Save your heart.

"Alone again." Said John, smiling.
"Yeah..."
Some minutes later, we started talking.

"I like the tattoo..." He said.
"Thanks." I smiled and drank a sip of my juice. "You have some, too."
"More than you've seen." He laughed.
"I don't really know how to interpret that..." John laughed again.
"I have one on my ribs, other on my pelvic zone and other one on my mouth."
"On your mouth?" I didn't even know mouth tattoos existed.
"Well, on my lips." He said. He pulled his lower lip down and showed me a tattoo were "LIVE" could be read.
"Did it hurt?"
"Not at all." He smiled and grabbed my hand. He then started looking at the tattoo. It was still wrapped up in plastic, and you couldn't see it perfectly, but he looked at it anyways. "I like it." He said.
"It's nothing special..."I said smiling, finishing my drink. "Well..." It was time to go home.
"Do you wanna go somewhere?"
"Home, I guess..."
"Do you wanna have lunch with me, instead?" He gave me a big smile.
"Hmm...okay, why not..." I had the feeling that he really didn't care to hang with me...and I liked it. I liked when he grabbed my hand to see the tattoo,. I liked his eyes, his tattoos, his eyes, his smile. I liked him. I texted Dakota saying I wouldn't be around for lunch.

When we got out of the car, John was walking ahead, as I didn't know which one was his car. He introduced the car key on a white car -I was waiting for him to open the car, so I could open the passenger's door-,.
"Hey." We heard a woman's voice. She was holding a baby. "Could you do me a favour? Could you please hold him while I put up the pram?"
"No problem." He smiled to the woman, while he took the baby.

The baby was very smiley and John was trying to make him laugh. It was the most beautiful thing I had seen in a while. Did this man have any flaws? I was smiling, when he suddenly looked at me, with a happy face. I smiled more. My lips detached. They weren't a curvy line anymore. It was the very first time I smiled -decently- in 8 months. As cheesy as it sounds, smiling like that again made me feel extremely happy, and I felt relieved.

The woman came back with pram, and thanked John.

"I've seen you." He said, sitting in the car.
"I know." I smiled again and fastened my seat belt.
"I'll have to adopt a baby if I wanna see you like that again." He joked.
"I would be by your side all day." I joked, too. Well, joke. I probably meant it.
I had no idea where we were going to have lunch, but I didn't mind at all. Not after what happened.

Minutes later, we arrived at the McDonald's "Drive Thru". We ordered our lunch and John kept driving.
"Where are we going to have lunch?" I asked. I assumed it was probably near, because the food wouldn't be warm long enough to go far.
"Here." He said, parking the car.

We got out of the car and I carried the bag. John took a towel out of the trunk. We walked to a lawn park and John opened out the towel. We sat down and started having lunch.

"This is really beautiful..." I said, taking a bite of my hamburger and eating some fries. It was very beautiful, yes. The sunbeams filtered through the branches of the trees. From where we were -a high point of the city-, you could see houses, people mowing the lawn or families going back home with shopping bags.
"Luckily, not a lot of people come here." He took a bite of his hamburger too, eating the half of it

I remembered I usually went with my parents on picnic. We always went to the same spot, somewhere in the mountain -well, not mountain, really, but a "natural" place-. I had happy memories.
"I have to make myself aware, that thinking about my parents isn't bad, but good. I have to be happy for the good moments, and I have good memories. There's not better gift than that." I said, unconsciously. 'Damn it! I wasn't supposed to say that out loud! Sometimes I can't fucking control myself!' I thought.
"That's right." Answered John, looking at me.

I finished eating the hamburger and noticed John was waiting for me to eat the ice cream together. I could easily get used to this kind of things. The more time I spent with him, the more I liked hanging out with him.

*John*

Seeing her smile like that destroyed a couple of organs of mine. Did I make her smile for the first time in eight months? Me? The more time I spent with Jessie, the more I liked hanging out with her. She was a good influence.

I'm not gonna lie, I loved being the first one she told about her parents personally, but I loved even more that after she told me what she told me, she started being happier, little by little.

"I have to make myself aware, that thinking about my parents isn't bad, but good. I have to be happy for the good moments, and I have good memories. There's not better gift than that." She said.
"That's right." I answered. She said things unexpectedly once in a while. Sometimes, you might think is thinking, but suddenly, she goes and says something like this. Buy it or leave it.
I didn't need much time to figure out that yes, she was thinking, and yes, she was usually observing. Does she have any fucking flaws?

