Polaroid Cancer

Niall’s howling perforated loudly through the apartment. Chum is laying near Casey’s bed, whimpering softly, while she is hiding under the covers. Her head ached in relentlessness. Stomach churning in an uncomfortable manner, she lay there silently crying to herself. It was beginning to be too hard for her to breathe anymore.

“Casey?” A quiet voice calls out from the doorway to her bedroom. When no reply is given, there is soft padding of bare feet on carpet, drawing closer to Casey’s side. Warm breath tickles her face when they kneel down, “Casey, take this. It’ll ‘elp calm yeh.”

Nodding her head, she puts her hand out to take the pill.

Tom stands back up once he knows she has swallowed it, and goes out to take care of Niall, who is still fussing noisily out in the living room.

He bends down to pick up the infant, “Damn, yeh gettin' huge, kid.”

Sniffling, Niall smiles brightly up at Tom as he goes to warm up a bottle that was in the fridge. Tom smiles back and rocks him to and fro.

Tears abruptly splash on Niall’s cheeks. “M’sorry,” Tom mutters, wiping at his eyes. He quickly grabs the bottle and begins feeding him. After his fill, Tom places the baby into his crib and he almost instantly falls asleep. Taking a deep breath, Tom makes his way to Casey’s bedroom.

“Oli?” She exclaims, sitting up a little.

“Yeah?”

“You’re finally home?” Casey says, slightly swaying from side to side.

“I am,” Tom replies.

“Thank God… I missed you horribly. Whatever you gave me… I feel a bit weird, but better… my head doesn’t hurt so much.” The room is almost pitch dark when Tom shuts the door behind him. Outside, the crickets sound ridiculously loud now that Niall is quiet.

Tom inches closer to the bed, he shouldn’t be doing this but he is. The loneliness he had been feeling has been wrapping its cold fingers around his heart more and more lately. He crawls into bed next to Casey, she grabs for his hand and squeezes it once she catches hold.

“I’ve missed you so much, Oli,” She sobs, “I can’t do this on my own, anymore.”

“It’s okay, now…” Tom leans nearer to her face, so that their lips are mere centimeters apart. He feels extremely warm, as if a furnace has been started up in his chest and the heat has spread through out his body. He presses his lips to Casey’s and both of them start kissing frantically, all care tossed to the side. Their clothes begin to be desperately peeled off and lost in the tangle of blankets.

As wrong as this was, Tom couldn’t help but enjoy every second of this moment.



Tom rustles awake and stares wide eyed around him. Casey is curled up in the crook of his arm, still sleeping soundly. Dark purple stains are under her eyes from lack of rest, so he lays there, allowing her to get as much sleep as she can. His bare chest slowly rises and falls in time with Casey’s breathing.

Their naked forms is proof of what they did last night and nothing can take it back.

Guilt bites down viciously in Tom’s mind. What have I done…

Casey stirs and slowly opens her eyes, letting them adjust to the morning light filtering in.

“Tom…” She sits up suddenly, realizes she is naked and quickly covers herself with the nearest blanket. “What the… what the fuck did we do? Oh, God. Oh, God.” Scrambling to her feet, Casey darts into the bathroom and locks herself in.

“Casey! Please, come out!” Tom pleads, jumping up and pounding on the bathroom door. Not receiving a reply, he jostles around to find his clothes and pulls back on his boxers, pants and t-shirt. Shame looms heavily over him as he returns to where Casey is hiding. “Please, answer me…”

“Why?” She asks. He can tell that she is crying.

Tom hardly knows what to say. Part of him had wanted her to just feel better and the other part of him wanted to make himself feel better. “Yeh were lonely, an’… I jus’ wanted yeh t’not be so sad.”

“That’s no reason to trick me into having sex with you, Tom!” Casey yells, her voice hitching when she says his name. “Fuck! What did you give me last night? I vaguely remember you giving me something.”

“It was a Xanax…” Tom replies, staring pointedly at the milky-white carpet. It was a high dose of Xanax, too. The top of his head is pressed against the door when he thinks about it.

Casey presses her lips together in a thin line, forcing herself to not scream at him until her lungs burst. “It’s not fair what you did to me, Tom. That’s rape. And I trusted you. I trusted you.”

His stomach clenches tightly, “M’sorry, Casey. I really am. God, m’so, so sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t going to fix what you did. But… but I’ll try to forgive you. Not now though… ” Casey sighs heavily, “Right now, you need to get out of my home. I’ll… I’ll text you when you can come back.”

Shoulders slumped, Tom left without saying a single word. Miserable didn’t even come close to how he was feeling. Nothing could describe the tenseness in his stomach and the swirling emotions that collided around in his mind. He wished he could take everything back. What an idiot he had been for taking advantage of Casey at her most vulnerable.

He froze in his tracks as soon as he opened the front door leading out of Casey’s flat. His clear blues eyes widen in surprise, not at all anticipating the older couple standing in front of him. They look just as shocked as he is, their mouths partly open and staring back with confusion etched into their faces. Tom quickly turns around, trots off and taps hastily on Casey’s bedroom door.

“Two people are ‘ere. Yeh better go an’ see. I promise I’m no’ lyin’.”

There is silence for about three minutes until finally the door opens, revealing Casey in one of Oliver’s jumpers and wearing a pair of her black leggings. She quickly pads passed Tom to see who it is. The couple are now standing in the living room, peering around them with mouths still agape. Their eyes land on the crib with the snoozing Niall, the woman’s eyes linger on that long after the man has stopped, who has turned his attention to Casey and Tom.

“Mother…? Dad…?” Casey says, ample eyed.