Where You Belong

"Well, I just can't believe it!"

I giggled as I was pulled from Zack's side and into none other than the arms of his mom, Maria Baker. Once we'd finished hugging, she pulled me by the hand straight into the house, leaving Zack to let himself in and close the door behind him. Once inside, Maria looked me up and down, eyeing me carefully. With a soft smile, she pulled me into another hug, before offering me a seat on the sofa in the family room.

"Well, don't be a stranger, honey," she chuckled, gesturing towards the couch, "Have a seat!"

Zack immediately handed me the pillows from his side of the couch, and I took them with a thankful smile. While I hated lying to Zack about anything, I just wasn't ready for any more people to know about my personal life. It was an embarrassing enough situation in my eyes, and I just hated the idea of pity. No, I wasn't ready for that. I didn't think I'd ever be.

I'd convinced Zack that the symptoms I was experiencing when he was around were due to the fact that I had trouble sleeping, which I easily connected to my breakup with Michael. I was pretty sure Zack believed me, though at times, I felt as though he was suspicious of me.

As out of place as I had initially felt when I'd first arrived, I quickly fell back into the habit of feeling comfortable. Zack's parents had always been warmhearted people, and always welcome me into their home whenever I'd visited before. Maria was like a second mom to all of us, but I especially felt that way because I'd practically lived over here when growing up. I'd gotten my love of cooking just from sitting in this very kitchen. Maria was in the kitchen more than any other part of the house, always fixing family meals and inviting anyone present to join in. I'd often helped her whenever I was over, and even picked up a few ideas and recipes along the way.

It was almost as if I'd never left Huntington in the first place. The Bakers were the same as they had been the last time I'd seen them. Zack's dad, James, pulled me into a tight hug and kissed my forehead, before sending me off to Maria again, who doused me in kisses, sending me into a fit of giggles as if I were a small child. Looking around the house, it was still the same. The scent of warm herbs and spices sifted through the air, alerting me that Maria had already begun cooking. The warm color palette she'd also chosen gave the home a calm, relaxing feel. Pictures of family and friends littered every surface of the fireplace mantle, the walls, and the entertainment center, where the TV was set up. I could spot several pictures of the gang and I all over the place.

Maria and I had talked for hours, filling each other in on things we'd missed out on as if we were old friends. She told me about Zina, Zack's older sister, and how she and her family were doing. She had two children already, whom Zack apparently adored to pieces. Maria explained how Zack would spoil his niece and nephew rotten, taking the places, and buying them anything their little hearts could possibly desire. I thought it was sweet of him, but then again, I wouldn't expect any less of my best friend. That was just who he was. She also mentioned, Matt, Zack's younger brother, who was around the same age as Johnny and I, give or take a few months. Apparently, he'd taken on a few projects of his own, as he'd always had a creative streak.

"So, what are you doing now? I know you were studying business and marketing in college; did you find something that'll utilize your degree?" Maria asked with a small smile, looking over at me as she checked a pan that she had stowed in the oven.

I grinned and nodded, "Yeah, I did. I'm on the sales team at Sterling BMW over in Newport," I replied, referring to a dealership over in the next town. Maria smiled, pulling out a pan of what looked like lasagna from the oven and setting it down on the stove top.

"That's great," she exclaimed, wrapping an arm around me and kissing my cheek with pride. I had to say, Maria gave some of the best hugs. They just made you feel so light and optimistic about things. She looked towards the patio, where Zack and James were out laughing, before continuing, "And I wanna make this quick; I know my Zacky can smell food from miles away, so it won't be long before he comes in, but...I wanna know when you find out the sex so I can take you baby shopping."

I felt my stomach drop just then.

"Hey, Ma," Zack's voice sounded not even a second later. I turned to see him strolling into the kitchen, his father right behind him, "I smell food. Is it time to eat?" he asked cutely, flashing the both of us a smile.

I couldn't utter a single word as Maria smirked, "Yes, now both of you go wash your hands and set the table," she commanded with a wave of her hand, shooing them out of the kitchen.

I silently watched as she bustled about, turning the knobs on the stove off and wiping down the countertops with a wet rag. Zack and his dad came back in to gather the plates, silverware, and glasses we would need before walking over into the dining room, chatting animatedly as they went. Maria did a couple of other things before she stopped and glanced at me, taking a minute to study me.

"Honey, you look as if you've just seen a ghost!" she noted with a small chuckle, coming over to stand in front of me. When I only smiled halfheartedly in return, she grabbed onto my forearms, a worried expression crossing her face, "You look...scared." she analyzed, quickly pulling me over to the kitchen table to have a seat.

