Status: complete <3
Ten things to do before I die
Eleven
Today was the worst day of my life. The day I had to bury my best friend, the mother of my child, the love of my life, my beautiful wife Emma.
Madeline was sitting on Oli’s lap on my bed. She was only three years old and there she was, dressed and ready for her mother’s funeral.
My mum knocked on my door softly. “You ready love?”
I looked up from the picture I was holding in my hand and nodded. “Yeah.”
I picked Maddy up off the bed and we walked down to the living room where my dad and Amanda were waiting for us.
“Are we leaving daddy?”
I nodded. “Yeah baby, we’re leaving.”
I put Madeline in her car seat and started the drive to the cemetery. I had thought about burying her in America near her grandparents, but I couldn’t. Madeline had already lost Emma so I couldn’t go and bury her in another country. At least if she was here Maddy could still visit her in some sense.
We were some of the first people to arrive at the cemetery. Madeline, Oliver, Amanda, My mum, Dad and I all sat in the chairs that were set up for us, and waited for everyone else to arrive.
The service went by in a blur. I was just focused on the casket that was holding my wife. I was clearly crying, but I didn’t care. I was allowed to cry. Madeline eventually crawled into my lap and buried her face into my neck. I could feel the tears falling from her eyes on my neck. I rubbed small circles on her back to calm her down, just like I used to do to her Mum.
The service came to an end and everyone came up to Maddy and I giving us their condolences. Eventually they all became just a blur of faces and words, even my best friends, I was sick of hearing how sorry everyone was.
I was standing at the foot of Emma’s grave when Oli came up to me. “Tommy.”
“Can you take Maddy? I just…I want to say goodbye.”
A few tears fell from my brother’s eyes as he picked up Madeline. “Come on Pop, let’s give daddy a minute.”
I sat down on the ground and let out a shaky breath before I started talking. “I always knew this could happen, but I didn’t let it stop me from loving you. I fell in love with you the minute you walked into the shop. You looked so lost, but I’m glad you came in, and I’m glad you found me.” I wiped the tears from my face and sighed again. “God, I miss you already. I love you Emma, and I always will. We may not have done everything the way everyone thought we should, but we did love each other, I have no doubt in my mind about that. You made me the happiest man on the planet. And you gave me the most beautiful daughter. I see so much of her in you already. I don’t want you to worry about Maddy. It will take a while, but we’ll be okay. I’ll never forget you Emma, neither will Maddy. I won’t let her. She’ll know what an amazing, strong woman her mother was. I love you baby.”
“Daddy?” Maddy’s small voice came from behind me.
I wiped my face quickly and turned around. “Yeah sweetie?”
“I want to say bye to mummy too.”
Fresh tears fell from my eyes and I held my hand out to her. “Come here.” I pulled her onto my lap and let her start talking.
“Mummy, I love you. You were the bestest mummy ever. Gran told me you’re going to watch me from heaven, and that God made you better. I just wanted you to feel better mummy. I’m glad you’re not sick no more, but I miss you. And daddy misses you. And Phoebe misses you.”
I let the tears roll down my face as I listened to my three year old speak. “We all miss her Maddy.”
“Daddy I don’t want you to be sad anymore.”
I kissed her forehead. “I know baby. But it will take a while before I stop feeling so sad.”
“I love you daddy.” Maddy stood up and wrapped her little arms around my neck.
“I love you too.”
She looked just like Emma in that moment, and right then and there I knew we would be okay. It would take time, but we would make it through this.
“Come on sweetie, let’s get home.”
Maddy looked back at the grave and waved one more time. “Bye mummy. We’ll be back soon.”
Madeline ran off towards Oli who was still in the parking lot. I looked back once more as well. “I love you Emma.”
Madeline was sitting on Oli’s lap on my bed. She was only three years old and there she was, dressed and ready for her mother’s funeral.
My mum knocked on my door softly. “You ready love?”
I looked up from the picture I was holding in my hand and nodded. “Yeah.”
I picked Maddy up off the bed and we walked down to the living room where my dad and Amanda were waiting for us.
“Are we leaving daddy?”
I nodded. “Yeah baby, we’re leaving.”
I put Madeline in her car seat and started the drive to the cemetery. I had thought about burying her in America near her grandparents, but I couldn’t. Madeline had already lost Emma so I couldn’t go and bury her in another country. At least if she was here Maddy could still visit her in some sense.
We were some of the first people to arrive at the cemetery. Madeline, Oliver, Amanda, My mum, Dad and I all sat in the chairs that were set up for us, and waited for everyone else to arrive.
The service went by in a blur. I was just focused on the casket that was holding my wife. I was clearly crying, but I didn’t care. I was allowed to cry. Madeline eventually crawled into my lap and buried her face into my neck. I could feel the tears falling from her eyes on my neck. I rubbed small circles on her back to calm her down, just like I used to do to her Mum.
The service came to an end and everyone came up to Maddy and I giving us their condolences. Eventually they all became just a blur of faces and words, even my best friends, I was sick of hearing how sorry everyone was.
I was standing at the foot of Emma’s grave when Oli came up to me. “Tommy.”
“Can you take Maddy? I just…I want to say goodbye.”
A few tears fell from my brother’s eyes as he picked up Madeline. “Come on Pop, let’s give daddy a minute.”
I sat down on the ground and let out a shaky breath before I started talking. “I always knew this could happen, but I didn’t let it stop me from loving you. I fell in love with you the minute you walked into the shop. You looked so lost, but I’m glad you came in, and I’m glad you found me.” I wiped the tears from my face and sighed again. “God, I miss you already. I love you Emma, and I always will. We may not have done everything the way everyone thought we should, but we did love each other, I have no doubt in my mind about that. You made me the happiest man on the planet. And you gave me the most beautiful daughter. I see so much of her in you already. I don’t want you to worry about Maddy. It will take a while, but we’ll be okay. I’ll never forget you Emma, neither will Maddy. I won’t let her. She’ll know what an amazing, strong woman her mother was. I love you baby.”
“Daddy?” Maddy’s small voice came from behind me.
I wiped my face quickly and turned around. “Yeah sweetie?”
“I want to say bye to mummy too.”
Fresh tears fell from my eyes and I held my hand out to her. “Come here.” I pulled her onto my lap and let her start talking.
“Mummy, I love you. You were the bestest mummy ever. Gran told me you’re going to watch me from heaven, and that God made you better. I just wanted you to feel better mummy. I’m glad you’re not sick no more, but I miss you. And daddy misses you. And Phoebe misses you.”
I let the tears roll down my face as I listened to my three year old speak. “We all miss her Maddy.”
“Daddy I don’t want you to be sad anymore.”
I kissed her forehead. “I know baby. But it will take a while before I stop feeling so sad.”
“I love you daddy.” Maddy stood up and wrapped her little arms around my neck.
“I love you too.”
She looked just like Emma in that moment, and right then and there I knew we would be okay. It would take time, but we would make it through this.
“Come on sweetie, let’s get home.”
Maddy looked back at the grave and waved one more time. “Bye mummy. We’ll be back soon.”
Madeline ran off towards Oli who was still in the parking lot. I looked back once more as well. “I love you Emma.”
♠ ♠ ♠
that's it folks!! thanks for reading.this was the first chapter i actually wrote for this story. it's really sad :[
but go subscribe to my Oliver Sykes story. it's still in the very beginning stages, so it might be bit longer before i start posting.