Untangle Me
1/3
“Beautiful,” she heard as she gracefully danced across the studio. She tried not to listen as she dipped backwards, stealing a glance at her peers as she did so. They looked on boredly; they knew she was the best and therefore she would get the part no matter what she did.
She tried not to think.
She never let her ego go to her head. She always critiqued herself harshly; she was never good enough at anything she did, no matter how much glowing praise she received. She learned that bad habit from her mother. It was never enough to be just acceptable. The only way to be perfect was to practice. And in order to keep that focus, she was never allowed to socialize.
She had forgotten what it felt like to socialize. She didn’t need the company of others and because it had been such a long time, it felt weird if someone tried to accompany her. The concept of depending on anyone else other than herself was so foreign to her that she had completely lost ability to socialize at all outside of hello and goodbye. She spoke to the important people in her life: her mother and her directors.
“Stunning! Absolutely-”
The door crashed open and she stumbled in shock. The soft piano ceased and all eyes turned to the boy standing in the entryway. He looked mortified for a split second until his hard stare returned. He strode across the studio, exchanged a quick word with the director, and then disappeared into the back rooms.
“Should I-”
“I’ve seen enough,” he said flatly, disinterested.
“But-”
He simply shook his head. She swallowed hard and quickly walked over to where the other girls were sitting. She grabbed her duffle bag and escaped into the dressing rooms. She felt the unmistakable burn of tears welling in her eyes as she slammed through the messy dressing room.
“What’s your problem?” a strange voice asked, startling her yet again.
She turned cold eyes on him. He pushed a chair in and leaned against the counter, waiting expectantly for an answer. “Who are you?” she countered, trying to hide the hurt in her voice. This boy had ruined her audition and he had the audacity to ask what her problem was? He reminded her of all the reasons why she never talked to anyone.
“Name’s John,” he gave freely.
“Well, John,” she said curtly, as she looked him head to toe. He dressed in a stereotypical urban fashion; boots, tight jeans, and a plaid button-up that was left open to show off a loose tank top underneath. “You interrupted my audition.”
He laughed, something she hadn’t expected. She recoiled. “How so?” he asked coolly.
“What? You- You slammed the door open,” she stammered. Already he was infuriating her. “Don’t you know that when the door is shut you wait until you hear the music stop to enter?”
He shrugged with indifference. “How would I know something like that?”
She bit her bottom lip hard. She didn’t need to lose focus anymore than she already had. Raising her bag a little higher on her shoulder, she continued to walk by him. As she passed him she heard his soft chuckle and out of the corner of her eye she saw him shake his head.
“You didn’t even tell me your name,” he called after her.
She hesitated in the doorway, her back to him. She didn’t know why she did it but she turned ever so slightly so they could make eye contact. “You didn’t ask for it.”
He smiled. His teeth were bright white and beautiful. “Well, consider this me asking.”
Her heart did something unexpected: it fluttered. “Auden.”
He smiled a little more, showing a wider view of his teeth. “Nice to meet you, Auden.”
She gave him a nod, unsure what to say next, and tore her eyes away from him so she could leave through the back door. She took the bus downtown and sat outside at her favorite coffee shop before heading home for the night. She sipped her coffee in peace, counting the minutes until her mother would call to check up on her.
That boy, though. He somehow had infected her thoughts after such a short meeting. And although he annoyed her with his nonchalance and arrogance, he made an impression on her that she couldn’t shake. He was mysterious, to say the least. She had no idea why he was there or what brought him there to begin with, but part of her didn’t really mind not knowing. It was the way he smiled at her, the way his eyes sparkled with something genuine as he spoke.
He wasn’t normal for her routine. He was a danger, really; he threatened to ruin everything she worked 19 years for.
It was like clockwork.
“Hi, Mom,” she answered.
“When will you be home, sweetheart?”
She promised within twenty minutes and hung up. She pulled a light jacket out of her bag, slipped it on, and headed for the bus stop. She finished a few words in her current crossword puzzle before reaching her stop. Tucking the pen and crossword book into her bag as she stepped off the bus, she closed the jacket around her even tighter. The doorman opened the front door to the apartment building for her, greeting her formally and nodding his head in acknowledgement as she entered.
“Good day, Ms. Auden,” he greeted.
“Hello, Charles,” she said sweetly in return, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Anything exciting happen today?”
“No, ma’am,” he answered, his cheeks bright red. “How was your audition?”
She sighed, shoulders falling as she remembered how terribly it had ended. “I’ve done better,” she replied.
He smiled kindly at her. “I’m sure you got the part anyway.”
She smiled, too. “Let’s hope so. I’m baking cookies later, I’ll be sure to bring you some.”
Her mother was waiting for her in the doorway, arms crossed in disapproval. She kept her eyes low as she walked past her mother. She tried not to listen as her mother called out criticisms, scolding her for being even five minutes late.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, tugging the elastic from her hair. She shook her hair out and exhaled deeply, her head tingling. She quickly twisted her hair back into a bun and stepped into the kitchen to start cooking and baking.
