Status: Active
Victim
Chapter Six; Lie And Cry
[ii]"I don't want you guys doing anything you'll regret later." This is what Zack said earlier, and I did something I'd regret.
I fucked up. I practically just ruined my life. My uncles are going to kill me. And if my dad was still alive he'd kill Kaiden, too. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how I'm going to tell them. Fuck.
I looked at the time and noticed it was 3:45 a.m. I looked around the room and everyone was asleep. I sigh and close my eyes. I lay in the dark for what seems to be hours upon hours before haearing a car pull into the drive. I stand up and walk to the door. Zacky stumbles forward with a girl on his side. I let them in and he looks at me and puts his index finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet. I nod and the drunk red head smiles at me before the two walk up the stairs. I shake my head, and lay back down.
*
Zack looks at me. "Shhh.."
"Don't worry." I say.
He smiles and the red head tip toes out of the house.
"Did you even get any sleep?"
I shake my head.
"We're we being loud?"
"Nah. I just couldn't sleep."
"What's on your mind?"
"Nothing." I lie.
"Well, lemme know when you feel like talking, liar."
I nod and he walks upstairs.
I follow after him and stand by the door, "Zacky.."
"Yeah, Vix?"
"I want to talk to you. And you have to promise not to tell anyone, anything."
"You throw me under the bus, you'll get thrown under. You keep your mouth shut, I'll do the same." He says, "So what do you wanna talk about?"
Kaiden. I think, I can't tell him though. He'll go beserk.
"I kind of want to..." I stop, trying to think of something. "What if you and Brian liked the same girl?"
"You like the same girl as Jaz?" He questioned.
I bit my lip and nodded. "Yeah."
"The one all cuddle on Jaz, the one with black and red hair?"
I nod. "Yeah, Tyler."
"She's not all that, Vix."
"She is, in a way."
"I don't think so. But I guess just let her choose who she wants to be with. I mean, it's always up to her."
"Thanks, Zacky."
"Anytime, Faggot."
"Fuck You." I smile. "So, where's Gena?"
"Vegas. Had a businiuss trip out there."
"She was here yesterday." I say, "What'd she do fly out last night?"
He nods. I grab his hand and pull him downstairs into the back yard. He hands me a smoke and pulls one out for himself.
I light it and inhale deeply before looking over at him.
"Vixyn, what did you do at the party?"
"It was boring. Nothing fun happened."
"Oh, so how were things with you and Kaiden?"
"Awkward."
"Why?"
"Well, we talked for a while but it just got kind of wierd after a while."
He raised an eyebrow, "Oh, god! Vix, tell me you didn't do anything stupid!"
"I didn't." I lie.
He nods, slowly. "Did you drink? Smoke?"
"Nope."
"You? You didn't smoke while you were there? That's hard to believe."
"Zacky, shut up." I laugh.
He takes my cigarette from me and outs it out before picking me up and tossing me over his shoulder. He walks to the edge of the pool and throws me in.
"AHH! What the fuck! Zacky!"
He laughs and runs inside. I chase after him as I take my shirt off and run into the house. I swing my shirt at him and it hits him on the leg. He stops running and turns around, he grabs my shirt and pulls it out of my grip. He hits me once on the stomach before running up the stairs and slamming his door.
I chase after him and kick the door, causing it to swing open. Zack puts a finger up and I realize his phone is pressed against his ear. I open his dresser and get some basketball shorts out and a t-shirt. I put them on and sit on his bed.
"Yeah, okay," He frowns. "It's cool." He pauses. "Uh, I would but I can't. We have to plan some more stuff for Jimmy, plus Vix and Jaz had a sleepover last night and there are like ten teen age girls sleeping on my floor."
"No, not my bedroom floor! The living room."
"Dumb fuck." I murmur and walk out of the room. I walk downstairs and wake the girls up.
Tyler looks at me and smiles and I realize, Zacky was right. She's not that hot.
Zack comes downstairs and looks at me. "I told you so." He smirks.
"Yeah, I can easily say the same thing about your redhead!" I spit.
"Shut, the fuck, up."
"I'm jus' sayin."
He frowns and heads to the kitchen. Pots and pans cling together and he asks, "Pancakes?"
"Yes!"
