I Don't Think I'd Be Standing Here If I Never Found You
It’ll Be Funky
The next morning I woke up feeling kind of bummed. I took a long hot shower last night and then I went straight to bed, feeling like a failure. My life is going nowhere and everyone around me is incredibly successful… except me.
I rolled over and saw my phone sitting on my nightstand, flashing to let me know I had a text. I looked and saw that Ky texted me and asked if I wanted to come over. I replied and said I’d be over in a little bit. Once I had breakfast and got dressed, I headed over to Kylee and Tanner’s house to do…whatever they wanted to do.
“Feel free to let yourself in,” Tanner chuckled once I walked inside.
“Thanks I did,” I smiled while giving him a hug. “Where’s Ky?”
“I’m here,” Her voice said while coming around the corner holding Addy’s hand.
”KIRSTIE!” Addy shouted.
”ADDY!” I squealed as she ran over and I scooped her up and hugged her.
“Your hair makes me happy,” She giggled while she fluffed up my hair with her little hands. “Can you do my hair?”
“Sure,” I told her with a smile.
“Can you come pick out my clothes with me too? I like your clothes, they’re fun and pretty,” Addy went on.
“Of course,” I replied. “Hey Ky, want me to help you pick out your outfit?” I teased, fully knowing that my sister and I have completely opposite fashion styles.
“No,” She laughed. “If you did, you pick me out something crazy and funky.”
We just laughed before I took Addy upstairs and helped her pick out some clothes and I braided her hair and put some feathers in it. As I was doing it, it made me think about what Ky said about how I’d pick out something crazy and funky. I do have my own style but do I really just look weird? I mean, I don’t want to be known as the weird girl or whatever. But then again, I’m not sure what I want people to know me as. I think I’m going through a quarter life crisis.
“I look like you,” Addy giggled.
“Well I don’t know if you want to look like me,” I joked but inside I knew it was the truth.
“I do,” She smiled.
Addy and I held hands and headed back downstairs and once her little eyes landed on Kylee and Tanner, she lit up.
”KIRSTIE! I’M GONNA BE A BIG SISTER!” She shouted all the sudden.
“You told her?” I grinned while looking over at my sis and she nodded her head. “Are you excited Addy?”
“Yeah!”
“You’re going to be a great big sister,” I told her while kneeling so I could be eye level. “Big sisters are a special thing, I know from experience since I have Ky as my big sister. Your little brother or sister is going to look up to Addy and they’ll probably bug you all the time but it’s just because they want your attention. They’ll always come to you for help and you’ll be who they turn to. Big sisters are the best thing and I know you’ll be a great one.”
She just smiled before hugging me tightly. I know Addy will be a great big sister but… I already have the best big sister in the world. I’ve always looked up to Kylee, my entire life and I’ve tried to be like her and now, twenty two years later I still am but I can’t be Kylee. I’m not successful, even keel, beautiful or calm like she is and I wish I could but I’m not. She is confident in who she is and I’m still not even sure exactly who I am or who I need to be.
I rolled over and saw my phone sitting on my nightstand, flashing to let me know I had a text. I looked and saw that Ky texted me and asked if I wanted to come over. I replied and said I’d be over in a little bit. Once I had breakfast and got dressed, I headed over to Kylee and Tanner’s house to do…whatever they wanted to do.
“Feel free to let yourself in,” Tanner chuckled once I walked inside.
“Thanks I did,” I smiled while giving him a hug. “Where’s Ky?”
“I’m here,” Her voice said while coming around the corner holding Addy’s hand.
”KIRSTIE!” Addy shouted.
”ADDY!” I squealed as she ran over and I scooped her up and hugged her.
“Your hair makes me happy,” She giggled while she fluffed up my hair with her little hands. “Can you do my hair?”
“Sure,” I told her with a smile.
“Can you come pick out my clothes with me too? I like your clothes, they’re fun and pretty,” Addy went on.
“Of course,” I replied. “Hey Ky, want me to help you pick out your outfit?” I teased, fully knowing that my sister and I have completely opposite fashion styles.
“No,” She laughed. “If you did, you pick me out something crazy and funky.”
We just laughed before I took Addy upstairs and helped her pick out some clothes and I braided her hair and put some feathers in it. As I was doing it, it made me think about what Ky said about how I’d pick out something crazy and funky. I do have my own style but do I really just look weird? I mean, I don’t want to be known as the weird girl or whatever. But then again, I’m not sure what I want people to know me as. I think I’m going through a quarter life crisis.
“I look like you,” Addy giggled.
“Well I don’t know if you want to look like me,” I joked but inside I knew it was the truth.
“I do,” She smiled.
Addy and I held hands and headed back downstairs and once her little eyes landed on Kylee and Tanner, she lit up.
”KIRSTIE! I’M GONNA BE A BIG SISTER!” She shouted all the sudden.
“You told her?” I grinned while looking over at my sis and she nodded her head. “Are you excited Addy?”
“Yeah!”
“You’re going to be a great big sister,” I told her while kneeling so I could be eye level. “Big sisters are a special thing, I know from experience since I have Ky as my big sister. Your little brother or sister is going to look up to Addy and they’ll probably bug you all the time but it’s just because they want your attention. They’ll always come to you for help and you’ll be who they turn to. Big sisters are the best thing and I know you’ll be a great one.”
She just smiled before hugging me tightly. I know Addy will be a great big sister but… I already have the best big sister in the world. I’ve always looked up to Kylee, my entire life and I’ve tried to be like her and now, twenty two years later I still am but I can’t be Kylee. I’m not successful, even keel, beautiful or calm like she is and I wish I could but I’m not. She is confident in who she is and I’m still not even sure exactly who I am or who I need to be.