Save your heart.

*John*

3 days later, I hadn't received any call from Jessie. It was the first time in my life that I was restless to receive a call, that maybe, would never happen. Well, not the first. It was the second. The first was while I was in high school. Lucy, oh Lucy. I have great memories, but she was a whore and cheated on me any time she had the chance. I was so naive back then, and I was the last one that knew about her thing with David. It was good while it lasted, and surprisingly, I forgot about her quite quickly. I don't bear her any grudge.

Going back to Jessie...I thought about the plan I made the other day. I grabbed Chester's leash and got out of my house. I needed to know where Jessie lived, so I called Dakota. My other option was Garrett, but I don't know if I'd trust him giving me directions.

"Hello?" Dakota said on the phone.
"Uhm...yeah...Dakota?"
"John?" She said, surprised.
"Yes, could you please tell me where do you live? Street, number...?
"Sure, but for what?"
"Don't ask, please, I'll tell you later. "
"Okay. 13 of Waver's Avenue. It's the red house with the white door."
"Thanks D!"
"You're welcome. Bye!"

I thought I'd arrive in 10 minutes, but it took me almost 13. Almost. I knew that if Jessie was at home, she'd be alone, because Dakota worked from 11 until 5. All of the other houses around were gray. I walked to the door and knocked it. I heard a dog barking, it was Lucky. Jessie opened the door.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"I'm still feeling bad for what I did and...
"I told you I forgive you...I don't blame you." She shrugged her shoulders.
"I was wondering if you wanted to come to have a walk with me and Chester...and Lucky too."
"I assume he is Chester." She said pointing at the pug.
"Yeah...so...?"
"I have nothing to do, so..why not."
"I'll wait for you here."

I supposed she went to take a jacket, because she was wearing a short-sleeved T-Shirt and it was kind of windy. She came back with a mint colored cardigan. She was wearing flats of the same color, and a vintage Coca Cola T-Shirt. Her jeans had some holes. She was beautiful.

"I like pugs." She said.
"Thanks. Retrievers are good, too."
"Thanks." I was looking at her out of the corner of my eye. She was slightly smiling.
"Where are we going?" I asked.
"I think there's a dog park nearby...we could go there." She suggested.
"Lead the way." I smiled at her.

*Jess*

I think I got lost on my way to the park, because it took me longer than expected to arrive. John had come home and invited me to have a walk with the dogs because he was feeling bad. I told him a million of times that I forgave him, because he had no idea, but I don't know why, it seemed to me that he felt guilty. Aren't, apparently, boys much simpler than girls? It didn't bother me, but I think we spoke the same language, and understood me perfectly. But well, he wasn't a bad guy as he had been concerned. About me. A stranger.

"Finally." He said. "I thought we'd never make it."

We freed the dogs and we sat in a bench. John broke the silence.
"Do you have any sisters?"
"A brother. James. Why?"
"Have you ever talked?"
"About what?"
"About it, about your parents."

I couldn't believe he was bringing up the subject again. I remained silent, thinking. I felt like crying, but I tried to control myself. Maybe it was true that I had to talk about it with someone...the world hadn't stopped and life had gone on. Eight months had passed, and I had to get over it, for my own good.

"I'm sorry Jessie...I'm really sorry, but you need..."
"It's fine..." I said. The moment I said that the knot I had on my throat became into some pounds of tears that started running through my face. "...You-you're right...I-I have to get o-over it." I said sobbing. John, meanwhile, opened a tissue for me, and then gave it to me. I wiped out my tears, but kept crying. "My world smashed into thousands of pieces...I was way closer to my parents than James was..."
"I understand..." John said. I assumed he didn't know what to say, and tried to comfort me any way he could.
"I-I remember when I received the call..." I wiped away more tears and looked at John. "I spent almost a week crying."
John nodded and I continued talking. "I like to see photo-albums of the family...but I cry every time I even touch one." I wiped away a tear that was running through my left cheek. "I'm sorry for being this whiny." I forced a smile.
"It's okay." John half-smiled at me. He put one hand on top of mine, that was on the bench.

Chester and Lucky kept playing somewhere in the park, with other dogs.

"During the first month I couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel..."
"What about now?" He asked.
"It's far away..."
"You know? The light won't come closer, you have to dig your way out."
"I don't have a shovel." What I said produced a little laugh on John.
"Leaving the tunnel shit aside, you have people that love you surrounding you, and that's enough reason..."
"I know, but sometimes, I think I bother them..."
"No you don't! They just wanna see you happy!"
"You don't even imagine how much I want to be happy."

We remained silent for a couple of minutes, watching the dogs play.

"Wow." I said, and half-smiled. "This is the most sincere talk I've had in a long long time." I blowed my nose. "I think you're the first one I tell about my parents..." I looked at the floor and my vision became blurry again, due to the tears. Not because of this talk, I'd stop crying every time I thought of my parents.
"I'm happy for that." John smiled. "Do you want another tissue?" He offered.