I sat on the couch and Jaz sat next to me. I laid down on her shoulder and sighed.
"Vix. Smoke break. Jaz, can you watch the food real quick?"
I get up and walk out back. "Wait, you aren't going to throw me into the pool, right?"
"Nope."
I walk out and sit next to him. I grab my cigarette from earlier and light it.
*
I walk into the house and see Matt. "Hey." I smile.
He nods once, and I walk up to Val's room. She smiles at me and I sit on the bed.
"I kind of want to meet her."
"When?"
"The funeral, I guess?"
"Are you sure?"
"I think." I frown.
"It's up to you, baby girl." She kisses my head and walks out of the room.
I get up and walk down the stairs to the small studio where I find Johnny and Brian talking.
"Vixyn, what's wrong?" Brian asks.
"Nothing."
"I want you to read this." Brian says.
He hands me a sheet of paper and I read it.
Never feared for anything.
Never shamed but never free.
A laugh that healed the broken heart with all that it could.
Lived the life so endlessly.
Saw beyond what others see.
I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could.
Will you stay?
Will you stay away forever?
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned.
Place and time always on my mind.
I have so much to say but you're so far away.
Plans of what our features hold
Foolish lies of growin' old
It seems we're so invincible, the truth is so cold.
A final song, a last request
A perfect chapter laid to rest
Now and then I try to find a place in my mind.
Where you can say,
You can stay awake forever.
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned.
Place and time always on my mind.
I have so much to say but you're so far away.
Sleep tight, I'm not afraid.
The ones that we love are here with me.
Lay away a place for me
'Cause as soon as I'm done, I'll be on my way
To live eternally.
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay
I have so much to say but you're so far away.
I love you
You were ready
The pain is strong enough to despise
But I'll see you
When He lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands are tied.
So far away.
And I need you to know
So far away
And I need you to,
Need you to know...
I wipe my eyes and look at Brian, "You wrote this?"
He nods.
"It's beautiful." I hand him the paper and walk upstairs. I go to my room and close the door and lock it. I put my iPod on through the speakers and play Adam's Song.
My eyes close and I drift away into a deep sleep.
I fucked up. I practically just ruined my life. My uncles are going to kill me. And if my dad was still alive he'd kill Kaiden, too. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how I'm going to tell them. Fuck.
I looked at the time and noticed it was 3:45 a.m. I looked around the room and everyone was asleep. I sigh and close my eyes. I lay in the dark for what seems to be hours upon hours before haearing a car pull into the drive. I stand up and walk to the door. Zacky stumbles forward with a girl on his side. I let them in and he looks at me and puts his index finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet. I nod and the drunk red head smiles at me before the two walk up the stairs. I shake my head, and lay back down.
*
Zack looks at me. "Shhh.."
"Don't worry." I say.
He smiles and the red head tip toes out of the house.
"Did you even get any sleep?"
I shake my head.
"We're we being loud?"
"Nah. I just couldn't sleep."
"What's on your mind?"
"Nothing." I lie.
"Well, lemme know when you feel like talking, liar."
I nod and he walks upstairs.
I follow after him and stand by the door, "Zacky.."
"Yeah, Vix?"
"I want to talk to you. And you have to promise not to tell anyone, anything."
"You throw me under the bus, you'll get thrown under. You keep your mouth shut, I'll do the same." He says, "So what do you wanna talk about?"
Kaiden. I think, I can't tell him though. He'll go beserk.
"I kind of want to..." I stop, trying to think of something. "What if you and Brian liked the same girl?"
"You like the same girl as Jaz?" He questioned.
I bit my lip and nodded. "Yeah."
"The one all cuddle on Jaz, the one with black and red hair?"
I nod. "Yeah, Tyler."
"She's not all that, Vix."
"She is, in a way."
"I don't think so. But I guess just let her choose who she wants to be with. I mean, it's always up to her."
"Thanks, Zacky."
"Anytime, Faggot."
"Fuck You." I smile. "So, where's Gena?"
"Vegas. Had a businiuss trip out there."
"She was here yesterday." I say, "What'd she do fly out last night?"
He nods. I grab his hand and pull him downstairs into the back yard. He hands me a smoke and pulls one out for himself.
I light it and inhale deeply before looking over at him.
