If I Love You, Why Do I Keep Getting Hurt?

Franks P.O.V

I really screwed up this time I think. I practically told Gerard that I wanted him. I do want him, but he’s not supposed to know that.

“Frankie, did you just say you want me?” He asked, staring into my eyes and searching deep into my soul.

“Maybe,” I said slyly, not making eye contact as best I could, his hazel orbs were mesmerizing, as I had learnt in the past.

“I hope it was,” he said confidently, and now I decided enough was enough, I was coming clean.

“Well, it was, I really like you Gerard,” I said, trying not to show the fear of rejection in my voice.

“Frankie, I’ve wanted to hear you say that for years baby,” Gerard said, grinning at me and he kissed my cheek.

“Good, because if you were only screwing around…” I said, trying to sound threatening.

“I’m so sorry Frankie,” Gerard said, and I looked at him in shock. He was biting his lip and some tears were threatening to spill over his eyes.

“What for Gee,” I said, pulling him into a hug.

“It’s all my fault Bert beat you up. I told him I liked you when I broke up with him,” he mumbled.

“I’m glad he did, because having you is worth getting beat up for,” I said, and he stopped crying straight away.

“You mean that?” he asked, hope in his eyes.

“Course I do,” I said, and I kissed his lips gently and softly, so he wouldn’t think I was being to hasty. He obviously wanted more though, and he straddled my waist and took my hair in his hands, pulling me in and deepening it. He grazed his tongue against my lip, and I instantly opened my mouth, glad to have his tongue explore every crevasse of my mouth.

“Frankie, I think I love you,” he whispered against my lips.

“Gee, I think I love you too,” I said, and he broke into a huge grin.

Gerard’s P.O.V

Frank kissed me, and said he loved me. I’m so happy right now, I don’t even care how bad things are going to be with Bert tomorrow, and I don’t care he’ll probably beat me and Frank up again. Actually I will care if he beats Frank up, but not me, I deserve it for all the hurt I’ve caused. Even though I hate Bert now, I did love him once, and I hurt him when I left him.
I didn’t hurt Frank, but I practically caused it. I hurt Mikey, mum and dad with my drinking and drugs, you know, killing myself, and I hurt the band and street team and evidently the fans by screwing up and ruining shows and rehearsals by turning up drunk.

“Gee, what’s up?” Franks sweet voice brought me out of my thoughts of self hate. Looking at Frankie’s face full of worry and love for me, I realised that I had to stay strong, if I broke this beautiful man by being selfish and killing myself it wouldn’t be fair.

“Nothing, just thinking is all,” I said, smiling reassuringly at him. He grinned back at me and kissed me hard, pushing me backwards onto the floor so he was lying on top of me, making out with me. It felt so good, better than I had ever had with anyone, sorry Bert but it’s true.

“What’re you thinking about now?” he mumbled and I told the truth.

“Having sex with you right here on the floor,” I mumbled, kissing along his jaw line and down to his neck.

“Steady on there baby, I’m not ready for that just yet,” he said, and I felt my heart flutter at him calling me baby, I’d been expecting him to say he wasn’t ready, to be honest I wasn’t ready yet either, I just enjoyed the thinking about it.

“Me either, but I like thinking about you naked,” I said, giving him a seductive smirk.

“I like thinking about you naked too,” he said, and my smile faded.

“No you don’t, or you wouldn’t when you saw me,” I said, going red.

“Why not?” he asked, cocking his head to one side in confusion. He looked really cute.

“Because I’m fat and ugly,” I said simply, hoping he wouldn’t ask any further questions, but of course he did.

“Where did you get a crazy idea like that from?”

“Bert told me loads, as did almost everyone I ever slept with, and obviously my mirror.”

“Gerard, take your shirt off.”

“What? No.”

“Now,” he said firmly, and I did as I was told. I sat there half naked and very self conscious and he stared me up and down, boring holes into my skin.

“You’re beautiful Gerard, never let anyone tell you otherwise,” he said, and I felt like he actually meant it. He planted little kisses all over my chest and stomach, and I felt like I wanted to cry. How could he do this if he didn’t really believe I was beautiful? I love you Frank Iero, never forget that.