If I Love You, Why Do I Keep Getting Hurt?
Carnage
“Well, here’s the thing Bert, I have some serious stuff going on in my life, and I’m finding this too hard right now.” I mumbled.
“Finding what too hard Gee?” he asked me, standing back and frowning. He knew what was coming; he had to know by now.
“This relationship. We want different things.” I glanced at him and felt a pang of guilt as hurt flashed across his face and his eyes filled with tears. He didn’t blink them away, he just let them fall.
“I want to love you, to be with you. What do you want?” he asked, the second half coming out as no more than a whisper.
“I want love, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t help the fact that I’m in love with someone else. I’m sorry.”
“I can give you love, I really can, I’ll try to change baby, I’ll be what you want, I can change,” he said, so close to falling down at my feet.
“I don’t want you to change, you are perfect just the way you are, but your not perfect for me, you know,” I said, silently pleading he’d do anything, get angry, shout, laugh, anything but fall into a pitiful mess and cry at my feet.
“Who do you love?” he whispered to me. How did he know that was the reason I was breaking up with him?
“Why would you think that?” I asked him.
“Gerard, I KNOW you.”
“It’s, I can’t say, he doesn’t feel the same way, and I won’t tell anyone until I tell him.”
“It’s Frank, isn’t it.” he said, gritting his teeth slightly.
“Yes,” I whispered, shocked that he’d guessed so perfectly, and even more shocked that I’d just confirmed it. He stood up straight and faced me.
“I’m sorry I’m not short.”
“What the hell?” I asked, puzzled by the comment.
“I’m sorry I’m not ugly.” I see where he’s going with this now. “I’m sorry I’m not some stupid idiot,” he spat in my face. Then I got angry as I realised he was insulting Frankie, my Frankie.
“You’re just jealous that I love him and not you,” I cried.
“As if. Now I’m going to teach that little bitch what happens when he screws around with MY boyfriend.”
“Bert, what did you not understand, I’m not your boyfriend anymore, I’m dumping you right here.”
“Maybe, but Frankie has still been making you fall in love with him for a long time whilst you were still my boyfriend.”
“Bert, that didn’t make any sense.”
“It did to me, anyway, duty call s bitch,” he smirked, running his hand over my face and left the living area. Then I realised what happened, and rushed into the bunk room where I saw Frankie pushed up against the wall, Bert’s hand attached to his throat. He was whimpering, but didn’t have enough breath in him to cry out.
Bert was glaring at him, a wild grin on his face. Then he noticed me standing there.
“You shouldn’t have tried to leave me baby, especially not for this thing,” he spat that last part, and Franks eyes widened in shock.
“Bert, Frankie had nothing to do with it, he doesn’t even know,” I begged frantically.
“Oh really? Well watch this Gerard, and you will learn NOT to screw with me.” I was really worried, Bert could be dangerous when he was angry. Then he brought his other hand up and punched Frankie hard in the face, twice and then hitting his nose, making it gush with crimson blood.
“BERT STOP RIGHT NOW BEFORE THIS GOES TO FAR,” I shouted at him frantically. He gave me a perverted grin, before punching him again, hitting him in the eye. Then he reached his hand down and grabbed Frank’s crotch, rubbing it hard.
“You getting happy Gee?” Bert asked. I really wasn’t/
“Bert, stop it, NOW,” I said, trying to make him see what he was doing was wrong.
“Oh so that doesn’t do it for you? Oh well,” he sighed, kneeing him in the groin and letting him drop to the floor in a pool of blood and tears. He came over to me, ruffling my hair and putting his lips to my ear and saying in a whispered tone: “Call me when you’re ready,” then licking my cheek and stepping back and out of the bunk area. I just boiled over.
“Hey Bert,” I called in a happy tone. He turned around and smiled. I punched him in the face, as hard as I could, putting all my fury into it. He stumbled backwards, holding his nose tightly.
“bitch,” he gasped, before stumbling out of the van completely, leaving me with Frankie, or the mess he had left behind.