“I stopped by the library,” her mother said, now directly behind her. She gently smoothed her hand over the top of her head. “I picked you up some new books to read.”
She forced another smile. “Thank you.”
She tried not to think.
She never let her ego go to her head. She always critiqued herself harshly; she was never good enough at anything she did, no matter how much glowing praise she received. She learned that bad habit from her mother. It was never enough to be just acceptable. The only way to be perfect was to practice. And in order to keep that focus, she was never allowed to socialize.
She had forgotten what it felt like to socialize. She didn’t need the company of others and because it had been such a long time, it felt weird if someone tried to accompany her. The concept of depending on anyone else other than herself was so foreign to her that she had completely lost ability to socialize at all outside of hello and goodbye. She spoke to the important people in her life: her mother and her directors.
“Stunning! Absolutely-”
The door crashed open and she stumbled in shock. The soft piano ceased and all eyes turned to the boy standing in the entryway. He looked mortified for a split second until his hard stare returned. He strode across the studio, exchanged a quick word with the director, and then disappeared into the back rooms.
“Should I-”
“I’ve seen enough,” he said flatly, disinterested.
“But-”
He simply shook his head. She swallowed hard and quickly walked over to where the other girls were sitting. She grabbed her duffle bag and escaped into the dressing rooms. She felt the unmistakable burn of tears welling in her eyes as she slammed through the messy dressing room.
“What’s your problem?” a strange voice asked, startling her yet again.
She turned cold eyes on him. He pushed a chair in and leaned against the counter, waiting expectantly for an answer. “Who are you?” she countered, trying to hide the hurt in her voice. This boy had ruined her audition and he had the audacity to ask what her problem was? He reminded her of all the reasons why she never talked to anyone.
“Name’s John,” he gave freely.
“Well, John,” she said curtly, as she looked him head to toe. He dressed in a stereotypical urban fashion; boots, tight jeans, and a plaid button-up that was left open to show off a loose tank top underneath. “You interrupted my audition.”
He laughed, something she hadn’t expected. She recoiled. “How so?” he asked coolly.
“What? You- You slammed the door open,” she stammered. Already he was infuriating her. “Don’t you know that when the door is shut you wait until you hear the music stop to enter?”
He shrugged with indifference. “How would I know something like that?”
She bit her bottom lip hard. She didn’t need to lose focus anymore than she already had. Raising her bag a little higher on her shoulder, she continued to walk by him. As she passed him she heard his soft chuckle and out of the corner of her eye she saw him shake his head.
“You didn’t even tell me your name,” he called after her.
She hesitated in the doorway, her back to him. She didn’t know why she did it but she turned ever so slightly so they could make eye contact. “You didn’t ask for it.”
He smiled. His teeth were bright white and beautiful. “Well, consider this me asking.”
Her heart did something unexpected: it fluttered. “Auden.”
He smiled a little more, showing a wider view of his teeth. “Nice to meet you, Auden.”
She gave him a nod, unsure what to say next, and tore her eyes away from him so she could leave through the back door. She took the bus downtown and sat outside at her favorite coffee shop before heading home for the night. She sipped her coffee in peace, counting the minutes until her mother would call to check up on her.
That boy, though. He somehow had infected her thoughts after such a short meeting. And although he annoyed her with his nonchalance and arrogance, he made an impression on her that she couldn’t shake. He was mysterious, to say the least. She had no idea why he was there or what brought him there to begin with, but part of her didn’t really mind not knowing. It was the way he smiled at her, the way his eyes sparkled with something genuine as he spoke.
He wasn’t normal for her routine. He was a danger, really; he threatened to ruin everything she worked 19 years for.
It was like clockwork.
“Hi, Mom,” she answered.
“When will you be home, sweetheart?”
She promised within twenty minutes and hung up. She pulled a light jacket out of her bag, slipped it on, and headed for the bus stop. She finished a few words in her current crossword puzzle before reaching her stop. Tucking the pen and crossword book into her bag as she stepped off the bus, she closed the jacket around her even tighter. The doorman opened the front door to the apartment building for her, greeting her formally and nodding his head in acknowledgement as she entered.
“Good day, Ms. Auden,” he greeted.
“Hello, Charles,” she said sweetly in return, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Anything exciting happen today?”
“No, ma’am,” he answered, his cheeks bright red. “How was your audition?”
She sighed, shoulders falling as she remembered how terribly it had ended. “I’ve done better,” she replied.
He smiled kindly at her. “I’m sure you got the part anyway.”
She smiled, too. “Let’s hope so. I’m baking cookies later, I’ll be sure to bring you some.”
Her mother was waiting for her in the doorway, arms crossed in disapproval. She kept her eyes low as she walked past her mother. She tried not to listen as her mother called out criticisms, scolding her for being even five minutes late.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, tugging the elastic from her hair. She shook her hair out and exhaled deeply, her head tingling. She quickly twisted her hair back into a bun and stepped into the kitchen to start cooking and baking.
“I stopped by the library,” her mother said, now directly behind her. She gently smoothed her hand over the top of her head. “I picked you up some new books to read.”
She forced another smile. “Thank you.”