What You Want, What You Need

“Motherfucker! Give it back! I said you could only have a sip!” Josh yelled from the other side of the couch. I held the Coke Zero bottle up to my lips and took a quick sip of the bubbly, calorie-less beverage.
“There, I took a sip.”
“Good. Now give it back” He reached his hands out as if I was about to just hand the bottle over. I love fucking with him and he knows it, so I don’t know why he thinks I’m gonna give it to him.
“But...” I lowered the bottle down and held it by the mouth. “Just one sip isn’t satisfying. I mean, it is Coke Zero. Maybe I’ll have another one...” I took a sip. “And another one...” Took a sip. “And another...”
“Lexi.” Josh said with a warning tone, but not being serious at all. I could tell from the half smirk on his face. He grip on the arm of the couch became lighter like he was about to walk around to where I was and he began to speak slower. “We’re gonna do this either the easy way or the hard way. Now...are you gonna give me my bottle back?”
There was a long silence between us before I raised the bottle again and took another sip. This time I took a longer one, just to piss him off even more.
“Thats it! Guess we’re doing this the hard way.” Josh began to walk towards my side of the couch, but I giggled and ran around the couch for a bit before running around the rest of the apartment. Josh chased me through the kitchen, the hallway, the balcony and back to the living room, trying to retrieve his favourite drink from my hands. I was about to run back to the kitchen, but I tripped over Tux and fell back first on the couch.
“Damn it, Tux!” I yelled a cat. Wow...
Josh climbed on top of me and took the bottle out of my hands. “Thank you.” He leaned in a little closer and gave me a friendly little peck on the cheek. I mentally sighed. Josh and his ways...
“Whatever!” I playfully pushed him off of me and he started chuckling a bit. “I would’ve gotten away with this too if it weren’t for for your... random cat.”
Josh rolled his eyes and kneeled down to pet his tiny black and white kitty. “She isn’t random.She’s just very, very helpful.”
“Yeah, she’s helpful. Helpful at keeping a douchebag company.” I mumbled it loud enough for him to hear.
He shot back up and placed his hands on my lap. His gorgeous light blue eyes stared into my brown ones while he smiled that amazing breathe taking smile of his. “Is that anyway to talk about your best friend on his birthday?”
I rolled my eyes at my tall, gangly best friend. “Just because it’s your birthday doesn’t mean I’m going to treat you differently.”
“Coming from the girl that offered to take me bowling.”I smiled wide at his gorgeous yet pale face.
I stood up and held onto Josh‘s shoulders. “Well I’ve gotta do at least one nice thing for you today. Besides, I’m gonna love beating your ass tonight.”My warm, friendly smile slowly transformed into one that pretty much screamed “You’re going down”.
“Pssh! Please, I’ve got mad ninja bowling skills.” What Josh likes to believe.
“Sure...you keep on thinking that.” Josh just chuckled a little, which gave me butterflies. His laugh is so adorable. I’ve heard it a million times, but I love it even more the more I hear it.
I heard Josh’s Blackberry Torch vibrate in his pocket (yeah, I felt it. Torch vibrating is intense.) and I backed away from him a bit so he could pull it out of his pocket.He took a quick glance at the screen before shoving back into his pocket. “K, we’re outta here. Matt and the guys are outside.”
We headed out the door, took the elevator down to the first floor and walked outside into the warm June night. We saw Matt’s silver SUV infront of the building and slid into the middle seats. We were greeted with a bunch of “Hey’s” and Josh with some “Happy birthday’s” by Mike, Matt, Ian, Brett, Matt’s girlfriend Jessica and Andrew. When I looked around the car too see everyone, I noticed Amanda wasn’t in here. “Um, where’s Amanda?” I asked, not really caring.
“She’s in Costa Rica for a family vacation. Josh answered. “She won’t be back for another week.”
I was actually pretty glad that Amanda wasn’t here because things would be a little awkward. Ever since her and Josh have been together she hasn’t liked me at all. I think it’s ‘cause she’s jealous of me, when really there’s no need to be. Josh and I have been best friends since pre school and (unfortunately) that’s all we’ll ever be. And I think I’m jealous of her. What am I talking about? I know that I’m jealous of her. She’s with the guy I’ve been in love with for years. I guess I’m just gonna have to live with the fact that he loves Amanda and me and him are better off as friends.
After a 20 minute car ride full of hilarious conversations and a friendly argument between Ian and Brett about soft pretzels, we arrived at the bowling alley. As soon as we paid and got our bowling shoes we walked down two our 2 assigned lanes; 44 and 45.
“Okay so how are we splitting the teams up?” Brett asked while tieing his laces. “Since your the birthday boy, Josh, do you wanna start?”
Josh just shrugged and sat down next to Brett. “I guess.” There was a short silence before Josh finally chose. “Okay; me, Lexi, Mike and Brett on 44 and Matt, Ian, Jessica and Andrew on 45.” I knew he’d put me on the same side as him, but I still couldn’t help but smile a little and feel all tingly inside.
After about 20 minutes, I was in the lead on my side with 56 points. I started laughing when I noticed that Josh only had 37.
“What the fuck’s so funny?” Josh asked with his hilarious high pitched tone.
“Look at the scoreboard and you’ll know! ‘Ninja bowling skills’ my ass!” I began to laugh even harder.
“Listen, this game has just begun, so I have plenty of time to catch up and get ahead. By the end of the night, your ass shall be beat.”
