Early Sunsets Over Monroeville
***.
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It was the only think going through my head at the time, my heart swelling and aching; breathing in and out so deeply to keep me from breaking down at this horrible time. I couldn’t breathe right, at all. It was ragged, and fucked up, just like how I felt. I wanted to jump off the nearest and highest goddamn cliff and end my silly, pathetic life. God, he made me feel so stupid.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Brian?! I didn’t try hard enough? What do you think I’ve been fucking doing these passed few months?” I spat at him, arms flailing in all directions as we basically screamed at each other through the hallways.
“Yeah, you haven’t been. I’ve been fucking doing all the work while you stay fucking quiet and avoid me for your fucking friends.” He retorted, daring to take another step closer to me. “You fucking replaced me.”
“Yeah, okay, whatever the fuck you say Brian. Fuck you!”
“I fucking hate you. God, you’ve changed so fucking much.”
“No, you’re just saying that because even after a year, I won’t fuck you. Haha, you’re pathetic.”
Students in the hall kept passing us by, giving a small glance, or none at all. This was a fucking daily thing for him and I, yelling and screaming in each others faces. I was sick of the yelling; sick of him. I needed out. I couldn’t do this anymore.
“Don’t fucking bring it up, Ari.. I swear to god…”
“Oh, why not? Let’s have everyone fucking know you’d rather get your dick wet with some random bitch other than fucking wait. Fuck, I hate you..”
“She didn’t fucking mean anything to me, Ari..”
“That’s a bullshit lie. Fucking cunt.. You make me want to hit you so fucking hard..”
“Then fucking hit me, if you do so fucking wish, Ari.”
And I did. Without even a second thought, at all. I reeled my fist back, slamming the thing so hard into his face, not just once, or twice, but three times. It took all the effort in the world to stop myself. If I wanted to, I’d keep going, making sure he endured every bit of fucking pain he’d put me through that passed year, or so.
“Fuck you, asshole.. We’re over.” I screamed at him, turning on my heel without looking at him and storming down the hall, as quickly as I could. Beyond my control, the tears starting to run down my face, the pain welting up even tighter in my chest.
I was lost in my mind for as long as I could possibly be. This is why I hated school, locked in a fucking prison for hours long, and never having an escape except the five minutes between classes, and a forty-five minute lunch hour. Which wasn’t even an hour, at all. Fuckers. No one stopped me, but everyone looked at me. What were friends even fucking for, anyway? I had none. None that weren’t directly close to him, anyway. The only friends I had were his.
I stopped in the middle of the hall, a breath escaping before I leant against a locker. It just wouldn’t stop hurting, at all. That was always the fucking thing that had me crawling back to him like a little bitch. The pain, the heartache. It’s what I hated most about me, the weakness for him. I couldn’t help it. Brian was the only thing, only person I knew who could get me like this.
When I felt a tap on my shoulder, it nearly made me jump out of my skin. I hadn’t even noticed anyone around me, at all, not even passers by..
“Uh… you’re in front of my locker…” the male said, and even if he was smaller in size, with female-ish features, he had this deep voice, and maybe if I wasn’t in my stupor, I’d notice how alluring that was…
“S-sorry..” I whispered, moving away and taking off in the opposite direction, not even trying to focus on the male, at all. Vision being too blurred..
As I took off down the hall, trying my best to pull the best pokerface I could, the bell rang… and I had to go through another day of hell.. Alone.
Fuck.
It was the only think going through my head at the time, my heart swelling and aching; breathing in and out so deeply to keep me from breaking down at this horrible time. I couldn’t breathe right, at all. It was ragged, and fucked up, just like how I felt. I wanted to jump off the nearest and highest goddamn cliff and end my silly, pathetic life. God, he made me feel so stupid.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Brian?! I didn’t try hard enough? What do you think I’ve been fucking doing these passed few months?” I spat at him, arms flailing in all directions as we basically screamed at each other through the hallways.
“Yeah, you haven’t been. I’ve been fucking doing all the work while you stay fucking quiet and avoid me for your fucking friends.” He retorted, daring to take another step closer to me. “You fucking replaced me.”
“Yeah, okay, whatever the fuck you say Brian. Fuck you!”
“I fucking hate you. God, you’ve changed so fucking much.”
“No, you’re just saying that because even after a year, I won’t fuck you. Haha, you’re pathetic.”
Students in the hall kept passing us by, giving a small glance, or none at all. This was a fucking daily thing for him and I, yelling and screaming in each others faces. I was sick of the yelling; sick of him. I needed out. I couldn’t do this anymore.
“Don’t fucking bring it up, Ari.. I swear to god…”
“Oh, why not? Let’s have everyone fucking know you’d rather get your dick wet with some random bitch other than fucking wait. Fuck, I hate you..”
“She didn’t fucking mean anything to me, Ari..”
“That’s a bullshit lie. Fucking cunt.. You make me want to hit you so fucking hard..”
“Then fucking hit me, if you do so fucking wish, Ari.”
And I did. Without even a second thought, at all. I reeled my fist back, slamming the thing so hard into his face, not just once, or twice, but three times. It took all the effort in the world to stop myself. If I wanted to, I’d keep going, making sure he endured every bit of fucking pain he’d put me through that passed year, or so.
“Fuck you, asshole.. We’re over.” I screamed at him, turning on my heel without looking at him and storming down the hall, as quickly as I could. Beyond my control, the tears starting to run down my face, the pain welting up even tighter in my chest.
I was lost in my mind for as long as I could possibly be. This is why I hated school, locked in a fucking prison for hours long, and never having an escape except the five minutes between classes, and a forty-five minute lunch hour. Which wasn’t even an hour, at all. Fuckers. No one stopped me, but everyone looked at me. What were friends even fucking for, anyway? I had none. None that weren’t directly close to him, anyway. The only friends I had were his.
I stopped in the middle of the hall, a breath escaping before I leant against a locker. It just wouldn’t stop hurting, at all. That was always the fucking thing that had me crawling back to him like a little bitch. The pain, the heartache. It’s what I hated most about me, the weakness for him. I couldn’t help it. Brian was the only thing, only person I knew who could get me like this.
When I felt a tap on my shoulder, it nearly made me jump out of my skin. I hadn’t even noticed anyone around me, at all, not even passers by..
“Uh… you’re in front of my locker…” the male said, and even if he was smaller in size, with female-ish features, he had this deep voice, and maybe if I wasn’t in my stupor, I’d notice how alluring that was…
“S-sorry..” I whispered, moving away and taking off in the opposite direction, not even trying to focus on the male, at all. Vision being too blurred..
As I took off down the hall, trying my best to pull the best pokerface I could, the bell rang… and I had to go through another day of hell.. Alone.
Fuck.
♠ ♠ ♠
New start. What do you think? :D <3