Everywhere Everything

“I don’t know how many more letters you have or how many more houses you have to visit,” Brayden said, pulling me closer to his body and wrapping his arms securely around me, “but I don’t think you should pay for a hotel you’re not even staying in anymore.”

I chuckled and nodded. We were lying in the bed in the tree house, where we had been talking for hours. After dropping the cupcakes off and watching Pat get beat up by his wife when he dropped a container of the sweet treats, we headed back here to have some alone time. Since we were officially… whatever we were… Brayden hadn’t let go of me, and I couldn’t say that I minded. It was new for me. I had never had time to let myself get emotionally attached to anything or anyone other than my family. I thought it would be more awkward for me, to be honest. No, I hadn’t ever kissed a boy, but Brayden didn’t seem to mind because I had lost count of the number of times he had kissed me in the past few hours. He had this way about him that put me at ease.

“I think mom would be okay letting you stay in here, if you wanted.”

“Who even built this thing?” I asked, looking around. I mean it had power, for Christ’s sake.

“It was a big group effort. Everyone from dad’s band chipped in. I was three or four, so I went to and from the refrigerator on beer runs” he chuckled and shook his head. “Will was old enough to help with the hammering and the manly stuff and I was so jealous. We made a pact to never let a woman step foot in here. Except mom, you know, because she brought us snacks. We used to spend the most part of every day in here.”

“So you’re breaking the pact right now, having me in here?”

“Oh believe me, Will broke the pact so many times. For a long time mom took the bed out of here.”

I cringed and looked at the sheets. Brayden just laughed. “Don’t worry, they’re clean. Eventually they put it back out here for whenever Gibbs got too drunk or stoned to drive home. It became sort of a legend, you know. Just think of how many rock stars have slept in this bed.”

“God, it’s hard to think of them as rock stars, you know? Just reading about how they were normal people in my mom’s story and then meeting them now,” I shook my head. “Incredible.”

“Well, I mean. I wouldn’t exactly call them rock stars. They weren’t like, fucking Def Leppard or anything.”

We went silent as the sounds of Ryan Adams filled the room. I was thankful that Brayden was in my life. This trip could have panned out a lot different if he wasn’t.
“You really think your mom would let me stay here?”

“Definitely. I think we should go get your stuff from your hotel.”

“Alright,” I nodded, kissing his cheek. “Let’s go. After you ask your mom, of course.”

We climbed out of the bed and each put our shoes on. After climbing down the ladder, we started making our way to the house. Before we could even reach the door he grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him. He looked over every inch of my face, like he was trying to etch it into his brain. His hand grazed my cheek as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “I’m really glad I met you, Carolina.”

I smiled and shrugged my shoulders lightly. “I’m really lucky that you’re in my life.” Without a moment’s hesitation, I stood on my tiptoes and lightly brushed my lips over his. I felt him smile into the kiss and wrap his arms around my waist, running his fingers lightly over the skin that had been exposed in the process. He deepened the kiss and slowly ran his tongue over my bottom lip, asking for entry.

“Ahem,” someone interrupted us and I pulled away quickly, looking up at Brayden who was looking to see who it was that ended our kiss.

“Well, we all knew this was going to happen.” I sighed as I recognized Garrett’s voice.

“Sorry dad, we were just on our way in to ask mom something.” I turned around and looked at Garrett, who had a smile on his face, which was not what I expected.

“Yeah, I see that.”

Brayden grabbed my hand started to drag me into the house behind him. I nodded to Garrett as he stepped to the side to let us through.

To say I was mortified wouldn’t even begin to cut it.

//\\//\\//\\

The next morning, we went to my hotel so that I could get my belongings and check out. After throwing all of my bags into the bed of his truck, we were on our way to the next house.

“Okay, so what should I know about these people?” I asked, perching my sunglasses on the bridge of my nose.

“Nothing really. They’ve been together forever. They’re literally the perfect couple. He teaches guitar lessons at his studio downtown and she’s like this really successful chef.”

“Sounds kind of intimidating.”