The room fell silent, though the playful banter between Zack and James continued on from the dining room, "Son, that's not the salad fork, this is the salad fork."

"No it's not, that's the desert fork. It goes over...uh, here...I think."

"Boy, everybody knows the desert fork is the biggest fork because...well, because it just is, and people like desert more than salad, and want a bigger fork for it!"

"Dad, that makes no fucking sense. Why would you give the desert the biggest fork when it has the smaller plate, but the actual food plate thing is the biggest and gets a smaller fork? It's this one!"

Maria chuckled quietly as the two argued from the other room, her gaze still on me.

Grabbing both my hands in hers, she watched me carefully, "He doesn't know, does he?" she whispered so that only I could hear, nudging her head in Zack's direction.

I shook my head, "Nobody does, other than Leana."

"And you're scared of his reaction?" she sighed knowingly, a soft smile still gracing her face.
"I'm scared of everyone's reaction," I answered truthfully, "I didn't plan for this, and I just don't want everyone to look at me differently."

"What's there to be scared of, baby?" Maria asked, furrowing her eyebrows, "Your friends will support you through thick and thin, you know that. And Zack will be ecstatic; it's just what he needs after the way that...that thing ripped it heart out and stomped all over it." she spat hatefully towards the end.

With a sigh, I lowered my head, "I know, I just...I feel like if there's no one there to acknowledge it, then I don't have to face reality. I can go on living in denial, as if this whole thing hadn't happened."

"Sweetie," Maria gasped, pulling me closer to her, "I'm sure you didn't plan for this, but things always happen for a reason. I was shocked myself when you came walking through that door, glowing like nothing I'd ever seen. I hadn't thought you and Zack would get together so quickly, especially after having been back for only a few short weeks, but I'd always known that the two of you would get togeth--"

"Wait, wait," I interrupted, my head snapping up as I looked at her with wide eyes, "Zack and I aren't together. We're friends, like we always have been." I stared at her incredulously.

Maria's eyes went just as wide, her mouth dropping open, "You mean...it's, it's not...?"

"It's not his," I whispered with a sigh, placing a hand on my stomach as I felt it churn, "My ex, Mike--"

"What do you mean your ex?" Maria demanded suddenly, whispering harshly as she placed a hand on her hip, her eyes narrowing into little slits.

I'd never seen her angry like this before, and now I knew where Zack's anger issues came from.

With a sigh, I looked away from her heated gaze, "We decided to call things off when he found out. He said...he said he wasn't ready." I answered vaguely, deciding not to mention Mike's suggestion of abortion.

"Well, I ought to fucking--" she growled, going quiet the instant she heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. Zack and James both walked in, noticing the tension that had thickened the air immediately. I removed my hand from my stomach, which was carefully hidden under an empire waist dress.

"Whoa, what's goin' on in here?" James asked curiously, walking over and wrapping an arm around Maria's shoulders, pulling her into his side. I couldn't help but smile at the affection he'd shown her, and the smile that had immediately replaced the frown on her face.

"Yeah, the tension in here is thick enough to cut with a knife," Zack noted, standing behind me as I stayed seated, his hands placing themselves on my shoulders, kneading the tense spots in between my shoulders. "You two okay?"

"We're fine," Maria smiled sweetly at Zack, who nodded instantly. James, however, knew his wife better than that, and eyed her suspiciously. Maria cut him a look that told him not to ask, and he removed his gaze from hers quickly. "We were just...doing a little gossiping." she fibbed, eyeing me, then the lasagna.

"Yup," I answered quickly, standing from my chair and pushing it back under the table, "If you two will grab drinks, then we'll bring the food out."

With a shrug, Zack pressed a hand to my lower back, sending shivers down my spine, before he and his father both raided the fridge for drinks. While they grabbed a few beers for themselves, they took out a pitcher of homemade lemonade, knowing it was Maria and I's favorite. As soon as they were gone, I looked back to Maria, who was smirking at me.

I cocked an eyebrow at her behavior, "What?"

"Those hormones sure are raging like hell, huh?"

***

"Did you have fun at mom and dad's?"

Biting my lip, I tried to contain myself as Zack's warm breath ghosted over the back of my neck. Goosebumps rippled across my skin as warm fingertips danced across my shoulders and traveled down the skin of my back, settling finally on my hips. I felt a pool of heat gather in the pit of my stomach as Zack's hands slid forward, wrapping around my middle as he leaned forward and rested his chin on my shoulder.

