Time Will Tell

“I am so sorry,” I gasp. He just lies next to me, an arm thrown over his eyes. I put my hand on his chest. “Noah… Noah, I didn’t… I don’t know why I… I didn’t mean to,” I stumble, my voice breaking a couple times. I feel like crap. A tear falls down my cheek and I know that there’s more to come. I can feel my frame shaking. “I’m sorry,” I cry.

He removes his arm and reaches up to wipe away a tear. He doesn’t look mad. Then he surprises me and smiles.

“Baby, don’t cry, I’m not mad. It stung a little, but I understand.”

I shake my head at him. “You’re not mad?” I ask, still crying. He sits up and pulls me close to him. He rubs my back.

“Sweetheart,” he chuckles sadly. “Please don’t cry. I’m not mad, really, I swear. The last person you remember being with is Reese.”

“B-but, you’re so much better,” I sniff. He smiles and kisses me softly on the lips.

“I’m glad you think so,” he laughs, kissing a tear from my cheek. “Now stop, you’re making me sad. The fact that you wanted me to have sex with you is a huge step forward – you remember wanting me… and I want you, so it all works out.”

I wipe my eyes with the back of my arm. “I really didn’t mean to, because – because you don’t even know how I feel about you.”

He shakes his head and grins. “Honey, I do know how you feel about me. Believe me, I do. I love you.”

I nod sleepily and he kisses me and lays back down, pulling me with him. “Go to sleep, baby. And stop worrying about it because I don’t forgive you. There’s nothing to forgive.”

I smile and snuggle closer to him.

I wake up to an empty bed. Frowning, I push myself up and grab my clothes from the floor, pulling them on as fast as I can. I walk into his bathroom and splash some water in my face, and then pull my hair into a sloppy bun. I make my way quietly to his living room, and find him asleep on the couch with Grace asleep on his chest. He has an arm wrapped gently around her and she has his shirt balled up in her little hands. It’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen in my life.

She yawns and opens her eyes. She looks around, seeming confused, and when she sees me she smiles and reaches her arms towards me. I smile softly and kiss her cheek. She squirms under Noah’s arm and whines. He moves his arm and I pick her up, pulling her close to me. She wraps her tiny, chubby arms around my neck. “I love you, baby girl,” I whisper quietly to her.

“Love Momma,” she says clearly. I look down at her and it hits me that this little human being really thinks of me as her mother. She hurts when I’m not there. It occurs to me that maybe I hurt when she’s not there, because I do love her. She’s my baby.

“What’s wrong?” Noah’s voice startles me.

I jump slightly and look over at him. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “What’s with the look on your face?”

“I… I just…” I don’t know how to explain.

“You just what?” he asks, looking worried.

I smile at him reassuringly. “I just love her, that’s all.”

He laughs and holds his hand out to me. I walk over and cuddle up next to him on the couch. “I know you do. She loves you, too.”

“I don’t know. It just now hit me, I guess. I’m only eighteen and I’ve already got everything I want.”

He chuckles and kisses the side of my head. “You’re a part of our family.”