“We’ll see, Ramsay.We’ll see.” After Josh rolled his bowling ball down the isle (And it ended up in the gutter) I heard a familiar voice call Josh’s name, but it was called as if the person was unsure that it was Josh. We both turned around to see a brown eyed brunette and it took me a few seconds to realize it was Ashley Splinter, a girl me, Matt and Josh used to go to school with. I remember Josh having a huge crush on her in grade 10 but his feelings faded when she started going out with his buddy Chris.
“Oh my Gosh, it is you! And Lexi and Matt? Holy crap!” Ashley raced over to us and immediately hugged Josh, and from what I could tell it was pretty tight. After letting go she hugged Matt and then hugged me. I was so shocked that it was actually her, though. She looked so...different. But then again, all of us looked different years after high school. We grew up.
“Hey, you forgot about me.” Andrew said while walking towards Ashley with open, inviting arms.
“Holy shit! You’re here too?” Ashley’s smile grew wider as she gave Andrew a tight squeeze. “What are you all doing here?”
“It’s my birthday today.” Josh took off his black Gucci jacket on the back of the rotating chair beside him. It was the jacket I was gonna buy him for his birthday. But then again, it’s Gucci. I should’ve known he already bought it himself.
“Really? Well then, happy birthday!” Ashley giggled then quickly hugged him again. “A group of my friends are just a few isles down and I’m gonna get some drinks so I’ll be back in a few, ‘k?” Josh gave a tiny little nod before Ashley walked off toward the snack bar.
“Oooh, who was that?” Brett asked, obviously sounding interested in our old friend.
“Calm your dick, Brett. That was Ashley. Me, Josh, Matt and Andrew used to go to school together.” I noticed Brett’s eyebrow raise as if he had a tiny idea of who she was.
“That’s the Ashley Josh had a crush on? Matt told me about her one day.He also told me how she was a werewolf/ninja/jedi for halloween once.I wanna be that.... Okay, now I’ve got a halloween costume planned 4 months early. ”Brett did a little celebratory dance on the spot and I just smiled and sighed. Sometimes I wonder about Brett.
About half an hour later, I was still beating Josh’s ass by about 15 points (man was I enjoying it.) As Josh was about to take his turn Ashley came back to talk again for a few minutes.
“Hey guys, how’s the game going so far? Josh still losing?” Her and I giggled at the question since the answer was obvious. Josh heard us and dramatically turned around to face us.
“Shut up! I’m still warming up.” he laughed.
I crossed my arms in front of my chest and raised an eyebrow. “For almost an hour?”
“I’m slow. Fuck off.” We both giggled while he walked back to “warm up” (fail) some more.
“So while you’re waiting for your next turn, why don’t we talk? Y’know, like, catch up a bit?” Ashley invited me over to a higher table a little further back from my lane and we had a seat. “So how have you and Josh been? Well actually, how have you been? Since I already know Josh is living the rockstar life, I wanna know what’s going on with you.”
“Nothing much really.Went to school, have a job as a vocal teacher on Saturdays and... yeah, I guess that’s it.” I wasn’t kidding when I said nothing much.
“Vocal teacher? That’s pretty cool.” There was a short silence before Ashley began to speak again. “So...is Josh...seeing anyone?”
And she wants to know this because...? “Yeah, he is actually. Her name’s Amanda. Why?”
“I don’t know, it just seems like Josh has... matured. And in more ways than one.” Ashley turned her attention towards Josh who was picking up his bowling ball. She bit her lower lip and I began to feel uncomfortable. Is she interested in him?
“So let me guess. You want Josh all to yourself?”See what I did there?
Ashley giggled at my little Trench joke. “Well...maybe a bit. You know, if he didn’t have that Amanda chick, I would’ve so made a move. But whatever, it is how it is.” Now I’m kind of glad about Amanda dating Josh. I mean, I’m uncomfortable mentioning Josh and Amanda but not as uncomfortable as this just made me.
When we were finished at the bowling alley, Josh, Matt, Andrew and for some reason Brett I exchanged numbers with Ashley, said good bye and headed back to the SUV. And yes, I ended up beating Josh.
I sat beside Josh in the back of the SUV and while Matt was driving us back to our place the ride back was once again filled with with hilarious yet kind of messed up conversations. When Matt did drop us off, we said later to everyone and headed inside and made our way to the elevator.
After pushing the button I leaned against the wall beside the elevator and smiled up at Josh, but not too far up.I’m only 5'11. “Had a good time tonight?”
“Aside form you beating me at bowling, I had a great time. Thanks.” He gave me his best smile and hugged me tightly. I didn’t want to let go, but as soon as the elevator gets to, I know I”ll have to
“You’re welcome. And happy birthday.” I replied, my voice muffled in his shoulder. Without thinking, I held on tighter. I guess it was just my feelings for him taking over my body for a few seconds.
As soon as the elevator came me and Josh-unfortunately- had to let go, walked in and pressed our floor numbers. We talked a bit about the tonight before it finally reached my floor.
“Well, guess I’ll see you later.” I secured my bag over my shoulders, getting ready to go. But before I did, I gave Josh a quick little kiss on the cheek. “Bye, birthday boy.”
Josh pulled me in a little closer and gave me a kiss on the cheek as well. “Later. And thanks again.” I smiled at him and finally headed out of the elevator and down the hallways towards my apartment. After entering, I kicked my shoes off, flopped down on my couch and stared at the ceiling fan. Thinking.
Why do I have to love him? We’re the closest and the greatest of friends and that’s all I ever wanted to feel about him.Since I’ve known him for pretty much all my life, it was bound to happen. But he has Amanda, and he loves her to death. There’s an upside and downside to this situation that I’m in. Upside: the one I love is happy. Downside: I’m not.