Take This To Heart

Jack.

I stormed onto the bus, my fists clenched and my heart racing. He was not about to get away with this. Fucking dick.

And there he was, sitting on the couch like cocky little fuck, drinking a beer and watching the Ravens get killed. His eyes met mine as I walked up the steps of the bus, a soft smile on his face like he had wanted what had just happened to go well.

“Hey man! How was it?” Alex said, smirking. “Where’s Jules?”

I laughed a little. “Oh, I don’t know. Last time I saw her, she was screaming at me outside a bar saying she hated me.”

Alex’s eyes bulged but his smirk didn’t fade. “Whoa.” He paused. “Sorry bro. I don’t know what she’s had up her ass lately.”

All the other guys in the room quieted down, sipping there beers or pretending to be intensely watching the game. Or there was Flyzik, who seemed really intent on the conversation.

“Alex, why the fuck did you tell me she was on a date?” I spat out. “I had no fucking clue until you had to tell me, and now Juliet hates me.”

“It’s not my fault you crashed it-”

“What did you expect me to do?” I said. “Of course I’d be upset; she’s my best friend-”

Alex laughed, shaking his head. “Do not say that your mad at her for not telling you cause that’s the biggest piece of shit I’ve heard all day.”

I paused, looking straight into his eyes. That smirk, that smile, that glint in his eyes like he had the control here. But Alex was so wrong. He thought he hid it so well, with that confidence and how he acted like she meant shit to him. I couldn’t help but see it as obvious, and I knew all the guys in this room saw the same thing.

Alex was so in love with Jules. I had known it for years.

And as he flung these insults at me, these things that I couldn’t believe and didn’t want to hear, I knew exactly what would hurt him the most.

I could take the high road and let this go.

Nah.

“You’re so jealous, man.” I shook my head, a light flicking on inside me as the smile was wiped away instantly from Alex’s face, “Do you think she even thinks of you as more than a friend? Not even a little bit.”

Alex’s eyes burned into mine. “Why would I even care?” he said, trying to smile like this meant nothing to him.

“Cause you love her.”

He tried to brush it off again. “Yeah, she’s my best friend-”

“No. Not like that. Like a girlfriend. Like you want to fuck her. Like you know you never will, because she’ll never look twice at you-”

“Would you shut the fuck up?” Alex said, standing up.

Quickly Matt got up from the couch, moving in between Alex and I before he could get any closer. But I just stayed back, a smirk on my face and a huge hole in my heart.

“Jack you can’t even fucking talk-”

“Come on guys stop-”

“-cause you’re in love with her too but you already fucked her up and you’re too much of a dick to admit that you want her back.”

I shook my head, my eyes still pinned to the ground and slightly closed. There was nothing more that I wanted right now then to just get drunk. To just sleep for a while and wake up and have everything be the way it should be. I wanted to sleep so I could imagine that perfect universe. A place where no one got on my case about this same shit anymore.

My perfect universe was eight years ago, when she was mine.

But I had already messed that up for myself. And everyone else say it. Alex was in love with her then and still is now. And Matt is too.

And that wouldn’t have bothered me at all if I wasn’t still in love with her as well.



She never came back to the bus that night. Instead, Rian got a call from Cassadee saying Jules was going to crash on their bus. She said it was just because she needed to talk to her. But I knew that was bullshit.

I woke up with headache and immediately went over to the fridge to pull out water. The bus was stopped at a rest stop, and I got out to get some air.

I sat for a second, looking at the barely bright sky. It was weird, that things like this just made me think of Juliet.

“Hey.”

I turned and smiled slightly. “Hey.”

“Look, I’m sorry man.” Alex said, taking a seat next to me on the curb. “I didn’t mean anything with what I said to you. It was stupid.”

I nodded. “Yeah, it was.”

Alex let out a laugh. “Wow, thanks bro.”

“No, I’m sorry too!” I laughed. “I was just really pissed about Jules yelling at me and I needed to take it out on someone. And it had to be you.”

“I mean it’s alright. I get it.”

I nodded, a silence filling us as Alex took my water and sipped it. “Jules hates me.”

“I don’t think that’s true. She’s just a little pissy right now.”

“I kinda brought it on her.”

“That too,” Alex agreed. “Plus, bro, you have a playboy model girlfriend. Jules should be the least of your issues right now.”

I shrugged and my eyes stuck for a second, remembering about Annie. “Oh, yeah. I know. I don’t want her to hate me, ya know?”

Alex nodded. “Colleen is coming on tour soon.”

My eyes bulged and laughed. “Well shit.”

“Shut up,” Alex laughed before coughing and using a serious tone. “Can we just please not talk about what we talked about last night? The me and Jules thing.”

I nodded. “Sure. Annie said she’d come soon to.”

“Good luck with that bro.”

A laugh escaped my lips and my hands ran through my hair. I had a feeling inside my gut that was eating me from the inside. Like nothing coming was about to go my way.