“They’re great people. You’ll be fine. Promise. I’ll be there with you, just like always,” he smirked, grabbing my hand and lacing our fingers together.

“You know, you just may be the most perfect boy I have ever met,” I joked, squeezing his hand lightly.

“Boy?” he scoffed, shaking his head. “Baby, I’m a man.”

I shook my head and tried to get used to the way his pet name made my heart beat quicken. It wasn’t long before we pulled up to the house.

“Wait a minute,” I said, hopping out of the car.

“Yeah, he and Austin are next door neighbors. Makes it easy when I do yard work.”

“I see,” I nodded. “Can I go see Gibbs later? Apologize for upchucking all over his deck?”

“If he’s home, I don’t see why not,” Brayden shrugged, throwing his arm around my shoulder.

It didn’t take long for someone to answer the door, and as always, he was confused as to why Brayden was there.

“Brayden?”

“Hey Jared,” Brayden said with a wave.

“What are you… Hey Carolina,” he said, finally catching my eye. “I’m Jared.”

“It’s really nice to meet you,” I said, taking the hand he was offering. He had a scruffy beard and the most perfect shade of red hair.

“Come in, come in,” he said, stepping to the side. I was in awe at the amount of framed posters lining the wall. Ryan Adams, Wilco, The Black Keys, and lastly The Maine.

“Wow, this is really awesome,” I commented, pointing to the picture of a man with a bushy beard and an American flag painted on his lips.

“Ah one of their American tour posters,” Brayden commented. It was the first piece of memorabilia I had seen as of yet.

“Oh shit, so he’s Jared. As in Jared Monstercock Monaco?” I asked in what I thought was a whisper, but he heard me.

“Who told her about that?”

“Uh, the trailer,” Brayden laughed with a shake of his head.

“So you were in Garrett’s band?” I asked, looking at the rest of the posters.

“Yeah. I know Lena left instruction not to have any band memorabilia around, but I never listened to her anyway.”

“Oh, me either.” I shrugged with a laugh. “I’m sure she just meant no pictures or something.”

“Hey,” he said in a low voice. I turned around and looked at him. “We were all really sorry to hear about your mom. She was a big part of our lives. She was kind and loving and strong willed. It was really hard to hear the news, I guess is what I am trying to say.”

I smiled at his kind words. Everyone else avoided the topic, but I felt like he was the kind of person who knew what to say in any type of situation. His words comforted me in a way I couldn’t explain and as I reached up to give him a hug, I realized something. The socially awkward girl I was when I first came here was gone. I was now at ease with these people. They were slowly becoming people I wanted around me all of the time, almost like family. I didn’t know a lot of them as well as I would like, but I felt that once I moved here, that would all change.

“Thank you,” was all I could manage to choke out. I wasn’t an emotional person really, but lately, I couldn’t help it.

Jared patted my back as we pulled out of each other’s grasp and cleared his throat. “Brayden, why are you here? Not that I mind, I mean, if you want to do yard work, I won’t oppose.”

“Nope, not today Red.” Brayden said, grabbing onto my hand and tugging me towards the living room. “Where’s Tessa?”

“In the kitchen. Where else would she be? She was making dinner for Carolina.”

“And it should be ready in about thirty minutes!” she called from her current standing in the kitchen.

“Come meet her, she’s perfect. I may be biased, though,” he winked and wedged his way between Brayden and me, causing our hands to separate. He wrapped his arm around me and quickened his pace, leaving Brayden behind us.

“He’s a little asshole, are you seriously with him?” Jared joked. I just shrugged and stifled a laugh.

“Nah. I’m actually holding out for Gibbs.”

“Good luck. He’s married.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Tessa, this is Carolina. Carolina, Tessa.”

“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” Tessa said, wiping her hands on a towel and stepping around the counter to embrace me in a hug.

“It’s nice to meet you too! This smells great,” I said, looking over at the food.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she shrugged. “By the time you go read your letter, it should be finished. I have so much I want to talk to you about!”

