Warmness on my soul

I woke up in his arms still but when I remembered what happened last night my world fell again. I couldn’t believe Tom did what he did with that Crystal what’s her face.
“Are you awake?”
“Yeah, good morning Bri.”
“Morning beautiful. Are you ok?”
“I will be. God! I gotta go to work! I’m late…” I started getting out of the couch and Brian followed me.
“Are you kidding me? You can’t go to work today after what happened.”
“I have too. My boss will get furious with me.”
“Well, tell him he can suck it up. You’re not going.”
Maybe Brian was right. I called my boss with a fake sick voice and when I was done Bri was looking at me grinning like a 5 year old.
“What?”
“Nothing. I was just counting your freckles, Freckles…”
“Oh, shut up!”
“You wanna go somewhere? You got to get out of the house.”
“You know what, I really don’t want to, but we gotta get out of here, because my cousin will be here at any minute.”
“I’m not following you. What’s wrong? I thought she liked me?”
“The problem is that she likes you too much. She’s always making jokes about us…”
“Us?”
“Well, since I ran into you Friday, she thought we would get back together. I know, she’s very dumb.”
“I don’t think she’s dumb.” He looked at his feet when he said this.
I looked right in his brown eyes. “What do you mean?” His cell phone started ringing. Apparently the guys would meet at the studio and he asked if I would like to join them. I changed clothes had breakfast with Brian and left a note to Tanya saying I was with the guys and we would talk when I got back. Brian wanted to pick up his guitar first so we stopped by his house before heading to the studio.
“Excited to see where the magic happens?”
“I thought the magic happened on the studio…”
“Yeah, but I try to write as many solos as I can at home.”
“Oh, really… Am I going to meet pinkly now?”
“Oh yes.” We laughed and after some minutes we arrived. His house was beautiful outside and I couldn’t wait to see the inside. We entered and I was amazed. His house was really big and awesome.
“There’s my girl!”
“So I suppose that’s Pinkly?” A little white maltese just jumped to Brian when we entered.
“Yeah, say hello pinkly!”
Brian picked her up and I started petting her. She licked my hands and Brian laughed.
“I think she likes me.”
“She fucking loves you! Hold her while I go grab my guitar, would ya?”
Pinkly was very friendly and we were having a lot of fun. Brian came back with his guitar and looked at us.
“You’re besties already? I’m getting jealous…”
“Of who?”
“Of you of course. Pinkly’s mine!”
When we got to the studio the boys were outside smoking and they waved at us.
“Hey, what took you so long?” Zacky asked.
“We had to go pick my guitar first.”
“Wow! Did he show you his bedroom already?”
“Shut up smurf!” I said to Johnny.
“Oh, you too already?” I chuckled and gave him a hug.
“Don’t you think I forgot you, Duracell bunny…” Jimmy started tickling me and I was laughing uncontrollably. Finally he stopped and kissed my cheek.
“Wanna start working on some solos Gates?”
“Fucking Shadows and his solos.” We all started laughing and went inside.
I was in a room with Matt, Brian and Zacky and Bri was recording some guitar parts. I was watching him play and felt so happy. He was doing what he loved, with his best friends, and he was great at it. The way his long fingers shredded the guitar frets was perfect. I was distracted from my thoughts when Johnny came in.
“Got someone here to see you.”
I walked out to see Tanya with her arms crossed smiling at me.
“Morning!”
“What’s up?”
“Just came visit, I read your note. You think it’s ok if I come in to say hello?”
“They will love to see you!”
When the guys saw Tanya they all set up and hugged her, one by one. We were talking for a little bit now and Tanya leaned in to my side.
“He keeps looking at you…” I rolled my eyes at her but when I looked at Brian he was actually looking at me.
The guys started working again so me and Tanya ere at the couch.
“Want to go out for a coffee?”
“Yeah sure. Hey guys can I leave my stuff here, we’re just gonna go out for a coffee but we’ll be back soon.”
“Sure! Have fun.” Zacky said.
We were talking about random stuff and halfway through the coffee she said
“Hey, how did the surprise go yesterday?”
As you can imagine she freaked out when I told her what happened. First she was the supportive family member.
“Oh my God honey, are you ok? I’m so sorry.”
Then the impulsive, annoying Tanya came screaming.
“I’m going to kill that fucking bastard! I’m gonna cut out his testicles and wear them as earrings! I told you! I never trusted him! ”
She screamed a lot. But after the screaming was done came something worse.
“Let’s see the positive side. Now you can fuck Brian because you’re single.”
