"You Can't Stay a Saint in This City"

“So you went to the Chanel store?” Brittany asks over a cup of green tea. Our fondness of green tea seems to be the only thing we have in common right now. That and our dating pools happen to overlap.

“Yup,”

“You know you could feed an entire village for a year from the price of that jacket.”

“Yeah,” you’re not the only one who gets those UNICEF brochures in the mail. “But I give tons of money to charity each year.” You know at those celebrity AIDS benefits hosted by Elton John and stuff.

“Well do you ever volunteer your time?” I don’t really have much time. You donate what you can; the poor donated time and the rich could just write a check, that’s how it works.

“Yes.” Well once I participated in a celebrity auction where I donated my services and forgoing the super long waiting list. I think it sold for like 300 thousand dollars. So in a way I guess I did donate my time. Just not directly by say serving turkey dinners to the homeless. Wait what am I talking about? I don’t need to defend myself I have no problems sleeping at night. I’m a good person.

“That’s great of you Amber.” Milan says walking into the kitchen. I mean if you could call it a kitchen, it was more like a powder room but I guess it suits them.

“I was going to ask you if you wanted to volunteer time today with me at the MSPCA.”

“I think that would be a great idea.” Milan’s playing the Maple Leafs today so once again he’s not going to be able to take me to get that chowder I’ve been thinking about since I got off my train.

And I was beginning to get the impression that she didn’t like me. “Really? Why?”

“I think it would be great publicity for the organization.” Of course.

“Yeah, just wait I’ll put on…” I look down at my white Fendi maxi dress “not this”
_______

I drive Amber to the MSPCA in my red BMW, it was a present from my parents for graduating university. A cherry red Birkin bag swings from her arm but otherwise she looks…normal. She’s wearing a magenta Junkfood t-shirt, a pair of dark blue Rock & Republics, and grey suade Louboutins.

“Hi, you must be Ambrosia Li” says Agatha, the chairwoman of the MSPCA.

“Hi, I’m so glad to be here. I just love animals.” The way she was looking at Mittens would say otherwise. I mean her name is Mittens, could she get any more harmless.

“So Brittany, I’m assuming you can show Ambrosia the ropes.”

“Sure” I say we walk past the floor to ceiling kennels filled with cats meowing away.

I flick on the lights in the grooming facility “So just fill the tub with warm water and lather them up before… ”

“Thanks Brittany but I already know how to wash dogs” Amber mutters to no one. Anyone who knew Amber knew this, I just assumed she took Dolce and Coco to some sort of dog washing place.

“So I guess you can get started. I’ll be cleaning the kennels.” I say clearing getting the short end of this bargain but if we wanted to use the great Amber Li for publicity we’d need her to look her best.
______

I’ve given my interviews and the photographers are still snapping away from the other side of the glass. “I’m not her and I will never be her.” I tell my last dog of the day, a tiny grey Pomeranian, the dog looks up at me with understandingly. “I don’t know. She’s just too perfect. I bet Mike would know what to say about this.”

“Okay, all done.” I say drying off the dog. “You can go back to you friends now.” I put the dog on the floor but she doesn’t move, she makes some whining noises and paws at my leg.

“Here,” I say picking her up off the floor and cradling her in my arms which only makes me miss Dolce and Coco even more.

“I see Givenchy has really taken a liking to you. That would make sense being that the original owner was inspired by you naming your dogs after your favorite designers.” Says Agatha taking a freshly cleaned Papillion back to its kennel. “Girls don’t realize the kind of responsibility it takes to take care of a dog. They just ask their boyfriends for one, give them a gimmicky name, and within a month they’re tired of cleaning up after them and drop them off here.”

“Well Givenchy is very cute” It feels like I’m holding a giant pompom in my arms.

“You know she is up for adoption.” Brittany says coming in to wash her hands.

“Why that’s a wonderful idea,” Agatha says looking at Brittany like she’s a saint. “Why don’t you adopt Givenchy?”

“Oh I’m not sure,” I adopted Dolce and Coco from the LA branch of the SPCA but I mean what if two dogs is all I can handle.

“You know there’s a chance she could be euthanized if she stays here right?” Oh my god this is just like the pound scene in Lady and the Tramp.

“Where are the papers, I’ll take her.” I say dropping Givenchy into my Birkin bag, for safe keeping of course.
______

“I just got a new dog,” I tell Mike as I make my way once again to the WAG’s suite.

“Really Ambrosia?”

“It’s a Pomeranian and so cute.” I say as I peek down at Givenchy in her Louis Vuitton dog carrier. I don’t think the Boston Bruins organization would like to clean up after her.

“At least get a real dog, like a Great Dane or a German Shepard.”

“I don’t think so Mike.” I say imagining myself being dragged down the street by my dogs “good luck in Phoenix.” I say as the national anthem starts to end.

“Cute dog,” says Kiley pressing her face right into Givenchy’s mesh window. “Who’s Mike?”

Instantly I feel twenty sets of eyes on me. As if I would ever cheat on Milan. “You know my…accountant” Mike and I have actually become friends…like really good friends.

“Why’s he in Phoenix?”

“He’s there for a convention…an accounting convention” I say cringing at how bad my attempt at a cover up was. I mean WTF an accounting convention?