You Get What You Deserve

Parvati walked forward, her face set. Snape rounded on her. There was another crack, and where he had stood was a blood-stained, bandaged mummy; its sightless face was turned to Parvati and it began to walk towards her, very slowly, dragging its feet, its stiff arms rising –

“Riddikulus!” cried Parvati.

A bandage unravelled at the mummy’s feet; it became entangled, fell face forwards and its head rolled off.

“Seamus!” roared Lupin.

Seamus darted past Parvati. Crack! Where the mummy had been was a woman with floor-length black hair and a skeletal, green-tinged face – a banshee. She opened her mouth wide, and an unearthly sound filled the room, a long, wailing shriek which made the hair on my neck stand on end –

“Riddikulus!” shouted Seamus.

The banshee made a rasping noise and clutched her throat; her voice was gone.
Crack! The banshee turned into a rat, which chased its tail in a circle, then – crack! – became a rattlesnake, which slithered and writhed before –crack! – becoming a single, bloody eyeball.

“It’s confused!” shouted Lupin. “We’re getting there! Dean!”

Dean hurried forward.

Crack! The eyeball became a severed hand, which flipped over, and began to creep along the floor like a crab.

“Riddikulus!” yelled Dean.

There was a snap, and the hand was trapped in a mousetrap.

“Excellent! Ron, you next!”

Ron leapt forward.

Crack! Quite a few people screamed. A giant spider, six feet tall and covered in hair, was advancing on Ron, clicking its pincers menacingly. For a moment, I thought Ron had frozen. Then –

“Riddikulus!” bellowed Ron, and the spider’s legs vanished. It rolled over and over; Lavender Brown squealed and ran out of its way and it came to a halt at Harry’s feet. He raised his wand, ready, but –

“Here!” shouted Lupin suddenly, hurrying forward.

Crack! The legless spider had vanished. For a second, everyone looked wildly around to see where it was. Then we saw a silvery white orb hanging in the air in front of Lupin, who said “Riddikulus!” almost lazily.

Crack!

“Forward, Neville, and finish him off!” said Lupin, as the Boggart landed on the floor as a cockroach. Crack! Snape was back. This time Neville charged forward looking determined.
“Riddikulus!” he shouted, and we had a split second’s view of Snape in his lacy dress before Neville let out a great “Ha!” of laughter, and the Boggart exploded, burst into a thousand tiny wisps of smoke, and was gone.

“Excellent!” cried Lupin, as the class broke into applause. “Excellent, Neville. Well done, everyone. Let me see... five points to Gryffindor for every person who tackled the Boggart – ten for Neville because he did it twice – and five each to Hermione and Corey.”

“But I didn’t do anything,” I said.

“You and Hermione answered my questions correctly at the start of the class, Corey,” Lupin said lightly. “Very well, everyone, an excellent lesson. Homework, kindly read the chapter on Boggarts and summarise it for me... to be handed in on Monday. That will be all.”

Talking excitedly, the class left the staff room.

“Did you see me take that banshee?” shouted Seamus.

“And the hand!” said Dean, waving his own around.

“And Snape in that hat!”

“And my mummy!”

“I wonder why Professor Lupin’s frightened of crystal balls?” said Lavender thoughtfully.

“That was the best Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson we’ve ever had, wasn’t it?” Ron said excitedly, as we made our way back to the classroom to get our bags.

“He seems a very good teacher,” said Hermione approvingly. “But I wish I could have had a turn with the Boggart –“

“What would it have been for you?” I said, sniggering. “A piece of homework that only got nine out of ten?”