“Shut up. We’re just friends now. Get over it.”
“Please! I saw the way he was looking at you… Am I wrong?”
“Well this morning he said something that got me thinking…”
“What did he say?”
“Well, I told him you were always saying this stuff about me and him and called you stupid for those attitudes, th-”
“You called me stupid!”
“Oh, forget it!” I took a sip of my coffee.
“But what did he say?”
“He said he didn’t think you were stupid…”
“That’s because I’m right, and that means he wants to fuck you too… I’m so happy!!!!”
“Tanya! Nobody said anything about fucking! Shut up!”
This girl can remember everything so of course this came along.
“Why didn’t you call me yesterday when you got home?”
“I didn’t want to ruin your night. But I wasn’t alone.”
“Oh God! You found that about Tom, called Brian, he spent the night in MY house and still, you didn’t fuck him?!?!?! Jesus! You called me stupid? You are the stupid one here.”
“I just found that my boyfriend has been cheating on me, Brian just divorced. Have you got a brain?”
“I do, you don’t. You’re the only one that doesn’t understand he still loves you. Even the guys made little jokes about that…”
“Even if he does still love me, it doesn’t matter. I loved Tom, and now he broke my heart… but feelings don’t just disappear! I was so happy with Tom and he did this to me.”
“Exactly. How can you still love him?”
“I don’t love Tom, I just need to heal my heart. And for that I need time.”
“If you say that to Brian, I’m sure he’ll understand.”
“But I don’t love Brian either! I loved him once, but we’re done.”
“So many nights I spent without sleeping, comforting you while you cried for leaving Brian. You keep saying you had no other choice; a distant relationship would never work. But you didn’t mind doing that with the fucking asshole that cheated on you. You could’ve found a way to keep in touch with Brian. But you were afraid that with the success they were getting, he would replace for a backing dancer or something! So you ran away. Because that’s what you do. And don’t you say that running into him now didn’t have an effect on you, because it did! You left him but you still loved him.”
I stormed out of the coffee to the studio. I was red in the face and crying a little bit. I knew everything she said was true. Seeing Brian again and knowing he’s not with Michelle caused some reaction on me. But now I’m on a very difficult time of my life. I never thought I’d be on this place. And Brian somehow was a comfort to me. But nothing else. I didn’t love him anymore. I couldn’t. At least now, I couldn’t.
“What’s wrong Duracell Bunny?”
“Nothing’s wrong Jimmy, I just need to go!”
“Let me take you home!” Brian said dropping his guitar.
“It’s ok. I’ll walk there.”
“You’re not gonna leave this place unless you leave in my car.”
I couldn’t say no to Brian. I started crying during the ride and he stopped the car immediately.
“Is it still because of that douche?”
I couldn’t take it anymore.
“I’m sorry!” I started to speak real fast and he just looked at me confused.
“I’m sorry! I never wanted to leave you! I was scared, I had just lost my father, I was moving! God! I’m so sorry, Bri, I-I never want-wanted to hurt you! I’m sorry! I thought you would just dump me aft-after awhile… Sorry… ”
He didn’t say anything and I kept crying. I looked up at him and he was looking at me with a tear on the corner of his eye.
“You’re saying you still loved me but you were afraid.” I nodded.
“Freckles, I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“I know, I-I’m just stupid. You’re perfect.” He laughed.
“Then why did you ran.”
“I told you, I was scared. We were young… I’m sorry.” I was still crying.
“Stop crying. It’s ok. I forgive you. Fuck, I never blamed you for anything freckles… And even when I grew up I always thought about you…”
“What about Michelle?”
“I loved Michelle. But I wasn’t in love with her like I am with you.”
“You mean were.”
“I mean am, and always will be. I never forgot you and when I knew you had a boyfriend it was like a bucket of cold water. I thought I’ve had lost all my chances, and now knowing that he did this to you, I’m so mad that if I see that guy I’ll put him into a coma. But now I’m gonna fight for you again. ”
“Bria-”
“Don’t say anything. I know that right now you need time. But I just needed to get this out of my heart.”
We were at my house already and I looked at him.
“We’ll talk tomorrow. Go get some rest freckles.”
I got out of the car without being able to say anything else to him. I was shocked. I got home and my cousin wasn’t there, she was probably with her boyfriend. Thank God. I didn’t want to fight. I spent the rest of the day in my room thinking about my life and about what Brian just said to me. Now I know for sure that he’ll be there. When I’m ready, he’ll be there for me.