Choke on Your Misery

Zack

Over the next few weeks, things began to change. Rian and I were pretty much inseparable, especially after people started to tease me. They would tease me about barely talking, or about how Rian and I were always together, or whatever else they could think of. I was the new kid, so I was fresh meat when it came to bullying. Rian got pissed off if anyone talked shit about me, because he knew how much it bothered me. I stayed out of it; I didn’t want any trouble. I just put my iPod headphones in and attempted to ignore everyone. Sometimes that worked, but other times it didn’t.

Alex and I gradually started to become friends. He would offer to drive me home a few days a week, and would offer to drive Rian home too. Rian didn’t trust Alex at first; he thought Alex was just being nice to me because he felt sorry for me. He realized that Alex’s intentions were good, however, and Rian loosened up. Alex tried to get to know me, and I was hesitant at first. I told him small things about myself, gradually moving onto other things. I wasn’t ready to tell him everything about myself yet; I was still gaining his trust.

Alex’s friend, Jack, still pestered me in French class. The teacher had assigned Jack as my partner, and Jack used this to his advantage. He was forever asking me questions or rambling about some random thing that had happened earlier in the day. I began to get used to his babbling, and it became less awkward. I didn’t contribute much to the conversation, but Jack didn’t seem to mind. My theory was that he just liked to hear himself talk.

One day at the end of February, Rian and I sat down at our lunch table in the cafeteria. Lunch had just started, and Rian had just bought his food in the lunch line.

“I’m not exactly sure what this is,” Rian said, frowning as he poked at his soup.

“This is why I always bring a lunch,” I said with a chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah. Why do you have paint all over your hoodie?” Rian asked, gesturing toward me.

I rolled my eyes, lifting up my arm to look at the dried paint. Luckily, I had already dubbed this my ‘paint hoodie’ for days we were supposed to paint in art class. “Alex and I spilled paint on each other in art class,” I explained.

“Who spilled paint first?” Rian asked with a laugh.

“Alex came over to look at my work and knocked my paint over, and I knocked one over when I was trying to jump away from the spill.”

“Interesting. Alex really is trying to get to know you, isn’t he?” he said, smirking slightly.

“I guess so,” I shrugged, looking up. I saw Alex talking to Jack in the lunch line, and Alex kept glancing over at me. I spoke up as a thought suddenly occurred to me, “Hey, Rian? Alex is straight... right?”

Rian laughed out loud, “Yeah, he’s about as straight as a circle.” I raised an eyebrow, and he stopped laughing, still smirking, “He’s bisexual; same as you, man.”

I hit him on the arm, glancing around to make sure no one had heard him. The other kids didn’t need another reason to tease me. “Really?”

“Yeah, he’s bi. He came out of the closet in ninth grade,” Rian shrugged, taking a drink of milk.

“Good to know,” I mused. I hadn’t thought Alex to be bi, but now that Rian said he was, I could kind of tell. I was also bisexual; I had come out of the closet in ninth grade, when I realized I liked guys. That’s when most of my problems back at Towson started.

“Hey guys!” Alex said, coming up to us suddenly. “Is it okay if Jack and I sit with you?”

“Uh, sure,” I said, moving my lunch over a little. Alex sat down next to me, Jack sitting next to him. Alex didn’t usually sit with us at lunch; he usually sat with Jack and some of their friends at a table on the other side of the lunch room. This was only the third time he had sat with us, and the first time Jack had.

“Rian, you know Jack, right?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, Jack’s in my English class,” Rian said with a nod.

Jack nodded, “Yep! He drums on his desk behind me all the time. Oh, by the way, the soup is good. It’s chicken broccoli.”

“So that’s what the green pieces are. I thought it was mold,” Rian chuckled. He ate a spoonful of soup and nodded, "You're right; it is pretty good."

Jack grinned, "Told you so."

Alex looked over at me. “Sorry about getting paint all over your hoodie,” he apologized.

“It’s fine. I got paint on you, too,” I shrugged, taking a bite of my sandwich.

“Only because it was my fault to begin with,” Alex said.

"It's okay, really. The paint dried pretty quick," I assured him.

“Why didn’t you just take the hoodie off and put it in your locker? It looks weird covered in paint,” Jack piped up.

“Um, I’m cold. I didn’t want to take it off,” I lied. That wasn’t true; I was actually starting to get hot with my hoodie on. They didn’t need to know that, though. I think Alex knew I was lying, because he gave me a look, but shook his head and looked back down at lunch tray.

“It’s hot in this school though! Well, it’s hot in here,” Jack said.

“I’m cold,” I told him again.

“Well, you’re weird, because I’m dying of warmth over here,” Jack said, fanning himself with his hand jokingly.

“If he wants to keep his hoodie on, he can keep it on. It’s not a big deal,” Rian said, frowning at Jack. Jack pouted in defeat and slurped up his soup. I mouthed a silent 'thank you' to Rian, who just nodded and continued to eat. Looking at Alex, I realized that he was looking at me suspiciously. My cheeks flushed and I looked down at my food. He didn’t catch onto that, did he?