I Hate To Be The One To Bear The Bad News

After my shower I didn't feel as lazy, so I actually bothered with makeup. Simple black liner, mascara, and red lips. I looked sort of nice today. I smiled to myself while looking into the full length mirror that leaned against the wall of my bedroom.

Wait, I'm not supposed to smile yet. I can't be happy. I shouldn't be, in any way.

I slipped into a plain black t-shirt, denim jumper, and some knee high socks. It was extremely cold.. speaking of cold, I should probably put the bills in the mail before everything goes off.

~~~

My eyes popped out of my head seeing the electric and cable bill. Ronnie watched a lot of T.V when we were home. Luckily I didn't use heat or I would be in way over my head, I only have so much money left on my card.

How am I going to pay for everything without Ronnie. I work at a cafe, and that doesn't pay much at all. I cooked, he paid. Now its going to be me, cooking for myself. There's no way I would be cooking for someone else. There's no way I could find someone else to replace Ronnie. Just thinking about it makes me want to curl up in a ball and die. He's all alone, so why shouldn't I be too?

Being completely overwhelmed with millions of questions running through my head, I walked dazed through the living room and opened the front door of my two bedroom house.

"Jesus Christ Max! You scared the shit out of me!" Max stood there outside my door holding a bouquet of light pink flowers, shivering like a baby from the chilly air. I could smell them from here and they smelled.. lovely.

"Heh sorry, I was going to knock, but you obviously got here first"

He looked down and fiddled with the chain hanging from his belt. He didn't look as bad as I thought he would.

Leather jacket as always, white v-neck, skinny jeans, and some worn out converse. His hair was little damp so he's showered at least. The normal eyeliner that brought out his pretty green eyes.

"Oh, uh. I brought you these, I don't know exactly why but it felt right at the time.."

He started to shiver even more as the breath taking wind blew past his body and into my already chilly house. December was a bitch.

"Thank you, really. Come in you look freezing. I'll crank up the heat"

Smiling, I took the flowers from him, slipped the bills in the mailbox outside my door, and walked back through the living room to turn the heat on.

I hope he isn't has hungry as I am, I have no food whatsoever.

--
Max's POV;

She looked fucking gorgeous. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a messy style, she was in a cute jumper with knee socks. She smelt like perfection. Unlike me, who looked like absolute shit.

"Welcomeeee. soo." I shifted around awkwardly trying to decide if I should sit on the cream white couch, or the blue leather chair. I always like the chair.

I was still shaking even though she turned the heat on already. When was the last time I used....with Ronnie. The night before he got arrested.

"Want something to drink? I don't have much. I have some tea, hot of course. If you want that. I haven't gone shopping in a while. Haven't eaten much, either."

She walked over to the kitchen reaching up as far as she could to grab a mug, her eyes drifted towards the photo of her and Ronnie on the fridge. She's heart broken. And its my fault. I shouldn't be here.

"I- I shouldn't be here. I'm so sorry." I practically jumped up to start walking towards the door and bolt it until I heard her voice call my name

"Max, wait, don't go" then I felt her hand grab mine

Shit.

"What are these Max.. why do you have cuts on your arms.."

She looked at my wrist horrified. When she grabbed my hand, my sleeve pulled up just enough for her to see the starting of my damaged skin.

"N-Nothing really its nothing. I need to leave"

Next thing you know she's going to see my hands shaking like crazy and know I'm still using. She's not going to let this go. I know Delia enough to know she doesn't just let things like this go. Especially since Ronnie told her about my cutting problem before.

I shut my eyes hoping this was just a dream, I felt her pulling my sleeve up so it reached my elbow. I'm so sorry.

"Max. Oh God Max " She looked like she had just seen a full blown car accident happen right in front of her eyes. I felt her stroking her thumb on some of the cuts.

"Please don't make this a big deal, please Delia."

All I could do was stare at my arm. I deserved those cuts. All I could do was stare at her, and her eyes. Which had tears falling from them. She didn't deserve though tears. I deserved them.

"I'm s-so sorry"