"Vixyn, what did you do at the party?"
"It was boring. Nothing fun happened."
"Oh, so how were things with you and Kaiden?"
"Awkward."
"Why?"
"Well, we talked for a while but it just got kind of wierd after a while."
He raised an eyebrow, "Oh, god! Vix, tell me you didn't do anything stupid!"
"I didn't." I lie.
He nods, slowly. "Did you drink? Smoke?"
"Nope."
"You? You didn't smoke while you were there? That's hard to believe."
"Zacky, shut up." I laugh.
He takes my cigarette from me and outs it out before picking me up and tossing me over his shoulder. He walks to the edge of the pool and throws me in.
"AHH! What the fuck! Zacky!"
He laughs and runs inside. I chase after him as I take my shirt off and run into the house. I swing my shirt at him and it hits him on the leg. He stops running and turns around, he grabs my shirt and pulls it out of my grip. He hits me once on the stomach before running up the stairs and slamming his door.
I chase after him and kick the door, causing it to swing open. Zack puts a finger up and I realize his phone is pressed against his ear. I open his dresser and get some basketball shorts out and a t-shirt. I put them on and sit on his bed.
"Yeah, okay," He frowns. "It's cool." He pauses. "Uh, I would but I can't. We have to plan some more stuff for Jimmy, plus Vix and Jaz had a sleepover last night and there are like ten teen age girls sleeping on my floor."
"No, not my bedroom floor! The living room."
"Dumb fuck." I murmur and walk out of the room. I walk downstairs and wake the girls up.
Tyler looks at me and smiles and I realize, Zacky was right. She's not that hot.
Zack comes downstairs and looks at me. "I told you so." He smirks.
"Yeah, I can easily say the same thing about your redhead!" I spit.
"Shut, the fuck, up."
"I'm jus' sayin."
He frowns and heads to the kitchen. Pots and pans cling together and he asks, "Pancakes?"
"Yes!"
I sat on the couch and Jaz sat next to me. I laid down on her shoulder and sighed.
"Vix. Smoke break. Jaz, can you watch the food real quick?"
I get up and walk out back. "Wait, you aren't going to throw me into the pool, right?"
"Nope."
I walk out and sit next to him. I grab my cigarette from earlier and light it.
*
I walk into the house and see Matt. "Hey." I smile.
He nods once, and I walk up to Val's room. She smiles at me and I sit on the bed.
"I kind of want to meet her."
"When?"
"The funeral, I guess?"
"Are you sure?"
"I think." I frown.
"It's up to you, baby girl." She kisses my head and walks out of the room.
I get up and walk down the stairs to the small studio where I find Johnny and Brian talking.
"Vixyn, what's wrong?" Brian asks.
"Nothing."
"I want you to read this." Brian says.
He hands me a sheet of paper and I read it.
Never feared for anything.
Never shamed but never free.
A laugh that healed the broken heart with all that it could.
Lived the life so endlessly.
Saw beyond what others see.
I tried to heal your broken heart with all that I could.
Will you stay?
Will you stay away forever?
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned.
Place and time always on my mind.
I have so much to say but you're so far away.
Plans of what our features hold
Foolish lies of growin' old
It seems we're so invincible, the truth is so cold.
A final song, a last request
A perfect chapter laid to rest
Now and then I try to find a place in my mind.
Where you can say,
You can stay awake forever.
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned.
Place and time always on my mind.
I have so much to say but you're so far away.
Sleep tight, I'm not afraid.
The ones that we love are here with me.
Lay away a place for me
'Cause as soon as I'm done, I'll be on my way
To live eternally.
How do I live without the ones I love?
Time still turns the pages of the book it's burned
Place and time always on my mind
And the light you left remains but it's so hard to stay
I have so much to say but you're so far away.
I love you
You were ready
The pain is strong enough to despise
But I'll see you
When He lets me
Your pain is gone, your hands are tied.
So far away.
And I need you to know
So far away
And I need you to,
Need you to know...
I wipe my eyes and look at Brian, "You wrote this?"
He nods.
"It's beautiful." I hand him the paper and walk upstairs. I go to my room and close the door and lock it. I put my iPod on through the speakers and play Adam's Song.
My eyes close and I drift away into a deep sleep.