“Okay, let’s go to the living room,” Jared said, leading the way. I smiled at Tessa and followed Jared out of the room. My letter was waiting on the coffee table and Brayden raced past me, hopping over the back of the sofa.

“God, you’re a little asshole,” Jared laughed and flipped him off. “So we’ll be in the kitchen when you’re done. You guys like margarita’s?”

“Hell yes,” Brayden answered.

“Good.” Jared said with a clap. “I’ll leave you to it.”

I grabbed the envelope, and looked over at Brayden, who I decided was always excited for everything. I shook my head and opened it. “Why don’t you read it today, I’m tired.”

“It would be my pleasure, baby,” he said, and my stomach fluttered. He reached for the envelope and kissed me softly in the process.

“Here we go,” he said, opening the envelope and taking out the contents.

-----
My sweet Carolina,

Well. This is it.

----

I woke up and slowly blinked the sleep out of my eyes, not welcoming the new day. I looked over to the clock on the nightstand and groaned when it read 7 am. I looked to my right and punched Austin, who was snoring next to me.

“Wake up Gibbs, we have to get ready.”

“Fuck off, Lena.”

“Fuck you, asshole.”

“Why are you okay? You’re not hung over?”

“I’m hung over, alright,” I sighed, shielding my eyes from the harsh sun. “But it’s Rusty’s wedding and we have to be at the church at 10.”

“Let’s just skip it. He hates us both anyway.”

“We can’t do that. Go shower.”

“Fuck you.”

I sat up and placed my back firmly against the wall and used all of the power I could muster to kick Austin out of the bed. “Go.”

I watched his body fall out of the bed as he let out a loud cry of pain. “We’re not friends anymore, darling. You can go fuck yourself.”

I laughed and pulled the covers to my mouth, trying to stifle it before he heard me. It only took him a second to jump up from the ground and land on top of me.

“Don’t you dare,” I looked up at him, knowing what was coming next.

“Fuck. You,” he growled, unleashing his hands to tickle my sides. “YOU go take a shower.”

I was flailing and laughing so hard that I kicked him in the crotch. He instantly froze, falling down on his side and cradling his goods. “Damn it, Lena,” he choked out.

“I am so sorry, Gibbs,” I said, trying not to laugh. Is there anything you need me to do?” His face was turning a shade of red that I had never seen before.

“Kiss it, make it better,” he said, his eyes tearing up slightly.
“And on that note, I retract my apology and am leaving you to go shower. Hope it falls off.”

//\\//\\

“I really hope you trip going down the aisle today,” Gibbs said, holding open the door of the church for me.

“I’m sorry, Gibbs! I didn’t mean to hurt your manhood. Can you just drop it?” I asked, pausing on the threshold of the church, giving him puppy dog eyes. “I mean, I’m really, really sorry.”

“I can’t forgive you until you kiss it,” he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

I smiled and stood on my tiptoes, placing a soft kiss to his lips. “In your fucking dreams, Gibbs.”

“One day, Lena. You will see that we are going to end up together.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes and strolled into the church. Everybody else had already arrived, but the only one who watched the exchange between Austin and I was the one who probably shouldn’t have.

“Well, I’m going to go find Halvo. I’ll see you in a bit,” he offered, kissing the top of my head and leaving me to fend for myself. Rusty started making his way towards me, and I shook my head, leaving the area to find anybody else to talk to. Unfortunately, I didn’t find anyone. I assumed all of the bridesmaids were helping Rosie get ready. I think that is what they were supposed to do. I, however, didn’t really feel up to it. I found Austin’s jacket hanging off of a cross.

“Really classy, Austin,” I rolled my eyes and reached into his pocket. I let out a sigh of relief as my fingers grazed the carton of cigarettes.

“Hey,” I heard a voice call out behind me. I shut my eyes and let out the breath I was holding in.

“I can’t,” I shook my head before I even turned around.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You left early last night and I-”

“I’m fine, Rusty,” I interrupted, finally turning around. “Thanks for the concern.”