“Finding what too hard Gee?” he asked me, standing back and frowning. He knew what was coming; he had to know by now.
“This relationship. We want different things.” I glanced at him and felt a pang of guilt as hurt flashed across his face and his eyes filled with tears. He didn’t blink them away, he just let them fall.
“I want to love you, to be with you. What do you want?” he asked, the second half coming out as no more than a whisper.
“I want love, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t help the fact that I’m in love with someone else. I’m sorry.”
“I can give you love, I really can, I’ll try to change baby, I’ll be what you want, I can change,” he said, so close to falling down at my feet.
“I don’t want you to change, you are perfect just the way you are, but your not perfect for me, you know,” I said, silently pleading he’d do anything, get angry, shout, laugh, anything but fall into a pitiful mess and cry at my feet.
“Who do you love?” he whispered to me. How did he know that was the reason I was breaking up with him?
“Why would you think that?” I asked him.
“Gerard, I KNOW you.”
“It’s, I can’t say, he doesn’t feel the same way, and I won’t tell anyone until I tell him.”
“It’s Frank, isn’t it.” he said, gritting his teeth slightly.
“Yes,” I whispered, shocked that he’d guessed so perfectly, and even more shocked that I’d just confirmed it. He stood up straight and faced me.
“I’m sorry I’m not short.”
“What the hell?” I asked, puzzled by the comment.
“I’m sorry I’m not ugly.” I see where he’s going with this now. “I’m sorry I’m not some stupid idiot,” he spat in my face. Then I got angry as I realised he was insulting Frankie, my Frankie.
“You’re just jealous that I love him and not you,” I cried.
“As if. Now I’m going to teach that little bitch what happens when he screws around with MY boyfriend.”
“Bert, what did you not understand, I’m not your boyfriend anymore, I’m dumping you right here.”
“Maybe, but Frankie has still been making you fall in love with him for a long time whilst you were still my boyfriend.”
“Bert, that didn’t make any sense.”
“It did to me, anyway, duty call s bitch,” he smirked, running his hand over my face and left the living area. Then I realised what happened, and rushed into the bunk room where I saw Frankie pushed up against the wall, Bert’s hand attached to his throat. He was whimpering, but didn’t have enough breath in him to cry out.
Bert was glaring at him, a wild grin on his face. Then he noticed me standing there.
“You shouldn’t have tried to leave me baby, especially not for this thing,” he spat that last part, and Franks eyes widened in shock.
“Bert, Frankie had nothing to do with it, he doesn’t even know,” I begged frantically.
“Oh really? Well watch this Gerard, and you will learn NOT to screw with me.” I was really worried, Bert could be dangerous when he was angry. Then he brought his other hand up and punched Frankie hard in the face, twice and then hitting his nose, making it gush with crimson blood.
“BERT STOP RIGHT NOW BEFORE THIS GOES TO FAR,” I shouted at him frantically. He gave me a perverted grin, before punching him again, hitting him in the eye. Then he reached his hand down and grabbed Frank’s crotch, rubbing it hard.
“You getting happy Gee?” Bert asked. I really wasn’t/
“Bert, stop it, NOW,” I said, trying to make him see what he was doing was wrong.
“Oh so that doesn’t do it for you? Oh well,” he sighed, kneeing him in the groin and letting him drop to the floor in a pool of blood and tears. He came over to me, ruffling my hair and putting his lips to my ear and saying in a whispered tone: “Call me when you’re ready,” then licking my cheek and stepping back and out of the bunk area. I just boiled over.
“Hey Bert,” I called in a happy tone. He turned around and smiled. I punched him in the face, as hard as I could, putting all my fury into it. He stumbled backwards, holding his nose tightly.
“bitch,” he gasped, before stumbling out of the van completely, leaving me with Frankie, or the mess he had left behind.
♠ ♠ ♠
this chapter isn't great, or at least i don't think so, comment and tell me what you think please? love to my commentors and subscribers