Without You, I'm Just Me

I returned to Naomi's and found her pacing the kitchen. Her back was to me; she stopped suddenly and murmured something. Then, she said, "You're not--no, they record everything! You want to stay where you are?...I didn't do anything! You hurt me, you hurt my kid, I want you to stay away from me!...No! No, yes it is over! It's over!"

I went over and grabbed the phone from her, hearing Rob yell something. It took a lot not to just hang up; "You wanna stay locked up, asshole, be my guest and keep calling. They told you to stop contacting her; I told your ass to think before you act, now shit is gonna be fucked up for you."

I hung up and shut Naomi's phone off. Her head hung, fingers threading through her hair; "He won't stop calling. I already called the police and they said they're going to keep him in custody until next Monday. I have to go down and file a restraining order against him for me and the boys."

"I have to talk to my dad about the whole assault charge."

Naomi stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me. I sighed softly and held her; she didn't cry, she just buried her face in the crook of my neck. I rubbed her back, "We'll be okay."

Naomi didn't respond, she only stayed close and kissed me. She wanted comfort and I was the closest thing to it for her. I felt bad for the entire thing; "Are you stressed out?" I asked her.

"Very."

I pulled back and kissed her lips, "You wanna take a bath or something?"

She shook her head, then began to shake her hair out with her fingers, "I have to go to the police station, then the court house. I'll pick you up before I get the boys."

I rubbed her back, "Just take a breath, Naomi. Shit's hard, but we'll get through it."

She only gave a nod, "Yeah, yeah."

I kissed her again and followed her to the bedroom.


My dad told me I was due in civil court just after Thanksgiving; a little less than two weeks. He went through the fact that I would plead no contest and either pay for Robert's hospital bills and a fine or serve a minimum of 4 months behind bars. My dad said he could get it reduced and have me do community service instead.

"It wasn't worth the trouble of this, Pete," my dad said as he removed his glasses.

"Yeah, it was. You don't know what he did, dad."

"Enlighten me."

My dad was angry that I had did this. Not because of my reputation or the negative publicity, but for the simple fact I could be taken from my kids. He had expressed this over the course of the last 2 hours.

"Dad, it's really bad," I mumbled, "I think I'll get angry if I tell you."

"It has to do with Naomi," my dad stated shortly, "what'd he do? He hit her, right?"

I gritted my teeth, "Dad..." I swallowed and shut my eyes, "he...he raped her in front of Lewis. On purpose."

The anger and annoyance slipped away from my dad's face.

"He bragged about it, and Lewis is scared as hell and he's upset with Naomi," I finished, "that's why I went after him. He sent her a text message, telling her she better come and see him, so I went instead."

"Dear God, I didn't know," he exclaimed.

"She didn't make me go, dad...she didn't even see the text until I was already gone."

"I'm sorry," he sputtered, "Jesus, I...I didn't even think a person could be that--that insane!"

"Me either, dad," I rubbed my eyes, "that's all I thought about when I read the text."

My dad patted my back, "I guess it was worth it then. Don't worry, Pete, I'll clean this up for you."

"I'm not begging for anything, I'll gladly do the damn time, because it was worth it," I bit at the inside of my lip, "he's going to jail too, or getting something for contacting Naomi. He called this morning from jail and Naomi is getting a restraining order for her and the boys; as long as he's away, they'll be safe."

"What's going on between you two?" My dad questioned now.

I shrugged, "She's letting me crash on her couch so I can be with Benny and Lew."

"No hanky panky," my dad warned, then stood, "understand?"

I snickered, "Got it, dad."

I wouldn't ever admit to sleeping with Naomi, because I knew my parents would be upset. They didn't want us to do anything that wasn't for the boys, and we weren't. Having sex was just something the both of us needed to relieve the tension.

It wasn't bad, neither.

After talking with my dad, I went upstairs to shower and clean up. I washed up, brushed my teeth and began to shave with just a towel around my waist. My mom had come in, asking if I was hungry, and gasped when she finally entered; "What happened to you?"

I looked up at her reflection, "What?"

"Your back--" she stopped, "Oh my god, Peter Wentz, please tell me you're not sleeping around!"

I shook my head, "I'm not sleeping with anyone mom."

"Boy, I wasn't born yesterday! I know sexual scratch marks when I see them!"

I kept my mouth shut.

"Where'd you get them?"

"Mom, it's easy," I replied, shaving beneath my chin, "just guess."

It didn't take but 2 seconds for her to slap my back, "Don't you dare say you're sleeping with Naomi at a time like this!"

"Okay, I won't say it."

"Pete, what's wrong with you two?"

"Mom, it's nothing," I said, "we only did it twice and it wasn't that big a deal. We're working things out for the boys, honestly; we're not together, we aren't planning anything dramatic or major. All we are, are friends--"

"Who have sex?" She snapped.