I swallowed hard, "I-I did," I squeaked softly as he turned his head and allowed his lips to lightly press a feathery kiss to my skin. The cold steel of hips lip rings caused that pool of heat to travel lower at an agonizing pace, settling in between my legs. "I-I've missed seeing your p-parents after all this time." I added, hoping to distract myself.

I felt his lips curve upwards into a wide grin before he turned me to face him, his eyes bright with happiness. He said nothing else as he pulled me into a hug, to which I smiled and wrapped my own arms around his neck as I returned the gesture.

To say that I was enjoying Zack's embrace was an understatement, no matter how wrong it was. We were best friends; nothing more, nothing less. However, throughout the past couple of weeks, we'd grown undeniably closer and...more comfortable with each other.

"I'm happy to hear that," he murmured quietly, looking down at me and flashing me a brilliant smile. I closed my eyes briefly as our chests pressed together, "I know they missed having you around."

It was then that I remembered that we were standing in the middle of Matt and Val's pool, and that our friends were just a few feet away, eating and talking over the burgers Matt had just grilled. Just as I tried to pull away from him, he pressed me closer to him, causing my heart to drop into the pit of my stomach. I was sure he could feel the slight bump that had now appeared on my abdomen, but he hadn't made any reaction so far. I knew it was too dark out now for him to be able to see it, but as close as he was, it was surprising that the feeling of my swollen stomach against his hadn't alarmed him.

"Hey, you two," Val called from her chair, "Come eat!"

With a soft sigh, Zack held me to his body for just a little while longer, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck. I giggled as he pressed several butterfly kisses to my skin, having always been highly ticklish. I could feel the low rumble of Zack's laughter as he begrudgingly released me from his hold, placing his hands on my hips as he helped me out of the pool. Once I was out, he pulled himself out, following me over to a chair where Val had fixed our plates and left them waiting.

The food had looked great, but I wasn't in the mood for food. The smells were swirling around my nostrils, quickly nauseating me. I focused on Zack's face in hopes to distract myself from the sickness I was suddenly feeling. Watching him as he happily ate only proved to make things worse for my stomach, and I silently looked to Leana to be my saving grace. Almost as if she could feel my gaze, she unlocked her lips from Jimmy, and jumped up.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, gaining the group's attention, "Uh, Britt, I wanna show you those cute shoes I bought the other day! Y-y'know, the ones with the uh..the, the thingies on them, y'know?"

I quickly caught on to her rouse, "Oh, oh yeah! You've gotta show 'em to me! Did you bring them?" I asked, feigning excitement. I stood up as fast as I could without further upsetting my stomach, widening my eyebrows in urgency.

"Yeah, come on! You're gonna love them, they're so cute!"

With that, Lee and I booked it into the house at top speed and headed towards an upstairs bathroom. Closing the door behind her, Leana knelt behind me as I threw myself at the porcelain seat and emptied every last bit of food I'd had today from my stomach. It wasn't as bad as it usually was, but for me, my morning sickness was apparently much worse than that of most pregnant women.

Sighing helplessly, I wiped my mouth and stayed in my position on the floor, my breathing heavy and labored. I was honestly feeling miserable at this point, and I couldn't help but get emotional. As soon as the first round of tears had trickled their way down my cheeks, Lee sighed and pulled me to her, for a hug. I slumped against her, having lost the majority of energy I'd had, yet I wrapped my arms around her none the less as I silently cried.

"It's just so hard," I croaked, gingerly placing a hand on my swollen abdomen, "I never expected it to be this hard."

"Well, what did you expect?" Leana replied softly, rubbing my back, "It's motherhood; it's never going to just be a walk in the park."

She was right. People often underestimated such an experience. And I had never thought that I would or even did. I knew that whenever I became pregnant, I'd always have a tough road ahead of me, especially once the baby was born. But according to the doctors, my pregnancy would take a lot of extra care because it was so rough on my body. And while I wouldn't change anything about my current situation, I just wished that I didn't have to do this alone.

"I-I just wish he would've stayed, sometimes," I whispered brokenly after a few minutes, causing her to sigh in return, "I wish he would've wanted this as much as I do. It kills me to know that he wants nothing to do with us now, because I know that somewhere inside of me, I still love him. Somewhere inside of me, I'm still waiting for him to show up one day and tell me that he'd made a mistake; that he'd changed his mind."

Leana stayed silent, as I had expected. There were no reassuring words anyone could give me when it came down to wondering if Michael would ever change his mind.

Or if he'd ever loved me in the first place.