Affinity

My eyes fluttered open to him standing on the foot of the bed putting his pants back on. He walked towards me sitting next to me. He slowly traced his fingers along my jawbone and across my lips placing a soft kiss. He inhaled and looked at me quizzically coking his head.

"I've always wanted to do that." He said kissing me once more.

I looked up into his eyes fully aware what happened was a mistake.

"I wouldn't mind doing it again." He ran his hand across my bare shoulder making me shiver.

"I don't kno-"

He cut me off and spoke. "Stella, John doesn't have to know."

"I don't know if it would be a good idea."

"You need someone who cares about you, and I do."

"Kennedy, I-" I averted his gaze not wanting to hurt his feeling.

"Please."

"John can't know." I raised my handing warning.

"He won't." He pressed against me kissing me hard.

I nodded my head in agreement, maybe I needed to forget John for awhile. I walked out of Kennedy's room and into the living room seating my self in between Jared and Garrett. Kennedy appeared ten minutes later as well as John and Pat. They began discussing the album and I found myself staring at John. His perfect profile, the way his eyes would light up about a song. I shook the though from my heads focusing on my phone. I mindlessly scrolled through twitter, instagram and Facebook. The meeting was adjourned and everyone went into their separate rooms except Kennedy and I. He sat next to me placing his hand on my thigh, rubbing slow circles.

"Kennedy!" I whisper shouted as I removed his hand. "Someone might see us."

"Let's move some where more private."

We quickly walked towards his room and the door closed and I was pushed against it. His hands traveling fast as he removed my clothing. Our breathing became louder and heavier and as we fell down onto the bed I realized; sex was awesome.

~~

I woke up in my room staring at the white ceiling that stared back at me. I inhaled sharply as there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." I said groggily as I rubbed my eyes.

John walked in and sat at the foot of my bed.

"What."

"Stella. I just want to fix us."

"It's too late."

"Give me a chance."

"You should of never walked out on me."

"Can you cut the shit."

"Excuse me."

"Stella just fucking drop it, that's not important."

"It's really fucking important!"

"You made me feel like a worthless piece of shit!"

He sighed and placed his hand on the bridge of his nose.

"If this is how it's going to be. I might as well leave. I didn't come here for you, John."

I felt my heart rip in half, I still cared. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him.

"Stella, I-I."

I didn't say anything as he stood up and walked away, closing the door loudly.

Why did it have to be so hard. Why did I have to care. Apart of me wanted to get up and kiss him. Another part of me wanted to go punch him in the face. My emotions were all over the place. There was some sort of unspoken affinity for that boy.