tongue with mine. I started to get short of breath and a little light headed so I pulled away from Jake’s lips but kept him as close as possible. He frowned at me but looked as out of breath as me.

“So uhm wow” Jake said still sounding breathless.

“Yeah sorry about that, I guess holding back feelings for someone for so long ends up building up like that” I said shyly trying to avoid eye contact. He almost instantly lifted my chin with his finger to make me keep eye contact with him.

“What’s wrong Al?”

“I feel like at any second I’m going to wake up from this dream and you’ll be over there with Bella” I said closing my eyes not wanting to see his reaction. “I just don’t wanna wake up because this is better than any dream I’ve ever had” I said feeling my cheeks turn a bright shade of red.

“Your really cute when you blush” he said before kissing both my cheeks. Causing me to blush an even deeper shade of red.

“I didn’t know you found tomatoes cute” I joked causing him to smile, which made my heart flutter. “Your going to kill me soon if you keep doing that” I said after trying to remember how to breathe.

“Well I wouldn’t want to do that” he chuckled as he brought his lips to my cheek and trailed kisses down to my collar bone making my heart practically double in speed. I heard him chuckle again after he had obviously gotten the reaction out of me that he wanted and he trailed kisses back up my neck until he found my lips. He kissed me hard this time as he picked me up and laid us both down on my bed.

‘This was going to be a long night’ I thought to myself ‘but so worth it’