"What do you usually do?" I asked, giving her one of the two McFlurrys.
"When?"
"On your day to day"
"Oh...mmm...I'm usually ready for 10 am. Sometimes I go visit my brother, and when not, I help at home. As I don't work, I go grocery shopping, I help Garrett...why do you ask?"
"I'm just interested, I guess."
"What about you?" She asked.
"I sleep 'til late when I have free mornings, and then...I hang out with my friends."
"They're surely missing you." She seemed to feel guilty.
"I'm sure they're perfectly fine without me." I laughed. Jessie smiled and looked at the grass. "Hey..."
"Yeah?" She answered, looking up at me.
"Do you wanna go out to have dinner tomorrow?" I said in a fit.
"I...I guess...Yes." It was the fucking first time she actually said 'yes' and not 'i have nothing else to do'. This was going full speed! Well, not really, but it was a step forward.
"Good." I said, satisfied. I smiled and looked Jessie in the eyes. Those eyes that were like a sea where I could get lost forever if it was up to me.

She had ice cream all over her mouth. "Do you really know how to eat?" I laughed.
"What?" She said.
"You have ice cream all over you face."
"Oh." She said, using a tissue to clean it up.
"Oooooooooooh." I said.
"WHAT?"
"The ice cream really suited you." I sank my index finger in my ice cream, and touched her nose.
"Hey! I only have this tissue!" She said showing the dirty tissue she used before. She then threw me some ice cream with her spoon.
"Hey! You only have that tissue!" I said joking.
"And under no circumstances I was gonna let you use it." She smiled again the way she did some hours before. What she just said didn't sound as convincing after that smile.
"Didn't you?" I laughed.
"No." She said, throwing ice cream at me once again. I did the same to her.

We ended up having ice cream even in our ears.

"You can use the towel." I told her. "Clean yourself a bit or my car will look like shit if you sit down like that." I laughed. She had ice cram all over her. Jeans, T-Shirt, hair, face, arms...And for her own good, she better cleaned it up quickly, or I'd clean her up, with my tongue. I was a mess, too. She gave me the towel back and I tried to clean my face and hair up. I took off my T-Shirt and we got in the car. She had told me she had been in a concert before, so I assumed she wouldn't feel uncomfortable with a shirtless guy around, as she had probably seen me shirtless before.

We arrived at her house around 4 pm. I parked the car and walked her to the door.
"I'll pick you up at 7, tomorrow night...is that okay?" I said.
"Yeah, it's okay."
"Well...see you tomorrow, then."
"Yeah."
"Bye." I said. Fuck. I couldn't stop saying goodbye.
"See you tomorrow." We smiled and I got back to the car.

*Jess*

I got home and Dakota was watching TV.

"Hey! You're finally here! I was worried about you!"
"What? I texted you!"
"Yes, but where have you been? You could be anywhere!" She freaked out.
"I left early in the morning with Garrett...and then I went to have lunch with John..." I smiled after saying his name.
"Wh-WHAT? WAS THAT A SMILE? IT WAS A SMILE!" And I smiled again. Dakota hugged me so hard that I fell and we ended up on the floor.
"I need air, Dakota."
"Jess, you can wake up at whatever hour you want from now on, you can go out with John whenever you want, and if you can't do the grocery shopping or the cleaning, I'll do it if it's necessary!" She said super fast.
"Wo, wo, wo, slow down, girl. I'll keep doing my chores, I still live in this house."
"It doesn't matter! If you can't do it, I'll do it."
"No" You work and I do nothing. I keep doing my thing, and you do yours. End of the story."

She was fucking mad! If I quit doing what I did everyday, and if she started doing those things, she'd die due to too much stress or something. Besides, I liked to clean.

I told her I'd be having dinner with John next day. Dakota seemed happy.
"Perfect! Do you have any dress?" She asked.
"I..I think I have one." She seemed disappointed when I said that.
"I wanted to go shopping, but it's okay." I smiled at what she said.

I had a shower, had dinner watching TV with Dakota, and after, went to sleep.

It had been so long since I last had dinner while watching TV and talking at the same time. Since that night, the house started to be "alive" again after 8 pm. I had wasted 8 months of my life being sad for something that had no solution. Things happen, and it's true that you can't forget them, but you neither have to stop living. And this was all thanks to John. I'd be eternally grateful. If I hadn't gone to The Maine's rehearsal, I wouldn't have met John. And if Dakota wasn't Garrett's girlfriend, I wouldn't have gone to The Maine's rehearsal. Maybe Garrett was right when he said I needed someone, that I needed love. I wonder if was thinking of John when he said that. I would never know.

I loved that John always called me "Jessie" and not "Jess" like everyone else. I like "Jess", but when someone calls me "Jessie", I feel like I matter to that person. The proof is, that everyone calls me "Jessie" when I'm sad. But with John I didn't have to be sad to be called "Jessie". John, John, John.