On My Own

I uploaded pictures from my new camera to Stephanie’s laptop and smiled at the results. This morning’s sunrise had been absolutely gorgeous. And then when the beach had been completely empty last night, indescribable. I understood why Jeremy wanted to spend his life taking pictures; there were so many words to describe any moment in history.

“Mind if I hack into your Facebook?” I asked Stephanie as she got ready for her date with Zacky. Stephanie shook her head and continued fixing her hair. I went to Facebook.com and Stephanie was already logged on. I typed Jeremy’s name into the search bar and clicked on his profile. I smiled sadly at the picture of me and him from the beginning of the summer at the beach. I went through his friends and found Megan and Anissa’s profiles, since Jessie didn’t have one.

“Are you okay?” Stephanie asked. She sat next to me and looked at the picture from last year’s homecoming powder-puff game. I had my elbow’s locked with Jeremy and Jessie and Anissa’s was locked with Jessie’s other one. We were all showing our Sunshine pride and had big grins on our faces. “You miss them.”

“They kept me alive,” I sighed. The doorbell rang and Stephanie blushed. “I’ll get it!” I set her laptop aside and ran down the stairs. I beat Dave to the door and let Zacky in. “Hey, Zacky!”

“Hey Adie,” he replied, giving me a quick hug. “I’m surprised you’re not hanging out with Matt.”

“He said he was going to the cemetery so I’ve been doing homework all day,” I explained. Zacky nodded and looked at Dave. “This is Stephanie’s dad, David Collins. Dave, this is Stephanie’s date and Matt’s friend, Zacky Baker.” The two men shook hands and Dave studied him.

“Follow me,” Dave told him, turning and heading towards his office. Zacky followed him and Dave shut the door. I shouted up “Code Red” to Stephanie. She ran down the stairs with wide eyes. I pointed to her dad’s office and she groaned.

“He already gave Zacky the up-down,” I informed her. She nodded and we pressed our ears to the door. Dave was doing the usual ‘if you hurt my daughter’ lecture and didn’t mention anything about his age. Stephanie let out a sigh of relief and we got up. We sat down on the couch and waited. Five minutes later, they both walked out smiling.

“Zacky!” Stephanie giggled, running to him and giving him a hug. He squeezed her back. “Ready to go?” She looked from Zacky to her dad.

“Ready,” he told her. “Adie, need a ride home?” I shook my head. “Walking?”

“I have to use Steph’s laptop for some homework,” I lied. “I’m just going to stay here and work.” Zacky still looked confused, but dropped it. He and Stephanie headed to the door. “Have fun!” They left and I brought my feet up to the couch.

“I had a lot of fun,” I said honestly to the boy as he walked to my door. “We should go again soon.”

“We should,” he agreed as we stood on my porch. “I’m glad we did this, Britt.” He put his arms around my waist and gave me a squeeze. Mine went around his neck and I buried my head between his neck and collar bone. I looked up at him and softly kissed his lips. After several moments, we pulled away and blushed. “I’ll call you.”

“I’ll be waiting,” I told him. He pecked my cheek and watched me unlock my door. “Bye.” I went inside and watched him get into his car. When he pulled away, I shut the door and squealed. “Mom, Dad?”

Nobody answered. Instead, screaming was heard. I walked into the kitchen and saw my sister and her boyfriend screaming about money and children and my parents trying to calm them. I tried to get some attention, but was completely ignored. I headed upstairs and heard even more shouting. My brother and his bimbo of a girlfriend were in each other’s faces and both red faced.

“Dumb asses,” I mumbled, turning and going right back down the stairs. I squeezed past my parents and grabbed a bottle of vodka. I walked past my parents and grabbed a bottle of coke before going upstairs. I drank about a quarter of the coke before pouring in vodka. I shook it and chugged the whole bottle.

I had a giant grin as I walked back downstairs. The arguing was even worse so I didn’t bother with the soda. I grabbed a water bottle and completely emptied into the sink before filling it with the clear vodka. I walked out the door and walked a few blocks to one of my brother’s best friend’s houses. They let me in and I grinned.

“Britty-Baby, what would you like?” He asked me.

“Ecstasy. Just one pill. Please.” I stuck out my bottom lip and batted my eyelashes. He handed me a small pill and I went to paint the town red.

I shook my head and cringed. Ecstasy had seriously sucked. I’ll never forget Jeremy’s words when he found the bag of pills in my night stand a few months later. ”Brittan, if you ever do this again, I’m done being your best friend. I can’t help you if you’re trying to destroy yourself.” Ha, what if he found out that I had tried killing myself with Ecstasy and a bunch of other pills? Dave handed me my dinner plate. He told me he was heading to bed and to have Stephanie come tell him when she was home. I nodded and ate my food.

The door flew open and I jumped. Zacky marched right up to me and glared. He was looking a little beyond the mad point. Stephanie ran in after him, giving me an extremely apologetic look. “Tell me, how long were you going to continue lying to my best friend, Brittany?” Zacky demanded.