“You look beautif-“

“Save it, Rusty. I’m in a fucking pink dress. There is nothing beautiful about that. I am hung over and I really need a cigarette, so if you will excuse me…”
“Lena,” he tried. “Lena please.”

I ignored him and avoided him. I sat outside for hours, basking in the beautiful day Arizona had granted me with. I lost track of everything until Austin came outside and told me it was time. I sighed and threw my cigarette into the bushes.

“Are you ready to endure the hardest thing you have had to go through so far?”

“Sure,” I shrugged, linking my arm through his. “Cake.” He laughed and started to lead us through the doors.

“Hey, Gibbs.”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. Thank you for being here for me th-through everything. I don’t know where I would be if it w-weren’t for you. You’ve been my rock for the past few months and I really appreciate that. I really appreciate you.”

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. “I love you, Len. You’re a major part of my life, darling. You’ll get through this. You’re stronger than you think. We’ll get shitfaced tonight. I think we both deserve it.”

“You only think you deserve it because I kneed you in the family jewels, buddy.”

“Come on, let’s go,” he chuckled, grabbing my hand and bringing it to his face, brushing his lips over my knuckles gently.

Lining up in the hallway to go down the aisle filled my heart with a kind of dread that I had never felt before. This was it. This was really happening. Every time a couple walked down the aisle, my heart sunk down further in my chest. Every time a couple walked down the aisle, Austin held onto me a little tighter. When it was finally our turn, I couldn’t make my feet move. I stared at Rusty, who looked like a complete stranger. The smile that should have graced his face wasn’t there. Instead, a panicked face stared back at me.

“Come on, Lena,” Austin whispered into my ear, kissing my temple. “One foot in front of the other.”

I nodded and took a deep breath, slowly lifting my right foot and taking a small step. I wished Austin could carry me down that aisle like he had last night. My legs didn’t feel like my own. They felt too weak to carry my body down the aisle, which looked to be a mile long at this point. Somehow though, I pushed through. I don’t remember actually walking down the aisle, I just remember standing at the front of the church, waiting for Rosie to make her grand entrance. Not once did I look at Rusty, because I felt as though my emotions were already on the verge of erupting. Every single one of my emotions.

I couldn’t watch as the wedding march started and the entire church stood from their pews to turn and look at Rosie as she started to make her way down the church. I hadn’t seen her dress, or known what hairstyle she had picked out. I didn’t care. It may sound bad, but I didn’t care at all. I looked over at Austin, but his attention was on Rosie. I really needed him to look at me and give me that face. That face that he had that told me everything was going to be alright, that I would make it through this, but that isn’t what I got. I felt like I was going to be sick, but even that seemed to draining. I was a lifeless, shell of a person and that is not what I was supposed to be right now. I was supposed to be strong. I was supposed to at least be able to act like I was okay.

“You’re okay, you’re okay, you’re okay,” I repeated to myself over and over again inside of my head. If I said it enough, I would believe it. The music ended and I finally allowed myself to look at the altar.

“We are gathered here today join in matrimony,” the priest started, but I blocked him out. I focused on the way Austin’s eyes cut to me every few seconds. I focused on the way his hands were fidgeting.

Rusty’s voice finally pulled me out of whatever avoidance I was attempting.

“I Rusty, take thee, Rosie, to my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day on, now and..” he stalled, his eyes flickering over to me and then away so fast that I almost thought I made it up.

“Shit,” I heard him mumble under his breath.

“Rusty?” Rosie whispered, squeezing his hands. He took a breath and then looked up at her.

He cleared his throat and shook his head. “To have and to h-hold from this day on-” he stopped to take a deep breath and then shook his head. “This isn’t fair to you,” he whispered, letting go of one of her hands and placing it on her cheek. “I’m so sorry.”

“What are you talking about?” she pleaded, placing her hand over his. “Rusty, what is going on…”

“Rosie, I love you,” he started and then paused shaking his head. “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”

Rosie’s arms went limp as she stared at Rusty. The guests started whispering to each other. “And you’re waiting to tell me this now?”

