Remembering the Ghost of You

June 11th, 1944

For four days I sat numbly in the hospital tent. Cries of agony filled the air around me as I started at the wall of the bunker. I didn’t move from my pallet except to pee. Frank and Bob came when they could. We were moving out soon.
For four days I couldn’t make sense of what had happened. I was in shock they said. I snapped out of it after four days though.
I spent today curled in a ball crying and sobbing until I threw up and had no more tears to cry. I felt better after though. I didn’t feel numb; I just felt depressed and miserable. I came to my senses though. There were still people I had to stay strong for. I’d have time to grieve more later. Right now I just wanted to stay busy so I didn’t think about it.
“Gerard!” Frank called with a hint of happiness. He looked more worn out then I remembered. Everyone did though.
“Hey,” I said and sat on the bench next to him. The rain had finally let up but the ground was soggy and everyone was caked in mud making me feel like I stuck out. Frank offered me a cigarette which I gladly took.
“How are you?” he asked quietly. We were among a group of men I didn’t recognize and who weren’t paying attention to us. I shrugged.
“I’ve been better.”
“Smith is dead. Bob said to let you know.”
“A lot of people are dead.”
“I’ve been holding on to Mikey’s personal things from his pack for you. They needed the supplies in it,” he said and pulled a cigar box out of his pack. I took the items with shaking hands. Two photographs, a small bag of peppermints, our father’s inscribed lighter, and a little tin soldier he had had for forever. One photograph was our whole family taken roughly five years ago and the second was a picture of us in our uniforms. I tucked the pictures away in my breast pocket. Looking at them made me feel numb again. “Gerard?” Frank asked quietly, placing a hand on my shoulder.
“I’ll be fine,” I said quietly swallowing the numbness that was filling me up inside. “Do you know what we are doing next?” he shrugged.
“Apparently the beaches are ours but we’ve still got to break through Normandy and we are going towards Paris,” he said and I nodded. Liberate the capitol.
“We do we move out?”
“A day or two … they want to see how many are going to survive the next twenty four hours and how many more troops get here,” Frank explained.
“I see,” I said and ran my fingers through my hair.
“I miss him too,” Frank said quietly and I sighed. I rubbed his shoulder.
“We will live for him,” I finally choked out. “That’s all we can do now.”