Mother ***

I sit there staring at him. Wondering what he's thinking about. Wondering what he's going to do next. I'm wondering what I've done. I seem to have changed everything... We were best friends... I decide to break the silence.

"Jonny, what're you thinking about?"

He looks into my brown eyes with his before he replies. "I'm trying to figure out what to do with you. I know you like me and I liked you, but it was a little too awkward for me..."

I look down from his face. Why is it so awkward? I honestly don't understand... I thought we could have something... I guess not. "Oh. What made it awkward?"

He sighs and looks down at his hands that he's fidgeting with. "You were more of a best friend... I know we hadn't seen each other in a year when we first started talking again, but since then you became more of a best friend than anything."

I can't believe I'm being told this... I'm usually the one telling the best friend that. I knew he wouldn't feel the same for me for long... I just wish he wouldn't have kissed me that night to make me think that. "Why did you kiss me then?"

He sighs again and looks straight in my eyes. "I told you it felt right, and at the time it did. It's just now, it's a little awkward..."

I sit there close to tears but he doesn't seem to notice. I'm trying so hard not to cry. I don't think he knows how much he's hurt me in the past week and a half. I thought I had found a guy that would treat me right, a guy that would kiss me in the rain and do sweet things. I guess I was wrong. I guess I have a bad judgement in men... I guess I don't really care anymore. But if I didn't, why does it hurt so much?

"Maggie?" I hear him whisper.

"Yeah?" I whisper back.

"Come here." He motions to the spot next to him for me to sit in. I get up and plop down next to him but still don't say anything. "What's wrong?"

"What do you think? I feel like I got my heart ripped out... I wanted you, just you. I poured my heart out to you all the time, and now you don't seem to care like I thought you did."

"I do care still hun, but it may not be in the way you'd want me to." He replied and put an arm around me.

"I just wanted to try us out, but you already have a new girl. So I don't know how close we'll be now. I don't know how much I can trust you anymore. You went behind my back and told my best friend things that you should have told me first."

"I see now that I should've told you first, but I just didn't want to talk to you."

"Why?" I asked, hurt laced thickly in my voice.

"You seemed annoying and I didn't want to blow up on you..."

"I wish you would've told me that sooner... You told my best friend that too instead of telling me..."

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings..."

"Jonny, do you really think that telling my best friend and hearing it from her makes it any better?! No! It's doesn't! It makes it ten times worse!"

"I'm sorry Maggie. I really am..." He said as he pulls me onto his lap sideways and hugs me.

"I don't know if I can believe you." I said and then finally realized I had been crying. I didn't know I was until Jonny wiped away a stray tear.

"Please don't cry. You're too beautiful to cry." He said with a soft smile.

I tried to smile back and replied to him. "Sorry, I just don't know what to do right now other than cry. I feel so worthless. It seems like every relationship I get into or try to get into I ruin it..."

"Hun, you haven't ruined anything. Just give me a few minutes or so to think about a few things. I'll be right back. I need a little alone time to think. You can watch a movie or something if you'd like." He said as he walked towards the stairs to his room.

"Okay." Was all I had to say to him.

I ended up watching P.S. I Love You. Jonny came back upstairs and sat next to me. We finished the movie together starting at the part where the girl finds a new guy.

"Hey." He said when the credits started to roll. "Why are you crying?"

"That movie always makes me cry. Don't worry about it." I said.

"Okay. I won't then." He said as he grabbed my chin lightly to look at him. "Did you know your eyes have a certain glow to them after you get done crying?"

"Really? I didn't know that." I said with a slight blush as I tried to move my head but he had a firm yet soft grip on my chin. He started to move forward a little and I shut my eyes. I was waiting for him to whisper something else into my ear that will hurt me. What he did next tho surprised me. He kissed me. Not just a peck, but a full on kiss with so much passion. It only lasted a few seconds, but it left me wanting more...

"What was that for?" I asked.

"You deserved it. I'm so sorry for hurting you... I want to make it up to you..."

"What about Mack? I thought you guys were dating?"

"Not anymore... I decided what I needed and wanted was in front of my face all summer..."

"I love you Jonny..." I said with tears slowly rolling down my face.

He wiped them away and smiled softly at me. "I love you too Maggie."