One of the Boys

Six weeks later my leg was healed and I was glad that I could drive myself to work again and do stuff. During those six weeks Joe had drove me to work and each time there was an awkward silence. I didn’t turn on the radio because of what had happened last time, so there was an awkward silence that was so thick it was almost suffocating. When I got home for work Nick would call and check up on me and sometimes we would go somewhere and hang out just so I could get out of the house. Nick and I grew closer and while things with Joe and I got more awkward.

During those six weeks I had a lot of time to think and I realized who I had real feelings for, Nick. I loved spending more time with him than I did with Joe, I found everything reminding me of Nick, when ever I heard a love sing on the radio I thought of Nick, he was the only one I wanted. I found myself getting over those crush feeling for Joe. I had to tell Joe. Even if I never got a chance with Nick, I couldn’t lead Joe on when I didn’t like him anymore. I would always be Joe’s friend, but I didn’t want to date him. I was planning on telling him tonight. I picked up my cell phone and called Joe.

“Hello?” he answered. It suddenly felt awkward. Joe and I hadn’t talk since that first day he drove me to work, I mean, we always said hi to each other everyday, but we never had a real talk. I took a deep breath.

“Hi, Joe. It’s Alex,” I said. Joe was silent for a moment.

“So, I guess you called to tell me you don’t need me to drive you to work since your foot is healed,” he said with no emotion.

“Um, yes, but I also wanted to see you. I have to talk to you,” I said.

“You mean you want to go out on a date?” Joe asked.

“No, I just need to see you, I have to tell you something,” I repeated.

“Well, why can’t you tell me over the phone?” he asked. I groaned on the inside. Why did he have to make this so difficult? I couldn’t tell him over the phone that I was breaking up with him. I wasn’t that shallow.

“Fine, yes, I want to go out on a date,” I said.

“Awesome! I’ll pick you up in a few,” Joe said happily. This was not going as planned.

Joe arrived at my house ten minutes later. He was dressed nice. He was wearing a blue button down shirt with small green stripes and nice black pants and his hair was combed nicely. We walked to his car and Joe opened the door for me then he got in his side. He closed the car door and handed me a blindfold. I looked at it confused.

“Put it on,” Joe said. I put the blindfold around my eyes and Joe tied it.

“Why do I have to out this on?” I asked him.

“We’re going somewhere special and I want it to be a surprise,” he said. I heard the radio turn on. The sounds of Switchfoot filled the car.

About twenty minutes later the car stopped and I Joe turn the car off. I reached for the blindfold to take it off, but I felt a hand grab my wrist, stopping me.

“We’re not there yet, we have to walk the rest of the way,” Joe said. I heard Joe’s car door open and a minute later I heard my car door open. I felt Joe take hold of my hand and help me out of the car. It was like I was wearing the cast again.

“Don’t worry I won’t let you fall,” Joe said. Joe and I walked for about ten minutes before we stopped.

“Can I take the blindfold off now?” I asked impatiently.

“Just a minute,” Joe said. I felt him let go of my hand. Everything was silent for a moment.

“Ok, you can take the blindfold off now,” Joe said. I pulled the blindfold off and when I did I was breathless. I was standing on a cliff. Beyond the cliff was the ocean, and the sun was just setting in the horizon, painting the sky beautiful shades of pink and blue. I turned around to see Joe standing behind me smiling. I heard the song When You Look Me In The Eyes playing in the background. I looked behind Joe and saw a stereo. I looked back at Joe. He took my hands on his.

“I know the last few weeks have been awkward between us, but I never stopped loving you,” he said.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked, looking in my eyes. I was really second guessing myself now. I thought I was over Joe, so why did I want to grab him and kiss him? Did I mistake awkwardness for not having feelings for Joe?

Joe kept looking at me, waiting for my answer. I didn’t know what to say, so I just started back at him.

“Alex?” He asked. I didn’t answer. Joe pulled him arms around my waist and leaned in and kissed me. After a moment he pulled away.

“Alex, will you be my girlfriend?” he asked again. I sighed. I couldn’t give him a definite answer until I was sure it was what I wanted.