“You deserve to be happy. You deserve so much, Rosie. You deserve the perfect life, and you won’t have any of that with me. I can’t give you my whole heart. I can’t give it to you because it belongs to someone else. I’m sorry, Rosie. I’m so sorry,”

“I really don’t understand why you couldn’t have told me this last night,” she said, trying to fight back the tears that I knew she was so desperately trying to hold in. Austin looked at me and I tried to ignore him. As far as I was concerned I was dreaming all of this up.

Some of the guests started getting outraged while others were still whispering among themselves.

“I’m sorry you guys came out today,” Rusty said, addressing the whole church. “I am sorry to everyone I have hurt in the process, but somewhere along this crazy journey of life, I fell in love with someone else. There will be no wedding today.”

Rosie slammed her bouquet into Rusty and then ran down the aisle, her parents and some of the bridesmaids chasing after her.

Rusty shook his head and ran his hands over his face. It wasn’t until he finally looked at me and grabbed my hand, pulling me behind him down the aisle that I realized that everything I thought I had been dreaming was really happening.

“Rusty, what are you doing?”

“We’re running away, Lenny. We’re running away and never looking back. We’re supposed to be together.”

“Rusty, you just broke her heart, are you even thinking straight?”

“No,” he stopped in the middle of the parking lot and shook his head. “No, I’m not. Love makes you do stupid shit, Lenny. You make me do stupid shit. I don’t what my life would be like without you in it. I don’t know what my life would be like if I didn’t get to see you everyday, kiss you everyday. I don’t want to know. I want to know what it’s like to make love to you,” he continued and I couldn’t help but blush. “I want to know what our children will end up looking like. Don’t you get it? I want you, I want all of you.”

I couldn’t reply, there were tears clouding my vision and my heart was beating out of my chest. I pressed my lips against his in a slow kiss, pulling myself as close to his body as I possibly could. I didn’t want to let go; I wanted to hold onto him for as long as I could. I wanted to make sure that this was all real, that he chose me; that we were finally going to get our chance. I deepened the kiss, smiling into it when he lifted me up off of the ground.

We pulled away and I looked into his eyes.

“Well, where are we going?”

“Far, far away,” he replied, reattaching our lips as he carried me the rest of the way to his car.

//\\//\\//\\

“God, when Mama Santino said their story was intense, she wasn’t kidding.”

“No, she wasn’t kidding,” Brayden laughed, folding the papers and stuffing them back into the envelope. He handed it to me so that I could put them back in my backpack.

“I think he could have done it a little classier, you know? Maybe he could have pulled Rosie aside before the wedding and told her. Not in front of her family and friends.”

“He probably wanted to go through with it so that he couldn’t hurt her,” he shrugged. “I bet he saw your mom and how she was taking it and changed couldn’t go through with it.”

“You kids done?” Jared asked, poking his head into the room. “Dinner’s ready. I’m starving.”

“Let’s go,” Brayden said, planting a kiss to my temple.

Tessa made the most food I had ever seen on a table. It wasn’t even Thanksgiving. “I’m sorry,” she laughed, watching me take in all of the food. “I kind of got carried away.”

“Yeah, but I promise you, it will be the best food you ever put in your mouth.” Jared said, grabbing Tessa’s hand on top of the table.

Brayden agreed and placed his hand lightly on my thigh.

“Dig in,” Jared said, passing out plates to everyone.

After dinner and a very painful game of charades, Brayden and I were on our way out of the door. I looked over to Austin’s house and sighed when I saw the lights were all off.

“I’ll bring you back here soon. I promise,” Brayden said, pulling me closer to his body.

“Well, I’ll see him at the wedding, right?” I asked. He nodded and kissed the top of my head.

“We’ll see him at the wedding,” he agreed.

“Can you take me to ASU tomorrow so that I can see the campus?” I asked, grabbing onto his hand.

“I’ll take you wherever you want to go, baby.”

I was slowly starting to get used to the butterflies that were permanently settling in my stomach. Somehow, I figured I would feel them for a long time.