Choke on Your Misery

Alex

After my afternoon with Zack, we grew a lot closer. He began to be a little less shy with me. We hung out a few times, and I started to drive him to school in the mornings. Jack and I started sitting with Zack and Rian at lunch most days and we were all starting to become friends, little by little.

A week or so after Zack had told me his secret, Jack and I walked over to Rian and Zack's lunch table. Rian had his headphones in and was drumming on the table with his hands, while Zack was eating his lunch.

"Is Rian drumming or having a seizure?" I asked with a laugh, sitting down next to Zack.

"He's drumming," Zack said, looking up at Rian, "Well, I think he is..."

"Rian's a douchebag!" Jack announced as he sat down next to me, slamming his fist on the table.

Rian jumped as the table shook, pulling his headphones out, "Huh?"

"Why is Rian a douchebag?" I asked.

"Because he refuses to come over and jam with us! Here he is, drumming his heart out, but he won't come over to jam!" Jack complained, shoving a fry in his mouth angrily.

"Oh, no. Don't start that up again," Rian groaned. He shut of his iPod and looked up at us, explaining, "Ever since Jack realized I play the drums, he's been bugging me to come have a 'jam session' with you two."

"You should!" I said, picking up my sandwich. "Come on, just for fun! Zack could come too."

"Why Zack?" Jack asked, confused. I hadn't told him that Zack played the bass.

"I play guitar, too. Bass, mostly," Zack spoke up.

"Oh my gosh! You two so need to come over!" Jack exclaimed.

Rian sighed and looked over at Zack, "I'll come if you do."

"Sure," Zack shrugged.

"Awesome! Can you guys come over to my house after school today?" I asked. They all nodded, and I grinned, "Sweet. Be there by six."

••••••••••

By quarter to six that evening, I was bouncing with excitement. I couldn't wait to get down in the basement and see how we all sounded together. I had never heard Zack or Rian play their instruments; this would be the first time. I was jittery throughout dinner, and my mom finally excused me so I could go set up the basement. I had an old drum kit from middle school in there, which I had told Rian he could use. My electric guitar and amp were sitting neatly in the corner. Jack and Zack were going to bring over their own instruments when they came over. I heard footsteps and saw Jack come downstairs. He probably let himself into the house; he usually does.

"Hey Jack!" I greeted.

"Hey! The others aren't here yet?" Jack asked, setting his guitar case down.

"Nope, they should be here soon. Zack was going to wait for Rian so-" I began, but was cut off by the sound of the doorbell. Jack and I took one look at each other and ran upstairs to get the door. We both fought for the doorknob but I pushed Jack out of the way to get to it. I flung the door open and grinned, seeing Rian and Zack. "Hey!"

"Hey," Rian greeted, turning to wave at the person who had dropped him off.

"That your dad?" I asked, stepping back to let him in.

"Step-dad, actually," Rian said, walking inside with Zack behind him. Rian had a pair of drumsticks in his hand, and Zack had his guitar case and a small amp; I had told him to bring it, since I didn't have one for his bass. We wanted to be loud.

My mom walked in from the kitchen and smiled. "Hello boys. It's nice to see you again, Zack.” She turned to Rian, “You must be Rian; I've heard a lot about you.”

"Yeah, I'm Rian; nice to meet you," Rian said, flashing his perfect toothy smile at her.

"Hey! Am I invisible?" Jack asked with a pout.

"Oh, Jack, I see you every day. You're part of the family by now," my mom said.

"Woo! I'm in Alex’s family!" Jack cheered, picking me up over his shoulder and running toward the basement stairs.

"JACK! You're going to fucking kill us!" I screeched, pounding on his back.

"Don't hurt yourselves, boys. And watch your mouth, Alexander," my mom called, and I heard Rian and Zack snicker. Jack put me down and I scowled at him.

"C'mon down into the basement," I said to Zack and Rian. We all headed downstairs and I showed Rian the drum kit.

"Smaller than mine, but it'll do," Rian shrugged, sitting down behind them.

"I rarely use that thing. I got it when I was in like, seventh grade, and I suck at playing the drums," I admitted. "So, uh, sorry if it's got dust all over it."

Zack took his bass from its case and looked up at me, "Should I use my amp?"

I shrugged, "Sure, I'm going to use mine. I want to be loud. Jack, isn't your puny little amp in here somewhere? You left it here like two months ago."

"Right here!" Jack said, holding it up proudly.

"Good," I said, swinging my guitar strap over my shoulder.