"Yeah, I guess."

She sucked her teeth, "You and Naomi are crazy kids, I swear."

I smiled, "I thought you wanted this?"

"I do, but not now! You're all going through some rough stuff. I meant down the line."

"We're taking it slow, ma, don't worry," I assured her, "me and Naomi aren't rushing into anything."

"Sleeping together is something," she frowned at my reflection.

"She insisted on it," I explained, "and who am I to turn down the woman of my dreams?"

My mom's sour look turned. She smiled, "You two are annoying and romantic, I swear. But, please, don't be stupid."

"We aren't--"

"Not her, you," she pointed at me, "you're a idiot sometimes, Pete."

"I know. I'm taking it slow, I swear."

"Good," she patted my back, "those look painful."

I just shook my head, "I'm fine."

My mom exhaled, "Are you staying with her?"

"I'm crashing on her couch," I continued to shave, "taking care of the boys."

"You aren't getting their hopes up of a future between you two, are you?"

I cringed at the thought. "I never thought of that."

My mom exasperated, "Oh no."

"Hey, they know we're working on things."

"I hope so," my mom shook her head, "bring them over tonight, I miss them."

"Yeah, sure."


Naomi picked me up around noon and you could see how upset she was. She looked so tense and tired; "What's wrong?" I asked her.

She swallowed, "I'm tired."

"I'll drive, switch with me."

Naomi and I switched seats; she was back against the seat; she was sending a text to her friends that she had gotten a new phone and number. She had mumbled again, under breath, about something while I drove.

"Want to go to my folks tonight?" I asked her. "My mom wants to see the kids."

"You can take them, I have to clean up and get rid of some stuff," she excused, "I need to wash some clothes--just a lot of things I have to do."

"You need to relax, Naomi," I said.

"I can't. That's why I need to clean."

"What did the police say?" I asked quickly, hoping they told her something that'd get rid of the stress.

"That they have evidence and I have to press charges if I want him to stay away from me," she exhaled, "I'm going to do that tomorrow...it's gonna take awhile until we see a judge."

I smiled at her, "See, it's working out."

"If you say so," she murmured. "I'm so tired of him."

I took her hand and squeezed it, "Just think, it'll be over soon and you'll barely notice it."

She smiled faintly, "I doubt that, but thanks anyway, Pete."

I drove in silence, looking over at her every so often. Once we got to the school, we still had some time before the bell rang. Naomi sighed and shifted in her seat; "Pete, what's going on between us?"

I looked at her, "I was gonna ask you the same thing."

"What do you wanna do?" She asked curiously, "Are we gonna keep up some weird facade that we're happy and that we're together?"

I frowned, "I didn't know it was a facade."

"I don't mean it in a bad way," she started, "I mean, is this really what we are? Do you want me and the boys--"

"Why are you even questioning that?"

"Because I've been through this before with you, Pete, and it didn't work out."

"Yeah...yeah, I'm sorry about that," I exhaled, "but I do want you. I ain't got shit to even run away to, except for you and the boys."

"Well, you're welcomed to stay, but we still have things to work out," she murmured, "a lot of things."

"Like what?" I asked curiously.

Naomi licked over her lips, "I don't want to rehash anything, but you know exactly what. I don't forgive you for what you did."

"What I did with Kate?"

She grimaced, "Yeah."

"I know you won't forgive me and I don't expect you to."

"I've missed you," she said quickly, "I don't care about it, but it still hurts...maybe I do care. I don't even talk to my old friends because of it."

"Naomi, I really am sorry."

"I know," she tweaked her lips, "Benji told me you guys ran into Chris last week."

"Yeah," I nodded, "I forgot about that."

"He and Babette got married, they have 2 kids; a boy and a girl. You'll never guess what they named them," she laughed softly.

"What? Something weird?"

"Christina and Brando," she giggled, "I know it's not cool to laugh, but I mean, it's funny. She just had Brando about 3 weeks ago."

"How do you know?"

"Eric still does a few jobs for my dad," she said, "he told me when I had to go in the office and help my dad's new secretary with some filing."

"Don't you hate him?"

"Yes, I do," she said with a nod, "he likes to gossip and it takes a lot not to smack him in the face."

"How come Babette won't talk to you? Just because of what me and Kate did?"

She exhaled, "Yeah. She had said something about it ruining her elopement with Chris. That was about 4 years ago--over 4 years ago. She and Chris got married just after that."

"He told me," I said, "he shouted it at me."

"Well, it's okay, I guess, they finally got each other. I kinda miss the old days, we had fun."

"We did," I smiled, "it was such a weird and crazy time."

"It was," she grinned.

Before we could reminisce the school bell rang; she and I got out the car and walked past the entry gates, separating to each get one of the boys.