“Joe, I need to think about it, just give me some time, ok?” I asked. He nodded.

“You can have all the time you want,” he said. I stepped back.

“This was really nice of you, but I have to get home. I have work tomorrow,” I said.

“Ok. I’ll take you home,” he said sadly. He picked up the stereo and turned it off. He led the way back to the car and we got in. Joe turned the radio on.

“I hope you know, I hope you know, this has nothing to do with you, it’s personal, myself and I, we got some straightening out to do.”

Fergie’s voice filled the car. It was weird how much I could relate to this song. I wanted to change the station, but it was like I was frozen in my seat. All I could do was listen to the song. The tension between us built more and more as we drove to my house.

When we got to my house Joe walked me up to my porch.

“Goodnight Alex,” he said. He leaned forward to kiss me but I stepped back. He looked at me surprised. I didn’t want to kiss him until I was sure he was the one I wanted.

“I’ll see you later,” I said. Joe nodded. I could tell he was hurt. He walked back to his car and drove away. I walked in my house. It was dark outside so I changed and got in bed, but I couldn’t sleep. I needed to figure out who I really loved. I couldn’t leave Joe hanging, waiting for me.

I sat in bed and thought back to when it all started. I had met Nick first at Wal-Mart when his car broke down. Then we spent the day together. I met his family later that day and the next day I went to lunch with them. A few days later Nick drove me home from hanging out at his house. He kissed me while he was teaching me guitar then he yelled at me and left. The next day Joe asked me out and I said yes, thinking it would help me forget about Nick. Suddenly it hit me, I had only agreed to go out with Joe so I could forget about Nick, I hadn’t said yes because I really liked him, I mean, I thought he was nice and all, but I didn’t like him that way, I had always loved Nick. I realized today that I had got caught up in the moment when we were on the cliff, but no anymore, no second guessing myself, no more turning back, I had to break up with Joe tomorrow as soon as I got out of work. I laid down and went to sleep, not looking forward to breaking Joe’s heart tomorrow.



The next day I woke up and immediately called Joe.

“Hello?” a sleepy voice answered.

“Hey, Joe, it’s Alex. I need to talk to you after I get off work,” I said.

“Ok. I’ll pick you up at your house after work. When do you get off?” Joe asked.

“1:30,” I answered.

“Ok, see you later. Bye,” he said.

“Bye,” I hung up my cell phone and put it on my bed. I changed into my work clothes and walked outside to my car. I skipped breakfast today, not feeling hungry.

When I got to work I was assigned to stock the shelves since my leg was better.



The time passed quickly and before I knew it my shift was over. I drove home and when I got there I saw Joe’s car was waiting in my driveway. I pulled up next to him, parked my car, and got out. I saw Joe get out too. He walked around to my side and opened my door. I got in an Joe walked around and got in on his side.

“Joe I-” I started, but Joe interrupted me.

“Put this blindfold on,” he said. I sighed. I put the blindfold on. I would just have to wait until we got wherever we were going to break up with him. I heard Joe turn the radio on.

“The world slows down, but my heart beats fast right now, I know this is the part where the end starts, I can’t take it any longer, thought that we were stronger, all we do is linger, slipping through my fingers, I don’t want to try now, all that’s is goodbye to find a way that I can tell you, I hate this part right here, I hate this part right here, I just can’t take your tears, I hate this part right here.”

How ironic is it that this song would play just when I was about to break up with Joe? I sat back and tried to relax during the ride.

Ten minutes later the car stopped. I heard Joe get out then a minute later I heard my car door open. I felt Joe hold my hand and lead me. I could hear seagulls and waves crashing onto a shore. We must be at the beach.

“You can take the blindfold off now,” Joe said. I untied the blindfold and gasped at the beautiful beach in front of me. There was white sand and a clear crystal ocean in front of me. I saw a sign to my left. The North Beach, it read. I saw Joe from the corner of my eye, and I remembered I had to break up with him. I took a deep breath.

“Joe, I can’t do this anymore,” I said.