"Let's rock!" Jack said, running back and forth as he strummed his guitar, which he had just plugged into the amplifier. It blared through the basement, scaring the shit out of the rest of us. Rian dropped his drumsticks and they rattled against the drums before hitting the floor.

"Jack. Jack! JACK!" I shouted, and Jack skidded to a stop. "Turn that damn thing down."

"Sorry."

I turned to Rian and Zack, "Do you guys know how to play any Blink-182 songs? That's one of the main bands Jack and I cover."

"Hell yeah, that's most of what I cover too. Throw any song at me; I can do it," Rian said confidently, tapping his drumsticks against the drums.

I looked at Zack, who was strumming his bass. "How about you? You said you cover Blink, right?" I asked.

"Yeah," Zack replied.

"Sweet. Jack, throw out a song title," I told him.

Jack thought for a minute, probably trying to think of a challenging song. "Roller Coaster by Blink-182," he decided.

"Alright," I shrugged, strumming the first chord. "Ready?!"

"LET'S PLAY!" Jack shouted, and we began the song. I sang the lyrics while playing the guitar; something I had just started doing in the last few months. When we were finished, we all cheered, including Zack. "That was AWESOME! Rian, man, you played the drums perfectly!" Jack said, jumping up and down in excitement.

"Thanks," Rian chuckled.

"And you play bass really good! You don't even use a pick!" Jack said, hugging Zack excitedly. Zack stiffened up at the sudden hug, looking frightened for a moment.

"Jack, calm down. We want Zack to play; we don't want to scare him off," I said with a laugh.

"Sorry! Let's play some more songs!" Jack insisted. The next two hours were spent goofing around and playing some more covers of Blink-182, New Found Glory, and some other bands. Finally, around eight, we were all tired out. I was sitting against the wall on the floor, with Jack on my left side and Zack on my right. Zack looked like he was getting a little too warm in his hoodie, but wouldn't take it off. Jack didn't know about Zack's little secret, and Zack didn't want him seeing the scars on his arms.

"I think we're good," I announced to the others.

"Definitely," Jack agreed, and Zack nodded in agreement.

"We've got potential," Zack said.

Rian shrugged, "We're okay."

"We should start a band!" Jack said, jumping to his feet. I raised an eyebrow.

"Dude, chill out. We've only played a few songs together," Rian said.

"So? You're probably the best damn drummer in the school; those songs just proved that. Don't you want to be in a band?" Jack asked.

"I don't know," Rian said with a shrug.

"How about you, Alex? Zack?" Jack asked, turning to us.

"I'd be cool with it, but I think we should play together again before we decide," I said.

"Yeah, we could play again tomorrow after school," Zack suggested.

Rian nodded, "Good idea. Do you guys want to practice here or at my house?"

"Let's do it here; Jack and I don't know where you live," I pointed out.

"Okay, we'll meet up here at six again tomorrow then?" Rian asked, pulling his phone out as he stood up.

"Yeah," I said with a nod.

"Cool. I have to go; my step-dad is here to pick me up. See you at school tomorrow," Rian said, waving and heading back upstairs.

"I should go too; my mom said she'd be here at eight and it's eight-fifteen. I'll just leave my stuff here. See you tomorrow!" Jack said, winking at me and running upstairs.

I rolled my eyes at Jack and stood up. He just wanted to leave me alone with Zack. I looked down at Zack, "You look way too warm; take that hoodie off."

"Are you concerned about my body temperature, or telling me to strip?" Zack joked, standing up and pulling his sweaty hoodie off.

I laughed, blushing slightly. "I was concerned about your body temperature, actually, smart ass."

Zack smiled. "Uh huh. Yeah, I was getting too hot, but I didn't feel like explaining these scars to Jack," he said. Zack had gotten comfortable enough that he didn't mind being in t-shirts around me, and I didn't stare at his scars. I knew that if the scars weren't mentioned or looked at, Zack wouldn't think of them; and that’s what I wanted.

"I can tell him about it, if you want me to. It would be easier," I suggested.

"Um, nah. I'll tell him eventually. Maybe tomorrow after we play," Zack said, putting his bass into the case.

"Okay. You can leave your bass and amp here, if you want. I mean, since you'll be back tomorrow," I said, shrugging.

"That's probably a good idea. It's pointless to take it back next door if I won't use it until I come back here tomorrow."

"Exactly," I smiled.

"Well, I should probably get home. My mom is probably wondering why I'm not home yet," Zack said with a sigh, scratching the back of his neck.

"Alright, well, I'll see you tomorrow morning," I said, and Zack headed upstairs to go home. I sighed and kicked an empty can across the floor. That went more awkwardly than I had hoped.